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In the midst of the perennial concerns parents bring to Dr. Claudia Gold, she shows the magical effect of seeing a problem from their child’s point of view. Most parenting books teach parents what to do to solve behavior problems, but Dr. Gold shows parents how to be ...
In the midst of the perennial concerns parents bring to Dr. Claudia Gold, she shows the magical effect of seeing a problem from their child’s point of view. Most parenting books teach parents what to do to solve behavior problems, but Dr. Gold shows parents how to be with a child. Crises are defused when children feel truly heard and validated; this is how they learn to understand, and, eventually, control themselves.
Dr. Gold’s insightful guide uses new research in developmental psychology and vivid stories from her practice to show parents how to keep a child in mind and deepen this central relationship in their lives.
Publishers Weekly, 8/1/11
“Readers seeking a comprehensive approach to child-rearing will welcome this thoughtful book.”
Kirkus Review, 9/15/11
“Would be especially useful for new parents in search of holistic guidance. A panoply of hypothetical situations offering broad-based solutions.”
Bookviews, September 2011
“The book looks at various ages and stages of development, imparting excellent advice that will make the job of parenting much easier.”
Salt Lake CityDesertNews, 9/11/11
“Engaging and enlightening, Keeping Your Child in Mind is a book worth reading and rereading for any parent who is looking for understanding, support and a loving method that will bring out the best in a child. It is a breath of fresh air that parents may not have known they needed.”
“Valuable…Gold couples an understanding of recent scientific and medical research with insights into parent-child relationships gleaned from her own work … Connectedness is the point here… Gold’s examples of families with which her approach has worked are helpful.”
San Francisco Book Review, 10/5/11
“Gold supports her recommendations using easy-to-understand situations, examples and solutions gathered from her interactions with her clients and referring to current research in child development.”
“Gold’s book is a powerful way to bring decades of developmental research and attachment theory to everyday parenting situations. It gives all parents the insight needed to understand the emotions that undermine best intentions and explains why there isn’t “one right way” in parenting…Keeping Your Child in Mind can offer relief to parents frustrated by frustrated by day-to-day parenting or help change a self-defeating parenting pattern. It holds the key to enjoying your child again and creating a satisfying family life.”
Mid-OhioValleyParents Magazine, October 2011
“Give[s] parents a lot to think about.”
Cleveland Psychoanalytic Center (website), 10/9/11
Library Journal, 10/20/11
“Parents of older children with behavioral problems who are opposed to medication will find this advice useful…attachment-parenting proponents will applaud her approach.”
“Provides incredible insights for parents and anyone who works with children: teachers, doctors, daycare providers or counselors.”
“Rather than have a parenting book for each individual phase, Dr. Gold provides a single resource that can be applied to all stages…Worth your time!”
MidwestBook Review, November 2011
“From infants to teens, this offers different approaches to nurturing and building relationships with a child and is a pick for any parenting library.”
ParenThots.com (Malaysia), 7/9/12
“A timely book…A useful guide. It provides suggestions to unlocking some treasures by ‘being’ with our kids and slowing down to enjoy the flowers, with the life in our care.”
A behavioral pediatrician reflects on the importance of understanding problems from a child's perspective, with emphasis on "right brain" communication.
Based on composites of patients as well as personal mothering experiences, Gold introduces scenarios spanning the newborn to teenage years that are often resolved by examining context, underlying emotions and events in the parents' lives rather than by fixating on controlling behavior. What matters is understanding "how to be" with one's child rather than figuring out "what to do"; considering the meaning behind actions before reacting; and formulating healthy responses that acknowledge a child's real needs while setting respectful boundaries. Gold readily admits this process will not come easily for everyone; it is most effective when primary caregivers have a strong support system of their own. The intersperses anecdotes on topics including colic, sleep management, attachment, separation anxiety, discipline and the development of individual identities with well-known studies from the fields of psychoanalysis, neuroscience and behavioral genetics (among others), citing John Bowlby's attachment theory and Donald Wood Winnicott's idea of the good-enough mother. Though parents may have experienced difficulty in their own childhoods, which could influence their current perspectives, they do not have to fall into the same traps as their own parents, and can learn more nurturing methods. Gold's simple, direct assurances, while not groundbreaking, would be especially useful for new parents in search of holistic guidance.
A panoply of hypothetical situations offering broad-based solutions.
1 "It's Not About the Soup": Holding Your Child in Mind 1
2 Strengthening the Secure Base: Listening to Parents 27
3 Living with "Colic":Holding Your Newborn in Mind 51
4 Managing Sleep:Holding Your Infant in Mind 73
5 Discipline and Limit Setting:Holding Your Toddler in Mind 97
6 Separation Anxiety and "Explosive" Behavior: Holding Your Preschooler in Mind 123
7 Learning and Social Challenges:Holding Your School-Age Child in Mind 145
8 Supporting the Search for Identity:Holding Your Teenager in Mind 163
9 Beyond Medication 183
Useful Websites 217
Photo Credits 228
About the Author 229
Posted October 22, 2012
In a sea of parenting books, I found this book to offer a different perspective. Parenting two young children has been stressful and I love how Dr. Gold discusses supporting parents and honoring their experience. After reading, I felt reminded of how my emotional state sets the tone for my family even if I am trying to project calmness to them. It starts with me and then we can address my children and their behavior. I found the book engaging, the format user friendly, and the intention refreshing.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted May 30, 2013
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