Anonymous
Posted August 26, 2008
Leadership and Self-Deception helps you understand how your actions both directly and indirectly affect others. It certainly made me aware of how much impact something can have on your life and the lives of others, and I was able to see how I can improve my everyday life both personally and professionally for the better. This book goes to core of what it means to live in a world so consumed with ego and self-promotion that many times we are more concerned about how we appear today rather than what impact our appearances, actions and aspirations will have on ourselves.
4 out of 4 people found this review helpful.
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Posted November 20, 2002
A book that finds it's reader compelled to improve in every aspect of their life. This is not just a book that tells a story, but a book that brings life to the forefront and then tells you how to deal with it. REALLY DEAL WITH IT!
3 out of 3 people found this review helpful.
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Posted February 27, 2004
It took only one night to read and I could see where I was and was not 'in the box'. A powerful idea expressed with such simplicity--should be required reading for all leaders and the people they lead.
2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.
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Posted April 27, 2003
I couldn't put it down and neither could my wife. We both read it in a day. The insight is remarkable and I'll never be the same after having read this book.
2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.
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Posted June 8, 2000
While I have been acquainted with the Arbinger material for 20 years, this book walked me back through many instances in my life when my heart has not been right with others. When I first learned this material, I was startled to discover the part I played with the 'problem' people in my life. I liked it better when I thought I was innocent. The most helpful aspect of the book's material was that it was presented in a way such that I didn't feel to defend myself. Instead, I felt to be completely honest with myself. The material has been encouraging and unsettling at the same time. I learned that I could improve myself and my relationships with others, but also that I had much to improve and repair. The thing I feared most, complete honesty, not just an accurate report of my self-deceived emotions, has turned out to be the most freeing experience. P.S. Twenty years ago I had a lot of bad days with only a few good moments. Now I have a lot of good days with only a few bad moments. Thank you again.
2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.
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Posted August 1, 2009
Applicable to every kind of relationship, but absolutely critical reading for every business, whether just starting out, or far along the continuum of its life cycle. Will be life changing for every reader who approaches the concepts put forth in this book with an open mind,an intensive search of the heart, and an honest look in the mirror.
1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.
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Posted June 9, 2000
This is a superb book that presents some life-changing concepts and principles in an easy-to-read novel format. As a therapist, I've been looking for a way to share with clients and co-workers the principles in this book without 'boring' them with psychobabel. This book is truly as applicable to individuals, couples, and families as it is to companies. It's one of the five top books on my 'Have to Read' list.
1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.
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Posted June 13, 2013
English Comp 102
Kyla Hammond
12 June 2013
Leadership & Self Deception
The main character is Tom Callum, a new senior manager for Zagrum Company. It took him eight interviews, three-weeks of silence and self doubt before he was actually hired. Tom is about to be introduced
to the Zagrum ritual for all senior management, a day-long, one-on-one meeting with the executive vice president, Bud Jefferson.
Tom, desperate to find out what the meeting will contain, tried gathering information from his colleagues, however their explanations confused him. They mentioned a discovery that solves “people problems,” how no one focuses on results, and that something about the “Bud Meeting” as it was called, led to the company’s success.
In the past month, Tom was always the first to arrive and the last to leave. He was making a point to outwork and outshine every coworker who might compete for promotion in the coming years. He was ready to meet Bud Jefferson.
Arriving in the main lobby of the third floor, he was greeted by Bud’s secretary, Maria. “You must be Tom Callum,” she said with enthusiasm. “Yes thank you, I have an appointment with Bud at 9:00”. He was asked to wait in the East View Room.
A minute or so later, a brief knock on the door and in walks Bud. They greet and shake hands. Tom sits across anxiously awaiting for Bud to start the meeting. Bud immediately opens up with letting Tom know he has a problem, a problem he had to solve if he was to remain with Zagrum. This knocked Tom off balance. Bud informed him that he was self-deceived. Bud told Tom that he was “In the box,” (pg 3) which refers to when people see others as the source of the problem. People who are “In the Box” view themselves as center of the world and others as objects. This type of behavior demotivates colleagues and causes friction and fault-finding.
Throughout the interview, Bud teaches Tom a variety of tools to be able to detect and overcome these obstacles by learning how to keep him “out of the box” Out of the box thinking requires the person to see others as people, not as obstacles or competition. They can see others and understand their feeling, hopes, and needs. This behavior motivates the people that work for Zagrum.
The point Bud was trying to make is that people can always tell when they are being manipulated or outsmarted. People skills take work and they are necessary because your peers can tell if you are sincere. Your sincerity makes it possible to deliver the hard messages, and still be an “out your box” leader. Instead of focusing on what people are doing wrong, focus on how you can help them improve so you can work together toward a better solution.
Of all of the problems in organizations today, self-deception is the most common and most damaging. Bud has these interviews to prevent Zagrum’s leaders’ from creating these problems and to improve teamwork and morale throughout the organization. Self-aware leaders make for a happier work environment.
References
Arbinger Institute (2000). Leadership & Self Deception
farmmom
Posted March 1, 2013
This book is founded on lifelong principles presented in a fresh new way.....positive reinforcement!
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Posted July 21, 2012
This should be required reading in high school and college. There is so much content but it is not too lofty or theoretical. Very helpful. Will be reading more than once!
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Posted March 16, 2012
This book was very well written, I couldn't put it down and I despise reading. This book has opened my eyes to some of the faults I have as a leader in business as well as the leader of my family. I highly recommend this book to anyone. I will be reading this book yearly.
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Posted September 14, 2011
This is one of the best books that I have read in a while. I just finished "The Anatomy of Peace". AWESOME!
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.seashellsnp
Posted September 8, 2011
Easy read! Applicable in many situations...although it was a reqired book for my class, I enjoyed it and will use the knowledge gained in my work and personal life!
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.abundantdoc
Posted August 4, 2011
I have read this book several times. I just finished going through it with my master mind team and now I am taking my staff at my Chiropractic clinic through this book as well. It is a fantastic look at what makes us tick, when we are in it and how to get out of it if it isn't working for us. I love this book and will read it again and again.
Dr. McFarland
RYK
Posted March 31, 2011
I Also Recommend:
Amazing! The Arbinger Institute's Leadership and Self-Deception has changed the way I view myself, those around me, and my general outlook on the future. Not only have I been inspired to be a better person, I have learned how I can become better; and in so doing I can inspire others around me to be their best selves. Leadership and Self-Deception tells of an inspiring story about a man, Tom Callum, that is consumed within himself and has tendencies to blame others for everything negative that happens in his life. Tom finds himself with a new company, Zagrum, at a very high level of management, and in desperate need of an attitude adjustment if he plans on staying there. The current executive vice president of the company, Bud Jefferson, is given the task of introducing Tom to the reason the Zagrum is so successful, it is known as the "Self-deception and the box" theory. The book takes us through a two day training where Tom experiences, not only a change in behavior or attitude, but a complete change of heart. This change of heart comes as a result of Tom learning that there are two ways of thinking and behaving, in the box or out of the box. ".success in an organization is a function of whether we're in the box or not and our influence as a leader depends on the same thing." As Tom learns the process of what the box is, how to get out of it, and how to stay out of it his personal and work life is changed. His nature is altered to view others as people not merely as objects used in achieving a goal. By the end of the book Tom is viewing his family and co-workers in a completely new and optimistic light, something which we all desire to have! Throughout the entire book I found that I was placing myself in Tom's shoes; it enabled me to become involved with the story, rather than feeling like a spectator on the sidelines watching it all take place. As Tom changed throughout the story I found that I too was changing along with him. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book and highly recommend it to anyone who is seeking to have a better understanding of who they are now and what they can become in the future. Leadership and Self-Deception is a priceless read for those of all ages seeking to better themselves and their relationship with others!
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.Anonymous
Posted September 15, 2010
I really enjoyed this book. It was presented in a thoughtful manner that made it easy to understand and easy to apply into real-life situations. Many of the questions asked by the characters in the book were questions I had as the story moved along, so it was nice to have those answered in the course of the book.
My only complaint: I wanted to know how the business used the principles to measure results! Guess I have to read the next book now.
My Dear Hubby said he knew he would marry Mrs. Right one day, but he did not know her first name would be Always. Well, he does say that joking but for a reason. I am very OCD and quite logical. Sorta a logical in a Mr. Spock kinda way. And even though it really helps me stay on track there is a backlash. You see I am a problem solver. Type A personality too! And in doing the things that come natural to me I tend to micro-manage too much. Then, of course, I become overwhelmed.
I am now reading "Leadership and Self-Deception: Getting Out of the Box" (the 2nd edition) and am finding a few answers. Even though I do not work outside of the home nor in management, I find that there is many work principals that we use at home. I like learning how I can stop falling into the same traps and boxes. Where I do not use self-justification to get things done my way. Instead looking to see what truly will be best for the whole of the home. So, maybe? I can learn to be a lil calmer and still be that rational person. And dang it....I like being Mrs. Always Right anyway.
This is one of the two most important books in my library. It changed my outlook on life and brought new clarity in viewing my prolems in life. I use it in supporting and encouraging other people and I recommend it for everybody who needs answers for what is wrong and what to do about relationship issues.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.Through a story, the book leads you to take an objective look in the mirror and determine if you are guilty of self-deception.
Most of us engage in some level of self-deception; this book helps you penetrate it and dismantle it, as painful as that may be for some of us.
I gave this book to several people including co-workers, boss, and family. Several people (including me) were moved to tears by the depth of the insights we got about our selves and our lives.
It's a life changing book, what you get out of it can be applied to work and other life relationships.
Anonymous
Posted August 15, 2009
When I started reading this book I thought that it was going to be just like any other self help book, but it wasn't. The author created a fictional company and led me into undertanding how self-deception can impact your family and work relationships. I have read this book several times now and am truly opened to trying to change. My relationships with my family and freinds has been positively impacted. People I meet seem to now be genuinely interested in me and this never would have happened if I had not read this book.
I have acquired 4 of these books for my family and one coworker.
More About This Textbook
Overview
Since Its Original Publication in 2000, Leadership and Self-Deception has become a word-of-mouth phenomenon. Its sales continue to increase year after year, and the book's popularity has gone global, with editions now available in over twenty languages.
Through a story everyone can relate to about a man facing challenges on the job and in his family, the authors expose the fascinating ways that we can blind ourselves to our true motivations and unwittingly sabotage the effectiveness of our own efforts to achieve success and increase happiness.
This new edition has been revised throughout to make the story even more compelling. And drawing on the extensive correspondence the authors have received over the years, they have added a section that outlines the many ways that readers have been using Leadership and Self-Deception to improve their lives and workplaces-areas such as team building, conflict resolution, and personal growth and development, to name a few.
Read this extraordinary book and discover what millions already have learned-how to consistently tap into an innate ability that dramatically improves both your results and your relationships.
The Arbingers Institute helps organizations, families, individuals, and communities worldwide to correct the trouble created by the little-known but pervasive problem of self-deception. Arbinger is led internationally by founding partners James Ferrell, Duane Boyce, Paul Smith, and Terry Warner. Headquartered in the United States, Arbinger now has operations around the world, including throughout the Americas, Europe, Africa, the Middle East, India, Oceania, and Asia.
What People Are Saying
Stephen R. Covey
Stephen R. Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective PeopleI've known the work of the Arbinger Institute for years. Arbinger's ideas are profound, with deep and sweeping implications for organizations. Leadership and Self-Deception provides the perfect introduction to this material. It is engaging and fresh, easy to read, and packed with insight. I couldn't recommend it more highly.
Product Details
Related Subjects
Meet the Author
The Arbinger Institute helps organizations, families, individuals, and communities worldwide to correct the trouble created by the little-known but pervasive problem of self-deception. Arbinger is led internationally by founding partners James Ferrell, Duane Boyce, Paul Smith, and Terry Warner. Headquartered in the United States, Arbinger now has operations around the world, including throughout the Americas, Europe, Africa, the Middle East, India, Oceania, and Asia.
Table of Contents
Preface xi
Part I Self-Deception and the "Box"
1 Bud 3
2 A Problem 7
3 Self-Deception 11
4 The Problem beneath Other Problems 18
5 Beneath Effective Leadership 22
6 The Deep Choice That Determines Influence 32
7 People or Objects 42
8 Doubt 50
Part II How We Get In the Box
9 Kate 59
10 Questions 63
11 Self-Betrayal 66
12 Characteristics of Self-Betrayal 74
13 Life in the Box 83
14 Collusion 93
15 Box Focus 108
16 Box Problems 112
Part III How We Get Out of the Box
17 Lou 121
18 Leadership in the Box 125
19 Toward Being Out of the Box 130
20 Dead Ends 133
21 The Way Out 144
22 Leadership Out of the Box 155
23 Birth of a Leader 166
24 Another Chance 170
How to Use Leadership and Self-Deception 179
Share Your Story l91
Index 193