The Lost Art of Listening: How Learning to Listen Can Improve Relationships

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Overview

Why do we often feel cut off when speaking to the people closest to us family members, friends, or colleagues? What is it that keeps so many of us from really listening? Michael P. Nichols answers these questions and more in this thoughtful, witty, and helpful look at the reasons people don't hear one another. His book, a guide to the secrets of listening and being listened to, is filled with vivid examples that clearly demonstrate easy-to-learn techniques for becoming a better listener. He also illustrates how ...
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More About This Book

Overview

Why do we often feel cut off when speaking to the people closest to us family members, friends, or colleagues? What is it that keeps so many of us from really listening? Michael P. Nichols answers these questions and more in this thoughtful, witty, and helpful look at the reasons people don't hear one another. His book, a guide to the secrets of listening and being listened to, is filled with vivid examples that clearly demonstrate easy-to-learn techniques for becoming a better listener. He also illustrates how empathic listening enables us to break through misunderstandings and conflict and to transform our personal and professional relationships.

How communication breaks down/how hidden assumptions prejudice listening/how to defuse emotional reactivity/etc.

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Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly - Publisher's Weekly
What is true listening and why, the author asks, has it become a near-rarity in modern life? Nichols (Family Healing) shows how to utilize this ``art by which we use empathy to reach the space across us'' to improve and repair relationships with spouses, lovers, relatives, children, friends and colleagues, and even how to boost one's own ``listenability.'' He also explains what listening isn't, explaining why people don't listen and listing obstacles to listening (especially defensiveness owing to emotional overreaction). Humor, true-life examples and simple exercises make this a practical and even entertaining self-help guide, although Nichols can be a bit long-winded and preachy. (Mar.)
Booknews
Nichols (psychology, College of William and Mary) provides a thoughtful guide to the art of listening, addressing the reasons why we so often fail to listen attentively to others, as well as providing strategies for getting oneself heard. Clear examples demonstrate techniques for better communication in both personal and professional relationships. Lacks an index and a bibliography. Annotation c. Book News, Inc., Portland, OR (booknews.com)
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781593859862
  • Publisher: Guilford Publications, Inc.
  • Publication date: 3/9/2009
  • Edition description: Second Edition
  • Edition number: 2
  • Pages: 314
  • Sales rank: 162,840
  • Product dimensions: 5.90 (w) x 8.90 (h) x 0.90 (d)

Table of Contents

Introduction 1
Ch. 1 Did You Hear What I Said?: Why Listening is So Important 9
Ch. 2 Thanks for Listening: How Listening Shapes Us and Connects Us to Each Other 23
Ch. 3 Why Don't People Listen?: How Communication Breaks Down 37
Ch. 4 When Is It My Turn?: The Heart of Listening: The Struggle to Suspend Our Own Needs 61
Ch. 5 You Hear Only What You Want to Hear: How Hidden Assumptions Prejudice Listening 75
Ch. 6 Why Do You Always Overreact?!: How Emotionality Makes Us Defensive 88
Ch. 7 Take Your Time - I'm Listening: How To Let Go of Your Own Needs and Listen 109
Ch. 8 I Never Knew You Felt That Way: Empathy Begins with Openness 125
Ch. 9 I Can See This Is Really Upsetting You: How to Defuse Emotional Reactivity 147
Ch. 10 We Never Seem to Talk Anymore: Listening Between Intimate Partners 175
Ch. 11 Nobody Around Here Ever Listens to Me!: How to Listen and Be Heard Within the Family 196
Ch. 12 I Knew You'd Understand: Being Able to Hear Friends and Colleagues 224
Epilogue 246
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Customer Reviews

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