Love and Its Disappointment: The Meaning of Life, Therapy and Art


In Love and Its disappointment, which is rooted in common knowledge, David Brazier advances in clear and specific terms a radical and practical theory of human functioning, exploring the relationships between beauty and love, frustration and creativity, perception and healing.

Read More Show Less
... See more details below
$21.41 price
(Save 14%)$24.95 List Price

Pick Up In Store

Reserve and pick up in 60 minutes at your local store

Other sellers (Paperback)
  • All (10) from $4.28   
  • New (6) from $14.14   
  • Used (4) from $4.28   
Sending request ...


In Love and Its disappointment, which is rooted in common knowledge, David Brazier advances in clear and specific terms a radical and practical theory of human functioning, exploring the relationships between beauty and love, frustration and creativity, perception and healing.

Read More Show Less

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781846942099
  • Publisher: Psyche Books
  • Publication date: 9/23/2009
  • Pages: 240
  • Product dimensions: 5.79 (w) x 8.62 (h) x 0.50 (d)

Table of Contents

Part 1 The Theory In Context

Therapy, Love and Art 1

Theory 6

Other Centredness in Brief 10

The Influence of Carl Rogers

The Theories of Carl Rogers 13

The Concerns of Rogers' followers 15

Origin of Theory that the Necessary Condition is Love 18

Love Drive and the Actualising Tendency 21

Ego, Libido and Esteem Theory 26


Redirection or Highest Fulfilment 31

Defeat and the Fullness of Love 33

Philosophical Note 35

Part 2 The Nature of Esteem

Unconditionality-For Nothing 37

To Feel Alive 42

Esteem 45

Expression of Esteem 48

Disappointment of Love

Love Meets with Obstacles 50

The Neglected Child 54

False Guilt 55

Obstacles Though Life 57

Rogerian Ambivalence Concerning Education 60

Ideas of Self esteem, Self love and Self regard 64

Part 3 Art, Culture & Spirit

Esteem Theory and Cultural Appreciation

The Happy Artist and the Troubled Artist 68

T.S.Eliot 69

Saigyo 70

Sincerity in Art 71

Art and Goodness 74

Art as Imitation 76

Esteem and Spirituality

The Story of the Samurai Tadatsumi 78

The Story of the Prostitute of Muro 79

Sustaining Love 82

Love as Moral Progress

Non Arrival: Progress Toward Perfect Love 83

Singularity of the Love Object 87

Happiness is Not the Goal 93

The Question of Tragedy 95

Part 4 Developing Theory & Practice

Love and Different Kinds of Esteem 97

Expression of Love in a Tradition 99

Object Relations

The Client's Natural Flow 101

The Self is a Function of Other Regard 104

Object Centred Response 106

Object Centred Enquiry 110

The Pain of Love and Defending Against it 114

Dimensions of Love 117

Recognising Lovability: Perceiving anddiscerning lovable features in the other 118

Enduring Esteem: Carrying an attitude within oneself of positive esteem toward the other 119

Truth and Mystery: Respect for the other as a being who, while independent of oneself in many ways, is, as oneself, subject to conditions beyond personal control 120

Otherness: Recognising that the other is indeed other 121

Dimensions of Love Lacking as Diagnostic Categories

Enmeshment 125

Disrespect 127

Dishonesty, Resentment & Bitterness 128

Inability to perceive what is lovable in the Other 129

Part 5 Issues of Transference & Technique

Aesthetic Distance and Oestrostasis 130

A Protocol for Object Related Therapy 132

Transference: Therapist as Object

The Idea of Transference 135

The Transference Controversy in the Person-Centred

Approach 138

Transference as a Transition to (Re-)Loving 141

Building Character 143

Grief and Contrition 146

Esteem Between Therapist and Client

Modelling and Imitation 149

Response Learning 150

Techniqueless Therapy?

The Impotence of Technique 154

Technique Nonetheless 157

Staleness and Technique 162

Part 6 In Conclusion, A Glimpse of the Meaning of Life 167

Bibliography 176

Glossary 181

Index 186

Internet Access 199

Read More Show Less

Customer Reviews

Be the first to write a review
( 0 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star


4 Star


3 Star


2 Star


1 Star


Your Rating:

Your Name: Create a Pen Name or

Barnes & Review Rules

Our reader reviews allow you to share your comments on titles you liked, or didn't, with others. By submitting an online review, you are representing to Barnes & that all information contained in your review is original and accurate in all respects, and that the submission of such content by you and the posting of such content by Barnes & does not and will not violate the rights of any third party. Please follow the rules below to help ensure that your review can be posted.

Reviews by Our Customers Under the Age of 13

We highly value and respect everyone's opinion concerning the titles we offer. However, we cannot allow persons under the age of 13 to have accounts at or to post customer reviews. Please see our Terms of Use for more details.

What to exclude from your review:

Please do not write about reviews, commentary, or information posted on the product page. If you see any errors in the information on the product page, please send us an email.

Reviews should not contain any of the following:

  • - HTML tags, profanity, obscenities, vulgarities, or comments that defame anyone
  • - Time-sensitive information such as tour dates, signings, lectures, etc.
  • - Single-word reviews. Other people will read your review to discover why you liked or didn't like the title. Be descriptive.
  • - Comments focusing on the author or that may ruin the ending for others
  • - Phone numbers, addresses, URLs
  • - Pricing and availability information or alternative ordering information
  • - Advertisements or commercial solicitation


  • - By submitting a review, you grant to Barnes & and its sublicensees the royalty-free, perpetual, irrevocable right and license to use the review in accordance with the Barnes & Terms of Use.
  • - Barnes & reserves the right not to post any review -- particularly those that do not follow the terms and conditions of these Rules. Barnes & also reserves the right to remove any review at any time without notice.
  • - See Terms of Use for other conditions and disclaimers.
Search for Products You'd Like to Recommend

Recommend other products that relate to your review. Just search for them below and share!

Create a Pen Name

Your Pen Name is your unique identity on It will appear on the reviews you write and other website activities. Your Pen Name cannot be edited, changed or deleted once submitted.

Your Pen Name can be any combination of alphanumeric characters (plus - and _), and must be at least two characters long.

Continue Anonymously

    If you find inappropriate content, please report it to Barnes & Noble
    Why is this product inappropriate?
    Comments (optional)