BN.com Gift Guide

Keep Your Wives Away from Them: Orthodox Women, Unorthodox Desires

Overview

Reconciling sexuality with religion has always been an enormous challenge. When the religion is Orthodox Judaism, the task is even more daunting. Keep Your Wives Away from Them takes on that challenge by giving voice to LBTQ Jewish women who were once silenced-and effectively rendered invisible-by their faith. While a number of films and books have given voice to queer Jewish people, none show what happens to women after the struggle, when the real work of building integrated lives begins. This important and ...

See more details below
Other sellers (Paperback)
  • All (22) from $1.99   
  • New (11) from $9.63   
  • Used (11) from $1.99   
Sending request ...

Overview

Reconciling sexuality with religion has always been an enormous challenge. When the religion is Orthodox Judaism, the task is even more daunting. Keep Your Wives Away from Them takes on that challenge by giving voice to LBTQ Jewish women who were once silenced-and effectively rendered invisible-by their faith. While a number of films and books have given voice to queer Jewish people, none show what happens to women after the struggle, when the real work of building integrated lives begins. This important and courageous collection affirms that it is possible to maintain religious tradition without foregoing one's gender and sexual identity. Contributors include musician and writer Temim Fruchter, professor Joy Ladin, writer Leah Lax, nurse Tamar Prager, and the pseudonymous Ex-Yeshiva Girl.

Read More Show Less

Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher
“Jews with unconventional identities should not have to wrestle alone at the intersection where their tradition seems to clash with their integrity as loving human beings. Like Moses responding to the travail of his brothers (Ex. 2:11), a caring halachic Jewish community should respond seriously to the heartfelt appeal of our contemporary sisters.”
—Rabbi Dr. Tzvi C. Marx, author of Disability in Jewish Law

“Moving. Challenging. Frustrating. Exhilarating. Important reading for all, indispensible for some. This book will save lives and heal souls, and it is sure to be banned in some circles because of that.”
—Shaul Kelner, assistant professor of sociology and Jewish studies, Vanderbilt University, and author of Tours that Bind: Diaspora, Pilgrimage, and Israeli Birthright Tourism

“Each powerful essay challenges my preconceptions about the nature of religious lives and communities, about gendered selves, and about the delights and constraints of Orthodox Judaism. Keep Your Wives Away from Them is a complex spirit journey that speaks of the longing for love and the search for comforting and comfortable identities.”
—Vanessa L. Ochs, associate professor of religious studies University of Virginia, and author of Inventing Jewish Ritual

“At last the Jewish feminist bookshelf will include the reflections of Orthodox LBTQ women, and what reflections they are! Lyrical, honest, painful, smart, triumphant, and powerful, this book invites all of us into the richness and complexity of Orthodox LBTQ life and should be read by anyone who cares about Judaism and Jewish life, as well as religion and sexuality.”
—Riv-Ellen Prell, professor of American studies, University of Minnesota, and editor of Women Remaking American Judaism

“[Keep Your Wives Away From Them] tells the stories of 14 women who were at one point in their lives silenced and made invisible by the conflict between their sexual, religious and cultural identities. [This book] presents a range of voices from people have come to terms with their identity as women-loving women and integrated this identity, in one way or another, with their identify as traditionally observant Jews.”
—TCJewFolk.com

“Kabakov’s collection of fourteen personal and scholarly essays not only acknowledges Jewish dykes, it argues that as long as Orthodox Judaism exists, there will be Orthodox LGBTQ people. The anthology includes the voices of diverse women, all of them bound by a desire to maintain a connection to traditional Jewish life—reciting daily prayers, keeping kosher, going to a monthly mikveh after menstruating, observing the Sabbath—but with a female partner… Keep Your Wives Away from Them is a bold plea for tolerance.”
Feminist Review

This engaging, touching, sometimes hilarious, and sometimes heart-breaking anthology brings together the voices of queer Jewish women from across the gender spectrum. Experienced scholars of Judaism and relative neophytes alike will come away with a deeper understanding of Jewish tradition, Jewish law, Jewish gender construction, and the interaction of gender and religiosity… The essays in this volume strike a nice balance between personal, confessional narrative, and scholarly discourse on Judaism and rabbinic law… The result is a collection of essays that both enlighten the reader on important matters of gender and sexuality with Judaism while also conveying a sense of what it means and looks like to live as an Orthodox woman—whether lesbian, trans, or somewhere else on the gender spectrum.”
New York Journal of Books

“One of the best features of Keep Your Wives Away From Them is a resource guide at the end of the book which includes websites of synagogues, schools, and Jewish organizations that provide education, support, and socialization opportunities for religious LGBT Jewish people… libraries with large LGBT and Jewish Studies collections should have a copy of this book on hand.”
—LambdaLiterary.org

“A pioneering collection of essays about lesbianism in the Orthodox community.”
Tablet Magazine

“The bulk of the essays [in Keep Your Wives Away From Them are] personal statements about the women’s efforts to reconcile the various parts of their identities and their need for finding community and family acceptance. Some of the essays are narrative while others are written in more poetic free forms. The volume includes a glossary of Jewish terms and an annotated list of Jewish LGBT resources. Recommended.”
—Sheryl Stahl, Association of Jewish Libraries Newsletter

“Keep Your Wives Away From Them, perfect for women just coming out or for their families, has an honorable and useful place in the evolving history of our people.”
Lilith Magazine

Read More Show Less

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781556438790
  • Publisher: North Atlantic Books
  • Publication date: 5/11/2010
  • Pages: 192
  • Product dimensions: 5.90 (w) x 8.90 (h) x 0.70 (d)

Meet the Author

Miryam Kabakov is director of the Minneapolis Jewish Film Festival, national program director of AVODAH: The Jewish Service Corps, coordinator of LGBT programming at the Manhattan Jewish Community Center, and a frequent speaker and workshop leader. She lives in Minnesota.
Read More Show Less

Table of Contents

Introduction xi

Foreword Judith Plaskow xix

Here and Now Leah Lax 1

The First Hug: A Story of Transgressions Temim Fruchter 6

You Lose These: A Little Review of My Life in Eighteen Episodes Geo Bloom 14

Love in the Women's Section Naomi Seidman 30

Jerusalem Voices Devorah Miriam 36

I Will See You on the Way Out Miryam Kabakov 45

Coming Out in the Orthodox World Tamar A. Prager 51

unOrthodox Naomi Zaslow 60

For You ... Now We Are Waiting For You Ex-Yeshiva Girl 71

"Women known for these acts" Through the Rabbinic Lens: A Study of Hilchot Lesbiut Elaine Chapnik 78

Regulating the Human Body: Rabbinic Legal Discourse and the Making of Jewish Gender Charlotte Elisheva Fonrobert 99

Learning to Be a Lesbian Mara H. Benjamin 126

The Road to Yehupetz Sasha T. Goldberg 134

In the Image Joy Ladin 141

Glossary 151

Resources 159

About the Contributors 163

About the Artists 169

Read More Show Less

Customer Reviews

Be the first to write a review
( 0 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star

(0)

4 Star

(0)

3 Star

(0)

2 Star

(0)

1 Star

(0)

Your Rating:

Your Name: Create a Pen Name or

Barnes & Noble.com Review Rules

Our reader reviews allow you to share your comments on titles you liked, or didn't, with others. By submitting an online review, you are representing to Barnes & Noble.com that all information contained in your review is original and accurate in all respects, and that the submission of such content by you and the posting of such content by Barnes & Noble.com does not and will not violate the rights of any third party. Please follow the rules below to help ensure that your review can be posted.

Reviews by Our Customers Under the Age of 13

We highly value and respect everyone's opinion concerning the titles we offer. However, we cannot allow persons under the age of 13 to have accounts at BN.com or to post customer reviews. Please see our Terms of Use for more details.

What to exclude from your review:

Please do not write about reviews, commentary, or information posted on the product page. If you see any errors in the information on the product page, please send us an email.

Reviews should not contain any of the following:

  • - HTML tags, profanity, obscenities, vulgarities, or comments that defame anyone
  • - Time-sensitive information such as tour dates, signings, lectures, etc.
  • - Single-word reviews. Other people will read your review to discover why you liked or didn't like the title. Be descriptive.
  • - Comments focusing on the author or that may ruin the ending for others
  • - Phone numbers, addresses, URLs
  • - Pricing and availability information or alternative ordering information
  • - Advertisements or commercial solicitation

Reminder:

  • - By submitting a review, you grant to Barnes & Noble.com and its sublicensees the royalty-free, perpetual, irrevocable right and license to use the review in accordance with the Barnes & Noble.com Terms of Use.
  • - Barnes & Noble.com reserves the right not to post any review -- particularly those that do not follow the terms and conditions of these Rules. Barnes & Noble.com also reserves the right to remove any review at any time without notice.
  • - See Terms of Use for other conditions and disclaimers.
Search for Products You'd Like to Recommend

Recommend other products that relate to your review. Just search for them below and share!

Create a Pen Name

Your Pen Name is your unique identity on BN.com. It will appear on the reviews you write and other website activities. Your Pen Name cannot be edited, changed or deleted once submitted.

 
Your Pen Name can be any combination of alphanumeric characters (plus - and _), and must be at least two characters long.

Continue Anonymously

    If you find inappropriate content, please report it to Barnes & Noble
    Why is this product inappropriate?
    Comments (optional)