Love As a Way of Life: Seven Keys to Transforming Every Aspect of Your Life [NOOK Book]

Overview

Each day involves countless interactions with others–not only among family and friends but also with neighbors, coworkers, even telephone solicitors. An attitude of love may ot be your top priority in some of these encounters. But what if the ancient maxim “love your neighbor as yourself” applied to everyone, including those you meet in the most ordinary circumstances?

By ...
See more details below
Love As a Way of Life: Seven Keys to Transforming Every Aspect of Your Life

Available on NOOK devices and apps  
  • NOOK Devices
  • NOOK HD/HD+ Tablet
  • NOOK
  • NOOK Color
  • NOOK Tablet
  • Tablet/Phone
  • NOOK for Windows 8 Tablet
  • NOOK for iOS
  • NOOK for Android
  • NOOK Kids for iPad
  • PC/Mac
  • NOOK for Windows 8
  • NOOK for PC
  • NOOK for Mac
  • NOOK Study
  • NOOK for Web

Want a NOOK? Explore Now

NOOK Book (eBook)
$13.99
BN.com price

Overview

Each day involves countless interactions with others–not only among family and friends but also with neighbors, coworkers, even telephone solicitors. An attitude of love may ot be your top priority in some of these encounters. But what if the ancient maxim “love your neighbor as yourself” applied to everyone, including those you meet in the most ordinary circumstances?

By giving love, instead of grabbing for it, you’ll become the person others want to love in return, no matter what their role in your life.

Relationship expert Dr. Gary Chapman applies the seven characteristics of authentic love to family life, friendship, the workplace, and beyond. Eye-opening personal assessments uncover relational strengths and weaknesses, while real-life stories and ideas for building habits of love will inspire you to grow into the complete person you were meant/created to be.

Capture a vision that will transform your relationships and make your corner of the world a better place–by choosing Love As a Way of Life.

Includes questions for personal reflection or group discussion.

From the Hardcover edition.

Read More Show Less

Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly

Chapman follows up his five million-copy bestseller The Five Love Languages with this wise, heartfelt guide to cultivating seven traits that lead to loving relationships. Whereas his work on love languages explored the primary ways people give and receive love, this book explores the nitty-gritty of an entire "attitude of love," with chapters on kindness, patience, forgiveness, humility, courtesy, generosity and honesty. Each chapter includes quizzes, questions for reflection and ideas for applying that chapter's teachings. All self-help books run the risk of cliché, but Chapman manages to make tried-and-true material feel fresh through carefully chosen examples from his pastoral counseling practice and his own life. The chapter on forgiveness is especially powerful, as Chapman advocates forgiveness as a daily habit, not an occasional bequest. Although Christian faith provides the scaffolding for his program and a concluding chapter makes the need for God's help explicit, Chapman's judicious counsel can be implemented by people of many religious traditions. This book is head and shoulders above the bulk of self-help literature precisely because it is not about "self" so much as helping others. (July 15)

Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
Library Journal

Christian marriage counselor Chapman (The Five Love Languages; The Heart of the Five Love Languages) has written this guide for anyone, regardless of religious or spiritual persuasion, who wants to become loving and compassionate. Chapman focuses on seven traits-kindness, patience, forgiveness, courtesy, humility, generosity, and honesty-as foundations for loving relationships, challenging readers to develop them as habits for everyday living. Devoting a chapter to each trait, Chapman begins each chapter with an easy-to-remember definition (e.g., "courtesy: the act of treating everyone as a personal friend"). He shares stories of clients and others who have put these traits into practice, then suggests ways of developing them and of overcoming obstacles to adopting them. Each chapter concludes with exercises in visualization (e.g., what would your relationships be like if you were to adopt a given trait?) and further questions and options for application. Concluding chapters explore the application of the seven traits in marriage, parenting, and the workplace. Chapman's style is easy to follow; his questions are thought-provoking and appropriate for group discussion and personal reflection. Recommended for public libraries. [See Prepub Alert, LJ3/1/08.]
—Lucille M. Boone

Read More Show Less

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780385526661
  • Publisher: The Doubleday Religious Publishing Group
  • Publication date: 7/15/2008
  • Sold by: Random House
  • Format: eBook
  • Pages: 208
  • Sales rank: 290,480
  • File size: 417 KB

Meet the Author

Gary Chapman is the author of twenty-seven books, including the New York Times bestseller, The Five Love Languages, with more than 4 million copies in print. His daily radio feature, A Love Language Minute, is broadcast on more than 100 stations nationwide. Chapman, a graduate of Moody Bible Institute, Wheaton College, Wake Forest University, and Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, serves on the pastoral staff at Calvary Baptist Church in Winston-Salem, North Carolina.
Read More Show Less

Read an Excerpt

Introduction

My daughter, Shelley, and I boarded the plane in Phoenix feeling fortunate that we had been bumped to first class. I was assigned 4A, however, and she was seated in 7A, both window seats. All twenty-eight seats in first class were full, so we were hoping that someone would be willing to change seats so that we could be together for the four-hour flight.

Shelley said to the man seated in the aisle seat beside 7A, “Would you be willing to change seats so that I can sit with my father?”

“Is it an aisle seat?” the man asked.

“No, it’s a window seat.”

“Can’t do that,” he said. “Don’t like crawling over people to get out.”

“I can understand that,” Shelley responded as she took her seat.

A bit later the man who had been assigned the aisle seat beside me arrived. I said, “Would you be interested in sitting in Seven A so that my daughter and I could sit together?”

He glanced back at 7A and said, “I’d be happy to.”

“I really appreciate that,” I said.

“Not a problem,” he replied with a smile as he picked up his paper and moved to 7A.

Later I reflected on that incident. What accounted for the two different responses? The men were about the same age; late fifties or early sixties was my guess. Both were dressed in business attire. Yet one held to his aisle seat with tenacity, while the other freely gave up the aisle to accommodate our desire.

Could it be that one man had a daughter and the other did not? Could it be that the man who freely gave up the aisle seat really preferred a window seat? Or was it just that they had gone to different kindergartens and had different mothers? Had one been taught to share and help people, while the other to “look out for number one”? Did one have a loving gene that the other did not get?

For decades I have observed similar events, both large and small, and have asked myself, What makes the difference between “lovers” and those people who seldom show an attitude of concern and care for others? What are the characteristics of loving people? How were these character traits developed?

In the past year, trying to answer these questions, I have traveled the country observing behavior, interviewing people, reading available research, and examining religious teachings and practices. I have also drawn upon my thirty-five years of experience as a marriage and family counselor.

In the course of this study of love, I’ve named what I believe are the seven characteristics of a loving person:

• Kindness
• Patience
• Forgiveness
• Humility
• Courtesy
• Generosity
• Honesty

These seven traits are not vague feelings or good intentions. They are habits we learn to practice when we decide to become authentically loving people. They are basic, practical traits that are doable in everyday life. Yet the result of making these traits a habit is remarkable: satisfaction in relationships.

Love is multifaceted. It is like a diamond with many surfaces yet one display of beauty. In a similar way, when put together, the seven key characteristics of love form a loving person.

Each trait is critical. If you are missing one in your relationships, you are missing something significant.

I believe these traits are the keys not only to successful relationships but to success in all of life. That’s because the only way to find true satisfaction in life is to love others well.

How to Use This Book
In Love as a Way of Life you will find many stories from people across the country who have discovered, or are trying to discover, the joys of living out the seven traits of a loving person. You will also find practical ideas on how to develop these characteristics in your own life. Let me suggest that you not rush through the book but instead take the time to explore each facet of love in every type of relationship in your life. With that in mind, please note that each chapter in Part Two includes the following elements:

Questionnaire. This simple self-test will challenge you to think through how one of the seven loving traits is shown in your life. I encourage you to take this test before you read the chapter in order to alert your mind to your strengths and weaknesses in relationships as you read about the character trait.

A new definition. Early in each chapter I provide my definition of what a certain character trait looks like in the context of authentic love.

Habits to acquire. Because each of the seven traits of a loving person is a habit, acting them out in daily life is built on smaller habits. The boxes throughout a chapter give you ideas about how to make the concept of loving authentically a reality in your life.

Competitors. We wouldn’t need any book on love if we didn’t have emotions, personal weaknesses, and circumstances to overcome in our relationships. Each of the seven character traits has many competitors, or enemies, but usually one competitor stands out. In this section of each chapter, I’ll briefly look at one thing that might be working against developing a particular character trait in daily life. When we are alert to the competitors to love, we are better able to overcome them.

“What would your relationship be like if . . .” I’ve found in my own life that it helps to dream about how things could be and then try to make those dreams real. This section, at the end of each chapter, encourages you to realize how different your relationships could be if you made some changes, even small ones, in how you relate to others.

Making it personal. Whether you are reading this book alone or sharing the journey with a group, the questions at the end of each chapter will help you reflect on how the subject of the chapter relates to your life in specific ways. Since the goal of this book is that you not only will learn about love but will also become a better lover, at the end of this section I offer suggestions for personal growth.

Love as a Way of Life is for anyone who wants to have better relationships and succeed in life. Nothing has more potential for changing the world for good than loving actions that flow from people who value relationships. And as we’ll discover, nothing brings more joy than genuinely loving others.

I have written this book not in the technical language of psychology or sociology but in the language of the man and woman who live down the street. I believe it is the common person like you or me who holds the key to creating a world in which relationships are valued above all else, in which serving others is normal and expected, in which children grow up to respect each other–yes, even love each other. This is not an impossible dream. It is in fact a dream within reach of each of us.

From the Hardcover edition.

Read More Show Less

Table of Contents


Acknowledgments     ix
Introduction     xi
Why We Want to Love
The Satisfaction of a Loving Life     3
The Seven Secrets to Love
Kindness: Discovering the Joy of Helping Others     15
Patience: Accepting the Imperfections of Others     40
Forgiveness: Finding Freedom from the Grip of Anger     65
Courtesy: Treating Others as Friends     86
Humility: Stepping Down So Someone Else Can Step Up     111
Generosity: Giving Yourself to Others     133
Honesty: Revealing Who You Really Are     159
Making Love a Way of Life
Making Love a Way of Life in Marriage     187
Making Love a Way of Life in Parenting     200
Making Love a Way of Life in the Workplace     210
The Motivation to Love     220
Epilogue     229
Notes     231
Going Deeper to Make Love a Way of Life     239
Read More Show Less

Reading Group Guide

A SAMPLE OF THE QUESTIONS FOUND IN Love As a Way of Life

To begin the guide, consider this question: When you love others, do you believe you are loving God? Why or why not? You might want to keep this question in mind as you discuss the seven traits of a loving person. God’s help in loving others is always available to us because he cares so deeply about others receiving and reciprocating his love.

Kindness: Discovering The Joy Of Putting Others Before Yourself

Further Bible reading: Jeremiah 31:1–6; Joel 2:13; Luke 6:32–36; Romans 2:2–4; Ephesians 4:29

The apostle Paul said the love of God is “expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God” (Ephesians 2:7–8). The pattern is clear. The kindness that God shows toward us is what motivates us to be kind to others. Paul spoke of this when he said, “At one time we…lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another. But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy” (Titus 3:3–5). While kindness does not come naturally, we have the perfect model of God’s kindness in Jesus. The Holy Spirit is at work in us to express Christ’s kindness through us.

Read More Show Less

Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4
( 10 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star

(4)

4 Star

(3)

3 Star

(1)

2 Star

(1)

1 Star

(1)

Your Rating:

Your Name: Create a Pen Name or

Barnes & Noble.com Review Rules

Our reader reviews allow you to share your comments on titles you liked, or didn't, with others. By submitting an online review, you are representing to Barnes & Noble.com that all information contained in your review is original and accurate in all respects, and that the submission of such content by you and the posting of such content by Barnes & Noble.com does not and will not violate the rights of any third party. Please follow the rules below to help ensure that your review can be posted.

Reviews by Our Customers Under the Age of 13

We highly value and respect everyone's opinion concerning the titles we offer. However, we cannot allow persons under the age of 13 to have accounts at BN.com or to post customer reviews. Please see our Terms of Use for more details.

What to exclude from your review:

Please do not write about reviews, commentary, or information posted on the product page. If you see any errors in the information on the product page, please send us an email.

Reviews should not contain any of the following:

  • - HTML tags, profanity, obscenities, vulgarities, or comments that defame anyone
  • - Time-sensitive information such as tour dates, signings, lectures, etc.
  • - Single-word reviews. Other people will read your review to discover why you liked or didn't like the title. Be descriptive.
  • - Comments focusing on the author or that may ruin the ending for others
  • - Phone numbers, addresses, URLs
  • - Pricing and availability information or alternative ordering information
  • - Advertisements or commercial solicitation

Reminder:

  • - By submitting a review, you grant to Barnes & Noble.com and its sublicensees the royalty-free, perpetual, irrevocable right and license to use the review in accordance with the Barnes & Noble.com Terms of Use.
  • - Barnes & Noble.com reserves the right not to post any review -- particularly those that do not follow the terms and conditions of these Rules. Barnes & Noble.com also reserves the right to remove any review at any time without notice.
  • - See Terms of Use for other conditions and disclaimers.
Search for Products You'd Like to Recommend

Recommend other products that relate to your review. Just search for them below and share!

Create a Pen Name

Your Pen Name is your unique identity on BN.com. It will appear on the reviews you write and other website activities. Your Pen Name cannot be edited, changed or deleted once submitted.

 
Your Pen Name can be any combination of alphanumeric characters (plus - and _), and must be at least two characters long.

Continue Anonymously
Sort by: Showing 1 – 8 of 7 Customer Reviews
  • Posted December 6, 2008

    more from this reviewer

    Learn to Love

    This book is organized so that the reader can use it as a guide with a group study or while working on his/her own self-improvement. Written in a straight-forward, interesting manner, it's a worthwhile read.

    2 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted January 5, 2012

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted May 29, 2009

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted March 11, 2011

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted July 13, 2011

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted July 17, 2011

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted December 26, 2009

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted August 1, 2011

    No text was provided for this review.

Sort by: Showing 1 – 8 of 7 Customer Reviews

If you find inappropriate content, please report it to Barnes & Noble
Why is this product inappropriate?
Comments (optional)