Love at Last Sight: Thirty Days to Grow and Deepen Your Closest Relationshipsby Kerry Shook, Chris Shook
Everything you’ve been taught about relationships is wrong.
The movies and TV make it look easy. Matchmaking Web sites have it down to a science. Two people connect—love at first sight—and the relationship is magical from then on. But the truth is, strong, deep relationships that last a lifetime aren’t based on the mysterious/b>
Everything you’ve been taught about relationships is wrong.
The movies and TV make it look easy. Matchmaking Web sites have it down to a science. Two people connect—love at first sight—and the relationship is magical from then on. But the truth is, strong, deep relationships that last a lifetime aren’t based on the mysterious chemistry of two personalities. Real love in relationships—friends, married couples, siblings, parents—isn’t a magic act. It’s a journey. A great relationship grows from an investment of time and effort.
Kerry and Chris Shook know that deep relationships aren’t built on initial attractions, but on last things—the experience you shared the last time you were with someone . . . the words you spoke with her last week . . . the effort you made for him the last time you were together. And Love at Last Sight offers a one-month relationship plan that will improve your most important bonds, including a weekly focus and daily readings that guide you through the process. By learning to be present in the moment, acting intentionally, risking awkwardness, and learning to let go, you’ll discover wisdom from the Bible that contradicts what popular culture would have you believe.
Meaningful relationships depend on seeing other people as they are, so that the last time your eyes meet on this earth, your relationship will be closer and deeper than ever before. Love at Last Sight is the last book you’ll need to get your dearest relationships right.
Another life-changing book from Kerry and Chris Shook
Authors of the best-selling One Month to Live
Your closest relationships will naturally drift apart over time. And chances are, right now, one or more of your most important relationships is less than what you wish it could be.
Now you can change everything and take steps to reconnect with the people who really matter—and we don’t mean by connecting on Facebook! This thirty-day program guides you step-by-step to deeper, more satisfying relationships by developing four forgotten but powerful relational arts for changing, improving, and repairing the relationships you care about most:
Week 1 – The Art of Being All There
Week 2 – The Art of Acting Intentionally
Week 3 – The Art of Risking Awkwardness
Week 4 – The Art of Letting Go
Learn the secrets that will lead you to healthy relationships with the most important people in your life—starting today!
“I love Kerry and Chris. And I love this book. One of my deep desires is to invest the best part of me in those who are closest to me. This book will give you the inspiration and practical tools you need to do just that.”
—Mark Batterson, pastor of National Community Church and author of Primal, Wild Goose Chase, and In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day
“People are created for connection and community. We’re each designed with a desire for knowledge and intimacy. But it doesn’t just happen. It takes intentionality and a willingness to work. In Love at Last Sight, my good friends Kerry and Chris Shook reveal some practical and powerful steps that will help you cultivate your relationships. Whether you’re seeking to strengthen your friendships or looking for ways to enrich your marriage, the tools in this book will help you experience the most out of every significant relationship in your life.”
—Ed Young, pastor of Fellowship Church and author of The Creative Marriage
“Healthy relationships are essential for life, marriage, and family. Love at Last Sight provides counsel for developing a love that lasts and creating a legacy for generations to come.”
—Jack Graham, pastor of Prestonwood Baptist Church
“Love at Last Sight sheds new light on taking care of your relationships today. We have so many tools to help us communicate, yet so many relationships are in shambles. Chris and Kerry Shook give sound advice for putting those we love first and practical tips to make our love last.”
—Craig Groeschel, pastor of LifeChurch.tv and author of The Christian Atheist
Praise for One Month to Live
“If you want new urgency, fresh purpose, and a sharper focus for your life, then this book is for you. Read it and your future may be changed forever!”
—Lee Strobel, author of The Case for the Real Jesus
“One Month to Live by Kerry and Chris Shook will add value to the life of every person who reads it. The questions asked and the ‘Make It Count Moments’ in the book will stir your soul and inspire you to begin, today, to make the rest of your life more meaningful. What Kerry and Chris present in One Month to Live could be life altering.”
—Ken Blanchard, author of The One Minute Manager and Know Can Do!
“Regardless of where you are on your spiritual journey, One Month to Live will challenge you to passionately live the life you were made for and leave an eternal legacy.”
—Bill Hybels, best-selling author and senior pastor of Willow Creek Community Church
- The Crown Publishing Group
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Read an Excerpt
The Most Important Thing
Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art.… It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival. — C. S. LEWIS
I don’t wish to be everything to everyone, but I would like to be something to someone. — JAVAN
Right now, there are three relationships in your life that trouble you. Perhaps a good friend said something to you yesterday. It felt critical, but you’re not sure what she meant. The two of you used to be so close, but lately you’ve been drifting apart. Something’s not right. Oh, and your mother called. There’s that. You know you should return her call, but you haven’t. Why? You know there are things you should have said before, you avoided them, and now you feel it’s too late. It’s always so hard with her. Always messy.
And then…your son has been missing. Not missing physically, but he’s been distant, quiet, silent. Missing emotionally. What’s that about? What’s going on in his life? You want to reach out, but he pushes you away. It worries you.
Maybe the relationships in your life aren’t exactly like these, but I’m guessing these remind you of someone close to you, a problem relationship in your life right now. Maybe it’s not your mother but your father, perhaps not your son but a daughter-in-law. It could be your best friend. Whoever it is, he or she is someone who matters to you—or else the relationship wouldn’t trouble you, gnaw at you on the inside, make you question and grumble, or even bring you to tears.
I suggest you have at least three such relationships in your life right now that feel messy or troubling and make your heart ache a little. The number three isn’t magic, of course. It could be just one or two, although it’s likely to be more, not less. We all have relationships that aren’t what we long for them to be. Now I’m not talking about business acquaintances, casual or distant friends, fourth or fifth cousins. We all have a lot of relationships in our lives—maybe too many (and we’ll talk about that)—but, quite frankly, not all are created equal. All people are important, but not every connection in your life has equal value. The relationships we want to help you with in this book probably include your husband or wife, possibly a boyfriend or girlfriend. Your mother or father could be on this list, or maybe a son or daughter. And there could be a friend, someone close to you with whom you’ve shared deep things. It’s these meaningful, essential people in your life—the key relationships you have right now—that we want to focus on.
So take a moment and think, who are these three key people in your life? Which meaningful relationships are troubling you? Relationships you wish were closer. Relationships you’d like to be deeper and richer. Relationships that trouble you, bother you, even make you a little crazy right now. Seriously, think about it. Who are they? And now take a moment to name these three key relationships out loud.
THE HIDDEN ADVENTURE
The journey you’re about to take over the next thirty days will help you improve, grow, and deepen those three relationships you just named. I’m not saying it will fix everything (relationships aren’t machines—you can’t replace a broken part and be good to go). But if you apply what you read over the next thirty days, your key relationships will grow and deepen. Something will change for the better.
Trust me, this is important for you. In fact, this may be the most significant thing you do in your life right now. Why? Because life is way too short. At the end of the day—at the end of The Day—in this all-too-short life we share, all that really matters is relationships.
Our relationships with the God who created us and with the people we love. Compared to these relationships, the job or career goals we set now aren’t really so important, the ladders we try to climb don’t matter so much, and the objects we long to own and possess seem utterly trivial. What really counts in the end is that special knowing look you share with your spouse, the arms of your child reaching up to you, or the quiet comfort of a friend who stands by your side in a difficult time. The award-winning animated movie Up contains some profound truths about relationships. In a breathtaking sequence early in the film, we see the entire arc of the life of Carl, a balloon salesman, as he meets Ellie, falls in love, and gets married. They share a dream to travel to South America and save every penny for their big trip. But there’s something familiar about the way their savings are constantly being used for the urgencies and emergencies of daily life. Before Carl and Ellie know it, they’re in their seventies, and although they have a beautiful marriage, they never realized their dream adventure. Ellie dies, and Carl is overwhelmed with regret about the trip they never took. In a desperate attempt to escape loneliness and recapture memories of Ellie, Carl attaches a bunch of balloons to his house and sets out for South
You begin to realize as the movie progresses that this dream trip they were saving for, this object of their future plan together, wasn’t really that important after all. The real adventure was the life they shared along the way. The same is true for us: the adventure of a lifetime is right in front of us. It’s just cleverly disguised as a familiar face.
Think about the possible loss of the relationship with one of those three people you named. You can’t do anything about death and the physical departure of one of them from this earth. That’s in God’s hands. But you can do something about your relationship with them in life.
Everything you’ve been told about relationships is upside down and wrong. Researchers tell us that a baby sees everything upside down for the first few days of life until the brain can adjust the visual picture to right side up. Most relationships today are stuck in this same infant stage; we tend to see relationships upside down, and our culture only reinforces this view. The concept of love at first sight permeates our music, movies, television, and books. What we learn as children and continue to believe as adults is that a fairy-tale relationship somehow just happens.
Now, I’m not bashing romance, but meaningful relationships depend on seeing other people as they are and looking at them right side up. Real love— whether romantic love, a close friendship, or a family relationship—happens long after first sight. It shows up as people get to know each other more deeply and often after they work through tough things together. Real love in relationships isn’t a magic act; it’s a journey. When people say, “It was love at first sight,” what they really mean is “I was attracted to that person the first time I saw them.” There is nothing wrong with being infatuated with someone at the start of a relationship. The real question, however, is, do you have a love that is growing stronger and deeper every day?
I don’t believe in love at first sight; I believe in love at last sight. Each of my relationships has the potential to be better the next time we’re together than it was the previous time so that the last time we see each other on this earth we’re closer than ever before.
It’s ironic that even though our society is more technologically connected than ever before, most people feel increasingly isolated and completely disconnected from deep and rewarding relationships. You can have hundreds of Facebook friends, but how many of them can you truly sit down with face to face and share your heart? It’s more important to have one good friend than a thousand acquaintances.
Don’t get me wrong: there’s nothing wrong with social networking. Those sites can serve a useful purpose in connecting us to people. Technology is, after all, neutral. What matters is how you use it. A fire can burn you or warm you, and technology is no different. You can go online to research a medical question, pay your electric bill—or view pornography. The ability to connect with people online can be incredibly useful as long as you’re smart about it, but it has its downside too.
The canary in the coal mine is this: social networking has changed our society’s definition of friend. For instance, if I find someone named Joe online, all it takes is a simple right click, and my computer screen flashes a message assuring me that, yes, Joe and I are now friends. Hmm…now that we’re friends, I wonder if Joe would drive me to the doctor when I’m too sick to drive myself or hold my hair back from the toilet when I’m throwing up. Should I count on him to help me out on moving day? Can I call him when my loyal dog has to be put down and I just can’t do it alone? Will he tell me when I have spinach in my teeth, dandruff on my shirt, or my foot in my mouth? We have bought into the false idea that if we’re connected to huge numbers of people in cyberspace, we must be important and loved. There’s nothing wrong with having lots of online friends as long as you realize that they’re a random collection of people you might know or that someone you might know might know. A real friend is someone who is with you—present in your life— someone who gives you their time, shares your hurt, and feels your ache.
Almost every day we hear about another high-profile marriage meltdown or a lifelong friendship falling apart. We look at the relational carnage around us and wonder, is it even possible to build a marriage that lasts? Is it possible to have a friendship that grows stronger through the inevitable misunderstandings and mistakes of two imperfect people? Is it possible to experience love at last sight?
The answer is a resounding yes! The Bible says, “With God all things are possible” (Matthew 19:26). It doesn’t say it’s easy to build deep and rich relationships that stand the test of time, but we can say from personal experience that with God it’s more than possible. The two of us have been married for more than twenty-five years, and we can honestly say we’re more in love today than ever before. We’re two imperfect people who don’t have it all together or figured out, but we’ve learned some principles from God’s Word that have helped us develop a rich, unshakeable love for each other and for the most important people in our lives. We want to share with you these last-sight principles that continually help us see life and the people we love right side up—from God’s perspective.
All relationships, whether a marriage, a family, or a friendship, go through the same three stages. This First Glance stage is often called the honeymoon phase, that blissful time when everything is sunshine and rainbows. It’s the time in a dating relationship when you think you’ve finally met the perfect person, and all you can see is how alike you are. The honeymoon happens in family relationships too. But when children become self-thinking teenagers, parents and kids usually see one another’s shortcomings more clearly. In a friendship the honeymoon begins when you think you’ve finally found a friend who really “gets” you. There’s nothing wrong with those first infatuated feelings unless you expect them to always be there. The First Glance stage is intense but fleeting, and trying to make it long-term isn’t realistic or even desirable!
At first everything seems beyond perfect, but then you take a second look. Suddenly you see reality staring back at you! In a friendship, as you get to the Second Look stage, you see your friend’s annoying habits and negative qualities. In marriage, that second look makes you realize that the person you’re married to is not so perfect after all. Suddenly you’re able to see only your glaring differences, and you start to wonder what you saw in them in the first place. In the Second Look stage, you start asking, “What happened? Where did all the loving feelings go?” Nothing’s actually wrong. Reality happened! And in a real way, it’s good. Great relationships need to be based on reality—the true understanding and acceptance of another’s faults, shortcomings, and weaknesses. This is also the stage where we admit we’re not so hot either! It’s in this honest acceptance of each other—acceptance of the real us, not the ideal first-glance us—that relationships begin to grow. The danger of the Second Look stage is that it’s easy to give up because we no longer have the sense of awe and wonder we had in the First Glance stage. Of the three key relationships you’ve named, is one possibly in this Second Look stage?
Our goal is to help you get beyond the First Glance stage, which is by definition a shallow relationship, to move through the Second Look stage and not get stuck there, and to enter the Last Sight stage, where the real work and reward of relationships occur. The Last Sight stage is the point at which you know each other’s faults, fears, and true feelings, but your love is secure as you work to grow closer every day. Last sight relationships are what this book is all about, and they always involve two people being honest, vulnerable, and feeling safe with each other. The reason you chose those unique three key relationships is precisely because you long for them to be last sight relationships. Maybe they’re in the Second Look stage, and you recognize the need to move them into the Last Sight stage. Possibly they’re still in the First Glance stage, and now you’re beginning to realize all that it will take to move them deeper. No matter what stage you’re in or how long you’ve been there, the adventure of a lifetime awaits you in these pages.
LOVE AT LAST SIGHT CHALLENGE
Love at last sight is a whole new way of living. These are not principles to memorize but an art form to learn and practice, and for each of the next four weeks, we’ll focus on a new aspect.
Week 1: The Art of Being All There
Week 2: The Art of Acting Intentionally
Week 3: The Art of Risking Awkwardness
Week 4: The Art of Letting Go
I’d like you to join me in the Love at Last Sight Challenge. This book is the challenge, and you can do it on your own. Just read a chapter each day. There are thirty chapters, they’re short, and you can probably read one a day pretty easily. At the end of each chapter you’ll find the Love at Last Sight Challenge, which is designed to help you take the insights from that day and apply them to your key relationships. Also you can log on to lastsightchallenge.com each day to access our personal coaching and get extra encouragement and advice or share your story. Our goal is to come alongside you to help you create the very best relationships possible. Let’s get started!
1. Get a small blank book to use as your relationship journal. Every day you’ll conclude your reading with personal action points to record in your journal.
2. The Challenge starts with what you did just moments ago: in your journal write today’s date, and list the three key relationships you want to focus on.
3. For the next month, commit one day a week to a Facebook fast. That’s when you go a whole day without using social networking sites, limiting your use of technology to essential work or school-related work. Take the time you save to handwrite a letter to a friend or to meet a friend face to face for coffee. For more ideas go to lastsightchallenge.com.
4. Think about inviting three or four friends to take the Love at Last Sight Challenge with you.
Meet the Author
KERRY SHOOK and his wife, CHRIS SHOOK, founded Woodlands Church in The Woodlands, Texas, in 1993. Since then, the church has grown to an attendance of over 18,000 and is counted among the fastest-growing churches in America. Authors of the New York Times best-seller One Month to Live, the Shooks have been featured on Fox News, NBC, ABC and PBS. Kerry and Chris have been married for over twenty-five years, and are the parents of four children.
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When I first picked it out for some reason I thought it was a 30 day devotional for couples. However, once I received it I realized it was a book about any relationships in your life that you wanted to improve. The book is broken into four different weeks. Week 1: The Art of Being All There Week 2: The Art of Acting Intentionally Week 3: The Art of Risking Awkwardness Week 4: The Art of Letting Go This book also explains the three stages of love, what they entail, and how to reach the ultimate destination of love at last sight. One of the reasons I truly enjoyed and like about this book is the fact it's not just for couples, or just for teens. It's a book that helps you decide on the relationships that mean the most to you and focusing on enriching and enhancing those relationships. It explains how to fight fairly, how to truly listen and focus, and how to go out of your way to truly try to be there in your relationships. Each day you read a section that is about 5 pages long, and then there is a Love at Last Sight challenge to complete. The tasks are easy but make you think about your relationships. They also give you access to their website to get additional help and advice. Overall, I would recommend this book to others. Whether you want to work at your relationship with your husband, wife, mother, father, child, or any other person who matters to you, this is a great book to help you do just that!
This book is not just about marriage but about all kinds of relationships and is truly one of the best books I have read in a long time. Kerry and Chris have such a great way of putting things in perspective and allowing you to see what your true priorities should be in life. I love this book and feel everyone should read it
I wasn't sure I would like this book when I began. After all, I'm not married (but I hope to be within a few years!). Right away, I realized that the authors had done a fantastic job of including more than the marriage relationship. What they teach you applies to all relationships. They base all their advice on sound Biblical and relational principles. I will tell you that I did not actually do their suggested daily assignments in the book. I think that this book would be great for a small group Bible study where you could share those things in a journal form and weekly with the others in the group. The things that really stood out to me in this book were being yourself with the special people in your life and not leaving when things don't go right. This is about love at last sight, not first sight. Hollywood has inundated out culture with romantic ideas that are absolutely unrealistic, and they are basically self-centered. When we realize that true love is action and not a feeling, it will definitely make a difference in our relationships.
I have to admit that I was excited to read this book to find out what practical advice it gave to deepen and strengthen all relationships in life. Upon reading it, I found myself disappointed in its content. The premise is that you read one chapter for thirty days and then answer some thought provoking questions after. So for example, one of the chapters talks about thinking "Outside of the Box" and how a man once arranged that after his passing his wife would still continue to receive flowers. Then, at the end of the chapter it asks you to do an out of the box action with someone in you life. And while this book is chock full things we should be doing daily I felt like I had a preconceived notion that there would be things I had never thought of in this book. So, in essence this book is a read to remind us what we need to do to keep our relationships strong. We need to remove obstacles such as Facebook, we need to make the first move rather than waiting for our spouse or that we should never keep score. So, if you feel like you could use some reminders in how relationships should work then this book is for you. Otherwise, just take some time to revisit what key pieces make relationships work and you will have the main points of this book. I give it 3 out of 5 stars. *I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review.
Today's culture portrays relationships as easy. In a consumerist, individualist culture, the work of relationships is discarded for the often superficial relationships of online friendship. The work of a relationship, whether friendship or marriage, is discounted and discredited. As Kerry and Chris Shook show in their book, Love at Last Sight, true, deep relationships require that work. In their book, they provide readers with practical tips for improving their closest relationships. Based in scripture, their advice is sound on many levels but would easily apply to believers and non-believers alike. The book also has an online component so that readers can gain the support they need in deepening their important relationships. While the Shooks' book provides little that is new in regards to relationships, they do give their readers good reminders of how relationships can and should be. Their work is definitely a good alternative to the cultural and societal norms, which portray relationships as only necessary when it is convenient. In addition, the book also shows how society--and technology in particular--has made friendships too "easy," giving the term a newer, shallower basis that has altered our perception of such an important relationship. Even marriages have been affected by this societal ease. Therefore, the Shooks' book, Love at Last Sight, is an important one for anyone who feels a bit uneasy with their relationships and wants to take them to the next level.
I FINALLY finished Love at Last Sight subtitled *30 days to grow and deepen your closest relationships* by Kerry & Chris Shook. When I saw that this book was on the list for review I got a bit excited. I've been at a point in my personal life where I felt like this book could do me some good and I was looking to be enlightened some. When I received the book, I sat down immediately to read it and was ready to put it down after the first 5 or so pages. It's a cool book because you go through this 30 day "program" where you even have daily "homework". I think that's why I was so excited about it, I like homework:) However, this book didn't teach me anything I didn't already know and there was nothing refreshing about it for me personally. I do however, know that others will more than likely benefit from this book. THE ONE THING THIS BOOK DID DO FOR ME: *It reminded me that we really must love others as though we may not see them again tomorrow.* I work hard to live my life that way already and I guess that's why this book was hard to get through for me. For someone who does not know how to live this way, this book will be great for them. it will enlighten them and it will most likely change their lives and relationships. It's a good read. I like the perspective that it's written from and I like that you kind of feel like you're having a conversation with the authors. If you have the time and could use some advice on how to love your loved ones better, I recommend reading it.
Overview: Love at Last Sight is about improving the most important relationships in your life in just 30 days. It was written by the same authors as One Month to Live. The book is broken down into chapters, and is meant to be read one chapter a day for thirty days. Each chapter deals with a different key to make the relationship in your life (husband-wife, parent-child, etc.) work and to make them richer and stronger. My Thoughts: Love at Last Sight is well written and gives many key insights into what will help to keep your relationships growing and flourishing. In this book you are encouraged to take the Love at Last Sight Challenge. There is a whole website dedicated to the challenge and filled with valuable resources to help you meet the challenge. Much of what you will read in Love at Last Sight won't be new to you. The overarching theme is that it takes hard work to maintain relationships. The book does focus on ways to make all your work more beneficial so you get the best results for the work you put into the relationships. No more wasted relationship energy.hopefully. As mentioned before, you will also find additional resources on the Love at Last Sight Challenge website to help take the book one step further. I recommend Love at Last Sight to anyone who is really serious about improving their relationships. If you are only interested in having casual relationships or don't want to put in the work then this book is not for you. A free copy of this book was provided to me by Waterbrook Multnomah Publishing for review purposes.
Initially I was resistant to the authors. I felt limited by the 30-day approach and also their firm and oft-repeated belief that there were at least three problem relationships in my life right now. Who told you that? They also talked like authorities on the subject of love and, let's face it, they hadn't yet established their bona fides with me. All that stuff lasted for 18 pages. By page 19, when the first mention of value appeared, I conceded that they did indeed speak with authority on the subject. **The book presents a challenge for people to live at their best**. To honor God by honoring others. To be the bigger person as much as possible (but of course remaining humble about it). For example, I appreciated this definition of encourage: "to give courage to someone else" (p. 110). Three things, in particular, were very useful. First, the organization of the book is itself like a story. There is a clear beginning encapsulating the problems we all face; a middle that lays out a specific trajectory for where you really want to transition yourself/your relationships; and an end that frames a new horizon for your view of relationships. Second, the folksy writing style; like a semi-private conversation with a trusted confidant during a backyard BBQ, makes the book easy to keep reading even when the content hits a raw nerve. And third, the end-of-chapter challenge questions and exercises. This is a great book for your summer reading list. If everyone read it, the world would be a different place in 30 days. Should you read it if you're generally happy and practicing healthy relationship behaviors? Yes, even if everything is coming up roses in your life right now, you may be able to encourage someone else who needs a chat with a friend. Referencing a book they can bring into their uneven or troubled relationship will be easier than calling you all the time. Disclaimer: I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review.
I like how the book was set up. It has weekly goals and challenges. It offers advice along the way. It provides appropriate quotations and Scriptures. Some of the advice reminded me of Fireproof. It was all very simple advice, but not always easy to practice (isn't that always the way it goes?). The premise of the advice is that instead of following society's "love at FIRST sight" rules, we need to be following God's "love at LAST sight rules." Our last impressions are often more important than our first, as our last actions are what we tend to be remembered by. If you think you have good relationships (not just your marriage), this book can still help you improve them. I never felt that Dave and I had a perfect relationship (I know better!), but I have always been certain we have a steady and secure relationship. After reading this book and incorporating these actions into our relationship, I know that we will have an outstanding relationship. And I'm working to use the same principles in my relationships with my sons and everyone else. I'd love for my sons to model this type of relationship in their own lives.
Kerry and Chris Shook have done it again. Love at Last Sight is exactly the book I needed to save my marriage, and it did what I needed it to do. Filled with amazing insight and motivation Love at Last Sight helped me focus on things I had forgotten about as well as things I had never thought about in relation to my marriage. The fact that it is a 30 day journey, not something you have to tackle all at once made it a lot easier to get into and after a couple days I really looked forward to the day's reading and the journaling I did afterward. I was on the brink of leaving because of what I perceived as a lack of love but was actually a combination of exhaustion and a lack of communication on my husband's part that led to emotional wounds and a withdrawing physically, mentally and emotionally on my part. We have the marriage we had both dreamed of and now I am recommending this book to everyone I know who thinks they are about to bail on a marriage because "the love is not there anymore."
I think this book was well written and has some great points on how to try and improve your relationships in thirty days. Yet I found it to be somewhat disappointing as it told me common sense things I already knew, such as relationships take patience and time. I still think this was well written, although I was hoping to find more informative thoughts on how one may go about improving relationships. At the end of each days chapter there is what they call a Challenge with questions or excercises to try and help you think through issues more in depth, which may help some. I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review.
Love at Last Sight: 30 Days to Grow and Deepen Your Closest Relationships by Kerry & Chris Shook The authors have a good book, if you want to know everything you have already learned about keeping a relationship. It's obvious they love their family and friends, and time with them is important. I expected more biblical based advice from this book, given who the authors were. There are challenge questions at the end of each day's section, which are good questions to ask yourself about improving a relationship. I received this book for free from Waterbrook Multnomah Publishing for this reveiw.
Love at Last Sight by Kerry & Chris Shook challenges the love at first sight theory and provides people 30 ways to deepen relationships. Shooks do believe that relationships can get stronger as they continue, but they acknowledge that relationships take love, commitment, forgiveness, and work. I chose this book for a couple reasons, the primary being the fact that I am always looking for ways to better my marriage. being a woman who grew up on fairy tale romance novels and believed that is how relationships do work because I didn't want a relationship like my parents, and if I worked hard enough, I could make a man change. Unfortunately my lack of maturity in relationships meant I married someone who was not the right person, and when I finally realized that neither of us would change, we agreed that our short 2 year marriage would end. Shook's book is a great read for newlyweds, and a great reminder for people who have been married for years. throughout the book, the reader is reminded of numerous truths; 1) A relationship isn't easy, 2) two people make up the relationship, and it's best to focus on the other person. While some suggestions in the book were review for me, I did find some new tips for conversation pieces, and the reminders on arguing fair. Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group through the book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255
Love at Last Sight written by Kerry and Chris Shook is a 30- journey that is bound to help strengthen and discover different aspects of relationships with the people you are most closest with. Not only is this book about marriage, but a book about all kinds of different relationships and gives a step by step, day by day format guide to reconnect you in your relationships. From the get go, this book was very gripping and held my attention, especially since I have a broken relationship in an area of my life and I tend to hide it. This book has allowed me to view this broke relationship differently in hopes of mending it down the road. Additionally, this book was broken up into four different sections, The Art of Being All There ,The Art of Acting Intentionally, The Art of Risking Awkwardness and The Art of Letting Go. Each section has left me with more questions than I began and has allowed me to deeper discover relationships. Also, at the end of each day, the author has reflection questions, which allow you to go deeper. I believe this would be a very effective bible study with your husband. Finally, I enjoy how both authors are genuine about their relationships whether successful or failure through different parts of their journey. I recommend this book to anyone because relationships are the key and importance of human existence. I challenge you to 30 days of grow deep and strengthening your relationships with those around you. I received this book courtesy of Waterbrook Multnoah publishing for review
This book is a step by step, day by day guide to reconnect your closest relationships. They give many great tips on how to change, improve and repair issues with the bonds you have with others. At the end of each chapter there is a daily challenge to really learn each concept. I liked the fact that Kerry and Chris have been married more than 25 years and are leaders of a large congregation at their Woodlands Church in Woodlands, Texas. I don't know about you, but I find it ironic when some so called relationship experts have a life that is more messed up than the people they are trying to teach. The Shooks are not like that. They have a successful relationship and a good spirtual base. This book is definitely worth reading, and it might even change your life.
This is the first time in several years that a book grabbed a hold of me the first three pages and would not let me go. I identified with the authors right out the gate. What you think you may know about relations is nothing compared to how you are enlightened page after page. Thought provoking to say the least. This book encouraged me to reach out to someone I missed for a long time it also helped me let go of a relationship that was just not healthy for me. It also confirmed the benefits of keeping the relationships we have alive and to value them on a daily basis. Highly recommend. Maybe not intend to be but for me this is a love story like no other.
Love at first sight is one thing, easy to do...but love at last sight...quite another. This book attempts to challenge readers in any kind of 'love' relationship (parents, spouses, friends, etc) to develop the kind of deep,agape love God shows us...much in the vein of the author's previous book 'One Month to Live', they base this off the premise of - What if today is the LAST time you see that loved one? The Shook's take you on a 30 day journey to grow that kind of love through 4 specific ways- Being all there, acting intentionally, risking akwardness and letting go. If you are in a troubling relationship practical ideas are given daily to encourage growth, and examining how we as the reader can change ourselves in order to change the relationship. While definetly benificial, the daily ideas do get a bit repetitive and are fairly basic. Neverthless, everyone can learn and aknowldge areas of their relationships that are due for a checkup by taking the time to journey through this book. I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review.
Love at last Sight: 30 days to grow and deepen your closest relationships by Kerry & Chris Shook Overtime close relationships grow apart, life and things take precedent over the people you most truely cherish. Can this be fixed in a month? Over 30 days the authors, Kerry & Chris Shook, founders of the Woodlands Church in The Woodlands, TX, intend to give readers the tools to reconnect, recommit, and re prioritize relationships. Each week is a main topic pertinent to relationships and then broken down daily with challenge questions and journal suggestions. Week 1: The Art of Being All There Week 2: The Art of Acting Intentionally Week 3: The Art of Risking Awkwardness Week 4: The Art of Letting Go. Each section starts great, but lacks in depth how-to detail. As soon as the section reaches the "OK, now I'm going to learn how" part, it ends. Leaving the reader needing more. The last section is a bit preachy and the authors have a turn of opinion, emphasizing this 30 day program is a lifelong journey. The Love at Last Sight Challenge website is peppered throughout the book as a go-to for further detail and a group study kit is available for church leaders. This book is a good introduction and thought provoking layer for a subject many people today face-personal, face to face interaction with those closest. Though it fell short of my expectations, it is well written with a laid back tone and a dialogue obvious the authors are passionate about strengthening reader's relationships. They speak from experience and share their personal successes throughout the book. If you have time and need to work on your relationships, Love at Last Sight will get you heading in the right direction. Couple it with the website and you can see your relationships change for the better. The 30 Days is pivotal toward your success, just not the deadline.
The book Love at Last Sight by Kerry and Chris Shook is about how to improve your most important relationships. The book is divided into four sections with seven chapters each. Each chapter in a section deals with different things you face in relationship. It shows how to deal with conflict effectively so neither person feels like they are being attacked. The book is organized to read one chapter a day for thirty days. At the end of each chapter there is a section called the Love at Last Sight Challenge. The Love at Last Sight challenge questions are thought provoking and help you apply what you just read. Throughout the whole book are great insights on how to improve your relationships. The whole premise of the book is that the last time you see each other your closer than ever before. I enjoyed reading Love at Last Sight and I would recommend this book to anyone who is looking to improve and work on their most importan relationships, and it does not matter what the relationship is, for example, married, parent-child and vice versa, friends, siblings and co-workers. The book is meant to help any relationship. I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review
With the words "Everything you've been taught about relationships is wrong" on the back cover, Kerry and Chris Shook begin to tear down the myths surrounding love at first sight, and restore the biblical paradigm of building strong, lasting relationships. Love at Last Sight is an easy to read, well written, delightful, and immensely practical book. The authors wrote with both gravitas and joy, sharing with the reader their own personal struggles and triumphs in salvaging and strengthening the relationships around them. They have provided a 30-day manual, built upon biblical principles, to strengthen any relationship in a person's life that may be in jeopardy, or to prevent a relationship from becoming unhealthy. There is a repeated emphasis on the wrong view of lasting relationships/love, and the biblical view of the same. The authors do a great job of contrasting what is commonly believed, taught, and suffered as the result of the cultural myth of love at first sight. My first thought that the book is intended to focus on marriage was incorrect, as the authors have made it their intent to show the reader how any relationship, whether it be with a spouse, child, sibling, parent, or friend can be salvaged and strengthened. Each chapter provides either a cognitive, affective, or a physical change in relational habits that are very practical and will lead to an improved relationship. The chapters are grouped into units of sevens, with each unit focusing on a broad area of needed change, and each chapter narrows the focus to one relational implementation. The result is four weeks of easy to implement starter habits or changes of habits. Each chapter begins with quotes from a plethora of authors, and ends with a Love At Last Sight Challenge: a list of thoughtful questions and practical tips to employ. The authors have built their changes and the need for changes upon biblical foundations, but the depth of these foundations does not go far enough at times. The strongest need for a deeper foundation is found in chapter six, where the authors describe the need for commitment. They use the marriage commitment and the parent child commitment examples, yet fail to tie the commitment of Christ to his bride, or God as father to us his children to strengthen their examples of what our commitment should be like. The Gospel should define our level of commitment, for God, and Christ, are committed to us in spite of our failure and faults, and that is what our commitment should endeavor to be also. Overall, this book is a very good resource for couples, parents, and others who are looking to strengthen and salvage relationships. A small group could use the helps and help each other to a deeper understanding of the biblical principles the Shooks have provided. Note: I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review.