Let Me Off at the Top!: My Classy Life and Other Musings [NOOK Book]

Overview

Ron Burgundy is known to all as the lead anchorman of San Diego's award-winning Action 4 News Team and anchor of the first 24-hour news channel, GNN (Global News Network), but few know the real man behind the news desk. In LET ME OFF AT THE TOP! My Classy Life and Other Musings he will share never-before-told stories of his childhood and the events that led him to choose a career in the news business. He will offer a rare glimpse behind the camera into the real life of a man many ...

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Let Me Off at the Top!: My Classy Life and Other Musings

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Overview

Ron Burgundy is known to all as the lead anchorman of San Diego's award-winning Action 4 News Team and anchor of the first 24-hour news channel, GNN (Global News Network), but few know the real man behind the news desk. In LET ME OFF AT THE TOP! My Classy Life and Other Musings he will share never-before-told stories of his childhood and the events that led him to choose a career in the news business. He will offer a rare glimpse behind the camera into the real life of a man many consider to be our greatest living news anchor.  In his own words, he will share personal anecdotes about the women in his life, about his dog, Baxter, and his legendary news team. Along the way, he'll also give sage advice on a variety of topics that matter most to him. The long wait is over. Ron Burgundy pulls no punches in this widely anticipated, fully authorized tell-all autobiography.

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  • Let Me Off at the Top
    Let Me Off at the Top  

Editorial Reviews

Kirkus Reviews
2013-11-20
A paean to silly self-regard from the master of the genre, TV anchor Burgundy. Burgundy is, of course, a fictitious character, the product of comedian Will Ferrell. There's a Pinocchio moment toward the end of this looping book, full of sound but empty of signification, when he calls it "a novel about my life," even as he deems the two Anchorman franchise films to date "factual documentaries about myself." Roll with it, then: Burgundy, a native of a little town in Iowa named for a sectarian murderer and full of people who just didn't quite have the gumption to head further west, has made himself an enduring star of the small screen, a jazz flautist, dog lover and collector of "authentic replications of Spanish broadswords." And let's not forget connoisseur of peaty adult beverages: "There's nothing so bad on God's green earth that can't be made good by a tall glass of scotch." That may be, but even a fifth of the firth's finest can't mask the fundamental so-whatness of this artifact. The satire is broad to the point of micrometer-thinness, the targets all the usual suspects, the put-on chauvinism and arrogance just more of the same for anyone who's seen the films--and who besides the films' fans would plunk down the money for this book? Stephen Colbert has done wonders with his similarly broad-brushed character, but this is second-tier stuff. Even if Burgundy (or whoever the writer is) occasionally lands a point, it seems almost accidental, as when Burgundy senior tells his anchor-boy son, "Ron, sometimes people don't want the truth. They just want the news." A stocking stuffer for die-hard Burgundians or a gag gift to bring to Wes Mantooth's holiday party, but nothing more than that.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780804139588
  • Publisher: Crown Publishing Group
  • Publication date: 11/19/2013
  • Sold by: Random House
  • Format: eBook
  • Pages: 224
  • Sales rank: 53,432
  • File size: 6 MB

Meet the Author

Ron Burgundy is a trailblazer and icon in television journalism.  He and the Action 4 News Team will be honored at Washington, D.C.’s Newseum with an installation of mementos and keepsakes of their time and impact in San Diego that will begin in December.  On December 20, he will star as himself in Paramount Pictures’ Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues.

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Read an Excerpt

AUTHOR’S NOTE
 
It took me eight years to write this book. The research alone—fact-checking, reading the source materials, asking questions—was endless and I didn’t care for it that much. I just didn’t. But I persisted because I knew what I was doing was truly very important. A book is never the work of one man. Many people contribute to its failure, or as in this case, its success. Dorathoy Roberts at the Harvard Widener Library was instrumental in recovering so many facts and nautical terms. Janart Prancer aided my work immensely with her near-encyclopedic understanding of rare manuscripts in the Herzog August Library, Wolfenbüttel, Germany. Esther Naus­baum, head librarian at the prestigious Kirkland School of Dinosaurs, was instrumental in tracking down indispensable paleoecological records for chapter 15 in this book. Herb Kolowsky was ever watchful and patient, reading over many drafts of the manuscript as well as cleaning my gutters. I con­sulted with my dear friend and lover Doris Kearns Goodwin over many breakfasts in bed. Her sharp intellect and sharper teeth found their way into practically every page. Although we are no longer lovers because I don’t know why, her knowledge of presidential history is the basis for chapter 12. Her dogged enthusiasm for the project was only outpaced by her enthusi­asm for lovemaking, which I could barely equal. I don’t know what to say about Doris really except if she’s still out there and she would like another bounce, I would be game. Johnny Bench was an invaluable spell-checker. Lars Mankike brought an artistic eye to the project and a kind of European nihilism that was completely unnecessary. We fought often and he got what he deserved, so I’m not even sure why I’m thanking him here, but it’s too late now. Sandy Duncan is full of boundless energy. What can I say about Veronica Corningstone, the love of my life? We’ve had our ups and downs for sure, and usu­ally the downs were because of something stupid she said or did while losing her blood. You really can’t fault women for being irrational. Blood drips out of them willy-nilly and there’s nothing they can do about it. It’s like being a hemophiliac. I suspect science will one day cure them of this blood-dripping disease but until then, Vive la différence. Finally Baxter, my dog and best friend, saw me through many tough hours as I struggled with my emotions during this proj­ect. His love and support sustained me through extremely dif­ficult excavations into my past. Only Baxter knows the pain I have lived. Our nightly talks formed the basis for what you hold in your hand now.  
 
WHY WRITE THIS BOOK?
 
Does mankind really need another book dumped onto the giant garbage heap of books already out there? Is there some pressing desire for the wisdom of a humble News Anchor in this world? Will it add to the great literary achievements throughout time or will it be lost in a swamp of trivial scrib­bling like pornography—devoured and then destroyed out of shame? I stand here (I write standing up) and I say, “No!” No, this book will NOT be lost! This book is necessary. It’s an im­portant work from an important man. I was the number one News Anchor in all of San Diego. My name is Ron Burgundy and what you have in your hands is a very big deal. It’s...my…life. It’s my words. It’s my gift to you.
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Interviews & Essays

A Q&A with Anchorman and Literary Legend RON BURGUNDY,

Author of LET ME OFF AT THE TOP!

What aspects of your childhood or upbringing have endured with you as your career has taken off? Is there any element from your upbringing that you've shed over the years?

Extremely interesting question, yes indeed. In a way I think we are all still children—I mean sure we have to write checks and shave and drink alcohol but inside every one of us there's a child who's like, “I don't want to write checks! I don't want to shave! I do want to drink alcohol but I don't want anybody to catch me!” That child lives inside of me very close to the surface. I still get very angry when I have to shave. I've thrown temper tantrums and collapsed on the floor when I'm forced to write checks for whatever reason. I'm going to say it. I am pretty close to the boy I was when I was eleven years old. I've made a lot of grown-ups mad. I'll tell you an interesting story. One time I was out on a date with a beautiful woman. This was back when I was in my thirties. We had finished a romantic dinner and the night was heading toward a predictable erotic conclusion. As we entered her apartment I saw that she had an enormous king-sized bed. She began slowly undoing her dress but the anticipation was just too much for me. I couldn't wait another second. I ran at the bed and jumped up and down on it. I had completely forgotten I was a grown man about to have sex. Instead, the pure childlike excitement of bouncing up and down on that huge bed overtook me and there was nothing I could do. Sometimes that inner child explodes at the wrong time but not often. It was a huge bed and just lots and lots of fun! I must have bounced for a good two hours and then we did it.

What role do you think women play in our society today? Are there any areas that could still be developed more favorably toward them?

To be candid, I think we are ready for a woman president. I'd love to see it. Sure the country would have to suffer through some crazy emotional ups and downs every month and women can be pretty irrational and maybe you would have to make some kind of amendment whereby they would not be allowed to be commander in chief because that could get pretty dicey! A lady in control of the military? I think most women out there would certainly agree that would be pure insanity. But doing the budget and having parties for dignitaries and making bills and stuff—do I think a woman could do that? You bet. I hope she's sexy. I would hate to see that first woman president be a real dog—not that that would make her any less qualified but she would be more qualified if she were sexy. I hope it's someone who looks like Jessica Lange in her prime. Boy oh boy, that would be top-drawer stuff—a president who looked like Jessica Lange circa King Kong! Invite me to the Lincoln Bedroom!

Your research on Mexico is exhaustive, but has raised the eyebrows of many anthropologists and archaeologists for its gaps in crucial areas of information. Some have even suggested that certain details were fabricated. Can you speak to these assertions?

Well this hurts and yes I am aware of what some jealous critics are saying. First off, to be fair, I'm not perfect. I could have gotten a fact wrong here or there but let's not forget—what I've written about the history of Mexico in Let Me Off at the Top! is surely the first scholarly work on Mexico ever written. So it seems ridiculous to me to challenge its accuracy when there's nothing to compare it to. Maybe better histories of Mexico will be written in the future but honest to God I don't know how. It took me a long time to write just that one chapter as anyone could plainly see. (For those of you who are wondering—I do intend on finishing my complete history of Mexico. Look for it in stores early 2021.)

As far as “anthropologists” and “archaeologists” are concerned they should stick to what they do best and let people who study history do what they do. I'm often accosted on the street by eggheads from universities who want to criticize the way I report the news or just the way I live and really the only thing you can do is bust them in the beak and hope you don't get your knuckles bloody.

Where did your love for animals originate? Are you currently engaged in any programs or projects dedicated to animal welfare?

Of course I go into great detail about my relationship with animals in my book, Let Me Off at the Top! but I will say this, male koala bears have two penises. It's utterly true! It doesn't speak much to your question I know but it's just amazing. I have these facts squeezed into my head and there's no room to keep them in there. I have to let them go and voilà, the world benefits!

Has your attitude or relationship to the flute changed at all over the years? Do you have any advice for young musicians today?

I think if you're just starting out in the music world today you have to be very savvy about how you're going to make a buck. Do you learn to play jazz? Let's be honest. I love jazz and I am a great jazz flautist but can you make a buck from it? What about rock? Is there any money in rock? Not much. The kids these days like rap-rhyming. All the money seems to be in rap-rhyming. But here's the problem. Let's say you're just starting out today. Do you practice rap-rhyming? No! You have to guess what's going to be big by the time you're grown up. I think Dixieland music is poised to make a huge comeback. It's got a real beat and cool-sounding banjo and clarinet parts. It's just perfect for a redo. If I were starting out in music today I would get my Dixieland band chops down pat and get ready for the big wave coming. I think a great name for a Dixieland band would be the Biloxi Skillet Lickers. Also the Tennessee Bearcat 7. They are both equally very good names.

It seems that you and Veronica Corningstone have been enjoying a fruitful marriage, but there are several instances, particularly one in your chapter “I Dish the Dirt!” that imply you've had extramarital affairs. Does this suggest a kind fluidity in your relationship? What are your views on marriage today?

I am a strong believer in monogamous relationships. I feel that marriage between a man and a woman, a man and a man or a woman and a woman is a sacred and special bond. My relationship with Veronica is such a bond. I could count on just two hands the number of times I've gone outside of the marriage for sex. That's ten times or less so I think you can see I'm a pretty dedicated husband. Only one of those times was I actually in love with the woman and she turned out to be a real pain in the ass so I was lucky to have Veronica standing by when that fell through. Veronica of course has gone outside of the marriage herself a few times but come on! Really? Imagine you're a woman and you're married to Ron Burgundy. How long could you stay away? Not long, right. Veronica on occasion would meet NFL football legend Frank Gifford for a quickie but then he was married too so that made it okay. Besides, I've always liked Gifford, and his wife, Kathy, was a real wildcat in the sack.

Your rapport with an array of notable public figures is impressive. Have any of these friendships or relationships endured?

I remain friends with so many famous people. I hate to drop names and brag. It's just not my nature. I do think it's important to say that I'm great friends with Hollywood legend, Richard Thomas. I did a guest spot on the television show, The Waltons once. The only dramatic acting I've ever attempted. I was simply terrible. I'm just not a good actor but Richard talked me through the whole ordeal and we've been friends ever since. I have one of his kidneys.

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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4.5
( 11 )
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Sort by: Showing all of 11 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted December 1, 2013

    Truly Insightful

    A combination of Mark Twain, Socrates and Genghis Khan, Mr. Burgandy is a true poet and the welcome voice of the lost generations of the latter decades of the 20th century.

    A must read for those seeking truth, honor and the Dionesian way.

    4 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted November 24, 2013

    A great story of a great man as he fights his way through this g

    A great story of a great man as he fights his way through this game we call life. This story is not only a autobiography but should be consider as a self help and in some ways a cook book. (ref. pg 255) Non the less Ron has not only open Americas eyes to what it takes to be a  hansome jazz flute but to be a man.  

    3 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted May 12, 2014

    STOP CURSING

    Please do not curse. That is taking Gods name in vain
    Anyone out there a Christian? Just put a reveiw called Response123/.
    -TheGoodChristian

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted January 24, 2014

    Truly hilarious, was laughing the entire time!!!

    If you love Anchorman humor, then this is the book for you!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted November 22, 2013

    Lol its actually just Will Ferrell

    Wat? I dont even

    1 out of 6 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted April 19, 2014

    Boring

    Boring

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 17, 2014

    Great book

    Jeez this guy is just too goddamn funny. Loved the jackope part.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted March 16, 2014

    Great book

    FUNNIEST BOOK THAT IVE EVER READ

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted February 24, 2014

    More to love

    Hilarious and informative! The inimitatable voiceo Mr. Burgundy leaps off the page!

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted December 9, 2013

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted November 25, 2013

    No text was provided for this review.

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