Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger's

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Overview

New York Times Bestseller

“As sweet and funny and sad and true and heartfelt a memoir as one could find.”
—from the foreword by Augusten Burroughs

Ever since he was young, John Robison longed to connect with other people, but by the time he was a teenager, his odd habits—an inclination to blurt out non sequiturs, avoid eye contact, dismantle radios, and dig five-foot holes (and stick his younger brother, Augusten Burroughs, in them)—had earned him the label “social deviant.” It was not until he was forty that he was diagnosed with a form of autism called Asperger’s syndrome. That understanding transformed the way he saw himself—and the world. A born storyteller, Robison has written a moving, darkly funny memoir about a life that has taken him from developing exploding guitars for KISS to building a family of his own. It’s a strange, sly, indelible account—sometimes alien yet always deeply human.

Editorial Reviews

From Barnes & Noble

Even without medical diagnoses, John Elder Robison's youth was abnormal. His father was an abusive alcoholic; his mother was deeply mentally disturbed. Not surprisingly, John's grades foundered. Teachers and classmates were puzzled by his detachment and odd, almost mechanical responses. However atypical, Robison's behavior had a significant upside: he was exceptionally proficient with machines, circuits, and other systems. At the time, however, nobody recognized that he had Asperger's syndrome, a still controversial condition on the autistic spectrum. In fact, it was not until he was 40 that Robison was properly diagnosed. This unconventional, sometimes hilarious memoir reveals Asperger's as a fascinating human condition, not a horrifying psychological malady.

Publishers Weekly

Although this memoir deals with some dark topics-including Asperger's syndrome, family alcoholism and mental illness-debut author Robison maintains a keen humor and sense of dramatic irony throughout. The gravelly voiced Robison proves to be a capable storyteller, whether describing the pranks he used to play on his much younger brother (Augusten Burroughs, who reads his foreword) or the relief of finally being diagnosed with Asperger's in middle age after a lifetime of social isolation and relatively odd behaviors. Robison is a vocal and emphatic advocate for Asperger's, which he insists is not a disease but a different-and sometimes better-neurology. Asperger's gave Robison a single-minded ability to focus on his love of electronics, giving him a place in the world as the wizard behind Kiss's smoking and flaming guitars or, later in life, a gift for diagnosing and fixing high-end imported cars. This memoir is highly entertaining and the abridgment is smoothly edited. Simultaneous release with the Crown hardcover (Reviews, July 9). (Oct.)

More Reviews (1) Fewer Reviews

From The Critics

First-time writer Robison diagnosed himself with Asperger's syndrome after receiving Tony Attwood's groundbreaking work on the subject from a therapist friend ten years ago. In his well-written and fascinating memoir, the fifty-something brother of Augusten Burroughs (Running with Scissors) addresses the difficultly of growing up in a household with an abusive and alcoholic father, the social problems he encountered at school, and his great affinity for mechanics. It made no difference that he lacked a high school diploma-Robison's natural skills landed him work as an automobile restorer, Milton Bradley engineer, and stagehand responsible for the pyrotechnic guitars used by rock band KISS in the late 1970s. Despite these successes, the author suffered social difficulties while developing his ability to connect with and understand machines, a thread that is explored in great detail. If there is a drawback here, it is that readers do not get a strong sense of how his self-diagnosis impacted his life. But even among the growing number of books written by those diagnosed later in life, this entry is easily recommended for public and academic libraries with autism collections. [See Prepub Alert, LJ5/15/07.]
—Corey Seeman

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780307395986
Publisher: Crown Publishing Group
Publication date: 9/25/2007
Pages: 304
Sales rank: 312,054
Product dimensions: 6.37 (w) x 9.52 (h) x 1.14 (d)

Meet the Author

John Elder Robison

JOHN ELDER ROBISON lives with his wife and son in Amherst, Massachusetts. His company, J E Robison Service, repairs and restores fine European automobiles.

Read an Excerpt

Look Me in the Eye

My Life with Asperger's

By John Elder Robison

Three Rivers Press

Copyright © 2008 John Elder Robison
All right reserved.
ISBN: 9780307396181

1

A Little Misfit

It was inconceivable to me that there could be more than one way to play in the dirt, but there it was. Doug couldn't get it right. And that's why I whacked him. Bang! On both ears, just like I saw on The Three Stooges. Being three years old was no excuse for disorderly play habits.

For example, I would use my mother's kitchen spoon to scoop out a ditch. Then, I would carefully lay out a line of blue blocks. I never mixed my food, and I never mixed my blocks. Blue blocks went with blue blocks, and red blocks with red ones. But Doug would lean over and put a red block on top of the blue ones.

Couldn't he see how wrong that was?

After I had whacked him, I sat back down and played. Correctly.

Sometimes, when I got frustrated with Doug, my mother would walk over and yell at me. I don't think she ever saw the terrible things he did. She just saw me whack him. I could usually ignore her, but if my father was there, too, he would get really mad and shake me, and then I would cry.

Most of the time, I liked Doug. He was my first friend. But some of the things he did were just too much for me to handle. I would park my truck by a log, and he would kick dirt on it. Our moms would giveus blocks, and he would heap his in a sloppy pile and then giggle about it. It drove me wild.

Our playdates came to an abrupt end the following spring. Doug's father graduated from medical school and they moved far, far away to an Indian reservation in Billings, Montana. I didn't really understand that he could leave despite my wishes to the contrary. Even if he didn't know how to play correctly, he was my only regular playmate. I was sad.

I asked my mother about him each time we went to the park, where I now played alone. "I'm sure he'll send you a postcard," my mother said, but she had a funny look on her face, and I didn't know what to make of it. It was troubling.

I did hear the mothers whispering, but I never knew what they meant.

". . . drowned in an irrigation ditch . . ."

". . . the water was only six inches deep . . ."

". . . must have fallen on his face . . ."

". . . his mother couldn't see him, so she went outside and found him there . . ."

What is an irrigation ditch? I wondered. All I could figure out was, they weren't talking about me. I had no idea Doug was dead until years later.

Looking back, maybe my friendship with Doug wasn't the best omen. But at least I stopped whacking other kids. Somehow I figured out that whacking does not foster lasting friendship.

That fall, my mother enrolled me at Philadelphia's Mulberry Tree Nursery School. It was a small building with kids' drawings on the walls and a dusty playground enclosed with a chain-link fence. It was the first place where I was thrown together with children I didn't know. It didn't go well.

At first, I was excited. As soon as I saw the other kids, I wanted to meet them. I wanted them to like me. But they didn't. I could not figure out why. What was wrong with me? I particularly wanted to make friends with a little girl named Chuckie. She seemed to like trucks and trains, just like me. I knew we must have a lot in common.

At recess, I walked over to Chuckie and patted her on the head. My mother had shown me how to pet my poodle on the head to make friends with him. And my mother petted me sometimes, too, especially when I couldn't sleep. So as far as I could tell, petting worked. All the dogs my mother told me to pet had wagged their tails. They liked it. I figured Chuckie would like it, too.

Smack! She hit me!

Startled, I ran away. That didn't work, I said to myself. Maybe I have to pet her a little longer to make friends. I can pet her with a stick so she can't smack me. But the teacher intervened.

"John, leave Chuckie alone. We don't hit people with sticks."

"I wasn't hitting her. I was trying to pet her."

"People aren't dogs. You don't pet them. And you don't use sticks."

Chuckie eyed me warily. She stayed away for the rest of the day. But I didn't give up. Maybe she likes me and doesn't know it, I thought. My mother often told me I would like things I thought I wouldn't, and sometimes she was right.

The next day, I saw Chuckie playing in the big sandbox with a wooden truck. I knew a lot about trucks. And I knew she wasn't playing with her truck correctly. I would show her the right way. She will admire me and we will be friends, I thought. I walked over to her and took the truck away and sat down.

"Miss Laird! John took my truck!"

That was fast!

"I did not! I was showing her how to play with it! She was doing it wrong!" But Miss Laird believed Chuckie, not me. She led me away and gave me a truck of my own. Chuckie didn't follow. But tomorrow was another day. Tomorrow, I would succeed in making friends.

When tomorrow came, I had a new plan. I would talk to Chuckie. I would tell her about dinosaurs. I knew a lot about dinosaurs, because my father took me to the museum and showed me. Sometimes I had scary dreams about them, but overall, dinosaurs were the most interesting thing I knew of.

I walked over to Chuckie and sat down.

"I like dinosaurs. My favorite is the brontosaurus. He's really big."

Chuckie did not respond.

"He's really big but he just eats plants. He eats grass and trees.

"He has a long neck and a long tail."

Silence.

"He's as big as a bus.

"But an allosaurus can eat him."

Chuckie still didn't say anything. She looked intently at the ground, where she was drawing in the sand.

"I went to see the dinosaurs at the museum with my dad.

"There were little dinosaurs, too.

"I really like dinosaurs. They're neat!"

Chuckie got up and went inside. She had completely ignored me!

I looked down at the ground where she had been staring. What was she looking at that was so interesting? There was nothing there.

All my attempts to make friends had failed. I was a failure. I began to cry. Alone in the corner of the playground, I sobbed and smashed the toy truck into the ground again and again and again, until my hands hurt too much to do it anymore.

At the end of recess, I was still there, sitting by myself. Staring into the dirt. Too humiliated to face the other kids. Why don't they like me? What's wrong with me? That was where Miss Laird found me.

"It's time to go back inside." She grabbed my little paw and towed me in. I wanted to roll up in a ball and disappear.

Recently, one of my friends read the passage above and said, "Shit, John, you're still that way now." He's right. I am. The only real difference is that I have learned what people expect in common social situations. So I can act more normal and there's less chance I'll offend anyone. But the difference is still there, and it always will be.

People with Asperger's or autism often lack the feelings of empathy that naturally guide most people in their interactions with others. That's why it never occurred to me that Chuckie might not respond to petting in the same way a dog would. The difference between a small person and a medium-sized dog was not really clear to me. And it never occurred to me that there might be more than one way to play with a toy truck, so I could not understand why she objected to my showing her.

The worst of it was, my teachers and most other people saw my behavior as bad when I was actually trying to be kind. My good intentions made the rejection by Chuckie all the more painful. I'd watched my parents talk to other grown-ups and I figured I could talk to Chuckie. But I had overlooked one key thing: Successful conversations require a give and take between both people. Being Aspergian, I missed that. Totally.

I never interacted with Chuckie again.

I stopped trying with any of the kids. The more I was rejected, the more I hurt inside and the more I retreated.

I had better luck dealing with grown-ups. My disjointed replies didn't bring the conversation to an abrupt halt. And I tended to listen to them more than I listened to kids, because I assumed they knew more. Grown-ups did grown-up things. They didn't play with toys, so I didn't have to show them how to play. If I tried to pet a grown-up with a stick, he'd take it away. He wouldn't humiliate me by yelling and running to the teacher. Grown-ups explained things to me, so I learned from them. Kids weren't so good at that.

Most of the time, I played by myself, with my toys. I liked the more complex toys, especially blocks and Lincoln Logs. I still remember the taste of Lincoln Logs. When I wasn't chewing them, I made forts and houses and fences. When I got a little bigger, I got an Erector Set. I was very proud of that. I built my first machines with the Erector Set.

Machines were never mean to me. They challenged me when I tried to figure them out. They never tricked me, and they never hurt my feelings. I was in charge of the machines. I liked that. I felt safe around them. I also felt safe around animals, most of the time. I petted other people's dogs when we went to the park. When I got my poodle, I made friends with him, too.

"Look what your grandpa Jack sent you, John Elder!" (My parents named me John Elder Robison to honor my great-grandpa John Glenn Elder, who died before I was born.) My dad had brought home a wooly, ill-tempered, and probably genetically defective dog, most likely a reject from some dog pound. But I didn't know that. I was fascinated. He growled at me and wet the floor when my father put him down.

I wasn't scared of him, because he was considerably smaller than me. I had not yet learned that sharp teeth can come in small packages.

"Poodles are very smart dogs," my father told me.

Maybe he was smart, but he wasn't very friendly. I named him Poodle, beginning a long tradition of functional pet naming. I didn't really know what to do with a dog, and I was always squeezing him and grabbing his tail and yanking in an effort to figure that out. He bit me whenever I yanked too hard. Sometimes he bit hard enough to make my arms bleed, and I would cry. Years later, I told that story to my mother, who said, "John Elder, Poodle never bit you hard enough to make your arms bleed! If he had, that would have been the end of Poodle in our house." All I could say to that was "Little bites are a big deal to little people." And that's how I remember it.

Once, I locked him in my room and he got out. He chewed a dog-sized hole in the bedroom door. We found him lying in the sun in the backyard.

Seeing that, I tried chewing the door myself. My teeth barely made a dent in the paint. I didn't even manage to bite a splinter out of the wood. I realized that Poodle had very sharp teeth. I learned to put my toys away before I went to bed every night. If I forgot, Poodle would come in during the night and eat them.

My parents didn't like Poodle because he ate their furniture. Despite that, Poodle and I slowly became friends. I was always a little wary of him, though, because I never knew what he'd do.

Our home wasn't very happy. The dog ate my toys and snapped, and my parents always fought. One night, I awoke to them yelling at each other in the next room. They often fought at night when they thought I was asleep. It was always stressful and unsettling to me, but this time was different. My mother was crying in addition to yelling. She didn't usually cry.

"Momma!" I yelled loud to make sure she heard me.

"It's okay, John Elder, go to sleep." She came in and patted me on the head, but she went right back out.

I didn't like that at all. Usually, she sat with me, and petted me, and sang to me till I fell asleep. Where did she go? What's going on?

The loud fights were disturbing because I was sure they were fighting about me, and I knew if they got tired of me they could just leave me somewhere to fend for myself. I thought, I have to be really good, so they won't get rid of me.

So I tried to be very quiet and act asleep. I figured that's what they expected.

"He'll go back to sleep," my mother said, quietly. Hearing that, I was wide awake, and even more scared.

"No, he won't," my father cried. "He'll remember this night when he's forty." And then he started sobbing, too. Anything that made both of them cry must be very, very bad.

"Daddy! Don't make Momma cry!" I could not help myself. I wanted to hide under the bed but I knew they'd find me. I was terrified.

My mother came back in and sang softly to me, but she sounded funny. After a few minutes, though, I fell into a troubled sleep.

Much later, I learned that my father had been having an affair with a secretary from the German department at the university where he was studying. My mother told me she looked just like her. I guess the affair unraveled that night, and my parents' marriage unraveled some more, too. That was when my father started to turn mean.

When I woke up the next morning, he was still in bed. He wasn't at school. "Your father is tired," my mother said. "He's resting." I walked over to him. He smelled normal, and he was snoring. I left him alone and my mother walked me to school like she always did.

From the Hardcover edition.

Continues...

Excerpted from Look Me in the Eye by John Elder Robison Copyright © 2008 by John Elder Robison. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

Author's Note     ix
Foreword   Augusten Burroughs     xi
Prologue     1
A Little Misfit     7
A Permanent Playmate     19
Empathy     29
A Trickster Is Born     35
I Find a Porsche     43
The Nightmare Years     51
Assembly Required     59
The Dogs Begin to Fear Me     69
I Drop Out of High School     85
Collecting the Trash     95
The Flaming Washtub     101
I'm in Prison with the Band     113
The Big Time     125
The First Smoking Guitar     133
The Ferry to Detroit     143
One with the Machine     151
Rock and Roll All Night     155
A Real Job     171
A Visit from Management     181
Logic vs. Small Talk     189
Being Young Executives     195
Becoming Normal     207
I Get a Bear Cub     219
A Diagnosis at Forty     233
Montagoonians     241
Units One Through Three     247
Married Life     253
Winning at Basketball     259
My Life as a Train     265
Epilogue     273
Acknowledgments     283
Reading and Resources     285

Reading Group Guide

1. Recent studies indicate that autism affects 1 of every 150 people, or 1 of every 50 families. Do you know people who exhibit any of the traits Robison describes in his book? What do you notice about the way they interact with the world?

2. As a child growing up without a diagnosis, Robison was sometimes called names or labeled “deviant.” Knowing why he was different than others might have helped smooth his way. Today, more children are being diagnosed with Asperger’s than ever before. Discuss the advantages of early diagnosis. Might there also be disadvantages? How does a label affect how we treat someone? How does it affect the way we see ourselves?

3. “Different” kids like Robison are often teased or bullied at school. Does Robison’s story give you any ideas for preventing or stopping that behavior?

4. How would you describe Robison’s childhood? How did his parents contribute to the feelings of loneliness he suffered? How did the birth of his brother change his life?

5. Describe logical empathy. Does it differ from the kind of empathy that most people who don’t have Asperger’s syndrome feel? In Chapter 3, on page 32, Robison writes, “I cannot help thinking, based on the evidence, that many people who exhibit dramatic reactions to bad news involving strangers are hypocrites.” Do you think that’s true?

6. Robison describes the way his Asperger’s sometimes causes him to display inappropriate expressions. For example, he might smile when many people would frown. Have you known people whose facial expressions struck you as odd or overly blank? How did it make you feel, and how did you interpret their behavior?

7. In Chapter 6, “The Nightmare Years,” Robison writes about the new names he chooses for his parents with Dr. Finch’s help. What do they reveal about the family dynamic?

8. Robison describes his struggles in school, which culminated in his being invited to drop out. How might the school system have accommodated him?

9. As a teenager, Robison listened to older people ridicule his dreams of joining a band, yet he did it anyway and became very successful. What might have caused Robison to follow his heart despite contrary advice from friends and family? Did he know something they didn’t, or was it just luck that he succeeded?

10. Why does Robison pull what he calls “pranks”? Did any of them make you uncomfortable? In general, do you think pranks are a legitimate way for children or teenagers to express excess energy or frustration?

11. In Chapter 16, “One with the Machine,” Robison says, “Sometimes I think I can relate better to a good machine than any kind of person.” Discuss the reasons he gives for his affinity. Why might a person find comfort in machinery but not in people?

12. In the same chapter, Robison describes being “the brain of the lighting system” at a rock concert, which requires intense focus and concentration. “You must develop a sixth sense for your system, to feel how it’s doing, to be really great,” he writes. When you engage in an activity you love or at which you excel, are there times when you feel the almost magical sense of focus Robison describes? How is that state of mind different from ordinary consciousness?

13. Despite career advice from music industry insiders, Robison doesn’t want to move to a city. Compare the life he experiences when he’s on tour with KISS to his life back in Shutesbury. Why might the idea of living in a city be intimidating to someone with Asperger’s?

14. Robison describes life on the road with bands in the 1970s. Do you think the experience of traveling with a band would be the same today? Would the experience of traveling with a band be similar to that of traveling with another performing group like a theater company or circus?

15. bison writes that he can’t smile on command. How often do you smile “on command” whether you want to or not? How would not being able to automatically produce the expected facial expression make your work life more difficult? Your personal life?

16. As he explains in Chapter 20, “Logic vs. Small Talk,” Robison is also unable to perform the little verbal niceties that often pass for conversation. Questions like “How’s your wife?” or “Have you lost weight?” don’t occur to him when speaking with friends or acquaintances. Do you remember how you first learned to make small talk? Have you ever struggled with it? Are there any conventions of small talk that strike you as peculiar?

17. Robison describes himself as being very direct, and indeed that is a trait of people with Asperger’s. He says that’s both good and bad because some people appreciate directness while others are offended. What are some situations where directness would be of benefit, and where might it be a disadvantage? Why?

18. After his time with KISS and other rock ’n’ roll bands, Robison moved into the corporate world.What did he like about his job with Milton Bradley? What didn’t he like? How did he feel about his position in management? What made him decide to leave a financially comfortable life as an executive for the uncertainty of starting his own business?

19. Robison has described a number of ways in which he differs from other people. In Chapter 22, “Becoming Normal,” he writes about his transition from “Aspergian misfit” to “seeming almost normal.” How did his differences help him in operating his car business? How might they have hampered him?

20. What kind of father is Robison? How is he different from his own parents? Did anything in Chapter 23, “I Get a Bear Cub,” strike you as funny? How is “Cubby” like his father? How is he different?

21. In Chapter 24, “A Diagnosis at Forty,” Robison meets an insightful therapist who helps him realize that he has Asperger’s syndrome. What effect does this discovery have on Robison?

22. t times Robison calls his little brother Varmint and his wife Unit Two. Discuss Robison’s habit of renaming people. Why do you think he sometimes avoids people’s given names?

23. Discuss Robison’s relationship with his wife, Martha. What special challenges might exist in a marriage to someone with Asperger’s? What benefits?

24. In Chapter 26, “Units One Through Three,” Robison writes about choosing Martha over her two sisters, and about the impossibility of being certain that one has made the best possible choice in life. Do you think there is such a thing as a “best sister”? In the book, Martha answers with “depends what you want her for.” How would you answer that question?

25. When choosing a mate, we confront many pieces of folk wisdom, one of which is: Marry someone who’s similar to you; your shared interests will keep you together. An equally popular piece of advice is: Marry someone who’s different from you. Variety is the spice of life and opposites attract. Do you think a person with Asperger’s would do well to find a spouse who has Asperger’s too? Or would that person fare better with a spouse who doesn’t have Asperger’s? What might be the advantages and disadvantages of each?

26. What do you think of Robison’s writing style? Do you notice any quirks in the way he expresses himself that might have to do with Asperger’s syndrome

27. If you met someone tomorrow who acted a bit strange or eccentric, how might the insights from this story affect how you responded to that person?

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Anonymous

Posted December 9, 2008

An Opening of My Eyes

As a swim and triathlon coach for disabled kids, 'Look Me In the Eye', served as an eye opener for me. Reading John's story, of his uncontrollable, odd habits- nick-naming people he commonly was exposed to, blurting out at what could have been seen as the worst moments, avoiding eye contact at all costs, and digging holes, only to stick his younger brother into them, enabled me to better connect to my students and maybe from my work with them, I was able to better connect to the book. Being known as a "social deviant" though oddly intelligent, wasn't per say the correct classification for John, which one could conclude after reading the book. 'Look Me In the Eye - My Life With Asperger's' proved to be hysterically funny at times, though often a sense of dark humor, but was able to pull the strings to your emotions as well. The book follows John's life from his hilairious childhood to his diagnosis (which he didn't reach until the age of forty) with Asperger's sydrome (a form of autism) into his journey of creating a family of his own and following his dreams of building guitars for the band KISS. I really enjoyed this book, the connections which I was able to make to it, and its' ability to pull on my emotions yet make me laugh a few pages later. My only complaint is that the book drew out, and was a little bit slow and hard to get through in the middle pages. This book should definitely be read by anyone (like myself) whom works with disabled children, any parent, as well as any teacher. I've never read a book quite like this, and thus have no further recommendations but my overall rating of this book is excellent! Enjoy!

7 out of 7 people found this review helpful.
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JennyD525

Posted April 7, 2010

Perfect Insight

I am a school teacher and have been around autism all of my life. My uncle has autism. 'Look Me In The Eye' gives you insight of the life of a boy and a man living with autism. John Elder Robison seems at the upper (higher functioning) end of the autism spectrum. Mr. Robison's way of telling his life story is phenomenal. I had trouble putting the book down. The insight that he gives about someone with autism is great. If you know anyone with autism or are in a profession that may have to deal with autism, this is definitely a book to read.

2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.
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Anonymous

Posted January 10, 2010

Definitely an interesting read

When I first learned that I had to read a nonfiction book as part of an English project, I was a little less than thrilled, as I generally do not enjoy nonfiction reading. However, I was actually a bit excited to read Look Me in the Eye, since I have an interest in the topic of psychological disorders. I thought that I would find the memoir of a man with Asperger's Syndrome to be quite interesting. As I read John Elder Robison's memoir, I realized that my prediction was correct. I was fascinated by the descriptions of his thought process, entertained by stories of his antics, and saddened by some of the recollections from his rough childhood. His memoir was truly an eye opener for me; it allowed me to get a taste of what it would be like to be inside the head of an Aspergian. Reading this memoir made me think about some of the things that the average person takes for granted, such as the abilities to hold conversations, make friends, and simply look people in the eye. People had the tendency to label Robison as a "misfit" when he was a child, because he did not posses the aforementioned abilities, though he eventually learned how to adapt to the norms of society. Nevertheless, he still felt eccentric throughout much of his life, up until the point of his diagnosis at the age of forty. Despite the fact that he had Asperger's, Robison was able to accomplish a variety of things in life that most "normal" people could only dream of doing. By the end of the book, I felt proud of him and his accomplishments and began to wonder if I've ever encountered an Aspergian. His memoir made me have a better appreciation for what I have now and a better understanding of people with disorders. I would definitely recommend Look Me in the Eye for anybody who has ever wondered what it would be like in the mind of someone with any kind of disorder. It's certainly an interesting read.

2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.
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BaileyT7E

Posted April 8, 2009

A Book That Makes You Smile and Cry

People with Aspergers see the world differently than you and me. I read a memoir, called Look Me in the Eye by John Elder Robinson. It is a great book, I would recommend to adult readers. The story is about a boy named John Elder Robison who lives his life not knowing he has Aspergers. John Elder struggles to socialize correctly and doesn't know why he can't make friends. As Entertainment Weekly newspaper says, "Growing up was a mystifying experience for John Elder Robison, a bright kid unable to grasp even the most basic social skills - a condition he later learned was a form of autism called Aspergers." Aspergers is a form of autism mostly affecting the person's social skills. I really liked the part where John is a little boy and decides to name his little brother "Varmint. I really did like this book but I would not recommend it to young readers. I don't think that this would be a good book for young readers because it is slow and not very action packed and some of the content, it could get boring for some readers.

2 out of 4 people found this review helpful.
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RenceBorr

Posted February 10, 2009

Highly Recommended

This book is a quick read showing the internal struggles of someone with this disease as only someone on the "inside" can do. It was a great eye-opener for me, especially to hear what the author is thinking and the way information is "mis-translated" by his brain to our ears. I learned so much and it increased my patience when dealing with others. I applaud this man for writing about his experiences with wit and good humor and thank him for helping me to understand. If you are at all on the fence about reading this book, read it. You will be amazed.

2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.
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buryuntime

Posted December 2, 2008

I Also Recommend:

Very Good

I really enjoyed reading this book. It gave me an idea of what someone with Asperger's goes through and how they think. The book never once seemed slow and was very entertaining. I would recommend this book to anyone who wants to know more about Aspergers and autism.

2 out of 3 people found this review helpful.
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Anonymous

Posted November 4, 2007

Hilarious & Heartfelt

An intimate and detailed emotional journey, `look me in the eye¿, is a well written, compassionate, deeply moving story that will have the reader laughing out loud on one page and on the verge of tears the next. Robison reveals what life was like growing up with an abusive, alcoholic father and his mentally ill mother. As a result of his inability to communicate appropriately, blurting out non sequiturs, and several other socially unacceptable behaviors, he was labeled a deviant. He found comfort with machinery. Dismantling and repairing various machines would lead to incredible employment opportunities, developing toys for Milton Bradley and guitars for the hard hitting rock group KISS and later for Pink Floyd. His life would be forever altered when, at the age of forty he was diagnosed with asperger¿s syndrome, a mild form of autism. Look Me In The Eye is much more than a memoir or biography-- Robison lifts the curtain and shines an unflinching light on life with asperger¿s syndrome. Well written and original, this heartfelt journey is a fascinating and entertaining read that will remain with the reader long after the book is returned to the shelf. Personally, I had only the briefest understanding of asperger's syndrome - however, this book has not only defined, with pinpoint accuracy the medical jargon, but the author allowed me a front row seat, with an unfiltered view of how his mind operates, the things that caused him difficulties and how he has learned to deal with each and made a comfortable life for himself and his family. Stunning! Happy Reading!

2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.
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Anonymous

Posted February 27, 2011

Loved it!!!

There are so many books on the subject of Aspergers but not many written from someone who actually has it, which is what I LOVED about this. I can read the manuals and guides, but they never discuss why my son, who's on the spectrum, does some of the things he does. I found myself relating to so much of what John Elder discusses in his book and saying, 'Wow, my son does that, too.' and realizing that so much of what my child does is because of his ASD and not because he is trying to be difficult.

I am thankful for the author's decision (and his brother's)to share his story with us. He has led a remarkable life and I hope he continues to share his numerous gifts with the rest of us!!!

1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.
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Anonymous

Posted June 2, 2010

Loved it!

I had only heard of Asperger's and this book was my opportunity to learn more. I was drawn inside the mind of someone who has a very different way of thinking and looking at things. The narrator's train of thoughts, though hilarious at times, is always very logical. Some of his personal struggles are easy to relate to if you have ever been misunderstood by people around you.

1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.
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Anonymous

Posted December 12, 2009

Highly Recommend!

I am a mother of four and I don't have much time to spend on leisurely reading. However, this book caught my interest from the moment I began reading. It is written in the most human, wonderful fashion. It just drew me in. I do have a compelling interest to read the book as I see many Asperger's like traits in my father's side of the family (although undiagnosed) and it was eye-opening to read into the world of someone who has Asberger's and has developed a successful career despite the sometimes socially crippling aspects of the diagnosis. FANTASTIC READ!!!

1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.
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Robin_R

Posted October 14, 2009

As entertaining as it is informative

This book is touching, funny, and informative. I picked it up at Sam's Club because it looked better than the fiction on the next shelf -- I was not disappointed. An enjoyable read that also gave me insight into the ups and downs of life with Aspergers.

1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.
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JennGrrl

Posted April 18, 2009

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If only more people would read this...

I picked this up out of curiousity after having read Daniel Tammett's book. I was by far NOT disappointed!

John very candidly writes about living with undiagnosed Asperger's, and what it was like being on the autistic spectrum, but not being aware of it. It wasn't until later in life that a good friend suggested he might by an Aspergian, and he finally had a diagnosis.

This opened by eyes to those people in our lives who might be eccentric or different, and that they might not be that way just because they're weird. They might genuinely not understand the outside world as I understand it, and maybe just need some patience on my part for us to understand each other.

If you have a child who you suspect or know to be an Aspergian...read this book! It's proof that just because your child, or really any person, might be a bit different, it doesn't mean they can't make their way in the world.

1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.
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Anonymous

Posted May 28, 2008

Eye Opening

As a mother of an Aspergian, John's amazing recollect of childhood thought processes enlightened my understanding of my own child. Everyone must read this book!!!!

1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.
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Anonymous

Posted January 26, 2012

Good book to read if you are the parent of a child with Aspergers

I am reading this book to become a better parent. I have just two chapters left! The book has achieved it's purpose for me -- to gain perspective and empathy for my 10 year old son who has Aspergers. I am trying to see the world as he sees it, so that I can help him navigate through his childhood and toward a life as a well adjusted, happy, productive adult with meaningful friendships and social connections. If my son did not have Aspergers, I would most likely not have purchased this book. For me, this book is helpful. This is the first e-book that I've purchased, and I am dismayed that there are no folios, and I cannot easily tell how long the book is and how far I have progressed. I had to scroll to the end of the book to figure out that I only have 2 chapters left!
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Anonymous

Posted January 19, 2012

Insight book

Great book, and as a person with this disorder/condition it was nice to finally read a book that made me understand myself and the disorder a lot better
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Kimberly_Book_Addict

Posted January 5, 2012

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Must read for society.

As a fan of author Augusten Burroughs’ memoir Running with Scissors, I’ve always had a fascination with learning more about him and his odd upbringing. In Running with Scissors he discusses his older brother who was a bit of an oddity as a child. Later in life it’s discovered that his brother, John Elder, has a form of autism better known as Asperger’s. Look Me In the Eye is John Elder’s memoir about his life with this disease and how he overcame its limitations to find success in life.

Growing up in a childhood that would barely be considered habitable by most standards, John Elder Robinson traveled through childhood with a feeling of detachment and awkwardness. For all he knew, he just wanted to make the other kids like him. Unfortunately for him, however, the things that thought were completely acceptable happened to make the other kids view him as strange and awkward. Not letting this deter him, Robinson attempted to learn to change his behavior to suit his environment and view his social experiences objectively. These same analytical skills served him well later on in his life, as Robinson developed an aptitude for all things mechanical and eventually went on to design famous flaming guitars for KISS. After being diagnosed with Asperger’s at 40, Robinson looks back at his life with a new perspective and new insight into his life.

As someone who has grown up with a learning disability, I can relate to Robison’s depiction of society and their views on individuals that are different from the “mainstream”. When I was a child, I found that at times I felt like I needed to respond to the social clues around me instead of instinctively being able to mesh with my peers. Additionally, I was amazed by the fantastic amount of emotion that Robison was able to convey in his writing, all with a diagnosis that apparently prevents him from being able to do just that. His descriptions of his despair, anger, and longing as a child, his pride and joy in succeeding in his professional life, and especially his amazement at finding love and beginning a family were all fantastic to read. It’s not that people with Asperger’s are incapable of feeling; the lack of the ability to express these emotions doesn’t mean that they don’t feel each and every one of them. Robison’s ability to tell us what he felt in all of these particular situations in amazing detail is testament to his awesome talents as a writer and the wonderful life he has lived thus far.

The book is fabulously written, giving readers an insight into what it’s like for someone with Asperger’s. If you know someone who suffers from a form of autism I highly suggest giving this book a read; it might help you to understand what it’s like inside their mind, offering up a stronger relationship between you.

Kimberly (Reflections of a Book Addict)
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Anonymous

Posted December 25, 2011

Brilliant

Robison does not disappoint. His style is fantastic; flowing smoothly and simple, but not lacking. This memoir is an eye-opener that many would benefit from reading.
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4060072

Posted September 17, 2011

A good book!

I have just finished this book and I cant wait to read "Running with scissors." I enjoyed this book and it really took you in to the way a person with Autism acts. At some points the things that were going on in the book made me go " whats going on" but then I had to stop and remined who wrote the book. The book is deffinatly a book you want to read about, learn or try and understand alittle more about Aspergers Syndrome.
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jdreher1

Posted July 2, 2011

Good read!

I liked this book! I also read the authors brothers book....'Running with Scissors'....I suggest reading both!
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5955246

Posted May 12, 2011

UGH

This book i have just finally stopped reading before the end. Absolutely dreadful. This book dragged on and on about what little brother could do wirhout understanding the reasoning behind it. Im sorry, i sont care who worked with Kiss and who made pyrotechnics for groups. I am very disappointed in this book. I wouldve liked to have heard more about his disease and not how many friggin guitars he exploded. I had to stop and il moving on to another book. I hate to do that but this crap was putting me to sleep.

0 out of 3 people found this review helpful.
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Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger's

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Meet the Author

John Elder Robison

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Look Me in the Eye

Three Rivers Press

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Rating Distribution

An Opening of My Eyes

Perfect Insight

Definitely an interesting read

A Book That Makes You Smile and Cry

Highly Recommended

Very Good

Hilarious & Heartfelt

Loved it!!!

Loved it!

Highly Recommend!

As entertaining as it is informative

If only more people would read this...

Eye Opening

Good book to read if you are the parent of a child with Aspergers

Insight book

Must read for society.

Brilliant

A good book!

Good read!

UGH