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The following parenting skills can be taught in response to situations that may be creating obstacles for the parent in imparting values.
Alternatively, the facilitator may choose to teach one skill or awareness at each of the sessions, depending on the needs of the parents.
Parent Concern: "I don't have enough time."
"I don't have enough time."
Parenting Skill 1
The Importance of Play and "Us Time"
For Parents of Infants Through Four-Year-Olds
As most parents will agree, children of this age require an inordinate amount of attention. Time to cuddle, hold, play and attend to the child is invaluable.
It is said that play is the work of the child. Play is the child's opportunity to experience freedom, joy and self-expression. It is a time when children can feel "full of themselves." Children work out their feelings in play,
and if there have been traumatic experiences, play is healing. Play is a time of learning and growing cognitively, emotionally, socially, spiritually and physically. As a parent, playing with your children creates a cooperative, loving,
and close bond and adds to the joy within the relationship.
Enter into their world. Play at their level and pace. Join the world of pretend.
When they pretend to give you a bite of food, pretend to give them a bite. Play with clay and blocks, with dolls and trucks, play peek-a-boo and roll around on the floor. Play with balls, rolling them initially. When a child structures a game and is enjoying it, do not come along and make it harder so he or she is not successful. Simply be-accepting, reflecting, enjoying.
For Parents of Five- to Nine-Year-Olds
Yes, it's hard to find time in this busy world for play and values activities.
But, ask yourself:
- Why did I have children in the first place?
- Why do I love them?
- What do I wish I had done more of over the past few years?
Finding some time every day to play with your children is so important. That precious time is when relationships are enjoyed and the feelings of love grow.
The children who get "Us Time" get that full attention and close eye contact which tells them they are valued and valuable.
- What do I enjoy doing myself that I can do with my child?
- What would be fun for both myself and the child?
There's an interesting saying: "Cooperation follows love." By playing every day with your children so they can count on getting your full, undivided attention for even fifteen minutes a day, minor negativities will simply disappear.
Play games you enjoyed at that age or would have liked to have played. Play pretend games, play outside, play with balls and dolls, play with the simple enjoyment of enjoying your children. Introduce them to the common games of your culture-perhaps cards and board games, soccer or circle dances. Don't get competitive yourself, but model graceful winning and losing. (Winning a game with a child about one-third of the time is fine.) Teach them things; allow them to experience themselves as successful. Take them places that are free.
Go on a walk to a park, a lake or the ocean.
Plan how you can build in fifteen minutes per day with each of your two children.
If you have six children, can you devote an hour to play or Us Time? Play cooperative games as a group where everyone wins. Us Time can also be a time of just listening with your full attention. Use daily routine time to interact with your children.
For instance, converse in the bus or car or as you walk to the store.
¬2001. All rights reserved. Reprinted from Living Values
Activitiets for Young Adults by Diane Tillman. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, without the written permission of the publisher. Publisher: Health
Communications,3201 SW 15th Street, Deerfield Beach, FL 33442.