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The Language of Letting Go

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Overview

Melody Beattie integrates her own life experiences and fundamental recovery reflections in this unique daily meditation book written especially for those of us who struggle with the issue of codependency.

Problems are made to be solved, Melody reminds us, and the best thing we can do is take responsibility for our own pain and self-care. In this daily inspirational book, Melody provides us with a thought to guide us through the day and she ...

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The Language of Letting Go: Hazelden Meditation Series

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Overview

Melody Beattie integrates her own life experiences and fundamental recovery reflections in this unique daily meditation book written especially for those of us who struggle with the issue of codependency.

Problems are made to be solved, Melody reminds us, and the best thing we can do is take responsibility for our own pain and self-care. In this daily inspirational book, Melody provides us with a thought to guide us through the day and she encourages us to remember that each day is an opportunity for growth and renewal.

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780894866371
  • Publisher: Hazelden Publishing
  • Publication date: 6/28/1990
  • Series: Hazelden Meditations Series
  • Pages: 408
  • Sales rank: 15,249
  • Product dimensions: 6.72 (w) x 7.28 (h) x 0.91 (d)

Meet the Author

Beattie was a struggling single parent of two children, freelance author, and journalist cranking out stories for a small-town daily newspaper in 1986 when she came up with a book idea. She wanted to write a book about what happens to people when they love someone who is addicted to alcohol and other drugs. "There were many books out there about how to help an addict or alcoholic. Nobody was talking about how an addict impacts the lives of the people around him or her, and how crazy you can become when you love someone who is addicted," Beattie said. "Even though I was sober, I didn't know how crazy I could get until it happened to me." Twenty publishers turned down Beattie's book proposal. "It's a good idea, but we don't think there's that many codependents out there," they wrote back. Hazelden, however, a treatment center and recovery publisher based in Minnesota, saw a need for the book. The publisher understood how families of alcoholics suffer and believed Beattie's book idea would help people. Beattie marched to the welfare department, asked for enough financial help to make it through the three months it would take her to write the book, then locked herself in a basement office and cranked out Codependent No More. Codependent No More has now sold 3.5 million copies. Beattie has since written nine more books, five for major publishing houses on the east and west coasts. She relocated from Minnesota to California, and she has long-since paid back the welfare department. Beattie has appeared in the pages of Newsweek and People and has been a regular guest on Geraldo and Oprah. Playing It By Heart is Beattie's first original book for Hazelden since 1990; the book is a return to her recovery roots that first brought her national recognition.
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Read an Excerpt

The Language of Letting Go

Melody Beattie


January 1
The New Year

Make New Year's goals. Dig within, and discover what you would like to have happen in your life this year. This helps you do your part. It is an affirmation that you're interested in fully living life in the year to come.

Goals give us direction. They put a powerful force into play on a universal, conscious, and subconscious level.
Goals give our life direction.

What would you like to have happen in your life this year? What would you like to do, to accomplish? What good would you like to attract into your life? What particular areas of growth would you like to have happen to you? What blocks, or character defects, would you like to have removed?

What would you like to attain? Little things and big things? Where would you like to go? What would you like to have happen in friendship and love? What would you like to have happen in your family life?

Remember, we aren't controlling others with our goals—we are trying to give direction to our life.
What problems would you like to see solved? What decisions would you like to make? What would you like to happen in your career?

What would you like to see happen inside and around you?

Write it down. Take a piece of paper, a few hours of your time, and write it all down—as an affirmation of you, your life, and your ability to choose. Then let it go.

Certainly, things happen that are out of our control. Sometimes, these events are pleasant surprises; sometimes, they are of another nature. But they are all part of the chapter that will be this year in our life and will lead us forward in the story.

The new year stands before us, like a chapter in a book, waiting to be written. We can help write that story by setting goals.

Today, I will remember that there is a powerful force motivated by writing down goals. I will do that now, for the year to come, and regularly as needed. I will do it not to control but to do my part in living my life.

January 2
Healthy Limits

Boundaries are vital to recovery. Having and setting healthy limits is connected to all phases of recovery: growing in self-esteem, dealing with feelings, and learning to really love and value ourselves.

Boundaries emerge from deep within. They are connected to letting go of guilt and shame, and to changing our beliefs about what we deserve. As our thinking about this becomes clearer, so will our boundaries.

Boundaries are also connected to a Higher Timing than our own. We'll set a limit when we're ready, and not a moment before. So will others.

There's something magical about reaching that point of becoming ready to set a limit. We know we mean what we say; others take us seriously too. Things change, not because we're controlling others, but because we've changed.

Today I will trust that I will learn, grow, and set the limits I need in my life at my own pace. This timing need only be right for me.

January 3
Nurturing Self-Care

. . . there isn't a guidebook for setting boundaries. Each of us has our own guide inside ourselves. If we continue to work at recovery, our boundaries will develop. They will get healthy and sensitive. Our selves will tell us what we need to know, and we'll love ourselves enough to listen.
Beyond Codependency

What do we need to do to take care of ourselves?

Listen to that voice inside. What makes you angry? What have you had enough of? What don't you trust? What doesn't feel right? What can't you stand? What makes you uncomfortable? What do you want? Need? What don't you want and need? What do you like? What would feel good?

In recovery, we learn that self-care leads us on the path to God's will and plan for our life. Self-care never leads away from our highest good; it leads toward it.
Learn to nurture that voice inside. We can trust ourselves. We can take care of ourselves. We are wiser than we think. Our guide is within, ever-present. Listen to, trust, and nurture that guide.


Today, I will affirm that I am a gift to myself and the Universe. I will remember that nurturing self-care delivers that gift in its highest form.

©2008. All rights reserved. Reprinted from The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, without the written permission of the publisher. Publisher: Hazelden Publishing, PO Box 176 , Center City, MN 55012-0176.

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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4.5
( 96 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star

(59)

4 Star

(15)

3 Star

(17)

2 Star

(4)

1 Star

(1)

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See All Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 97 Customer Reviews
  • Posted October 5, 2009

    more from this reviewer

    I keep buying it and giving it away

    This is a book of daily affirmations, but I found it to be much more helpful than the typical Stuart Smalley "You're good enough, you're smart enough..." tripe. It is aimed at people in codependent relationships but speaks profoundly to anyone with low self-esteem. There have been days when I thought the author was speaking directly to me -- that's how meaningful I have found it to be. You can open it anywhere and find something relevant.
    Since it is always in the bargain bin, I buy it over and over and give it to people I love who are struggling to be happier. Do yourself a favor and buy it.

    9 out of 10 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted December 19, 2009

    more from this reviewer

    words of wisdom !

    i was intorduced to this book a few years ago , i have passed it along to so many people i meet once again i find myself without a copy . for thanksgiving this year i bought the book for all of my family members , there is something for everyone !

    5 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted July 4, 2009

    more from this reviewer

    I Also Recommend:

    The Language Of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

    This book was recommended to me by an aquaintance. I originally purchased this book for a friend though I didn't give it to her because she purchased her own. I am about to give it to someone else. I feel people who find themselves feeling weak or unable to control their own destiny's should sit with this book to give them strength to move forward. It helped me to give this to someone who was in need of just that. Never rain on your own parade stand up and take control and release the people or things in your life that are pulling you down. If they are a very heavy weight why should they be your anchor? I call these people or things psychological and emotional vampires. They drain you of your own strength for their needs. In the words of a great lady named Ann Landers "No one can take advantage of you without your permission." I believe this to the truth and have lived by those words for many years. Gain strength starting with this book and others she has written. Melody Beattie was there and she speaks for many that are now in the same position. Melody offers a great deal of knowledge. Let her help you to grow stronger. Good Luck and Best Wishes to you.

    4 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted September 12, 2009

    Great book

    This book was very highly recommended to me by a dear friend. It is absolutely an inspiration to me......I have even given this book as a gift to family and friends because it is so good. I use this book as sort of a "Good morning God" book and it helps me to be inspired throughout the day.......very specific........easy read......but full of wisdom!

    3 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted September 7, 2012

    HIGHLY RECOMMEND!!

    I was handed this book my first day of sobriety from Alcohol and Drugs. I have read it everyday since for the past 8.5 years. I now own a sober living home for women and we read this book every morning at our Daily Meeting. This book and the tools it offers have literally saved my sanity!! I have learned to be direct, to not take ownership of other peoples "stuff", to take care of me...the list goes on and on and on!!! This is a fantastic tool...an absolute MUST...if you suffer from co-dependency, low self esteem, or the inability to know or speak your truth! Get it, Read it, practice the tools...everyday...your life and relationships will change!!

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted September 14, 2009

    For all who struggle with Codependency

    Melogy Beattie describes the problem of codependacy so accurate word for word of what it's like to have this issue. I would highly recommend this daily book of meditations to help you on your recovery from Codependency, its a day by day journey toward freedom. I thank her for all her books. She is truly an expert on this topic.

    2 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted June 14, 2013

    A Must Have For Survivors of Abuse

    An amazing book that walks you through the healing process. You can read it daily because it is set up for each day in every month or you can look up topics in the back.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted July 27, 2011

    Liberating!!!!

    This book helped me so much through a difficult marriage and divorce. It helped me think about myself and realize that i did indeed have a right to be happy on my own. Gave me the strength to stand up for myself and enjoy life! I bught a copy for my friend.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted July 16, 2014

    This book can really help in all aspects of life, not just codep

    This book can really help in all aspects of life, not just codependency or addiction. Everything time I read it I feel empowered, at peace or leading down the path to peace, and reminded that  I control my own outcome. That happiness lies within me and not others. That it is okay to "be human" and feel things and to face things and just deal with them. VERY DIRECT, NOT CHEESY AND JUST SPEAKS TO YOU ON ALL LEVELS. ( a big kick in the butt I LOVE IT) 

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted June 17, 2014

    I Also Recommend:

    Even though I am an atheist, I am aware of the notion of cause a

    Even though I am an atheist, I am aware of the notion of cause and effect, and of the fact that, in general, if you always try to do good in your life, then you will always like yourself. You will have integrity. At the time I read this book I was a religious person, but even now that I am not, I would still recommend it because of its insistence on self-love and self-respect.

    This book emphasizes the notion that people are not to allow themselves to be used because both the victim and the user are degraded by the experience.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted September 21, 2013

    Daily Read

    This is a must read every day...insight into all our thoughts, feelings & expectations and how to deal with them and those people who test us.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 2, 2013

    Recommended

    Excellent short daily readings on ways in improve your attitude towards life. Not pedantic.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted March 9, 2013

    This is one of my favorite daily reads. My 1990 edition was com

    This is one of my favorite daily reads. My 1990 edition was coming apart because I have been reading it every day, even taking it with me when I travel, so I was happy to find an eBook version for my new Nook that I received for my birthday the end of last year. I have my older paperback safely stored in a door while I enjoy the convenience of reading this on my Nook.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 11, 2013

    Highly Recommend

    Melody Beatties book has been very helpful and inspiring me in changing my thought pattern and the emotions as I am going through a trying and emotional time this stage in my life. Overseeing the care of my elderly parents, whom all there lives have been difficult to deal with. Im also comforted that Melody includes God in this resd. Reading this book can benefit us with our battles and stages of our lives. Thank You Melody!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 22, 2011

    allowed me to exhale!

    Just started reading this book and already feel a sense of relief and peace.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted August 24, 2010

    I Also Recommend:

    Emerging into a healthier life.

    Perhaps it is my perspective; but I do not subscribe to the concept of co-dependency. We are all each of us interdependent on one another, with our society, and our ecosystem. What is beneficial about this book however is its curriculum of surrender, loving oneself without vanity, establishing healthy boundaries and behaviors, having patience with oneself, and removing the need to manipulate environment or other people. It engenders a high respect for free-will. It does not promote a specific spiritual or religious path yet remains spiritual none-the less.

    This book was profound when I first bought it, over the years it is not as earth shattering, but still a nice refresher and a means of centering when off balance.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted May 25, 2010

    I Also Recommend:

    Let Go And Let God

    This book is one of those books that everyone who is having a hard time of letting go and moving on with their lives. It is one of those books that you read and you can actually agree with.

    For anyone who feels bound by their anger, guilt, hurt or pain, I also recommend "When God Stopped Keeping Score." I thought that the book was just about forgiveness, I soon learned, it was about so much more than that. I was about how you should deal with friends, family and yourself and more importantly, how to keep these relationships strong when things go wrong. Having read it, I feel like a better person. Maybe because this book spoke to me and not down to me. I have read a lot of books that was written like I didn't know anything. What the author of "When God Stopped Keeping Score" does is talk to you like a friend. I needed that. You will understand why when you read it.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 7, 2010

    AMAZING

    this is read every morning before I start my day. Amazing insight, and different ways to think about life. Recommended to everyone who is looking for something inspirational to start their day.

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  • Posted November 11, 2009

    The Best

    I buy alot of books, from several different websites...Barnes and Noble are the best. My orders come quickly and without damage. Other places I buy from don't pack well and use slower shipping...I don't like to pay extra unless I need it right away, and then I go to the store. Barnes and Noble has the best Customer Service and I continue to do business with them. You won't be sorry. No hassle returns. This book I bought is by my favorite author and I bought these at 1/3 the price as gifts. Awesome deal.

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  • Posted August 22, 2009

    I Also Recommend:

    I like the headline - although the art work makes is look as though the book is just for women. It's not just for women. Many recovering men and women both, including myself use this as a daily meditation source.

    I love this book as a recovery tool. I've used it as a daily meditation now for nine years and always pick up something fresh. I've given the book to at least 10 other men and women who have co-dependency issues. I highly recommend it.

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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