- Shopping Bag ( 0 items )
From Barnes & Noble
Relationships snarl easily, even when you play by the rules. You figure love will make everything smooth; practical decisions about money, religion, or grandparents' rights will mystically work themselves out. But Judge Judy Sheindlin knows better. After two marriages and 30 years spent fixing others' nuptial agony, Judge Judy has seen it all. Marriages are botched; children are manipulated; wills are disputed. The key, she's found, is to think ahead. Be practical. You may feel less chest-squeezingly romantic at first, but you will also feel less trigger-squeezingly homicidal in the end.
The judge's no-nonsense, spicy style has earned her a loyal following for her syndicated courtroom show, Judge Judy. It's also popped her last two advice books, Don't Pee on My Leg and Tell me It's Raining and Beauty Fades, Dumb Is Forever, onto the bestseller lists. In Keep It Simple, Stupid, Judge Judy's acid wit again burns through tangled relationship problems, leaving only basic issues for consideration. She offers hardheaded advice to relationship manglers of all ages, especially those whose problems haven't yet come to a family court bench. Facing a host of marital dilemmas culled from her years as a family court judge, wife, and mother, Judge Judy cuts through the complications that foul most marriages.
The judge begins with some words of caution to cohabiters -- folks so spooked by legal bonds that they opt for a pseudocommitment instead. Her take? "If any child of mine ever opened a bank account with Mr. Almost-Sort-of-Committed, I'd have her committed." Cohabiters should recognize that shared finances must be written down, and gifts must be distinguished from loans. Without a legal marriage, you have to put yourself first.
But in most cases, Judge Judy points out, you have to put the relationship first. In a marriage, for example, Judge Judy insists that decisions must be worked out for the good of the couple -- hopefully in advance. She cautions: "Ten times measure, one time cut.... Some things just can't be undone." Make decisions in advance about what you expect, before the wedding takes place. And once you're married, always try to make things better for your mate rather than holding on to your independence like a grudge. Similarly, when you decide to have children, always try to make things better for the child. As the judge puts it: "Repeat this mantra: it's not about me, it's not about me, it's not about me." Children deserve protection -- particularly in cases of divorce. Even when parents remarry, children should always be considered first. The judge observes: "Balancing a new marriage with the needs of children already traumatized by divorce creates conflict.... Kids have exquisitely sensitive radar for any sign of unfairness, and you have to bend over backwards to make sure they don't feel short changed." But when children are grown, they must also take responsibility for helping their aging parents. In death as in life, says Judge Judy, your goal should be creating harmony rather than forcing others to recognize your needs.
In Keep It Simple, Stupid, Judge Judy creates a handy guidebook for those hoping to stay away from family court. Think ahead; do what's best for the family; always protect your children. The judge's simple advice makes sense in a time when relationships can be horribly confused -- and it's comforting to read that advice in such solid, uncompromising commandments. With Judge Judy's wit and hard-edged understanding, even common bunglers can keep their relationships romantic.