Learning to Love: From Conflict to Lasting Harmony

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Most of us yearn for intimate relationship, believing it to be the path to happiness. Yet experience suggests that in the real world, harmonious relationships are rare. No sooner do we enter into intimate partnership than we are set adrift on an ocean of turbulent, often painful emotions. While these feelings may be inevitable, how we deal with them is not. The way we respond to negativity will determine whether it erodes love and trust or becomes the raw material for mutual ...
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Learning to Love: From Conflict to Lasting Harmony

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Overview

Most of us yearn for intimate relationship, believing it to be the path to happiness. Yet experience suggests that in the real world, harmonious relationships are rare. No sooner do we enter into intimate partnership than we are set adrift on an ocean of turbulent, often painful emotions. While these feelings may be inevitable, how we deal with them is not. The way we respond to negativity will determine whether it erodes love and trust or becomes the raw material for mutual compassion.

For nearly two decades, Don and Martha Rosenthal have helped couples of every description and at every stage of relationship to work productively with their difficulties. Learning to Love: From Conflict to Lasting Harmony summarizes the insights that have grown out of their highly successful couples workshops, as well as their own 35 years as committed partners.

Written in clear, accessible language. Learning to Love assists couples in finding and releasing the blockages to their love. It does this by directly confronting the central dilemma of relationship: how to allow the messy imperfection of our humanness-all our anger, pettiness, judgment, fear-to be present, while preserving an atmosphere of emotional safety in which all this can be experienced wdthout threat. A wealth of hands-on material helps couples work through typical impasses by questioning the voice of fear, releasing guilt, and-the supreme challenge-learning to open the heart when it wishes to close. This book is a rare combination of timeless wisdom and practical guidance. It addresses fundamental spiritual issues without being vague or simplistic, and the harshest realities of relationship without gloom or despair. Its uniquestrength is in showing couples how to use their inevitable conflict and difficulty as the means to a deeper intimacy. And by holding to the light the full range of our feelings, from our noblest impulses to our deepest confusions, it speaks compassionately to the human condition we all share.

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781402733802
  • Publisher: Sterling Publishing
  • Publication date: 3/28/2006
  • Pages: 256
  • Product dimensions: 5.70 (w) x 8.30 (h) x 1.10 (d)

Table of Contents


Foreword   Richard Borofsky, Ed.D.     13
Introduction     17
Working Together
What Goes Wrong     23
Openhearted Listening     43
Asking Your Partner for Change     70
Giving and Receiving     95
Avoiding Intimacy     110
Anger     123
The Role of Pain     143
Working on Yourself
Mindfulness     173
Energy Leaks and Discipline     185
Fear     204
Defenses and Guilt     219
Opening the Heart: The Greatest Challenge     237
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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 6, 2007

    A reviewer

    Many self-help books concentrate on how to handle conflict and eliminate pain from your relationships. Authors Don and Martha Rosenthal take a different approach. They don¿t deny that darker emotions, such as anger, pain and fear, create conflict in a relationship, but they encourage you to use these feelings as gateways to learning about yourself while creating deeper intimacy with your partner. They teach you how to view a problem as an opportunity to change the dynamics of your relationship. For those whose mental alarms start ringing at phrases like ¿spiritual path¿ and ¿connecting with your deepest truth,¿ don¿t worry. The Rosenthals¿ guidance is both practical and workable. We warmly recommend this inspirational book to those who want to build greater intimacy with their partners by opening up their hearts and minds.

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