Read an Excerpt
"To be happy, use your nose. Every day is rich in smells....a clich�,
if you got roses, smell 'em."
"Books make life good! Books are fun. Dad's books are especially fun.
(I know where my kibble comes from.) Some books confuse me. Read WAR and
PEACE by Tolstoy. Long book. Very long book. No dogs in significant
roles. Why anyone write very long book not about dogs? Figured I read bad
translation. Read it again in original Russian language. Still no
dogs. Tolstoy was maniac, writing very long books not about dogs.
WAR and PEACE gets a no-cookie rating from this critic. Plus I peed on book.
Critic is entitled to strong opinion.
Read Dad's new book. Can give honest opinion even though I know who scoops my kibble. Am dog, after all. Am corruptible.
Dad's new book is suspenseful, funny, full of emotion, but has no dog in significant role. Am afraid Dad is losing mind. Will end up as nuts as Tolstoy though not Russian.
Your life is an epic novel. Dare to be the hero."
"Smack your lips loud!"
"Be thankful for your bowls. Good things come in them. Sometimes water. Sometimes juice. Sometimes kibble. Sometimes cantaloupe. Always show thanks for what's in the bowls. Smack your lips loud. Lick chops. Drool. Drooling is best way to say thank-you. Can't fake drool. Humans would be happier if drooled more. More drool equals nicer world. Nicer, wetter, stickier. Wear rubber-soled shoes, stain-resistant fabrics. Drool, be happy."
"Trixies's Top 8 Reasons WHY DOGS SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO DRIVE CARS"
1) We are by nature obedient. Would break no traffic laws. Except when
toilet stops require brief parking in front of fireplugs.
2) Look so cute. Sight of driving dog lift spirits of human drivers, make highways friendlier.
3) Because ears tend to flap in wind, dogs make better use of convertibles than humans do.
4) Dogs do not drink alcoholic beverages. So can never drive under influence and never blast passengers with beer farts.
5) Guide dogs who drive could better serve blind people.
6) Is civil rights issue.
7) Have better self image, bark less, wag more.
8) Dogs don't need maps. Can smell our way anywhere.
"To lead good life, must have curiosity......even if sometimes the mystery in the bushes turns out to be skunk."
"Don't struggle against life. Float with it. Be Bouyant. You won't sink unless you expect to."
"Loving nature makes joyful life.
Mother Nature made me, made you. Also made scorpions, cockroaches. Mother Nature is little nuts but very creative. Mother Nature gives warm sun, cool rain, pretty ferns. She gives us tornadoes, hurricanes.
Mother Nature is like wacky aunt from Cleveland, comes visiting with nice gifts, also eye-watering garlic breath and killer farts, but is family, so you got to love her."
Encourage affection. Position yourself in hallway or other high-traffic area. As giver-of-affection approaches, look cute, reach out with one paw, then roll onto back with all four paws in the air, offering glorious furry belly for rubbing. If you don't have glorious furry belly this might not work as well for you as does for me."