Lesbian Ex-Lovers: The Really Long-Term Relationships

Lesbian Ex-Lovers: The Really Long-Term Relationships

by Esther D Rothblum, Jacqueline Weinstock
     
 

"We have earned a certain place in each other’s lives, and in the best of times we can rest on what we have made together."

Lesbian Ex-Lovers: The Really Long-Term Relationships examines the need for the development of better understanding and more critical analysis of lesbian ex-lover relationships. This eye-opening look into the minds and

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Overview

"We have earned a certain place in each other’s lives, and in the best of times we can rest on what we have made together."

Lesbian Ex-Lovers: The Really Long-Term Relationships examines the need for the development of better understanding and more critical analysis of lesbian ex-lover relationships. This eye-opening look into the minds and hearts of women offers personal insight into the possibilities for and potential pitfalls of lesbian ex-lover relations. This book contains personal stories, fictional accounts, poetry, and theoretical analyses of the frequency and significance of ex-lovers at different stages in a relationship.

Topics of interest in Lesbian Ex-Lovers include:

  • the roles ex-lovers play in our lives
  • ex-lovers as contexts for change and development
  • how we continue to be influenced by ex-lovers
  • letting go and moving on
  • ex-lovers as current friends and family
  • themes of betrayal and loss of faith
  • reconstructing friendships and community
  • the mystique of the ex-lover
  • friend/family connections among lesbian ex-lovers
"Rather than totally scrap a relationship, we recycle it—from lover to ex-lover to friend in a relatively short half-life."

Lesbian Ex-Lovers is the only book in print that explores how a lesbian’s ex-lovers impact her subsequent romances and lifestyle. This special collection adds a new dynamic to the current literature for and about the lesbian community.

Lesbian Ex-Lovers offers advice, anecdotes, and interpretations from such authors, poetesses, and artists as:

  • Michelle Gibson, PhD—educator and editor of Femme/Butch: New Considerations of the Way We Want to Go— who says goodbye to her lover in a sad, passionate elegy
  • Marny Hall—Psychotherapist, editor of the anthology Sexualities, and author of several books, including The Lavender Couch: A Consumer’s Guide to Psychotherapy for Lesbians and Gay Men—who muses on the unique bonding between lesbians and their ex-lovers, lending a mystique that surrounds the lesbian lifestyle
  • Alison Bechdel—creator of the comic strip Dykes to Watch Out For—who presents a humorous comic strip thanking her former lovers for teaching her about herself
  • Jane Futcher—newspaper reporter and author of three novels—who uses a chapter in her novel to illustrate the tensions that can occur when ex-lovers choose to remain friends, especially when those bonds provoke jealousy in both current and ex-lovers
  • Renny Christopher—educator and award-winning poetess—who expresses her love, loss, and regret in three poems about her ex-lover
  • and much more!

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Product Details

ISBN-13:
9781560232827
Publisher:
Taylor & Francis
Publication date:
11/28/2004
Series:
A Monograph Published Simultaneously As the Journal of Quality Assurance in Hospitality and Tourism Ser.
Pages:
276
Product dimensions:
5.90(w) x 8.40(h) x 0.70(d)

Table of Contents

Lesbian ex-lover relationships : under-estimated, under-theorized and under-valued?1
To all the girls I left before11
Tenth anniversary13
Coming out of my closet21
In my dream : my ex-lovers' unconventional convention25
These most difficult tasks31
Passion33
Still the one37
Loading up the U-Haul : traveling the spaces between friends and lovers45
Daring to take the risk57
Family affairs73
Highly favored ex75
For Emily, many years too late/years later, in another city, I still think of her79
Truth, dreams and the li(v)es between85
Temporary temptation87
Lost love89
Neurotic love letters93
Goodbye note to my lover97
Leaving Liza99
Lesbian ex-lovers by the numbers : a reflective but not contemplative love poem of sorts111
I'm not Lisa117
The house on Transcript Avenue129
The politics of potlucks135
Family doggerel141
The visit145
Irritating and constricting/elating and elastic - being "ex" as a lesbian149
Consummated friends and ex-wives : two types of lesbian ex-lovers159
When three's a crowd : ex-lovers and lesbian families in 2 girls in love165
Making the transition : understanding the longevity of lesbian relationships177
Lesbian FLEX-ibility : friend and/or family connections among lesbian ex-lovers193
The migration of the mythic lesbian241

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