Many self-help books, particualrly those inspired by the co-dependency movement, treat all dependency as unhealthy and urge us to banish it from our lives. But, argues Solomon, people can be too independent, isolating themselves from meaningful relationships. Drawing on more than 20 years of experience as a Los Angeles-based marriage counselor, Solomon demonstrates how early childhood experiences may encourage the growth of unhealthy defenses, advises readers how to break them down, accelerating healing and positive dependency. In her view, the ultimate goal is interdependence-a balance betwen healthy dependency and autonomy-over independence. This is a self-help book whose time has come. Author tour. (Oct.)
Psychologist Solomon (Narcissism and Intimacy, Norton, 1988) espouses a refreshing attitude toward the healing power of positive, mutual dependence in intimate relationships. Arguing against the cultural ideal of independence and self-sufficiency, she presents a persuasive case that healthy dependence, so often confused with dysfunctional codependency, is in fact a hallmark of maturity. Solomon asserts that many of the emotional obstacles couples face are a result of unfulfilled dependency needs that are largely shaped by the "imprints" of relating to others we all form during infancy. Drawing upon her 20-plus years of experience as a marriage counselor, Solomon uses case histories to describe imprints for bonding, emotional sharing, bridging connections, and mature dependence. She also gives advice on how to meet a partner's dependency needs. Educational and informative, this counterpoint to the codependency movement will help reassure all that humans are not meant to be alone. Highly recommended for public libraries.-Dana L. Brumbelow, Auburn P.L., Ala.