Love Smart: Find the One You Want -- Fix the One You Got

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Overview

If you are sleeping single in a double bed or walking down the street thinking, How do I meet that guy?; if you're on your twentieth date and he's no more committed than when you first exchanged cell phone numbers; if everyone you know is getting married for the second time and you can't even get a first date; if you love the one you're with but the relationship needs some spark...then this book is for you.

In Love Smart: Find the One You Want -- Fix the One You Got, Dr. Phil ...

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Overview

If you are sleeping single in a double bed or walking down the street thinking, How do I meet that guy?; if you're on your twentieth date and he's no more committed than when you first exchanged cell phone numbers; if everyone you know is getting married for the second time and you can't even get a first date; if you love the one you're with but the relationship needs some spark...then this book is for you.

In Love Smart: Find the One You Want -- Fix the One You Got, Dr. Phil tells people who are dissatisfied with their love lives to stop making excuses -- All the good ones are taken; I'm too fat/skinny/boring/unpredictable for anyone to love me; I should stick with the relationship I have, I'm not going to do any better -- and start taking action! Dr. Phil knows that you deserve a committed relationship, and it is within your control to have the one you want. First, though, you need to determine what you want in a partner, plot your course and get out there and create velocity in your pursuit of a loving connection. The dating world is a vastly new place: meeting people at bars or through friends used to be the only option, but that's not true anymore. Love Smart: Find the One You Want -- Fix the One You Got explores new possibilities, new places to meet people -- including the Internet -- and new activities to get involved in where you'll find interesting people. Or if you are simply looking to rekindle the relationship you are already in, Dr. Phil will tell you how to turn up the flame.

Love Smart: Find the One You Want -- Fix the One You Got will show you how to stop stumbling through your love life. You will learn to:

  • Present the real you in the most flattering light. Are you your own best kept secret? Do you fail to show the world how truly fabulous and interesting you are? As Dr. Phil says, you can't fake fabulous. Don't act passive if three months into the relationship you're going to spring your true, opinionated personality on him; don't act wild if you really just want to sip tea with your mate in front of your favorite nighttime drama. Define who you are and then ride that horse!
  • Peek behind the male curtain. Knowledge is power, and Dr. Phil tells you things about men that they don't necessarily want you to know -- their deepest needs and fears (yes, they have those, too, though they deny it), and how to decode their words and actions.
  • Master the right moves. Once you've learned to put the best you forward, you need to go to places where you'll find interesting people and invite interaction. Don't fade into the wallpaper; get noticed and get involved. If you're already coupled up, learn to grow and nurture what you have and build a more fun, enjoyable and intimate relationship.
  • Bag 'em, tag 'em and take 'em home. Once you put those right moves into action, there will be no stopping you! Dr. Phil shows you how to negotiate the relationship you desire and then close the deal with the one you want.
  • Get out of your relationship rut. When you first fell in love, your heart raced just at the thought of him. But the daily grind, money problems, work, etc. have drained the life out of your relationship, and you take each other for granted. That doesn't mean you've fallen out of love. Dr. Phil shows you how to assess the state of your union and take the relationship to a deeper level.

Dr. Phil says there are no exceptions: There is somebody for everybody, and everybody deserves a relationship filled with love and excitement. Love Smart: Find the One You Want -- Fix the One You Got offers you the plan to find not just any relationship but the committed, loving, joy-filled relationship you've been waiting for.

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780743272094
  • Publisher: Free Press
  • Publication date: 12/6/2005
  • Pages: 304
  • Product dimensions: 6.20 (w) x 9.40 (h) x 1.10 (d)

Meet the Author

Dr. Phil McGraw

Dr. Phil Mcgraw is the #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Ultimate Weight Solution, Self Matters, Life Strategies, and Relationship Rescue. He is the host of the nationally syndicated, daily one-hour series Dr. Phil. One of the world's foremost experts in the field of human functioning, Dr. McGraw is the cofounder of Courtroom Sciences, Inc., the world's leading litigation consulting firm. Dr. McGraw currently lives in Los Angeles, California, with his wife and two sons.

Biography

Many self-help authors have launched their careers via the beneficence of Oprah Winfrey, but only Phillip C. McGraw was able to parlay the talk show queen's admiration into a weekly friendly takeover of her show, near-guaranteed bestsellerdom, and, finally, his own talk show. He's gotten so much attention as "Dr. Phil" (a.k.a. "Tell It like It Is Phil") that he's moved from Texas to Hollywood and even guested with his fictional peer on NBC's Frasier.

McGraw delivers unapologetic, no-nonsense advice in a tough but colorful down-home twang -- hence his "Tell It like It Is" moniker. That old psychological bugaboo, denial, is chief among his enemies; and bluntness is his forte, whether he is exhorting someone to "get real" or demanding to know, "What were you thinkin'?" In short, "He's like your mama, without hair," as fellow psychologist Robert Butterworth told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution.

McGraw isn't unsympathetic, but he is realistic. As he told Barnes & Noble.com, "I am here to tell people how the world works, not how I think it should be or how you wish it would be, but how it is." McGraw met Oprah when he was hired to coach her in a suit by cattle ranchers for her alleged defamation of the beef industry. Oprah won the case, and it wasn't long before Dr. Phil was a regular feature on her show, challenging her guests in the same way he challenges his readers.

Though McGraw's style is quick and to the point, he does what many good personal therapists do: He asks difficult questions and encourages people to answer them with painful honesty. He also does what many therapists do not: He avoids emphasis on introspection about the circumstances and history that can contribute to a person's problems. "Whether the cards you've been dealt are good or bad, you're in charge of yourself now," he writes as part of "Life Law #2: You create your own experience" in his first, still-popular book, Life Strategies.

McGraw's sports-coach approach has also appealed to couples seeking help in revitalizing tired marriages or fixing troubled relationships. The year after publishing 1999's Life Strategies, McGraw released Relationship Rescue, offering a seven-step plan for imperiled unions (one key word: "renegotiate").

Most recently, McGraw devoted special attention to those who are simply "going through the motions," whether at work or at home. His Self Matters encourages readers to literally take an inventory of their lives, discover their "authentic selves," and redirect their courses accordingly. He harangues, he prods, and sometimes he makes people uncomfortable -- but darned if he doesn't get them to see things in a different way than they did before.

Good To Know

He has been married to his wife, Robin, for 26 years. They have two sons, 23-year-old Jay and 16-year-old Jordan. McGraw has told Good Housekeeping that he doesn't feel pressure to have a perfect marriage because of his public image. But, he adds, "My wife is an amazing woman. We have a great marriage because she won't have it any other way."

After getting his doctorate, McGraw went into private practice; but "when it came to the point that I really had to admit I didn't like what I was doing, that was a gut check because I was making an awful lot of money doing it," he told CNN in 2001. So he quit the practice in 1989 and co-founded Courtroom Sciences, Inc., a legal consultancy that conducts mock trials, behavioral analysis, jury selection, and mediation.

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    1. Hometown:
      Los Angeles, California
    1. Date of Birth:
      1950
    2. Place of Birth:
      Oklahoma
    1. Education:
      Attended University of Tulsa; B.A., Midwestern State; Ph.D. in psychology, University of North Texas, 1979
    2. Website:

Customer Reviews

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Sort by: Showing all of 13 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted July 27, 2007

    A reviewer

    Many women yearn for the right man, but they don't have a dating plan or even a good idea of what to seek. Dr. Phil McGraw, therapist and popular U.S. TV talk show host, provides a strategy, not only for finding Mr. Right but also for getting him to commit. You'll learn how to identify and maximize your strengths, and use them to attract a great guy. Dr. Phil tests your 'Guy Q' and then explains how men are wired differently from women. This provides a road map into the opposition camp and gives you an advantage when negotiating a commitment. Is his counsel new? Maybe not. Is it old-fashioned? Maybe, but his intent is strategic. He offers straightforward, no-holds-barred, attention-getting advice, and fans will enjoy his familiar down-home style. If you are caught in a dating rut, this might help you get back in the groove. We recommend this guide to those new to the genre of books on 'How to Catch and Keep a Man.' Read it the next time you find yourself unwillingly home alone on a Saturday night.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 7, 2005

    Another wonderful book--for the McGraws, that is

    I just got my hands on a copy that had been bought by a woman I know, and I'm astonished that McGraw succeeds at recycling his content in book after book after book. Astonished--but not really surprised. This is basically Relationship Rescue with a new spin. For an eye-opening account of the sorts of tactics and motives behind these sorts of books, please investigate another book I just finished reading--Steve Salerno's SHAM: How Self-Help Made Us Helpless. Your money will be much better spent.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 22, 2006

    Excellent, sound and valuable!

    I watch Dr. Phil's show only from time to time, so I am not his 'fan'. I thoroughly read this book and it is an enjoyable and easy to understand read. Dr. Phil's advice is sound, honest and straightforward. I am sure that singles will be pleased to read 'Bag 'em, tag 'em and take 'em home'. The system looks sound and doable. I personally enjoyed his refreshing ideas to spice up an already established relationship. He has a unique and very charming approach to love, romance and blissful relationship. I absolutely agree that respecting and loving yourself is the first and most important step in respecting and loving someone else. So his book will empower you very well if you need encouragement. He shares that men more or less are interested in (high quality) sex. I guess it is not a big surprise. However, it seems that being very good in bed is more or less crucial in order to manage with the competition and 'keep `em satisfied'.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted October 15, 2006

    Good book

    Some good advice especially about Internet dating.

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 10, 2006

    Dr. Phil is RIGHT ON!

    I love Dr. Phil - he tells it like it is. Here is a great book whether you're single or in a relationship. Every woman should read it. I'm still looking and this is a direct approach to looking for the RIGHT ONE. Thanks, Dr. Phil

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 7, 2006

    Smart stuff from Smart Love

    This book ROCKS! I have learned so much the light bulb went on while reading about the ten insights to men. OMG...I have been so dumb and so blind for so long. I love you Dr.Phil..thank you for helping me define the character of me so I can find the character of him and the traits that I deserve!

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 22, 2006

    Mostly Common Sense

    I've read all of Dr. Phil's books and have gotten so much out of all the others. They were informative, interesting and really gave you something to think about (especially Self Matters). This one, 'Love Smart' is basic common sense in looking for a mate. It's the hoo-ha of what he says on his talk so, just very uninteresting. It's as though the's talking to a child. Then again, maybe someone who keeps making colossal blunders in the romance department needs this mundane advice. I love Dr. Phil and his books - but found this rudimentary in nature. It didn't keep me rivited as did the others.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 21, 2006

    Faboulous book!!!

    This book has done wonders in my life. When I first met my husband I could see that he was rough and drank a lot but I knew he had a good heart, So I married him and thought I could change him but after we fell out of love and he continued to drink I read this book and it showed me how I could fix my husband. It was great! Now I am divorced and the book makes a great door stop.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 5, 2006

    Good for improving relationships -- and

    If you are struggling with a relationship -- or want a relationship -- this book has a lot of good, practical, 'Dr. Phil kinds of ideas.' I recommend the book. The part about improving your relationship were good. But in trying out the ideas, some of them were not as useable or easy to remember for me. That's why I recommend a book that I just got for the holidays ...it's the book that Roger Fisher of harvard just published, 'Beyond Reason: Using Emotions as You Negotiate.' Beyond Reason fills the gap with its 5 crucial principles for building a healthy relationship.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 4, 2006

    Smart Guy

    Not only is he smart in regards to wisdom about everyday life and relationships, but he is a brilliant salesman. Think about it, having your own show to push your books, over and over again. No wonder it's a top seller.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 21, 2005

    Another Dr. Phil hit.

    Dr. Phil tells it like it is and many find that discomforting. Those who are willing to change love his style. This book is good for singles and married couples. Dr. Phil tells the singles how to present themselves in a better light. Dr. Phil also reveals the way men think in this book. If you get 'How to Date Your Wife' by Stan Cronin and find out what the wives told him in his survey's you will have both sides of the story. Both books are eye openers and both are available here on BN.com

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 7, 2005

    A new approach for Dr. Phil

    The goal of Love Smart is to help you get the relationship you want. It's driven by Dr. Phil's viewers who want a meaningful relationship, but find that it's a crazy dating world out there. This book is different than anything Dr. Phil has written before. It has a hipper, irreverent approach, while still being based in psychology, but still reflects the talk-show host's direct approach to life. It coaches the dater through the process of finding out what the other person really cares about, what their priorities in life are, and what they do for fun. It's biggest value is it takes you through the signs of what's a real deal-breaker, how to spot it early, and how to walk away so you don't waste time and get a broken heart. He stresses the importance of self-analysis, and says if you've got an attitude about you that you wouldn't find attractive in others, you have to consider someone else might not date you for that very same reason. My favorite quote from the book, 'You've got to fall in love with yourself. Not in a prideful way. But you have got to decide, 'These are good qualities about me.' Don't try to be all things to all people. Decide who you are and that is the horse we are going to ride all the way home.' Another book I enjoyed recently that helped me a great deal with self-awareness is 'The Emotional Intelligence Quickbook.' I saw it in Newsweek, and bought it because it let me test my emotional intelligence, or EQ, online. It was a fun read and helped me to learn A LOT about myself, so I think it's a great pairing with Dr. Phil's 'Love Smart.'

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 12, 2009

    No text was provided for this review.

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