Lemony Snicket: The Unauthorized Autobiography (PagePerfect NOOK Book) [NOOK Book]

Overview

A Warning from the Publisher: Many readers have questions about Lemony Snicket, author of the distressing serial concerning the trials of the charming but unlucky Baudelaire orphans, published under the collective title A Series of Unfortunate Events. Before purchasing, borrowing, or stealing this book, you...
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Lemony Snicket: The Unauthorized Autobiography (PagePerfect NOOK Book)

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Overview

A Warning from the Publisher: Many readers have questions about Lemony Snicket, author of the distressing serial concerning the trials of the charming but unlucky Baudelaire orphans, published under the collective title A Series of Unfortunate Events. Before purchasing, borrowing, or stealing this book, you should be aware that it contains the answers to some of those questions, such as the following:

1. Who is Lemony?

2. Is there a secret organization I should know about?

3. Why does Lemony Snicket spend his time researching and writing distressing books concerning the Baudelaire orphans?

4. Why do all of Lemony Snicket's books concerning a sad dedication to a woman named Beatrice?

5. If there's nothing out there, what was that noise?

Our advice to you is that you find a book that answers less upsetting questions than this one. Perhaps your librarian, bookseller, or parole officer can recommend a book that answers the question, "Aren't ponies adorable?"

The elusive author provides a glimpse into his mysterious and sometimes confusing life, using fanciful letters, diary entries, and other miscellaneous documents as well as photographs and illustrations.

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Editorial Reviews

From Barnes & Noble
The Barnes & Noble Review
Fans of elusive author Lemony Snicket know he's an addictive combination of Roald Dahl and Edgar Allan Poe. Now, in a wonderfully entertaining and "extremely dangerous" book called Lemony Snicket: The Unauthorized Autobiography, we get a peek inside the secret files of this mysterious man, a character whose identity and motives for telling the Baudelaire orphans' tales are just as cryptic as we'd imagined.

Beginning with the book's title, we know we're in for blissful secrecy. Readers are shown pieces of Daily Punctilio newspaper articles, diary notes, letters, movie scripts containing underground codes, meeting transcripts, telegrams, sheet music, photos, and more. They're all quite private and linked to Snicket -- except we're told that everything we read may or may not be true. Put simply, it all surrounds Snicket himself, the Baudelaire children, and Snicket's link to an underground organization called V.F.D., dedicated to recruiting new members and disguising their identities "in order to make sure the world remains, as we say, quiet." Throughout the "autobiography," we learn that any character could be a V.F.D. member in disguise (or even an enemy trying to foil V.F.D. objectives), and we're challenged to piece the story together ourselves.

In true Snicket form, the author's ambiguity is the name of the game. It's a brilliantly planned puzzle. Readers are lured into trying to figure out the true meaning of V.F.D. and why Snicket needs to tell the orphans' story, but do we ever really find out? That's what makes the book so appealing (or appalling). Truthfully, the author is probably off somewhere in disguise, keeping more files of his secret papers or corresponding with organization members. It's wonderful, though, when you're having this much fun. (Matt Warner)

Publishers Weekly
A certain maniacal glee went into the creation of this archly humorous volume. Beginning with the suggestion on the front flap of the dust jacket to disguise its dangerous contents (Make use of this book's reversible jacket immediately), readers will know they're in possession of something deliciously left of normal. The jacket reverses to display a hilarious parody of Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events covers, entitled The Pony Party! and featuring The Luckiest Kids in the World! by Loney M. Setnick. Meanwhile, the contents lead readers on a merry goose chase. The 13 (naturally) chapters burst with red herrings, non sequiturs, mysterious letters, diary entries and so on not to mention fading black-and-white photographs with captions such as Total strangers and W?H?O? The narrative makes for a most satisfying tease, larded with such Snicketisms as For various reasons, portions of this chapter have been changed or made up entirely, including this sentence. It would seem that Snicket's obituary from the highly unreliable Daily Punctilio (which is reproduced in the book) is premature, and that there will indeed be more installments about the Baudelaires, though nothing is certain in the end and readers are left nearly as in the dark about Snicket as they were at the start. Of course, this is all part of the fun, guaranteed to make the author's fans itch to get their hands on a copy of this devious romp masquerading as an autobiography. Ages 10-up. (May) Copyright 2002 Cahners Business Information.
Children's Literature
The official cover of this unauthorized autobiography is brown wrapping paper sealed with brown wrapping tape. The reader is warned that the book is extremely dangerous and told to make use of the book's reversible jacket full of sweetness, light and an erstwhile story about "The Pony Party." Even the official copyright notice is not what one expects¾"No part of this book may be used, reproduced, destroyed, tampered with, or eaten without permission except in the case of brief, possibly coded quotations embodied in critical articles, reviews and subpoenas." With all of its surprising twists and turns, this book feels like a roller coaster ride and leaves the reader a bit breathless and wanting more at the end. An index is included for those serious Snicket students. So many references are made to Mr. Snicket's earlier books that this is probably best read in conjunction with the adventures of the Baudelaire orphans. 2002, HarperCollins Children's Books/HarperCollins,
— Janet Crane Barley
School Library Journal
Gr 4-8 Beneath a simple, seductive Tyvek cover resembling manila and plain brown paper, snippets of Snicket's life appear in 13 chapters of notes, letters, newspaper clippings, songs, photos, telegrams, screenplay excerpts, steamship tickets, and meeting minutes. Daniel Handler prefaces the material. It is not stated who compiled this information, although there is a speculative tale of how it reached the publisher. Snicket begins with a letter about the inaccurate report of his death published in The Daily Punctilio and comments on a folk song detailing his abduction at a young age by the V.F.D. It is noted that all members of this organization were snatched at an early age, chronicled with black-and-white photographs. Subsequent documents from and about characters in "A Series of Unfortunate Events," such as Poe, Olaf, Esme, and others, may or may not reveal their connection to V.F.D., which is used as an acronym for many different organizations, events, and things. Allusion is made to a solid connection between the Snickets and Baudelaires; clearly they are in imminent danger and in need of the many disguise suggestions provided. The book's high-gloss pages have the look of a scrapbook with many gray pages reminiscent of early photocopies. References are made to Kafka, Fitzgerald, and children's authors. There is a circuitously cross-referenced index. Snicket fans will clamor for this intriguing parody of an autobiography/mystery. -Laura Scott, Baldwin Public Library, Birmingham, MI Copyright 2002 Cahners Business Information.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780062188083
  • Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
  • Publication date: 6/12/2012
  • Series: A Series of Unfortunate Events
  • Sold by: HARPERCOLLINS
  • Format: eBook
  • Pages: 240
  • Sales rank: 112,453
  • Age range: 10 years
  • File size: 26 MB
  • Note: This product may take a few minutes to download.

Meet the Author

Lemony Snicket

Lemony Snicket is often despondent, mostly about his published research, which includes A Series of Unfortunate Events and The Composer Is Dead.

Biography

As the saying goes, all good things must come to an end -- and, in the case of Lemony Snicket, all unfortunate things must come to an end, too. After seven years and thirteen episodes, the much beloved A Series of Unfortunate Events books are drawing to a close. At least, that's what Snicket's "handler" Daniel Handler says.

But before getting to what promises to be "the most unfortunate event of all," it is first necessary to familiarize oneself with the mysterious man who created a mega-selling series of children's novels pivoting on the premise of placing young people in peril. According to his autobiography Lemony Snicket: the Unauthorized Autobiography, Snicket "grew up near the sea and currently lives beneath it. To his horror and dismay, he has no wife or children, only enemies, associates, and the occasional loyal manservant. His trial has been delayed, so he is free to continue researching and recording the tragic tales of the Baudelaire orphans." Hmmm. Perhaps an autobiography purporting that it may or may not be true isn't the best place to begin.

Instead, let us focus on Daniel Handler, the man who might actually be responsible for composing the Series of Unfortunate Events books according to certain skeptics (which include Handler, himself). Daniel Handler has been asked many times why anyone would want to make a career of chronicling the ghastly trials of a trio of ill-fated orphans. "When I was young, my favorite stories were not the sort of children's books that are constantly being thrust at you when you're little," he explained in an audio essay on Barnes & Noble.com. "I didn't like books where people played on a sports team and won a bunch of games, or went to summer camp and had a wonderful time. I really liked a book where a witch might cut a child's head off or a pack of angry dogs might burst through a door and terrorize a family. So, I guess it should not be surprising that when I turned to children's literature I tried to think of all sorts of interesting things to happen to small children, and all of these things were pretty dreadful."

Handler has long made it clear that his wildly popular series would be limited to thirteen installments. The Penultimate Peril: Book the Twelfth finds the much-beleaguered Baudelaire orphans "enjoying" a family vacation at a menacing hotel, and Handler is wrapping up his saga with The End: Book the Thirteenth, which promises to tie up all remaining threads in the story in an undoubtedly exciting manner.

However, the conclusion of his series is no indication that Handler plans on bringing his writing career to an end. He has also written adult-targeted titles under his own name, including his latest, Adverbs: A Novel. This exploration of love, which Publishers Weekly deemed "lovely" and "lilting," may forgo the trademark Lemony Snicket wry morbidity, but Handler ensures readers that the book isn't without its own unfortunate events. "It's a fairly miserable story, as any story about love will be," he says. "People try to find love -- some of them find it, some of them don't, some of them have an unhappy time even if they do find it -- but it is considerably more cheerful than any of my so-called children's books."

Good To Know

Daniel Handler has a potentially embarrassing confession to make: he is an avowed accordion player. Handler says that when he told his parents about his decidedly uncool musical pursuits, they reacted "as if I had taken up heroin."

His interest in music does not end with the accordion. Close friend and leader of indie-rock band The Magnetic Fields Steven Merritt has written an original song for each audio book version of the Series of Unfortunate Events books. Merritt and Handler will be releasing a CD of all 13 "dreadful" songs when the final installment of the series is published in late 2006. Handler also lent his accordion-laying talents to The Magnetic Fields' critically acclaimed album 69 Love Songs.

Handler's persistence may rival that of the never-say-die Baudelaire orphans. His first novel, The Basic Eight, was rejected 37 times before it was finally published.

He enjoys the work of novelist Haruki Murakami so much that Handler devoted an entire essay to the subject in the plainly and guilelessly entitled Village Voice review, "I Love Murakami."

According to a former high school classmate writing in the local paper, Handler was "voted not only Class Clown, but also Best Actor, Chatterbox, and Teacher's Pet."

A few fun facts from our interview with Handler:

"I can cook anything."

"I know one very good card trick."

"I auditioned for an enormous role in the film Gigli."

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    1. Also Known As:
      In some parts, people get to know him through his handler, Daniel Handler.
    2. Hometown:
      Snicket is something of a nomad. Handler lives in San Francisco, California.
    1. Date of Birth:
      February 28, 1970
    2. Place of Birth:
      Handler was born in San Francisco in 1970, and says Snicket's family has roots in a land that's now underwater.
    1. Education:
      Handler is a 1992 graduate of Wesleyan University in Connecticut.
    2. Website:

Read an Excerpt

Chapter One

Why was Mr. Snicket's death published in the newspaper?

THE DAILY PUNCTILIO

“All the News in Fits of Print”
Obituary Page

Lemony Snicket, author of A Series of Unfortunate Events, the purportedly true chronicles of the Baudelaire children, was reported dead today by anonymous and possibly unreliable sources. His age was given as “tall, with brown eyes.” One of three children, he leaves no known survivors.

Born on a cattle farm rather than in a hospital, Snicket had a promising scholarly career in his youth, beginning with a job as a theatrical critic -- in all senses of the word -- for this very newspaper, followed by the publication of several promising anthropomorphic treatises, a word which here means “very long reports.” This period of professional contentment -- and, allegedly, unrequited love -- ended when news of his involvement with V.F.D. and the accompanying scandal was reported in this newspaper and at least one other.

Mr. Snicket became a fugitive from justice and was rarely seen in public, and then usually from the back. Several manhunts -- and, due to a typographical error, womanhunts -- proved fruitless. At last their story, and his, appear to be over.

As no one seems to know when, where, how, and why he died, there will be no funeral services. A burial may be scheduled later this year.

Note to file:

I have arrived early at the harbor and still have a few minutes before the Prospero is scheduled to appear, so I thought I might jot down a few notes concerning the news of my death, which wasalarming but not true. I am, as of half-past four this afternoon, still alive, and was most certainly alive the day I sat at the Café Kafka with my afternoon tea and read my obituary in the newspaper.

The Daily Punctilio has never been a reliable newspaper: not when I worked there as part of an undercover assignment, not when that terrible reporter began to write about the Baudelaire case, and not when they advertised a sale on three-piece suits a few days ago, at a store that turned out to sell nothing but Indian rugs. Unlike a reliable newspaper, which bases its articles on facts, The Daily Punctilio bases its articles on innuendo, a word which here means “people who call up newspapers and tell them things that aren't necessarily true.”

The only thing that turned out to be true about my obituary was the last sentence, and this morning I had the curious experience of attending my own burial. To my astonishment, quite a crowd showed up for the event -- mostly people who had believed the earlier stories about me in The Daily Punctilio, and wanted to be sure that a notorious criminal was indeed dead. The crowd stood very quietly, seeming scarcely to move or even breathe, as if the news of their deaths had also been printed in the newspaper. I stood outside, shielding my face beneath an umbrella, as my coffin was carried into a long, black car, and the only sound I could hear was the mechanical click! of someone operating a camera.

Sometimes, when you are reading a book you are enjoying very much, you begin thinking so hard about the characters and the story that you might forget all about the author, even if he is in grave danger and would very much appreciate your help. The same thing can happen if you are looking at a photograph. You might think so hard about whatever is in the photograph that you forget all about the person behind the camera. Luckily, this did not happen to me, and I managed to take note of the person in the crowd who took the picture you probably have in this file. The photographer is standing in the seventh row of the crowd, twelfth from the left-hand side. As you can see, the person has hidden his or her camera behind the person standing eleventh from the left-hand side. That is why I am waiting here at this fogged-in harbor, in order to...

The Prospero has arrived, so I will stop writing and file these notes with my letter, written so many years ago, to Professor Patton concerning inaccuracies regarding my birth. It makes me sad to think that my whole life, from the cradle to the grave, is full of errors, but at least that will not happen to the Baudelaires.

From the desk of Lemony Snicket

Dr. Charley Patton
Adjunct Professor, Folk Song Department
Scriabin Institute for Accuracy in Music

Dear Professor Patton,

It was with much relief that I received your letter concerning the folk ballad “The Little Snicket Lad.” As you note, it is one of the most popular ballads of the region, and I have often heard it played in theaters, inns, and grocery stores whenever I am visiting, usually accompanied by an accordion. Though the tune is pleasant, the song is not an otherwise fair representation of my childhood, and I welcome the opportunity to correct at last the inaccuracies in the lyrics.

Please forgive the informality of my response -- I have merely typed some brief notes to the lyrics you have sent me. I am preparing to be married at present, so I do not have time for the lengthy, scholarly report I usually write in cases like this.

The Little Snicket Lad

Verse One:

On a charming little cattle farm
Near a pretty deadly lake,
Was a very pregnant woman,
And her husband, known as Jake.

Though they lived in a big mansion,
Down Robber Road a tad,
It was at the farm the lady
Bore the little Snicket lad....

A Series of Unfortunate Events: Lemony Snicket. Copyright © by Lemony Snicket. Reprinted by permission of HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved. Available now wherever books are sold.
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Interviews & Essays

The Afflicted Author: The Queasy Queries

Q. Are you a real person?

A. Yes.

Q. Is "Lemony Snicket" your pen name?

A. No. My pen's name is Alphonse.

Q. Where did you get the idea for A Series of Unfortunate Events?

A. By carefully researching the lives of the Baudelaire orphans.

Q. Are the stories real?

A. The stories are as real as I am.

Q. What will happen to the Baudelaire children next?

A. I cannot bear to tell you.

Q. When will the next installment of A Series of Unfortunate Events appear in bookstores?

A. Hopefully never. Although I have sworn to research every last detail of the miserable lives of the Baudelaires, I cannot imagine why booksellers would want to place these wretched tales on their shelves. In fact, to my horror, booksellers will be only too glad to tell you when the next installment will arrive.

Q. How many installments will there be in A Series of Unfortunate Events?

A. Early research indicates that the story will be contained in 13 volumes.

Q. Is Count Olaf still at large?

A. What a dreadful question. Unfortunately the answer is just as dreadful. In fact it is so dreadful I can only answer it in Spanish: Sí.

Q. Who is Beatrice?

A. That is the most dreadful question of all, and the answer is so terrible that I cannot even begin to say it without weeping. O Beatrice! My Beatrice!

Q. There, there. I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. Would you like a cup of tea?

A. If it's not too much trouble.

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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4.5
( 124 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star

(96)

4 Star

(15)

3 Star

(5)

2 Star

(6)

1 Star

(2)

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See All Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 124 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted January 16, 2012

    Amazing!

    I am in fifth grade and this is my favorite book series. I am on the last book and so far it is exquisite!!

    14 out of 24 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted March 27, 2009

    more from this reviewer

    Most amazing book ever.

    Lemony Snicket for me was the best writer ever. I am only a kid but I love to write about story's unfortunate just like him. And this book really is saying the truth about everything on publishing this book. I loved how the editor or publisher got real pictures of Lemony,s life or small parts of it.This book makes the reader never want to put down the book.Even little kids can read its simple and fascinating words.If their were an award for best informing book ever I'd vote this one. Because this book has the best lead middle and conclusion.

    12 out of 16 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted September 21, 2006

    The Penultimate Peril

    Outstanding! You must read it! The Penultimate Peril is a wonderfull book, just like the rest of the books written by Lemony Snicket. This next-to-last book from The Series of Unfortunate Events is a fun and mysterious book discribing the UNFORTUNATE time the Bouldelaires suffer during thier visit to The Hotel Donument where they become flauners in order to find all the noble volunteers, and the horrid villains. Also, during this adventure the Bouldelaires encounter people they hoped never to see again. Furthermore, this book brings many mysteries an questions, but also many answers. It is a great book!

    5 out of 12 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted November 9, 2006

    Great book

    This is the best book I have read in the series of unfortante events! 5 stars!

    5 out of 8 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted July 1, 2012

    Werid but true

    The baudelaires are real :l

    4 out of 10 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted September 14, 2006

    Vexingly Flat Disappointment

    I love Lemony, and have read with my kids (and by myself) all of the first 12 'Series' installments. Wanting more after 'Penultimate Peril' I read this hungrily, with Very Few Distractions, and kept waiting fruitlessly for some payoff. There was none. My opinion is simply that the publishers wanted more stuff to sell, veiled as another tasty nugget for our eager Snicket appetites, but it was all filler and no meat. I'm happy to have it on the shelf as part of my overall collection of the works of L.S., but this is sadly and most definitely not an example of his best efforts.

    4 out of 8 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted December 28, 2011

    Interesting

    This looks like it should be good!!!

    3 out of 18 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted August 11, 2006

    MasterFahey short book review

    A amazing collection of lemonys past adventures and his hometown scandals. it really is an unauthorized biography

    3 out of 7 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted March 7, 2007

    The Unauthorized Autobiography

    I like, personally think that ANY book at all written by Lemony Snicket is gonna be totally awesome.

    2 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted January 24, 2006

    Outstanding

    The book I am reviewing is Lemony Snicket: the Unauthorized Autobiography. The book is written by Lemony Snicket. I give this book five stars because I think this book is an amazing story. This story is about a man who is supposed to be dead. He is a secret agent who is writing letters to other secret agents and giving them costumes to help them escape out of institutes. When the secret agents write these letters, in some of them there are secret messages. I¿d recommend this book to all my friends. Other books by this author include The Bad Beginning which is about these three kids who lose their house in a bad house fire and have to live with an uncle that they have never heard of before. If you want to find out more, read this book!

    2 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted July 1, 2012

    Jihv

    :O REALLY?!?

    1 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted November 17, 2007

    the best books!

    Lemony Snickets books are the best books and are extreamly expiring!!!!!!!!!!!!

    1 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted September 23, 2007

    It's Forshizzalin

    One of my faves, I read the whole book the day after I bought it.

    1 out of 6 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted August 15, 2006

    Cool

    I love these books they're exciting,and they help me use my brain to the best of my ability.

    1 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted January 30, 2006

    amazing

    lemony snicket weaves an intricate web of mystery nobility and villainy in his suspenseful series about and the three Baudelaires and the misfortune that follows then wherever they go 'The world is quiet here'

    1 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted September 10, 2004

    Man!

    This like the greatest book it explaines almost everything.At first you dont know what it means, but at the second time it all comes together!! Then you start to find out stuff and well i dont want to spoil it!

    1 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted February 16, 2013

    Bio

    Who knew lemmony was the bautelairs dad i didnt so many things were explained a definate read

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted February 11, 2013

    Best book

    Ever

    0 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted December 17, 2012

    NOT FOR NOOK HD (no PagePerfect, i.e. graphically enhanced, book

    NOT FOR NOOK HD (no PagePerfect, i.e. graphically enhanced, books are).  
    They don't tell you this when you purchase a NOOK HD - which is the updated version of the Nook Color.

    The newest reader gets fewer compatible books, and none with enhanced graphics!  Nice.

    0 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 6, 2012

    Snicket

    This book deserves a billion stars!!!!! If you like Lemony Snicket, this book is perfect for you. It can be a wee bit confusing, but if you're in with Lemony's writing style, it won't be a problem. READ THIS BOOK TODAY!!!!!!!

    0 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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See All Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 124 Customer Reviews

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