Love Ordinary: It's a Relationship Thing

Love Ordinary: It's a Relationship Thing

by Sharon W. Perkins
     
 

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When I started writing this book I had a broken heart. I was in pain; I was suffering. I had been disappointed before, but I had never had my heart broken. It was a crushing and painful experience. As this book goes to print, I am no longer broken in spirit or heart. One man broke my heart; another whom I was calling on and believing in all along gave me hope and a… See more details below

Overview

When I started writing this book I had a broken heart. I was in pain; I was suffering. I had been disappointed before, but I had never had my heart broken. It was a crushing and painful experience. As this book goes to print, I am no longer broken in spirit or heart. One man broke my heart; another whom I was calling on and believing in all along gave me hope and a renewed spirit. I now understand what is meant by the phrase "hurting people hurt other people." Even more so, I understand and believe in His ability to bring an end to an issue where we see no end in sight. I can truly say I am better and not bitter over the whole experience. I can say that I am able to love freely again. These short stories are both my joy for my husband and my pain from his actions as well as my calls on a higher power to help me through.

Product Details

ISBN-13:
9781456746339
Publisher:
AuthorHouse
Publication date:
01/31/2012
Pages:
112
Product dimensions:
6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.27(d)

Read an Excerpt

Love Ordinary

It's a Relationship Thing
By Sharon W. Perkins

AuthorHouse

Copyright © 2012 Sharon W. Perkins
All right reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-4567-4633-9


Chapter One

My Calls To God

Dear God

Just wanted to say how much I need you and what you mean to me. You are my everything; my soul needs you, and I need you physically, mentally, and emotionally. You are the air I breathe; thank you for the breath of life. My soul cannot be at peace if your holy spirit is not with me. I awake at your gentle urging every morning. Thank you.

I have movement of my limbs, thanks to you. Not only can I move my arms, but my hands are an amazing work of art. I can pick up an object as small as a sewing needle or as large as a cake box with these hands. I can give hugs with these hands; I can wipe away a tear with these hands. I can hold another hand with these hands. With these hands I can give and show love in unlimited ways.

I have been given a body that yet amazes not just me but people the world over. I have been blessed with the opportunity to aid you in the continuing growth of the world's population by carrying life inside me until you deem it time to emerge and be counted. What an awesome ability you have given me. You are right there with me through every step of the process. For it is written that God alone has the ability to give life.

Man has tried and is still trying to play God and be God, just as their fathers before them once did. But I for one am glad that there is but one true and living God, the creator of heaven and earth, and He is my father. For this I thank you.

Jesus, You Are the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me

This is my theme song for life. Yes there are other songs I sang and love but none more than this one. Before I discovered this, it was "Amazing Grace," because His grace is so amazing. Just think about it—how small we are and how great He is and how amazing His love is for us. We are too smart for our own good. He said to accept Him with childlike faith; children love their parents unconditionally, even when their parents are unable to love them back. Even through abuse and unspeakable sins, they love and want to be with their parents. He is our father, and just let us as intelligent adults have a bad day or go through a bad breakup, and we are out looking for a new father. How silly we can be. How long will we be fools and reject our only true help, Our Father, who is in heaven? When will we as his children love Him in spite of what our enemy does to us, just like when we were children? When will we no longer buy into the lies of our enemy and find fault in Our Father, who is in heaven, and lay charge to the liar that comes to steal, kill, and destroy? When? Because when do, we can say or sing, Jesus you are the best thing that ever happened to me.

Guard My Heart

Oh Lord, guard my heart; do not allow this pain to last too long. Do not allow me to hold this against everyone I meet. Bless me, oh Lord. Enlarge my territory, keep me from evil, and send me where I need to be. I need peace concerning this matter.

Thank you for being exceedingly good to me. Thank you for blessing my family and me. Thank you for freedom; it comes in so many ways. Sometimes we are bound and unaware, but once we are made aware, we see differently and feel differently about you, ourselves, and our freedom, thanks to you.

Leah and Me

I feel like Leah must have felt while she was married to Jacob. How do you deal with having a husband who loves someone else? He sleeps with me night after night, but he longs for her. He calls to her day in and day out. When I review the reports, he appears to be a sick puppy that cannot live without contact with her. Because of Leah, I gave him space to talk to anyone he wished, to befriend them. He could have had a sexual liaison had he wished, but to fall in love with another is more than I can bear.

He leaves her sweet and adorning words; his words to me are always harsh and hard, so to the point of sometimes seeming cruel. Yet he lies here, but there is no love. No love in his words, no love in his hands, no love in his touch. Yet he wants to know why on the few occasions he says "I love you" to me, these words sound hollow and untrue to my ears. Why my response is not one of joy.

This man, who has loved many but waited to marry me, how cruel can one be, as soon as I determined to be wholly yours and his he goes and does this. How can he continue to deny his wrongdoing? Oh, God, how should I see this thing? Guard my heart, for it can take no more. His constant denial is almost as hurtful as the truth, once revealed. In days gone by the subject would never be brought before you, but I feel like Hannah in the temple desiring a move from the Lord on my behalf. I cannot fight this fight alone; I need your strength, oh Lord, my God.

Thank You, God

Thank you for being exceedingly good to me. Thank you for blessing my family and me. Thank you for my freedom. Freedom comes in so many ways. Sometimes we are bound and unaware, but once made aware, we see differently and feel differently about ourselves and about others and our freedom. I am aware, thanks to you. So again I say, Thank You, God.

Forgiveness

Forgiving someone is never easy; sometimes it feels downright impossible. If you have suffered a devastating blow, you may have an especially hard time forgiving someone for this horrendous pain you are suffering through. The key is to go to God and ask Him to help you forgive everyone for everything that hurts you.

Some of us have no problem going to Him for physical healing, but the pain of an emotional hurt is just as debilitating as any physical injury, and, if not dealt with properly, can have long-lasting effects. The scars are not always visible, as with a physical injury, but they are there just the same.

This is why it is imperative that you ask for help, for you, not for the other person, in order to heal yourself, not them, because as long as you have unforgiveness in your heart, your wounds will not heal. Just because skin grows over the wound so that it appears well does not mean all is well.

The saying "let go and let God" is never truer than when dealing with the hurt and pain of unforgiveness. You must call on Him in all sincerity in order to move to your next appointed level in life. You know Him, and you know that all He is waiting on is you; go to Him for forgiveness, and as you forgive others, He will forgive and heal you.

Right Hands

I would be silly putty in the right hands, hands that knew how to hold and how to mold a soul. In the right hands, I would be comforted and shielded. For the right hands I would respond on cue, for my body is waiting for the right hands. In the right hands I could be led to great heights, overcome greater loads. For true joy and peace are found in the right hands.

Now That I Know You

I heard someone say just the other day, "Who would have thought I would know you this way," and it just struck me. It made me stand still and say, "That is me. That is how I feel about you, Jesus."

I know you now like never before, and it is amazing to me that a little no one like me could know an almighty God like you. This is not "know of you," like I "know of Oprah," but I do not know her yet. But you, Lord, I know. I know your word and your will and your works, and this is amazing to me.

Next I heard, "I will trust you, Lord." That is when I settled the question between me and Him, or Him and me, because I do trust Him, and I will trust Him, and that is a good thing. When I heard, "No way I can make It without you," I gave a great shout because I knew there was no way I could have made it without you.

To know this has helped me to know you and to know you more clearly. Making our relationship more real and more for sure, or surefooted, which means solid, strong, and steadfast. Then I ran across "set me free," and I realized that is what I am. I am free to love those who do not love me. Free to do the right thing because it is the right thing to do. Free to be me even when no one understands me as me. When you are this free, you can say it and mean it.

I will bless the Lord in all things and at all times, in good times and bad, when it looks good and when it is dark all around. Because when He has done great things for you, you have no problem giving Him praise and more praise. Sometimes I just sit and smile and start to say thank you. I love you, Lord, and I am so grateful for all you have done for me thus far.

I know you will do more, but if you did not I am grateful for what you have done and what you have allowed me to see and do thus far. I know that I am lost without you in my life, not just in my life but in control of my life. I was making such a mess of my life and the way I was living that I had to put someone in charge, but no man fit the bill. Then He showed me King David, where he said, "I would rather take a thousand punishments from you, Lord, than one from man." This was a king who had armies of men under his control. This was the same man who, as a youngster, killed a giant in the land where he lived. He did it with faith and through the power of the Holy Spirit, and they both still exist to this day. Not only do they exist, but they are available to all who believe even to this day.

David said to Goliath, this day shall the Lord God of my forefathers give you over to me. Most people miss this. What he meant was, "By the power of God, I shall kill you this day," and it was so. Now this is where I became hooked forever. The word says that in all things I am victorious, which means I already have the victory. David understood this the day he met Goliath. But he still had to go face him. What a difference it is to know before the fight starts that no matter what it looks like, I will win. I am going to be victorious. No matter how long the battle, I know in the end I will be the winner. Now, with this knowledge something else became true; to prove I am victorious I must enter into some battles. I must face a fight, but in doing so I know that before we start, no matter what it looks like, no matter how I feel, when it is all over and done with I am the victor.

With this knowledge, the enemy no longer has power over me, not even the power of death. With the Lord on my side, whom shall I fear? The answer is no one; I have no one and nothing to fear. For you must change the way you see yourself and your God in order to live in victory. If not, you will keep getting what you have gotten and not know why.

Now this is the really good part; there is nothing to buy or go get or acquire. Everything is left up to you. You have the greatest power of all, the power to choose. Choose who you will trust or not trust. Choose who you will believe or not believe.

Some people have never been extended mercy, so when they hear that His mercy endureth forever, they have no idea of what is being stated. But He is a merciful God ... and His mercy endures forever. Sometimes we need to be like the woman with the issue of blood and just say within ourselves until it becomes real for us.

Others need to look the word up. Some of us do not know what mercy really is or really means. It means to show compassion, to have pity, to be understanding, to show kindness, to show sympathy, to not be cruel or show cruelty. It also means to show leniency or clemency. In order to receive it, you must know what it means; you cannot assign a meaning to this word, as it already has a history and a known meaning. We are looking for promises from a book, but we would not know if we had already received these promises because we do not know the real and true meaning of the words being promised. To get the fullness of what has been promised and what is written, we must do a little research, and we must study to show ourselves approved.

Who to Please?

We all come here with a need to please. God is who we desire to please, but until we come to know Him we cannot please Him. We try first by trying to please our parents, but if they were not ready for us and did not get ready by the time we arrived, that will be short-lived.

Hence a problem so many of us have; we will try to please someone, sometimes anyone. When all our best efforts go unnoticed, unmentioned, and unrewarded, we become confused and stressed out.

Do not leave your will to please behind because you have tried and tried to please the wrong one. Even if you got it wrong on more than one occasion, get in position to get it right this time. How, you ask, on your knees, on your face, in your closet. When, you, ask, on a good day, on a bad day, on a rainy day, on a Monday, a Friday, a Sunday, a Tuesday and a Wednesday, even on a Friday night. On your way to work, on your way home from work, when you go shopping. Whether you are buying something or not, take time to speak to God about it, and take even longer to hear what He has to say about the matter. For in seeking His will for you, He will be pleased with you.

Grateful I Am

I am grateful for being, for being alive, for being alive during this age and time. I am grateful for when I came on the scene, for the ones who brought me here. I am grateful for when and where I was raised. I am grateful for always having a sense of belonging.

I am grateful for being able to keep myself company. I am grateful for being with child and for being able to deliver a healthy child. I am grateful for a place to call my own, to set down roots and watch them grow. I am grateful for understanding and being understanding and for a willingness to try to understand.

I am grateful for knowledge and the ability to share knowledge. I am grateful for His grace which allows me to be kind to others in spite of. I am grateful for my knower or the eye of my heart. I am grateful for keeping off of fool's hill. I am grateful for being able to learn from my mistakes. I am grateful for being able to expect the exceptional gift from God do my best to lay a strong foundation with them and then release them back to the one who gave them to me.

I am grateful for the ability to enjoy life as it comes. I am grateful for knowing joy. I am grateful for having a sunny disposition. I am grateful for having love on the inside of me. I am grateful for butterflies, for sunsets and sunrise. I am grateful for the time right before the sun rises. I am grateful for trees, I am grateful for trees that give shade and I am grateful for trees that give fruits. I am grateful for a good tree to climb and later turn into a swing.

Once I Was

When he met me I was Rachel. He loved me as Jacob loved Rachel. He waited seven years for me to be his wife. I gave him three heirs as he requested, two sons and a daughter.

I trusted God that he did love me and would always love me. As time went on I became Leah in his eyes, and he desired someone other than me.

I once was just a quick release of tension, a personal assistant of sorts. The more he turned to other things, the more I turned to God. Do not get me wrong; at first I was playing the tit-for-tat game with him. If you do, I will too in hopes that you would not, to no avail.

Once I realized that it was not me nor for me, I ran to my helper. As I bore him his second son I was Hanna; I cried out unto the Lord not to leave me, as he had. I would put my trust in the Lord and not abort the child because of him but would groom the child to be used of the Lord.

When he broke my heart what seemed like beyond repair, I was reminded that I was more than a conqueror; I was a warrior, and I took on the spirit of Deborah. There were many days where I felt as though I was Abigail, married to Nabal. I felt like Sari some days, not that I offered my mate to anyone else. Just being aware that there was someone else was more than enough. I am sure that Sari did not want all that came with that offer. Even through all of this I stayed in constant touch with my helper and healer of broken hearts.

Speak, Lord

Speak to my heart, quiet my mind, still my hands, while I await your answer to my recent bombardment of prayers. Forgive me for the war that is raging in my mind; I state that the battle is already won, and I am the victor in Christ's name, amen. But I must still walk this thing out. Help me to be of good cheer in spite of all I see and hear.

Help me to speak only God-inspired words to others and to me as I go through this storm. As Christ is my example, I say, peace be still, to this storm. I say, be quiet, waves. But most of all, I say to myself, fear not, for the Lord is truly with you. On this I know I can depend.

(Continues...)



Excerpted from Love Ordinary by Sharon W. Perkins Copyright © 2012 by Sharon W. Perkins. Excerpted by permission of AuthorHouse. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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