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Love Him, Love His Kids: The Stepmother's Guide to Surviving and Thriving in a Blended Family

Overview

He loves her. She loves him. But his kids hate her. Or bait her. Or ignore her altogether.

She's the stepmother, and sometimes she feels as if she's never played a more thankless role. It doesn't have to be that way. With this book, the stepmother will find the advice she needs to win over even the most resistant children. This honest, practical guide written by a therapist and stepmother who's been there ...

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Love Him, Love His Kids: The Stepmother's Guide to Surviving and Thriving in a Blended Family

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Overview

He loves her. She loves him. But his kids hate her. Or bait her. Or ignore her altogether.

She's the stepmother, and sometimes she feels as if she's never played a more thankless role. It doesn't have to be that way. With this book, the stepmother will find the advice she needs to win over even the most resistant children. This honest, practical guide written by a therapist and stepmother who's been there shows stepmothers the best ways to handle the most challenging situations, including how to:

  • Get off on the right foot from "hello"
  • Build a relationship with each child
  • Share Daddy with his children
  • Define boundaries as a couple
  • Negotiate issues with Dad as well as the kids
  • Deal with their "real" mom
  • Survive holidays, birthdays, and school vacations
  • Create family rituals
With this book, millions of stepmothers find the strategies they need to safeguard their new marriage and establish a happy, peaceful new blended family.
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Editorial Reviews

Library Journal
Combining the advice of numerous therapists, clergy, and stepparents, clinical psychologist Wenck and teacher Hansen provide preventative and healing strategies to help women form healthy relationships between themselves and current or future stepchildren. The authors include everything from building a relationship with each child to defining boundaries as a couple. As both Wenck and Hansen have personally dealt with the trials and joys of stepchildren, their advice rings true. The book would prove valuable to those in the same situation or women about to enter into a blended family relationship.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781598698947
  • Publisher: Adams Media Corporation
  • Publication date: 8/18/2009
  • Edition description: Original
  • Pages: 256
  • Sales rank: 416,465
  • Product dimensions: 5.50 (w) x 8.40 (h) x 0.70 (d)

Meet the Author

Stan Wenck, PhD (Fisher, IN), is a clinical psychologist and university professor who has dealt with accounts of relationship disputes and disasters involving stepmothers, stepfathers, and stepchildren. As a divorced stepparent himself, Wenck knows firsthand the experience of being a stepdad to three teenage stepsons and dealing with the dilemmas between his two teenage daughters and their stepmother.

Connie J. Hansen, MS (Elkhart, IN), is a teacher who has used her background in communications and theatre to help students who have families with either one parent or stepparents. In working closely with these students and their families, she has observed the difficult challenges of making families blend together. Hansen also dealt with the experience of divorce and remarriage then lived the joys and trials of stepparenting.

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Table of Contents

Introduction ix

Part 1 Starting off on the Right Foot 1

Chapter 1 Meeting His Kids and Building Relationships 3

Chapter 2 Helping Resistant, Shy, and Special Children 23

Chapter 3 Establishing Yourself as a New Couple 42

Chapter 4 What's Our Address? 62

Chapter 5 Custody Arrangements with His (and Maybe) Your Kids 73

Part 2 Day-to-Day Life 85

Chapter 6 Listening and Relating to His Kids' Biological Mom 86

Chapter 7 Sharing Daddy with His Kids 105

Chapter 8 Creating Family Rituals of Your Own 113

Chapter 9 Disciplining Stepkids 129

Chapter 10 Basic Duties and Responsibilities 147

Part 3 Achieving Long-Term Success 165

Chapter 11 Surviving Holidays, Birthdays, and Vacations 166

Chapter 12 Religion and Culture 178

Chapter 13 (Step)Money Matters 191

Chapter 14 When to Call 911 209

Chapter 15 Job Satisfaction for the Effective Stepmom 222

Bibliography and Resources 230

Index 234

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Customer Reviews

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Sort by: Showing all of 8 Customer Reviews
  • Posted December 8, 2009

    Good for Widow/Widowers

    As a widower, and now remarried with 4 grandchildren, 2 each, I wish I had read this book prior to remarriage. It would have made a lot of things easier.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted October 24, 2009

    Awesome resource for both families and professionals!

    This book is an awesome resource for stepmothers! But more importantly, this book is an awesome resource for any family, for practitioners (psychologists and counselors), and for educators. The content of the book is based on sound theory and research and enriched with real life experiences. It is written in a user-friendly format aimed towards real families, yet it could serve as a research into practice handbook for professionals who deal with blended families. Kudos to Wenck and Hansen for writing Love Him, Love His Kids.
    Sharon E. Paulson, Ph.D. Professor of Psychology

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  • Posted October 13, 2009

    Love Him/Love His Kids

    This is a thoroughly researched book on a major social topic: Divorce and Children. The statistics provided indicate this should be read by most of the public because the authors point out that less than half the American public remains married, and that the vast majority of second marriages fail, and those usually involve children: yours/mine/ours. Anyone who's been through this knows how dicey things can get under these circumstances; for most people every aspect of life itself is a new challenge: parenting, money, sex, love, work, cars, insurance, houses, schedules, delicate relations with former wives and husbands, tense hollidays, teenagers who were already unique issues anyway. It an be so overwhelming one begins to lose any sense of orgnization and we become slaves to non stop crisis.
    That's why this is a good book to sit down with. It is Organized and in many ways aims to help the reader get organized. It will help one get off the roller coaster for a a few hours and sit back and make a PLAN instead of constantly Reacting to emergency situations one atop of the other.
    This is not speculation by a few people who have been through it; this is based on an enormous amount of research, and interviews with those in the the position to know what happens.
    Although it is geared for the step mother, the book is really for a wider audience as it deals with Parenting in general....after all it makes good sense as the book points out that parenting a step child is like parenting any child. I like the way it constantly reminds the reader about typical reactions from children that we must not over react to, especially teen children.
    For those who feel overwhelmed by how a divorce and remarriage with children can dominate evey element of our lives, read this book; you are not alone and there is hope, IF you can get organized.
    Dr Kenneth Walker, Professor of Humanities
    Daytona Beach, Florida.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted September 11, 2009

    LOVE HIM, LOVE HIS KIDS: THE STEPMOTHER'S GUIDE TO SURVIVING AND THRIVING IN A BELENDED FAMILY by Dr. Stan Wenck and Connie J. Hansen

    Love Him, Love His Kids: The Stepmother's Guide to Surviving and Thriving in a Blended Family by Dr. Stan Wenck and Connie J. Hansen is a MUST read for anyone contemplating a Stepmother's role. It draws heavily from validated psychological literature and good common sense. This book should be read not only by stepmothers and stepfathers but also by all others who wish to improve their family situation.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted September 9, 2009

    A practical guidebook for all families!

    This book serves as a practical guidebook for all types of families - blended or not. It features easy to read chapters arranged in progressive stages from building initial relationships to ironing out basic duties and responsibilities and finally, securing life-long success as a family. A perfect blend of helpful hints, tinged with humor, this book makes for the perfect reference for savvy stepparents, and parents alike, hoping to improve communications, trust and the general cohesiveness of the family unit.

    Tracey Gordon, MS
    Clinical Research Associate

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  • Anonymous

    Posted September 5, 2009

    A must read for anyone contemplating marriage to partners with children!

    A wonderful step by step guide for successful stepparenting that takes the reader from the first encounter, marriage, and beyond. Love Him, Love His Kids, gives practical suggestions and solutions to the many problems that can arise in blended families. As a divorced parent of one, I found this book invaluable and strongly reccommend it!

    Tamara Shriner, O.D.
    Optometrist

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 2, 2011

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  • Anonymous

    Posted October 28, 2011

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