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Lesbian Ex-Lovers: The Really Long-Term Relationships
     

Lesbian Ex-Lovers: The Really Long-Term Relationships

by Esther D Rothblum, Jacqueline S. Weinstock, Jacqueline Weinstock
 

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ISBN-10: 156023282X

ISBN-13: 9781560232827

Pub. Date: 11/28/2004

Publisher: Taylor & Francis

"We have earned a certain place in each other’s lives, and in the best of times we can rest on what we have made together."

Lesbian Ex-Lovers: The Really Long-Term Relationships examines the need for the development of better understanding and more critical analysis of lesbian ex-lover relationships. This eye-opening look into the minds and

Overview

"We have earned a certain place in each other’s lives, and in the best of times we can rest on what we have made together."

Lesbian Ex-Lovers: The Really Long-Term Relationships examines the need for the development of better understanding and more critical analysis of lesbian ex-lover relationships. This eye-opening look into the minds and hearts of women offers personal insight into the possibilities for and potential pitfalls of lesbian ex-lover relations. This book contains personal stories, fictional accounts, poetry, and theoretical analyses of the frequency and significance of ex-lovers at different stages in a relationship.

Topics of interest in Lesbian Ex-Lovers include:

  • the roles ex-lovers play in our lives
  • ex-lovers as contexts for change and development
  • how we continue to be influenced by ex-lovers
  • letting go and moving on
  • ex-lovers as current friends and family
  • themes of betrayal and loss of faith
  • reconstructing friendships and community
  • the mystique of the ex-lover
  • friend/family connections among lesbian ex-lovers
"Rather than totally scrap a relationship, we recycle it—from lover to ex-lover to friend in a relatively short half-life."

Lesbian Ex-Lovers is the only book in print that explores how a lesbian’s ex-lovers impact her subsequent romances and lifestyle. This special collection adds a new dynamic to the current literature for and about the lesbian community.

Lesbian Ex-Lovers offers advice, anecdotes, and interpretations from such authors, poetesses, and artists as:

  • Michelle Gibson, PhD—educator and editor of Femme/Butch: New Considerations of the Way We Want to Go— who says goodbye to her lover in a sad, passionate elegy
  • Marny Hall—Psychotherapist, editor of the anthology Sexualities, and author of several books, including The Lavender Couch: A Consumer’s Guide to Psychotherapy for Lesbians and Gay Men—who muses on the unique bonding between lesbians and their ex-lovers, lending a mystique that surrounds the lesbian lifestyle
  • Alison Bechdel—creator of the comic strip Dykes to Watch Out For—who presents a humorous comic strip thanking her former lovers for teaching her about herself
  • Jane Futcher—newspaper reporter and author of three novels—who uses a chapter in her novel to illustrate the tensions that can occur when ex-lovers choose to remain friends, especially when those bonds provoke jealousy in both current and ex-lovers
  • Renny Christopher—educator and award-winning poetess—who expresses her love, loss, and regret in three poems about her ex-lover
  • and much more!

Product Details

ISBN-13:
9781560232827
Publisher:
Taylor & Francis
Publication date:
11/28/2004
Series:
A Monograph Published Simultaneously As the Journal of Quality Assurance in Hospitality and Tourism Ser.
Pages:
276
Product dimensions:
5.90(w) x 8.40(h) x 0.70(d)

Table of Contents

Introduction
Lesbian Ex-Lover Relationships: Under-Estimated, Under-Theorized and Under-Valued?1
"The Changer and the Changed": Ex-Lovers as Contexts for Development
To All the Girls I Left Before11
Tenth Anniversary13
Coming Out of My Closet21
In My Dream: My Ex-Lovers' Unconventional Convention25
These Most Difficult Tasks31
Passion33
Moving Costs: Challenges of (Re)defining Our Relationships and Dealing with Unfinished Business
Still the One37
Loading Up the U-Haul: Traveling the Spaces Between Friends and Lovers45
Daring to Take the Risk57
Family Affairs73
Highly Favored Ex75
For Emily, Many Years Too Late/Years Later, in Another City, I Still Think of Her79
Too much Tsoras? The High Costs of Maintaining Ties
Truth, Dreams and the Li(v)es Between85
Temporary Temptation87
Lost Love89
Neurotic Love Letters93
Goodbye Note to My Lover97
Leaving Liza99
Lesbian Ex-Lovers by the Numbers: A Reflective but Not Contemplative Love Poem of Sorts111
Not Lovers But not "Just Friends": Reconstructing Families, Friendships, and Communities
Personal Stories
I'm Not Lisa117
The House on Transcript Avenue129
The Politics of Potlucks135
Family Doggerel141
The Visit145
Irritating and Constricting/Elating and Elastic-Being "Ex" as a Lesbian149
Theoretical Reflections
Consummated Friends and Ex-Wives: Two Types of Lesbian Ex-Lovers159
When Three's a Crowd: Ex-Lovers and Lesbian Families in 2 Girls in Love165
Making the Transition: Understanding the Longevity of Lesbian Relationships177
Lesbian FLEX-ibility: Friend and/or Family Connections Among Lesbian Ex-Lovers193
Afterword
The Migration of the Mythic Lesbian241
Index247

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