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Kissing Outside the Lines: A True Story of Love and Race and Happily Ever After

Kissing Outside the Lines: A True Story of Love and Race and Happily Ever After

4.6 34
by Diane Farr

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Diane Farr—Numb3rs star, Loveline veteran, and FunnyorDie.com contributor—always took for granted that she could love anybody she chose. But when she, a white woman, fell in love with a Korean-American man, she quickly learned a tough lesson: When it comes to navigating the landscape of interracial love in America today . . .


Diane Farr—Numb3rs star, Loveline veteran, and FunnyorDie.com contributor—always took for granted that she could love anybody she chose. But when she, a white woman, fell in love with a Korean-American man, she quickly learned a tough lesson: When it comes to navigating the landscape of interracial love in America today . . . you’re going to step on some landmines. At turns introspective and outrageous, Kissing Outside the Lines is Farr’s unapologetic—often hilarious—look at the complexities of interracial/ethnic/religious/what-have-you love, told through the lens of her own experience of dating, marrying, and creating a family with someone from a race and culture different from her own. Along the way, she exposes the many ways in which prejudice rears its ugly head—whether subtly or overtly—when you dare to love “outside the lines,” and she shares the stories of other multiracial couples from different corners of the U.S. who have made a similar leap. With sharp wit and deft humor, Farr confronts the fears and reservations that come with loving outside of one’s race, and she emerges with a powerful message: Love is love and family is family—no matter what it looks like from the outside.

Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly
Our alleged post-racial society isn't all it's supposed to be. That's what author and actress Diane Farr discovered when she fell in love with a Korean-American man whose parents didn't want him to marry outside his culture. Her now-husband's parents had wanted him to marry a Korean, not simply because of ethnicity, but also to keep cultural traditions alive. In this breezily humorous but heartfelt account, she traces her romantic journey from first meeting to altar and navigates the often confusing terrain that many couples of different races, religions, and cultures still face in 21st-century America. She explores the rationale behind what she deems a double standard: families that would never tell children not to associate with friends, neighbors, and colleagues of different races and backgrounds still consider some people off-limits when it comes to marriage. If a few of Farr's own problems don't seem terribly dire (her husband's aunts and uncles shunned her, but both of their immediate families were accepting), the troubles faced by some of the other five couples she profiles are painful tales of parental rejection and manipulation. Farr learns that can't please everyone-sound advice for any bride-to-be.
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From the Publisher
“As a journalist I found the reach of Diane's book inspiring and important, but as a wife to someone of a different ethnic background—it was like therapy with laughter. A must-read for all Americans.”
—Lisa Ling, Oprah correspondent and author of Somewhere Inside

“Just because genetic admixture enhances the health of a population doesn't mean it is easy for the human beings who choose to build mixed families to create a sane healthy environment for the children of these unions who themselves must venture in to a world colored by the ancient cultural values of their parents' families and the prejudices of the present day. Diane Farr creates a smart, fun but unblemished look at this reality from the perspective of a woman who has been one of these courageous souls and lives this challenge daily.”
—Dr. Drew Pinsky, MD, Celebrity Rehab

“Farr has three kids and still found time to write a pee-yourself funny examination of inter-racial love. I hate her.”
—Julie Bowen, actress, Modern Family

Product Details

Da Capo Press
Publication date:
Product dimensions:
6.30(w) x 9.10(h) x 1.10(d)

Meet the Author

Diane Farr is a television actress, TV and magazine writer, nationally syndicated columnist, and the author of The Girl Code. She is the female lead on CBS’s most-watched Friday night drama, Numb3rs, starred on the critically acclaimed FX series Rescue Me, and played a supporting role on Showtime's Californication in its third season; and she contributes to Glamour, Esquire, GQ, Cosmopolitan, Marie Claire, Jane, Parents, Los Angeles, Gotham, Self, and O magazine.

Farr lives in Los Angeles, CA with her husband and three children.

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Kissing Outside the Lines: A True Story of Love and Race and Happily Ever After 4.6 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 34 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
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Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Diane Farr is great. This is a great look at interracial relationships. I would have to say that America has come a long way, however there will be racists and critics everywhere of race and relationships. We need to see not color but the content of character Also, we need to be good to one another.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I am also a korean married to a norweigian girl. There are thousands of episodes happening everyday around the house... some are funny and some comes with volcano. But love always covers the bad ones in the end. I have become a fan of Diane!!!"
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
luvtotravel More than 1 year ago
I finished this book this weekend while at my college weekend reunion/get together and I love love loved it! So insightful, but funny and heartbreaking at the same time so I'd laugh out loud and then have to grab a tissue all on the same page (granted I'm more hormonal than most while breast feeding but point is) this sister knows how to write. I am now sending a few copies to my college girlfriends as we had more than a few heart to hearts on the premise of the book since a couple of the women married outside their race. anyway, wanted to tell everyone I could the author is brilliant (and I love her on Numb3rs!!) and I loved the book and women I know and love are spreading the word and talking about the subject as most everyone can relate on some level. And it just is a feel good read on so many levels!
whoop More than 1 year ago
A friend recommended this book to me and, I admit, I was a little skeptical at first. I thought it was going to be too serious, too corny, or both. But I was intrigued by the topic, being in an interracial relationship myself. And I have to say, this is the best book I've read in a while! Diane's writing is so captivating and entertaining! I almost can't decide if I like her more as an actress or writer! Anyway, since I have read this book I have recommended it to more of my friends and anyone who's read it seemed to agree that Diane's eye-opening story is a MUST-read in today's society! Two thumbs up from me!
MeAndTee More than 1 year ago
Diane is one smart and funny woman! I found her story immensely entertaining and enlightening! I have been a fan of her acting for a while, but she is also an amazing author and story-teller! I believe that many people can relate to some of the situations she has been going through and that she talks about in this book. You would think interracial dating/marriage is nothing out of the ordinary, nowadays. But her book is proof that that is not quite yet the case. Far from being all too serious about it, though, Kissing Outside The Lines carries you through her difficulties and experiences with such great charm and humor! I would actually recommend this book to anyone that's ever been in any type of romantic relationship!
Sharkpark More than 1 year ago
SOOOOO FUNNY!!! I'm in an interracial relationship myself (and also korean) and i DEFFFFFFFFINITELY relate to a LOT of stories in this book! It's kind of sad when you think about the fact that, in these times, interracial dating is still a relatively touchy subject and disturbing to some people (some more than others). However, the way Diane Farr presents this topic in her book is not only educational, but HUGELY entertaining!! I didn't know she was such a funny person... I almost peed my pants at some parts while I was reading this book - that's how funny she is! I don't wanna spoil too much, though. Usually dont recommend books often buuuttttt... You have to read and enjoy it for yourself! :) SERIOUSLLLYYYYYY
kylepd More than 1 year ago
This book really opened my eyes about the fact that we are still not "post-racial" in America. I, myself am in an interracial relationship, and I have a lot of friends that are too, and while this seems generally more common and accepted nowadays, Diane's book and my friends' stories are proof that there still are quite a lot of issues and hurdles that these couples have to overcome. I give Diane a lot of props for shining light on this topic and doing it in such an entertaining and humorous way, though! This book is a great read, whether you are or are not in an interracial relationship!
jenJF More than 1 year ago
This book is everything a memoir is supposed to be- honest, open and effacing.It's also like a history lesson of conversations between parents and children in the 1970's and 80's. What an added bonus to learn so much about other cultures, all wrapped up in a story about America. It was vey thought provoking and I loved the extra couple added in. The funny and sad mixed together really draws you in.
Brenda213 More than 1 year ago
As the product of a happy and healthy mixed race marriage, I thoroughly enjoyed this story and appreciate all Diane Farr and all the people in her book had to say. I think it is really important to teach acceptance and for people to be aware that their words can be really hurtful to others and words can't be taken back! This book brings so much humor and honesty to the subject or mixed race marriage in America and I am so glad it exists
ColinP More than 1 year ago
Farr's memoir is so much better than most because it's not just about her. Yes her story is interesting but I usually find memoir's too self-indulgent and I am bored and annoyed by female writers rattling on about themselves. Yet this actress turned author took the focus off herself enough to cover the whole playing field of bi-racial couples in America. It's very funny and very fast and every time I might have had enough about one story or another, there were more people to sink my teeth into. I read it in two sittings and I recommend it.
jameykool More than 1 year ago
In Diane Farr's second book (her first has the same humor but not the same narrative or substance) a fully matured writer is revealed, who has tackled one of the hardest conversations our country has been asked to have. Farr begins with her own journey as a Caucasian woman dating an Asian man, who has been told he is not allowed to marry her. She takes us on their journey from the first date to their eventual marriage and introduces us along the way to six other couples in similar straights. The weaving of the stories alone is a feat, but the humanity and the humor Farr brings to all people discussed is wonderful. She extends graciousness to even the parents of the disenting families, creating room for growth and forgiveness even in the readers hearts. Thus creating room for growth and change in the hearts of Americans everywhere. Well done.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
MekoYohannes More than 1 year ago
I love this actress and I bought her book thinking it was a Hollywood tell all thing. There is a little Hollywood in there but it's such a real story, about real people and so inspiring to hear how she overcame things I was also told at home. But will she ever come back to Hank Moody is what I really want to know.
TheReader11 More than 1 year ago
I just finished Farr's book and I both loved the humor and found it so helpful to my soul. I just finished a mixed-race relationship that did not work for all the reasons she talks about and for so many of the reasons all the other people in her book say. I found myself tearing up more than once but I also laughed at Farr and myself. I once read an article by her in a magazine years ago after her boyfriend dumped her on the alter and she has the same voice. So honest, so self-derpriciating it forces you to look at yourself and in this case the world around you.
MsMarshaBrady More than 1 year ago
My cousin sent me this book because she worked with Diane Farr in the entertainment field and because I dated a Japanese man for two years who did not introduce me to his family!! I eventually broke up with this man, even though he denied that his parents had a problem with me not being Asian/being African-American and two years later he finally admitted he had the same conversations in his home that Diane talks about in the book. The book was both so hard and so joyful for me to read. To know I was not crazy for all the feelings I had and to know I was not alone and to know that someone had literally wrote a playbook on how to deal with this stuff! Diane's book is a wonderful read, that is so needed for our generation (I'm 26) if we want to do things differently in the future. I love this book and can't recommend it high enough. It's a perfect ten.
DJWillieShakes More than 1 year ago
I saw Diane Farr on The View talking about her marriage and it was so funny I bought this book and it did not disappoint. She is a funny woman with a big giant brain. I loved every story she had to tell.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I think the best stories are always told with humor and this book feels like you are sitting at Diane Farr's kitchen table and getting it right from her. This book was given to me or I never would have believed it was fun and a good read. Race in America has a long way to go - even for flaming liberals. Good work Diane
MissyE213 More than 1 year ago
This book will make you silent in realizing profound and great wisdom before making you blurt out sudden laughter upon reading the very next page. Everything that a full human life has...it is all here: the rough, tough, and heart-breaking mixed alongside the soaring, transcending heights of love.