King Dork

( 44 )

Overview

As John Green, New York Times bestselling author of The Fault in Our Stars said, “King Dork will rock your world.” The cult classic from Frank Portman, aka Dr. Frank of the Mr. T. Experience, is a book like nothing ever done before--King Dork literally has something for everyone: At least a half-dozen mysteries, love, mistaken identity, girls, monks, books, blood, bubblegum, and rock and roll. This book is based on music--a passion most kids have--and it has original (hilarious)...
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Overview

As John Green, New York Times bestselling author of The Fault in Our Stars said, “King Dork will rock your world.” The cult classic from Frank Portman, aka Dr. Frank of the Mr. T. Experience, is a book like nothing ever done before--King Dork literally has something for everyone: At least a half-dozen mysteries, love, mistaken identity, girls, monks, books, blood, bubblegum, and rock and roll. This book is based on music--a passion most kids have--and it has original (hilarious) songs and song lyrics throughout.
   When Tom Henderson finds his deceased father’s copy of J. D. Salinger’s The Catcher in the Rye, his world is turned upside down. Suddenly high school gets more complicated: Tom (aka King Dork) is in the middle of at least half a dozen mysteries involving dead people, naked people, fake people, a secret code, girls, and rock and roll. As he goes through sophomore year, he finds clues that may very well solve the puzzle of his father’s death and—oddly—reveal the secret to attracting semi-hot girls (the secret might be being in a band, if he can find a drummer who can count to four.
   A brilliant story, King Dork includes a glossary and a bandography. And look for King Dork Approximtely, the sequel to King Dork, available in winter 2014.

Praise for King Dork:


“Basically, if you are a human being with even a vague grasp of the English language, King Dork, will rock your world.”—John Green, author of The Fault in Our Stars
 
“[No account of high school] has made me laugh more than King Dork. . . . Grade A.”—Entertainment Weekly
 
“Impossibly brilliant.”—Time

“Provides a window into what it would be like if Holden Caulfield read The Catcher in the Rye.”—New York Post

“Loaded with sharp and offbeat humor.”—USA Today
 
[STAR] “Original, heartfelt, and sparkling with wit and intelligence. This novel will linger long in readers’ memories.”—School Library Journal, Starred
 
[STAR] “A biting and witty high-school satire.”—Kirkus Reviews, Starred
 
[STAR] “Tom’s narration is piercingly satirical and acidly witty.”—The Bulletin of the Center for Children’s Books, Starred
 
“King Dork is smart, funny, occasionally raunchy and refreshingly clear about what it’s like to be in high school.”—San Francisco Chronicle
 
King Dork: Best Punk Rock Book Ever.”—The Village Voice
 
“I love this book as much as I hated high school, and that’s some of the highest praise I can possibly give.”—Bookslut.com

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Editorial Reviews

From Barnes & Noble
In this teen novel that garnered much acclaim in 2006 -- and is worth every ounce of praise -- Frank Portman introduces a down-and-out high schooler whose discovery of The Catcher in the Rye leads to him unlocking conspiracies surrounding his father's death -- and attracting girls at the same time. With a smart voice and story line that will keep you reading until the wee hours, Portman's debut taps into the author's punk-rock background to produce a memorable protagonist with the sarcastic wit and sex-on-the-brain attitude that will strike plenty of chords in mature teen readers.
From the Publisher
Praise for King Dork:

“Basically, if you are a human being with even a vague grasp of the English language, King Dork, will rock your world.”—John Green, author of The Fault in Our Stars
 
“[No account of high school] has made me laugh more than King Dork. . . . Grade A.”—Entertainment Weekly
 
“Impossibly brilliant.”—Time

“Provides a window into what it would be like if Holden Caulfield read The Catcher in the Rye.”—New York Post

[STAR] “Original, heartfelt, and sparkling with wit and intelligence. This novel will linger long in readers’ memories.”—School Library Journal, Starred
 
[STAR] “A biting and witty high-school satire.”—Kirkus Reviews, Starred
 
[STAR] “Tom’s narration is piercingly satirical and acidly witty.”—The Bulletin of the Center for Children’s Books, Starred
 
“Loaded with sharp and offbeat humor.”—USA Today
 
“King Dork is smart, funny, occasionally raunchy and refreshingly clear about what it’s like to be in high school.”—San Francisco Chronicle
 
King Dork: Best Punk Rock Book Ever.”—The Village Voice
 
“I love this book as much as I hated high school, and that’s some of the highest praise I can possibly give.”—Bookslut.com
 
“Just the thing for those snarky teens.”—People
 
“King Dork is smart, funny, occasionally raunchy and refreshingly clear about what it’s like to be in high school.”—San Francisco Chronicle
 
“This is the funniest, freshest, most original book of any kind that I have read in a very long time. It’s so damn good that I’m just happy there are people like Frank Portman writing books. Period.” —Megan McCafferty, author of Sloppy Firsts, Second Helpings, and Charmed Thirds
 
“Frank Portman . . . proves to be a born storyteller in this hilarious coming-of-age novel.”—Chicago Sun-Times
 
“The author’s biting humor and skillful connection of events will keep pages turning.”—Publishers Weekly
 
“Inventive and sexy, [King Dork is] fun to read and provides endless food for thought—everything I want from a book.” —Melvin Burgess, author of Doing It and Smack
 

“Portman . . . scores with a debut novel that’s funny, sharp, and spot-on at portraying a teen who sees musical stardom as more attainable than scoring with a girl.”—Seattle Post-Intelligencer
 
“A modern and arguably better (yes, I said it) version of the J. D. Salinger staple.”—American Way
 
King Dork is unique: a detective-story ode to hormones, teenage bands, and the books they made you read in high school. Hilarious, unflinching, and surprising from start to finish.” —Ned Vizzini, author of It’s Kind of a Funny Story
 
 “The MySpace generation’s Catcher in the Rye.”—Gawker.com
 
“The ironically self-crowned dork narrator is a terrific guide through the scary world of high school.”—E! Online
 
“Channeling the wisdom of a cynical rock sophisticate through the voice of a self-conscious fourteen-year-old misfit, Frank Portman has created a winning post-punk Hardy Boy equal.”-Ira Robbins, TrouserPress.com
 
“A funny, pointed poke in the eye to the bloated Catcher in the Rye cult, and also a fine alienated teen novel in its own right.”—Neal Pollack, author of Never Mind the Pollacks: A Rock and Roll Novel
 
“A funny, intelligent, inspiring, can’t-even-put-it-down-when-I-go-to-the-bathroom story. Seriously, I vowed to only write about this well-publicized book after I read it myself, and I’m happy to report that it’s worth the hype.”—Whitney Matheson in USA Today’s Pop Candy
 
“This pitch-perfect mixture of Veronica Mars and Freaks and Geeks exudes realistic, self-aware teen angst on every page, and should be a permanent addition to libraries alongside Brighton Rock, A Separate Peace . . . and even Catcher.”—The Oregonian
 

“The magic of King Dork lies in its cutting satire and narrative voice. It smartly skewers just about every aspect of the educational system. For readers who have suffered through a pep rally, detention or English class, Portman’s arrival is cause for regal glee.”—The Plain Dealer (Cleveland)
 
“Frank Portman takes on the high-school coming-of-age story with enough music what-for to satisfy the most ardent of music snobs. He also cuts to pieces Catcher in the Rye, a job you might not have known needed to be done.”—SF Weekly

From the Hardcover edition.

Publishers Weekly
This witty, biting and wholly memorable debut novel by punk singer/musician Portman (the Mr. T. Experience or MTX) was born to be an audiobook. Hoppe nails the brainy, cynical yet likable tone of teen narrator and aspiring songwriter/band god Tom Henderson. And Portman gets to strike some creative chords by performing five original acoustic songs penned by Tom (and mentioned throughout the narrative) to close the recording. But Tom's music obsession aside, it's his sharp and often hilarious observations about the cruelty and inanity that pervade his daily life at Hillmont High that will have listeners entranced. In between fantasizing about semi-hot girls and dreaming up ideas for the band with his friend Sam, taking ridiculously easy AP classes in French and social studies/humanities, and dodging bullies and mean teachers, Tom starts to investigate the circumstances behind his detective father's mysterious death. A funny thing: all roads-in school and outside of it-seem to lead to that 1950s novel that elicits a cult-like worship among academic and hipster types, The Catcher in the Rye. A secret code written in his late father's copy of the Salinger classic only complicates matters on every level, but listeners will want to stick around for the conclusion, especially to hear Tom's glossary-replete with mispronunciations mocking his teacher, and a bonus interview with the author. Ages 14-up. (Apr.) Copyright 2006 Reed Business Information.
VOYA
Losers Sam Hellerman and Tom Henderson have shared an alphabetical-order friendship for most of their years in school. The nerdy twosome now attends Hillmont High School, where they are tormented relentlessly by students and faculty alike. Tom and Sam make up mythical bands-complete with accompanying musicians, song lyrics and album covers-twenty-five bands to be exact. Catcher in the Rye is the mainstay of the Hillmont English Department, and Tom is totally against the "Catcher Cult." Leaving the book behind at school with an assignment due, he rummages through his deceased father's teen library hoping to find a replacement copy. When he does, he discovers messages, secret codes, and a funeral card tucked inside. So begins the mystery of unraveling the real cause of his father's death and who is the mysterious "Tit" who corresponds with his dad in the book's margins. At the same time, Tom is learning to attract hot girls while avoiding a loopy associate principal who runs a teen porn ring. Although the writing is very clever, the sentences ramble on. The sarcastic humor will appeal only to mature teens with an interest in 1960s novels, heavy metal music, oral sex, and random beatings. The denouement is too bizarre to be believable, and the included sketches and glossary of English words seem out of place in a work of fiction. VOYA CODES: 2Q 2P S (Better editing or work by the author might have warranted a 3Q; For the YA with a special interest in the subject; Senior High, defined as grades 10 to 12). 2006, Delacorte, 352p.; Glossary. Illus., and PLB Ages 15 to 18.
—Kathie Fitch
KLIATT - Francine Levitov
To quote the review of the audiobook in KLIATT, September 2006: Musician/songwriter Portman has launched his literary career with a diabolically clever and funny book that is a brilliant satire, a coming-of-age story, and a mystery, all rolled seamlessly into one. Nerdy Tom Henderson, aka "Chimo," attends Hillmont High, where gifted classes paste artsy collages while the rest of the student body engage in various forms of institutionalized mayhem. The faculty and administration, original caricatures of all-too-recognizable types of public educators, have only one thing in common—an abiding devotion to Catcher in the Rye, which they treat as a master key to open the minds of adolescents, over and over and over again. Tom, so much like Holden Caulfield that he doesn't notice that or much of anything else important, either, is fed up with the novel. Ironically, however, when he discovers his late father's hand-annotated copy of the book, it actually does change his life (with a little help from his band). Hobbes does a fine job as the disaffected young protagonist/cynic. The book closes with a hilarious glossary. Sex and strong language. Reviewer: Francine Levitov
School Library Journal
Gr 10 Up-Original, heartfelt, and sparkling with wit and intelligence, this debut novel tells the story of a 14-year-old outsider, Tom Henderson. For him, life is a series of humiliations, from the associate principal who mocks him to the popular girls who put him on their "Dud list." The teen takes refuge in music, writing songs, and inventing band names with his only friend, Sam. He looks for a copy of The Catcher in the Rye in a box of books left by his father, a detective who died under strange circumstances. Tom sets out to read each volume, decode the secret messages that he finds, and figure out who his father really was. The daily torments of life at Hillmont High School play out brilliantly in ways that are both hilarious and heartbreaking. Sexual references and encounters abound, and the language is frank-oral sex is a frequent topic, as is drug use by teens and adults-but none of it is gratuitous. The plot unfolds at a leisurely pace, with digressions on music, popular culture, high school customs, literary criticism, and general philosophical observations, but Tom is so engaging that most readers won't mind. He's intellectually far above most of his peers but still recognizably a teen in his obsessions. The plot's mysteries come together for a conclusion that is satisfying but doesn't tie up all the loose ends. This dazzling novel will linger long in readers' memories.-Miranda Doyle, San Francisco Public Library Copyright 2006 Reed Business Information.
Kirkus Reviews
A biting and witty high-school satire explores cross-generation mysteries and music. Tom "Chi-Mo" (short for "Child Molester") Henderson is used to being a nobody, and entertains himself by designing band names: Baby Batter, Oxford English, Tennis with Guitars. Every year Tom's teachers force him to read Catcher in the Rye, the book that changed their lives. Though Tom scoffs at what he calls "the Catcher cult," the book is about to change his life, too, if not in Mr. Schtuppe-approved ways. Tom finds his dead father's copy of Catcher in a box of old books, chock-full of margin notes and mysterious scribbles. Further investigation reveals murder, suicide and illicit sex comprising both current and 40-year-old mysteries. Tom investigates his father's past while forming a real (terrible) band, discovering blow jobs and surviving a skull fracture. He gains personal revelations that both reject and embrace his parents' generation and its Holden Caulfields, in a story richly flavored with 1960s cult novels and 1970s rock-and-roll. The open-ended conclusion is unexpectedly satisfying. (Fiction. YA)
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780385734509
  • Publisher: Random House Children's Books
  • Publication date: 2/12/2008
  • Edition description: Reprint
  • Pages: 368
  • Sales rank: 192,671
  • Age range: 14 - 17 Years
  • Product dimensions: 5.10 (w) x 7.90 (h) x 0.80 (d)

Meet the Author

Frank Portman

Frank Portman (aka Dr. Frank) is also the author of Andromeda Klein and the singer/songwriter/guitarist of the influential East Bay punk band the Mr. T. Experience (MTX). MTX has released about a dozen albums since forming in the mid-1980s. Frank lives in Oakland, California. Visit him online at frankportman.com, look for him on Facebook, and follow @frankportman on Twitter.

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Read an Excerpt

August

KING DORK

They call me King Dork.

Well, let me put it another way: no one ever actually calls me King Dork. It's how I refer to myself in my head, a silent protest and an acknowledgment of reality at the same time. I don't command a nerd army, or preside over a realm of the socially ill-equipped. I'm small for my age, young for my grade, uncomfortable in most situations, nearsighted, skinny, awkward, and nervous. And no good at sports. So Dork is accurate. The King part is pure sarcasm, though: there's nothing special or ultimate about me. I'm generic. It's more like I'm one of the kings in a pack of crazy, backward playing cards, designed for a game where anyone who gets me automatically loses the hand. I mean, everything beats me, even twos and threes.

I suppose I fit the traditional mold of the brainy, freaky, oddball kid who reads too much, so bright that his genius is sometimes mistaken for just being retarded. I know a lot of trivia, and I often use words that sound made-up but that actually turn out to be in the dictionary, to everyone's surprise--but I can never quite manage to keep my shoes tied or figure out anything to say if someone addresses me directly. I play it up. It's all I've got going for me, and if a guy can manage to leave the impression that his awkwardness arises from some kind of deep or complicated soul, why not go for it? But, I admit, most of the time, I walk around here feeling like a total idiot.

Most people in the world outside my head know me as Moe, even though my real name is Tom. Moe isn't a normal nickname. It's more like an abbreviation, short for Chi-Mo. And even that's an abbreviation for something else.

Often, when people hear "Chi-Mo" they'll smile and say, "Hippie parents?" I never know what to say to that because yes, my folks are more hippie than not, but no, that's not where the name comes from.

Chi-Mo is derogatory, though you wouldn't necessarily know that unless you heard the story behind it. Yet even those who don't know the specific story can sense its dark origins, which is why it has held on for so long. They get a kick out of it without really knowing why. Maybe they notice me wincing when I hear them say it, but I don't know: there are all sorts of reasons I could be wincing. Life is a wince-a-thon.
There's a list of around thirty or forty supposedly insulting things that people have called me that I know about, past and present, and a lot of them are way worse than Moe. Some are classic and logical, like Hender-pig, Hender-fag, or Hender-fuck. Some are based on jokes or convoluted theories of offensiveness that are so retarded no one could ever hope to understand them. Like Sheepie. Figure that one out and you win a prize. As for Chi-Mo, it goes all the way back to the seventh grade, and it wouldn't even be worth mentioning except for the fact that this particular nickname ended up playing an unexpectedly prominent role in the weird stuff that happened toward the end of this school term. So, you know, I thought I'd mention it.

Mr. Teone, the associate principal for the ninth and tenth grades, always refers to Sam Hellerman as Peggy. I guess he's trying to imply that Sam Hellerman looks like a girl. Well, okay, so maybe Sam Hellerman does look a little like a girl in a certain way, but that's not the point.

In fact, Mr. Teone happens to have a huge rear end and pretty prominent man boobs, and looks way more like a lady than Sam Hellerman ever could unless he were to gain around two hundred pounds and start a course of hormone therapy. Clearly, he's trying to draw attention away from his own nontraditionally gendered form factor by focusing on the alleged femininity of another. Though why he decided to pick on Sam Hellerman as part of his personal battle against his own body image remains a mystery.

I'm just glad it's not me who gets called Peggy, because who needs it?

There's always a bit of suspense about the particular way in which a given school year will get off to a bad start.

This year, it was an evil omen, like when druids observe an owl against the moon in the first hour of Samhain and conclude that a grim doom awaits the harvest. That kind of thing can set the tone for the rest of the year. What I'm getting at is, the first living creature Sam Hellerman and I encountered when we penetrated the school grounds on the first day of school was none other than Mr. Teone.

The sky seemed suddenly to darken.

We were walking past the faculty parking, and he was seated in his beat-up '93 Geo Prizm, struggling to force his supersized body through the open car door. We hurried past, but he noticed us just as he finally squeezed through. He stood by the car, panting heavily from the effort and trying to tuck his shirt into his pants so that it would stay in for longer than a few seconds.

"Good morning, Peggy," he said to Sam Hellerman. "So you decided to risk another year." He turned to me and bellowed: "Henderson!" Then he did this big theatrical salute and waddled away, laughing to himself.

He always calls me by my last name and he always salutes. Clearly, mocking me and Sam Hellerman is more important than the preservation of his own dignity. He seems to consider it to be part of his job. Which tells you just about everything you need to know about Hillmont High School society.

It could be worse. Mr. Donnelly, PE teacher and sadist supreme, along with his jabbering horde of young sports troglodytes-in-training, never bother with Moe or Peggy, and they don't salute. They prefer to say "pussy" and hit you on the ear with a cupped palm. According to an article called "Physical Interrogation Techniques" in one of my magazines (Today's Mercenary), this can cause damage to the eardrum and even death when applied accurately. But Mr. Donnelly and his minions are not in it for the accuracy. They operate on pure, mean-spirited, status-conscious instinct, which usually isn't very well thought out. Lucky for me they're so poorly trained, or I'd be in big trouble.

But there's no point fretting about what people call you. Enough ill will can turn anything into an attack. Even your own actual name.

"I think he's making fun of your army coat," said Sam Hellerman as we headed inside. Maybe that was it. I admit, I did look a little silly in the coat, especially since I hardly ever took it off, even in the hottest weather. I couldn't take it off, for reasons I'll get to in a bit.

From the Hardcover edition.

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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4
( 44 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star

(15)

4 Star

(15)

3 Star

(8)

2 Star

(3)

1 Star

(3)

Your Rating:

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See All Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 45 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted April 18, 2006

    Queen Dork here loves King Dork book

    I really enjoyed this book - I was a serious Queen dork in high school - I even made up band names with my dorky friends. This book is ageless. Everyone can dive into this whether you are a dork or just want to delve into the mysterious world of dorkdom.

    3 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted April 1, 2012

    Highly Recommended - you must check it out!!

    Loved this book. I don't think you can ever be to old to enjoy a coming of age tale. Read this book and try to avoid normal-psychotics.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted May 25, 2011

    Highly Recommended - if you like dragging on!

    In King Dork, Frank Portman tells the colorless life of a typical nerdy teenager who struggles with the death of his father throughout his high-school career. Frank Portman writes this book in a humorous style that mocks the 1950's novel The Catcher In The Rye. In this high-school career he has to suffer through, this boy finds a way to cope with his best friend, well his only friend, by making up unimaginable rock band names and fantasies. After humiliating experiences with bullies, girls, and teachers, he somehow finds ways to make it through this long and dull year of school.
    Tom Henderson is just a non-gratifying, non-athletic, and non-social teenager who throughout the course of this book finds some of his father's old books. His father passed away and tom has no clue how or why it happened. His one and only friend Sam Hellerman, is always coming up with new names for their new fantasy rock band. There are points where Tom goes to a party or get together and he got particularly fond of one person in certain. Tom is trying to be more social and get more involved with people at his school so he has more friends and more ways to get over the death of his father. One way he deals with the humiliation of kids at school is when he finds a box of books of his father's from when he was in school and a young boy such as Tom is now.
    This book's dull and conventional plot is shown by the humorous and mocking style that Frank Portman has made. The novel has made its point of being long and dragging on by using non-entertaining events and opposite views of The Catcher In The Rye. In a sense, this story goes through a dull state but very slowly picks up through multiple ridiculous events but comes to a much wanted closure of the story.

    1 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted September 6, 2010

    Terrific

    After I read King Dork I thought it was a great book. What really drew me into the book was the theme. I really enjoyed the theme because I see it almost every day in school. The other thing i liked about this book was the main character. Me and Tom Henderson both have the same interests in classic rock and playing the guitar. King dork was a great book and I would suggest reading it. The book does have some bad language for kids 12 and under but, I would request this to many other teenagers my age. Overall King Dork was a great book and I enjoyed every page of it.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 28, 2010

    King Dork

    The book "King Dork" seems confusing at first but it all sorts out in page- turning explanations. What I enjoyed about this book was the repeated phrase "I kid you not" it's different and unique to what you would read today. The unsolvable mysteries of his father's death make an interesting topic for this novel. Though you and the main character (Tom Henderson) never find out how he died. Tom and his friend (Sam Hellerman) try and come up with multiple explanations due to the evidence found and codes broken.
    The other half of this book is about rock and roll. I enjoy music so it makes the book more enjoyable for me. In the book their band has an ever-changing name but in the mist of it they get their new instruments and find the drummer they have endlessly looked for. The high school they attend is called Hillmont High but the way they look at it they think it's better named Hellmont due to the drama. I would recommend this book to anyone who likes mysteries, music and/or high school drama. "King Dork was a riveting summer experience.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted August 7, 2010

    Content More Suitable for High School Students

    The book King Dork is about Tom Henderson, an American high school loser. He has no athletic ability and no social life. He attends Hillmont High School in Hillmont, California. Nobody ever calls Tom a dork, that's just how he refers to himself in his head. When Tom discovers the book The Catcher in the Rye, it changes his life. Inside of his father's copy of the book are some notes that his father made and the abbreviation CEH 1960.

    Tom lives with his mom, step dad and his sister. Tom's father had died when Tom was eight. He believes his father, who worked as a policeman, died in a car crash. Tom has one best friend, Sam Hellerman. Tom and Sam have formed a band though they constantly change the name. In this Coming of Age book, Tom and Sam make many discoveries including details surrounding the death of Tom's father.

    I think that this book accurately describes high school life with all of its challenges that students have to overcome. It deals with family life, drugs, pornography, sex and many more problems. There are numerous references to YA Novels and rock and roll bands of the 60s and 70s. A glossary in the back of the novel helps students more fully understand what the terms in this book mean. Organized by months, this book is similar to Diary of a Wimpy Kid, but on a much more mature level. This book would appeal to students in grades 8-11.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 26, 2013

    Tell me wedgie stories

    Plz

    0 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 22, 2013

    To jd

    Who r u talking to?

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 2, 2012

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted September 20, 2011

    ....What?

    Clearly the author hasnt been in a school since the 80s. The mystery unravels itself in the end, so dont bother following along.

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted April 9, 2010

    I Also Recommend:

    King Dork

    King Dork was a funny and eccentric book; a decked out version of real high school life. When main character Tom Henderson discovers an old copy of the book he's always hated-The Catcher in the Rye- his world changes. As a typical high school nerd surrounded by people who want to humiliate, pummel and use him, Tom uses his new-found knowledge to help discover the secrets to surviving, getting the girl(s), and rocking out.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 30, 2009

    King Dork

    King Dork was definitley worth the time to read. This book was very in depth with sex,drugs, and foul language. 14-15 and above is about the appropiate age to read this book. This is probably one of the best books I have read because I can relate to some of the events that happen throughout the book. Overall King Dork is an excellent book.

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  • Posted March 20, 2009

    King Dork

    King Dork is probably one of the better book i have read in my lifetime. Tom Henderson is a sophmore at his highschool, Hillmont High. He is going through all of the normal teenage boy stuff. He has one best friend, Sam Hellerman, who helps him through the highs and lows of life. Tom's father died in an "acident" and Tom is trying to figure out how. He finds mysterious clues in his deceased father's library. Add school and band practice to all of that and you have the life of a king dork. I found this book to be very humorous and enjoyable. I would defenately recomend this book to those who like to laugh.

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  • Posted November 2, 2008

    more from this reviewer

    Reviewed by Jennifer Wardrip, aka "The Genius" for TeensReadToo.com

    Right after I finished KING DORK, the debut novel from author Frank Portman, I sat down to write my review--and stared at my computer for fifteen very long minutes wondering exactly how to explain this book. KING DORK will do that to you--leave you speechless, not quite sure of how to put what you feel into words. I guess if I could only use two words <BR/>to describe this book, I would choose "wonderfully odd." If Tom Henderson (aka King Dork) had to describe it, it would probably go something like this...<BR/><BR/>"It's actually kind of a complicated story, involving at least half a dozen mysteries, plus dead people, naked people, fake people, teen sex, weird sex, drugs, ESP, Satanism, books, blood, Bubblegum, guitars, monks, faith, love, witchcraft, the Bible, girls, a war, a secret code, a head injury, the Crusades, some crimes, mispronunciation skills, a mystery woman, a devil-head, a blow job, and rock and roll."<BR/><BR/>And that, ladies and gentleman, pretty much sums it up. "And I'm not even exaggerating all that much. I swear to God."<BR/><BR/>If I met Tom Henderson in real life, and had a one-minute conversation with him, I would undoubtedly wonder 1) what the hell this guy was talking about, or 2) what the hell I was talking about when talking to him.<BR/><BR/>Yes, it's that kind of a book. A story that starts with the simple task of Tom trying to find any old copy of THE CATCHER IN THE RYE and instead finding a marked-up, footnoted, annotated, high-lighted version his dead father once owned. It all goes downhill--or over the proverbial edge--from there.<BR/><BR/>I've decided that there's simply no other way to accurately describe this book. I can't give you a plot outline without giving away the entire story, so you'll simply have to pick up a copy of KING DORK for yourself. I guarantee you won't be disappointed, and I can also guarantee that you'll never find better band names than Baby Batter, Ray Bradbury's Love-Camel, The Mordor Apes, or We Have Eaten All the Cake. Just as you'll never find a better one-liner than "Talk Won Ton to Me, You Crazy Asian Superstar."<BR/><BR/>And that's all I've got to say about that.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 25, 2008

    The Catcher in the Rye - modernized!

    What would you do if you found out that your dad was murdered? Even more disturbing, what would you do if you found out that the murderer was the father of the girl you¿ve been hooking up with every week? This is just one of the many exciting conspiracies that Tom faces in the book King Dork by Frank Portman. This modern day Catcher in the Rye story is about a teenager who doesn¿t quite fit in with anyone except for his best friend Sam, and his dad¿s collection of old books from when he was Tom¿s age, which includes The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger. The book acts as a mentor for Tom as he deals with school, girls, and family. This story will captivate you with its witty humor and outrageous surprises. Nothing in this world will sufficiently prepare you for the content of this book. A true page turner would best describe this story, with one event leading into another. This book is among the best I¿ve ever read. It¿s not depressing like most of the young adult books out there. Tom isn¿t trying to make you feel bad for him. His personality is fascinating, and he will pull you into his world. I love the realism of this story and I was very surprised to find that it is not a true story. Tom is a confused, smart kid just like me which made it very easy to relate to. It¿s a reminder that the irony of life is here to stay. If you¿re used to tragic, heartbreaking books, you¿d find King Dork to be a refreshing step away from that. Both boys and girls would enjoy this book, although it¿s directed towards a more mature audience. Some adults might enjoy this book if they enjoy young adult fiction with sarcastic, immature humor. Anyone who enjoys realistic fiction would find this book to be a good read, but even more so if you¿ve already read The Catcher in the Rye because of the many references made to it. You won¿t regret taking the time to read the unforgettable King Dork!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted October 22, 2007

    a reviewer

    Right after I finished KING DORK, the debut novel from author Frank Portman, I sat down to write my review--and stared at my computer for fifteen very long minutes wondering exactly how to explain this book. KING DORK will do that to you--leave you speechless, not quite sure of how to put what you feel into words. I guess if I could only use two words to describe this book, I would choose 'wonderfully odd.' If Tom Henderson (aka King Dork) had to describe it, it would probably go something like this... 'It's actually kind of a complicated story, involving at least half a dozen mysteries, plus dead people, naked people, fake people, teen sex, weird sex, drugs, ESP, Satanism, books, blood, Bubblegum, guitars, monks, faith, love, witchcraft, the Bible, girls, a war, a secret code, a head injury, the Crusades, some crimes, mispronunciation skills, a mystery woman, a devil-head, a blow job, and rock and roll.' And that, ladies and gentleman, pretty much sums it up. 'And I'm not even exaggerating all that much. I swear to God.' If I met Tom Henderson in real life, and had a one-minute conversation with him, I would undoubtedly wonder 1) what the hell this guy was talking about, or 2) what the hell I was talking about when talking to him. Yes, it's that kind of a book. A story that starts with the simple task of Tom trying to find any old copy of THE CATCHER IN THE RYE and instead finding a marked-up, footnoted, annotated, high-lighted version his dead father once owned. It all goes downhill--or over the proverbial edge--from there. I've decided that there's simply no other way to accurately describe this book. I can't give you a plot outline without giving away the entire story, so you'll simply have to pick up a copy of KING DORK for yourself. I guarantee you won't be disappointed, and I can also guarantee that you'll never find better band names than Baby Batter, Ray Bradbury's Love-Camel, The Mordor Apes, or We Have Eaten All the Cake. Just as you'll never find a better one-liner than 'Talk Won Ton to Me, You Crazy Asian Superstar.' And that's all I've got to say about that. **Reviewed by: Jennifer Wardrip, aka 'The Genius'

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 7, 2007

    Extreamly funny, yet lacks depth

    henderson was incredibly funny in the loner- holdeny kind of way. yet I excpected more mystery and suspence instead of sluty girls.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 28, 2006

    Hilarious

    Tom Henderson, the hero of King Dork, is someone you know. He's that kid. He doesn't talk much, but when he does, he shows you that he knows a lot about the stuff he cares about, and that he has the social skills of an alley cat. He's charming, tender-hearted, neurotic, sweet, sad, and a burgeoning musical genius. You will be glad you spent time with him, and he will stay with you long after you have finished giggling your way through King Dork.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 9, 2009

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted August 9, 2010

    No text was provided for this review.

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