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Hi. I'm Cupid. No shit. I really am Cupid. Don't get up. No applause. None is necessary. I'm just here to inspire D.J ... act as a muse. D.J. asked me to help pick out four love stories to tell you about. Now, bear in mind, I've had my hand in billions of these kinds of situations, so it wasn't easy. I had some help choosing which stories of course because, just between you and I, D.J. is very fussy. I know, I know ... I'm just here to provide the inspiration. D.J is the story teller.
Now when I say love stories, I mean the kind that are genuine and everlasting, the sort only yours truly could inspire. Now, before you go asking me if this type of forever love exists, the answer to your question is, of course it does, silly pus. If it didn't, I'd be reduced to collecting royalties off my likeness on Valentine's cards. And that's only once a year so I wouldn't be living in this here condo with a hot tub and ... oh well, never mind that. I'm getting off track. I have to be honest with you though, that kind of love doesn't come along every day and sometimes people miss the boat. Ironically, that kind of love generally has the most obstacles to overcome. You know that old saying ... anything worth fighting for ... Okay ... okay ... no more clichés. Manly here is giving me the evil eye. So, with all that said, I hand this over to D.J. Manly. The first story in the Love is War Valentine is called, Frisk Me.