Lords and Ladies (Discworld Series #14)

Lords and Ladies (Discworld Series #14)

4.4 53
by Terry Pratchett
     
 

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Although they may feature witches and wizards, vampires and dwarves, along with the occasional odd human, Terry Pratchett's bestselling Discworld novels are grounded firmly in the modern world. Taking humorous aim at all our foibles, each novel reveals our true character and nature.

It's a dreamy midsummer's night in the Kingdom of Lancre. But music and

Overview

Although they may feature witches and wizards, vampires and dwarves, along with the occasional odd human, Terry Pratchett's bestselling Discworld novels are grounded firmly in the modern world. Taking humorous aim at all our foibles, each novel reveals our true character and nature.

It's a dreamy midsummer's night in the Kingdom of Lancre. But music and romance aren't the only things filling the air. Magic and mischief are afoot, threatening to spoil the royal wedding of King Verence and his favorite witch, Magrat Garlick. Invaded by some Fairie Trash, soon it won't be only champagne that's flowing through the streets ...

Editorial Reviews

Roland Green
This particularly excellent example of Pratchett's Discworld tales tackles the subject of elves. These elves present the image of being cute only to deceive humans. In fact, they are about as agreeable as Hitler's SS. So when a bunch of them decides to crash an entire human kingdom and all its activities, problems arise. The solution is Granny Weatherwax and the witches she leads, who are not exactly nice people, either, exhibiting, as they do, positive glee in slaughtering elves. When applied to as large a body count as this novel affords, Pratchett's light tone is a little unsettling, but otherwise the book is a superior example of Pratchett's inimitable, seemingly endlessly fertile wit. Discworld's loyal readers are beginning to constitute as doughty a band as Xanth's, and all fantasy collections should provide for them accordingly.

Product Details

ISBN-13:
9780061807527
Publisher:
HarperCollins Publishers
Publication date:
10/13/2009
Series:
Discworld Series
Sold by:
HARPERCOLLINS
Format:
NOOK Book
Pages:
384
Sales rank:
51,067
File size:
504 KB

Read an Excerpt

Now read on ...

When does it start?

There are very few starts. Oh, some things seem to be beginnings. The curtain goes up, the first pawn moves, the first shot is fired*—but that's not the start. The play, the game, the war is just a little window on a ribbon of events that may extend back thousands of years. The point is, there's always something before. It's always a case of Now Read On.

Much human ingenuity has gone into finding the ultimate Before.

The current state of knowledge can be summarized thus: In the beginning, there was nothing, which exploded.

Other theories about the ultimate start involve gods creating the universe out of the ribs, entrails, and testicles of their father. There are quite a lot of these. They are interesting, not for what they tell you about cosmology, but for what they say about people. Hey, kids, which part do you think they made your town out of?

But this story starts on the Discworld, which travels through space on the back of four giant elephants which stand on the shell of an enormous turtle and is not made of any bits of anyone's bodies.

But when to begin?

Thousands of years ago? When a great hot cascade of stones came screaming out of the sky, gouged a hole out of Copperhead Mountain, and flattened the forest for ten miles around?

The dwarfs dug them up, because they were made of a kind of iron, and dwarfs, contrary to general opinion, love iron more than gold. It's just that although there's more iron than gold it's harder to sing songs about. Dwarfs love iron.

And that's what the stones contained. The love of iron. A love so strong that it drew all ironthings to itself. The three dwarfs who found the first of the rocks only got free by struggling out of their chain-mail trousers.

Many worlds are iron, at the core. But the Discworld is as coreless as a pancake.

On the Disc, if you enchant a needle it will point to the Hub, where the magical field is strongest. It's simple.

Elsewhere, on worlds designed with less imagination, the needle turns because of the love of iron.

At the time, the dwarfs and the humans had a very pressing need for the love of iron.

And now, spool time forward for thousands of years to a point fifty years or more before the ever-moving now, to a hillside and a young woman, running. Not running away from something, exactly, or precisely running toward anything, but running just fast enough to keep ahead of a young man although, of course, not so far ahead that he'll give up. Out from the trees and into the rushy valley where, on a slight rise in the ground, are the stones.

They're about man-height, and barely thicker than a fat man.

And somehow they don't seem worth it. If there's a stone circle you mustn't go near, the imagination suggests, then there should be big brooding trilithons and ancient attar stones screaming with the dark memory of blood-soaked sacrifice. Not these dull stubby lumps.

It will turn out that she was running a bit too fast this time, and in fact the young man in laughing pursuit will get lost and fed up and will eventually wander off back to the town alone. She does not, at this point, know this, but stands absentmindedly adjusting the flowers twined in her hair. It's been that kind of afternoon.

She knows about the stones. No one ever gets told about the stones. And no one is ever told not to go there, because those who refrain from talking about the stones also know how powerful is the attraction of prohibition. It's just that going to the stones is not ... what we do. Especially if we're nice girls.

But what we have here is not a nice girl, as generally understood. For one thing, she's not beautiful. There's a

certain set to the jaw and arch to the nose that might, with a following wind and in the right light, be called handsome by a good-natured liar. Also, there's a certain glint in her eye generally possessed by those people who have found that they are more intelligent than most people around them but who haven't yet teamed that one of the most intelligent things they can do is prevent said people ever finding this out. Along with the nose, this gives her a piercing expression which is extremely disconcerting. It's not a face you can talk to. Open your mouth and you're suddenly the focus of a penetrating stare which declares: what you're about to say had better be interesting.

Now the eight little stones on their little hill are being subjected to the same penetrating gaze.

Hmm.

And then she approaches, cautiously. It's not the caution of a rabbit about to run. It's closer to the way a hunter moves.

She puts her hands on her hips, such as they are.

There's a skylark in the hot summer sky. Apart from that, there's no sound. Down in the little valley, and higher in the hills, grasshoppers are sizzling and bees are buzzing and the grass is alive with micro-noise. But it's always quiet around the stones.

"I'm here," she says. "Show me."

A figure of a dark-haired woman in a red dress appears inside the circle. The circle is wide enough to throw a stone across, but somehow the figure manages to approach from a great distance.

Other people would have run away. But the girl doesn't, and the woman in the circle is immediately interested.

Meet the Author

Sir Terry Pratchett, OBE, was the author of more than 70 books, including the internationally bestselling Discworld series of novels. His books have been adapted for stage and screen, and he was the winner of multiple prizes, including the Carnegie Medal. In January 2009, Pratchett was knighted by Queen Elizabeth II in recognition of his services to literature. Sir Terry, who lived in England, died in March 2015 at the age of 66.

Brief Biography

Hometown:
Salisbury, Wiltshire, England
Date of Birth:
April 28, 1948
Place of Birth:
Beaconsfield, Buckinghamshire, England
Education:
Four honorary degrees in literature from the universities of Portsmouth, Bristol, Bath and Warwick

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Lords and Ladies (Discworld Series) 4.4 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 53 reviews.
Captain_SmokeblowerTW More than 1 year ago
No Discworld situation requires more than three, but more probably if you put more in a coven only three survive. Fortunately, no one would suggest a fourth for Granny and Nanny, though Nanny has polished off many a fifth. This story is one of those proofs that all you need are three, well sort of. Terry Pratchett takes the tack that perhaps we're enamored by the beauty of elves, but in fact they only want to toy with us painfully and ultimately destroy us. There is no evidence his elves are like politicians, i.e. so cute you want to hug them, but you'd be better off hanging them. Oh wait, perhaps this book is the proof, or not. Read it and see.
Guest More than 1 year ago
This was very entertaining and lively, kept you moving at a brisk pace with no slow spots. It had a few surprising twists, including one I'de never seen in a fantasy book. I won't say any more or I'll give it away! Several humerous moments, as well as thrilling ones!
Guest More than 1 year ago
I've read 7 of Terry Pratchett's marvelous Discworld novels, and this is my favorite so far. Terry Pratchett has a real way with fantasy; he can mix passages of genius humor with messages of substance. This book is a particularly good example of how these novels can have you roaring with laughter one moment, and doing some real introspection the next. The man is amazing, the book is amazing. If you can, read it!
therounsevelle More than 1 year ago
I wrote a really great review for this novel and the boneheads lost it!!!!!!!!!!
mtsilence More than 1 year ago
Okay maybe not but how about another delightful romp in the land of Magic and Mayhem? This is one of those adventures.
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Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Fun and entertaining, Patchett, gives the reader a mental vacation we have been waiting for!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Terry Pratchett is a literary genius!
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Because only Terry Pratchett can write something like this and get away with it. He's an amazing author with a great sense of humor! And now that he's gone senile, the latest books are even better than before!
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