Living the Life You Love: The No-Nonsense Guide to Total Transformation

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Overview

Wishing your life were different doesn't make it so. If you want to live a life that you truly love, it takes deliberate and soul-searching work to figure out what you really want, why you don't already have it and what you're honestly willing to do to get it.

Like a best friend dispensing a little tough love, Paula Renaye wraps a sturdy arm around your shoulders, forces you to look in the mirror and says, "You can do this." And then with a simple and practical step-by-step ...

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Living the Life You Love: The No-Nonsense Guide to Total Transformation

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Overview

Wishing your life were different doesn't make it so. If you want to live a life that you truly love, it takes deliberate and soul-searching work to figure out what you really want, why you don't already have it and what you're honestly willing to do to get it.

Like a best friend dispensing a little tough love, Paula Renaye wraps a sturdy arm around your shoulders, forces you to look in the mirror and says, "You can do this." And then with a simple and practical step-by-step process, she shows you how to discover what's been holding you back and how to turn those limitations into life-transforming choices.

Renaye combines engaging stories of her "dark times" and real-world experiences with concise, practical exercises that lead you to your own discoveries and insights. A guided coaching session pulls everything together, showing you how to define your dream life and map out how to get it.

The book also includes detailed examples and instructions on how to create your own personal vision script and vision board and how to use them effectively and successfully. There's also a bonus chapter with tips on "what to do when you don't know what to do."

Whether it's a relationship, career, health or other challenge, you'll find the tools to stop tolerating what you need to change and start living a life you truly love.

*****
SUMMARY HIGHLIGHTS
Whether it's a relationship, career, health or other challenge, you'll find how to stop tolerating what you hate about your life and start living a life you love.

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Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher
"All the benefits of serious therapy in one book! Reading this book is like getting therapy from a top-notch therapist who has the guts to tell it like it is and the compassion to help you face your issues squarely and do something about them.” -Amy Wood, PsyD, author, Life Your Way

"Paula has written the quintessential manual for anyone who no longer wants to be a member of 'the ain't it awful club.'!” -Gail McMeekin, LICSW, bestselling author, The 12 Secrets of Highly Successful Women

"Whether you're working with a good therapist, on your own or in a study group, Living the Life You Love is a wonderful guide to self-transformation. Like a friend who's cheering you on, supportive but firm, as she guides you on the path of self-discover

Kirkus Reviews
In her practical, hard-hitting yet realistic program for self-improvement, Renaye demonstrates that there's still plenty to say in the self-help industry. A professional life coach and transformational speaker, Renaye has created a concise, encyclopedic guide-cum-workbook that does the job of multiple existing titles, all while adding profound, useful insights and strategies to the conversation. She breaks self-exploration and retooling into manageable, sharply focused steps that help push the reader into honest reflection, emotional and physical health and, ultimately, empowerment and maturity. Though hints of other popular spiritual works shine through, such as the creation of vision boards to visualize what you want in life, the perspective is refreshingly grounded, and Renaye's confessional, empathetic narrative invites readers to identify with her while buying into her approaches. Each chapter focuses on a discrete issue or aspect of life--feeling stuck, body wisdom, living for others--and ends with a transformational insight worksheet (copying is advisable, since space is limited) with questions for self-analysis. Even without the worksheets, tripwires for aha moments run throughout the book. Recognizing that some difficult people are unavoidable, she prescribes stockpiling diversionary tactics in advance. She also lays out simple, sanity-saving strategies for navigating conversations, as well as tips for climbing out of inevitable dips in mood. She expands the vision board concept into a vision script that can help reprogram your thinking, with guidelines, precautions and sample language for recording. She calls her methods tough love, but they're also deeply human, compassionate and supportive. A self-help guide with real-world value and applicability, which proves it's never too late to grow up.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780967478692
  • Publisher: Diomo Books
  • Publication date: 9/1/2012
  • Pages: 288
  • Sales rank: 492,796
  • Product dimensions: 5.66 (w) x 8.32 (h) x 0.80 (d)

Meet the Author

Paula Renaye is a certified professional coach, speaker and award-winning author of both fiction and nonfiction. She has a degree in financial planning, is a member of the International Association of Coaching and serves on the executive board of Making the World a Better Place, a nonprofit foundation.

A frequent tough love guest expert on talk radio, Renaye's television appearances include BookTV. She writes regular columns for personal development and relationship sites and international online magazines. Renaye grew up in Texas, lived in Colorado for 20 years and now resides in Arkansas.

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Read an Excerpt

Whether it's a personal relationship, a situation at work or simply something we know we need to deal with but don't, the longer we let it go, the harder it is to do what we need to do. We each put on our own particular brand of rose-colored glasses to make it easier to live with what we don't want to face. And before you even realize it, denial, delusion and procrastination become habits--even a way of life.

I used to be the undisputed Queen of Denial. I was good, excellent even. When my husband and I divorced, most people were absolutely shocked. Not one person ever said, "Oh, we knew something was wrong." Nope. No one had any idea that all was not well in Happy Valley. We had "looked” like thAs it turned out, while my conscious self was busy making plans for a life that explored my highest potential, my subconscious programming was lurking in the background with a nasty little monkey wrench. In my case, it was a prime directive that trumped everything else. "Be all you can be” did not dictate my priorities and choices-"be married or die” did.
I could say anything I wanted to, but if it didn't fit with my deeply held belief that without a man to validate me I was nothing, it wasn't going to happen. It couldn't. My self-worth-my worthiness to even be alive-depended on having a man, so I did whatever I had to in order to accomplish that. I gave up my education, my career, my dreams and my identity.

Besides having to get married as soon as possible, which I did at eighteen, my programming also required that I stay married, no matter what. And I did-for decades. Only when the mental, emotional and physical pain became more than I could bear did I become willing to begin to admit that I was seriously unhappy with my marriage and my life. And only when the reality of staying married became more painful than the fear of dying if I wasn't did I finally become willing to consider a change.

However, recognizing that I wanted things to be different didn't instantly fix things. My husband made it very clear that I was the one with the problem. He hadn't changed, I had; therefore, all the issues in the marriage were entirely on my shoulders and it was up to me to deal with them. He was right. Maybe not in the way he meant it, but right nonetheless. He was still the same person, doing the same things he always had. I was the one who had changed. I was the one who now didn't like the role I was playing and wanted more. And yes, it was up to me to deal with it...

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Table of Contents

Preface ix

Introduction 1

1 What Are You "Willing to Do? 5

2 The Why 11

3 Just Love Yourself? 19

4 Carrots and Sticks 25

5 What's Behind the Mask? 33

6 Rip Off the Bandage 49

7 Follow the Yellow Brick Road 55

8 The Princess and the Rebel 65

9 Where's the Remote? 75

10 You Become Who Your Friends Are 83

11 The Family That Plays Together… 93

12 Judge, Jury and Jolly Jokers 103

13 13 Sanity-Saving Strategies 111

14 If It's Broken, Fix It 125

15 It's Okay, I Forgive You 135

16 Talk Isn't Cheap 145

17 Healthy Choices 157

18 If Only… 179

19 Money, Work and Lovin' It 189

20 15 Tough-Love Reminders 203

21 So, What Do You Want? 213

22 The Vision Board 227

23 The Vision Script 233

24 33 Tips for the Dips 247

Conclusion 267

Additional Resources 271

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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 5
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Sort by: Showing all of 4 Customer Reviews
  • Posted August 31, 2013

    As an evolving species, we humans are continually changing; and

    As an evolving species, we humans are continually changing; and as a piece of God/Source/Creator, we have the power to re-mold ourselves and change our lives. That said, a nice guidebook never hurts, and this is a great one. This book is really a 269-page manual that maps out logical and extremely doable steps to help us live the lives we deserve to live. Living the Life You Love is a quintessential, therapeutic instruction guide for those of us who want to be HAPPY; and don’t we all deserve to be happy? Of course we do, and as Paula says:
    ‘To live the life you truly love takes deliberate, soul-searching work to discover what you really want, why you don’t have it, and how to go about getting it.’
    I’m not going to lie to you, this book is going to make you think; it will take you on a journey of self-discovery, and when you’re finished, you will be very glad you picked it up. I know I was.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted December 12, 2012

    Read this book. If you haven't, you should. If you are thinking

    Read this book. If you haven't, you should. If you are thinking about it, stop. Read it. It has what you need-Tools to grow, reminders to kick you in the bum when you need it and affirming things remember how fabulous you are!! REad IT, The end. Dr. Kendra

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  • Posted December 12, 2012

    I know Paula Renaye from some previous dialogue, which in theory

    I know Paula Renaye from some previous dialogue, which in theory biases my comments. I suppose that would be true if it weren't for the fact that Paula does us a great service in Living the Life You Love...she challenges us... to face what’s been holding us back. That's a gift because most works in this genre propose overly simplistic solutions. That's unfortunate since significant human development always begins with facing hard truths. And Paula calls us to that place...with kindness and compassion...but unflinchingly.

    Then she provides practical self-discovery tools to move forward. If you’re willing to do the work, this book lays out a path for tackling those intractable challenges that you might otherwise fail to overcome.

    In the end, she tells us the truth based on her own experience. I can think of nothing more praiseworthy than that.

    —Ron Chapman MSW, Facilitator, Coach and Speaker, Author of A Killer's Grace and Seeing True: Ninety Contemplations in Ninety Days

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  • Posted October 18, 2012

    Highly recommended--tells you what to do to figure things out

    I knew I needed to make changes, which is why I got this book. I am about halfway through and it has been an eye opener. I see myself in a lot of the stories, and I did not realize that I had beliefs that I had beliefs that were keeping me doing things even though I was not happy with how things always turned out. It sounds so obvious, but it was not at all and this book has helped me see what I have been doing to myself. What I really like is that after I have an ah-ha moment, I get real things to do about it like the self respect question, which is basically that if you had self esteem and self respect would you do that? I bought the book because it said it had guided coaching and workbook sections and I thought the structure would help me have something to follow and it does but it is much more than that. If you want to get to the bottom of why you are not happy and change it so you are then this is the book for you.

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