Love and War in Intimate Relationships: Connection, Disconnection, and Mutual Regulation in Couple Therapy

Hardcover (Print)
Used and New from Other Sellers
Used and New from Other Sellers
from $22.30
Usually ships in 1-2 business days
(Save 25%)
Other sellers (Hardcover)
  • All (11) from $22.30   
  • New (8) from $22.30   
  • Used (3) from $23.88   

Overview

Neuroscience and couples therapy come together to help couples break patterns of bad behavior.
What happens between partners that makes love turn to war? How can couples therapists help deescalate the battles? Two leading therapists apply the latest neuroscience research on emotional arousal to help couples regulate each other’s emotions, maintain secure attachment, and foster positive, enduring relationships. The neurobiologically-grounded and sensitive approach set forth by Solomon and Tatkin in this book is sure to transform the way clinicians understand and treat couples in therapy.

Read More Show Less

Editorial Reviews

PsycCritiques
“For clinicians who are in search of practical examples to complement theory, the case illustrations offered by Solomon and Tatkin are a tremendous resource….[A]n easy and insightful read.”
CPA Newsletter: The Announcer
I found this book full of new ideas for me, providing me with new thoughts, feelings and skills, even though I have been practicing therapy with couples for more than three decades. Simply put, this is the most transformative book on psychotherapy I have read in a long time.
Journal of Phemonenological Psychology
“After completing the first reading of this wonderful text, this reviewer reflected that Maurice Merleau-Ponty, pioneering phenomenologist of the intersubjectively lived body, would have resonated positively to the deeply insightful thematic content and the creatively conceived experiential techniques and therapeutic experiments of this ground-scaffolding, psychobiologically informed text.”
Allan N. Schore
“This book should be part of the working library of any clinician whose practice is informed by the ongoing paradigm shift in psychotherapy.”
Harville Hendrix
“Reading this book was a sheer pleasure, and I did not skip a word. It is an artful theoretical and clinical integration with no wasted words....In this innovative couple therapy, they have documented the healing power of couples learning to take care of each other and put to rest the myth of the healing capacity of the autonomous self. I recommend this instructive book to all therapists....I hope this project gets lots of deserved attention.”
CPA Newsletter: The Announcer
“I found this book full of new ideas for me, providing me with new thoughts, feelings and skills, even though I have been practicing therapy with couples for more than three decades. Simply put, this is the most transformative book on psychotherapy I have read in a long time.”
Ellyn Bader
“What a gift! Solomon and Tatkin offer us the most illuminating and creative work on couples therapy to be published in a long time. Through a variety of cases, they artfully explain why loving partners go to war with each other and then give a fascinating demonstration of how to apply biology, physiology, attachment and arousal regulation in moment–to-moment interactions. This book will be stimulating, immediately practical and eye-opening no matter what theoretical orientation you use.”
Pat Ogden PhD
“A new lens on couple therapy, this book will revolutionize the way you work with partners and transform your view of relationships. The authors skillfully translate ideas from neuroscience, regulation theory, mindfulness, and attachment research into hopeful, practical and accessible interventions for working with the here and now experience of couples in therapy.”
Read More Show Less

Product Details

Meet the Author

Marion Solomon, Ph.D., is a lecturer at the David Geffen School of Medicine, Department of Psychiatry at UCLA, and Senior Extension faculty at the Department of Humanities, Sciences and Social Sciences at UCLA. She is also director of clinical training at the Lifespan Learning Institute and author of Narcissism and Intimacy, co-author of Short Term Therapy For Long Term Change, and co-editor of Countertransference in Couples Therapy and Healing Trauma.

Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT, developer of a Psychobiological Approach To Couple Therapy® (PACT), maintains a private practice in Calabasas, California, and runs therapist training programs in Los Angeles, San Francisco, Seattle, and Austin. As assistant clinical professor at the UCLA David Geffen School of Medicine, Department of Family Medicine, Dr. Tatkin teaches and supervises family medicine residents, and serves as adjunct faculty for several colleges and universities.

Read More Show Less

Table of Contents

Foreword Daniel J. Siegel ix

Introduction The Context xiii

Overview xv

Authors' Reflections xvi

Part I How Love Turns to War

Chapter 1 Connection and Disconnection 3

Chapter 2 The Battlefield 19

Chapter 3 Healing Wounds 34

Part II The Psychobiological Approach

Chapter 4 The Psychobiological Imperative 43

Chapter 5 The Partner Interview 53

Chapter 6 The Importance of Movement 72

Part III The Theoretical Universe

Chapter 7 Attachment 87

Chapter 8 Arousal Regulation 98

Chapter 9 Dysregulation 105

Part IV The Theory in Practice

Chapter 10 Mark and Melody: Secrets and Shame 119

Chapter 11 David and Margaret: A Sexless Marriage 140

Chapter 12 Paul and Jane: Crossed Signals 156

Chapter 13 Sibyl and Arthur: Taking Care of Each Other 175

Epilogue: Therapist Self-Care 193

Appendix A A Neurobiological Vocabulary 205

Social-Emononal Skills and Deficits 207

The Threat Response Network 215

Appendix B The Adult Attachment Interview 233

References 237

Index 257

Read More Show Less

Customer Reviews

Be the first to write a review
( 0 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star

(0)

4 Star

(0)

3 Star

(0)

2 Star

(0)

1 Star

(0)

Your Rating:

Your Name: Create a Pen Name or

Barnes & Noble.com Review Rules

Our reader reviews allow you to share your comments on titles you liked, or didn't, with others. By submitting an online review, you are representing to Barnes & Noble.com that all information contained in your review is original and accurate in all respects, and that the submission of such content by you and the posting of such content by Barnes & Noble.com does not and will not violate the rights of any third party. Please follow the rules below to help ensure that your review can be posted.

Reviews by Our Customers Under the Age of 13

We highly value and respect everyone's opinion concerning the titles we offer. However, we cannot allow persons under the age of 13 to have accounts at BN.com or to post customer reviews. Please see our Terms of Use for more details.

What to exclude from your review:

Please do not write about reviews, commentary, or information posted on the product page. If you see any errors in the information on the product page, please send us an email.

Reviews should not contain any of the following:

  • - HTML tags, profanity, obscenities, vulgarities, or comments that defame anyone
  • - Time-sensitive information such as tour dates, signings, lectures, etc.
  • - Single-word reviews. Other people will read your review to discover why you liked or didn't like the title. Be descriptive.
  • - Comments focusing on the author or that may ruin the ending for others
  • - Phone numbers, addresses, URLs
  • - Pricing and availability information or alternative ordering information
  • - Advertisements or commercial solicitation

Reminder:

  • - By submitting a review, you grant to Barnes & Noble.com and its sublicensees the royalty-free, perpetual, irrevocable right and license to use the review in accordance with the Barnes & Noble.com Terms of Use.
  • - Barnes & Noble.com reserves the right not to post any review -- particularly those that do not follow the terms and conditions of these Rules. Barnes & Noble.com also reserves the right to remove any review at any time without notice.
  • - See Terms of Use for other conditions and disclaimers.
Search for Products You'd Like to Recommend

Recommend other products that relate to your review. Just search for them below and share!

Create a Pen Name

Your Pen Name is your unique identity on BN.com. It will appear on the reviews you write and other website activities. Your Pen Name cannot be edited, changed or deleted once submitted.

 
Your Pen Name can be any combination of alphanumeric characters (plus - and _), and must be at least two characters long.

Continue Anonymously

    If you find inappropriate content, please report it to Barnes & Noble
    Why is this product inappropriate?
    Comments (optional)