Love Talk Workbook for Men: Speak Each Other's Language Like You Never Have Before

Overview

A breakthrough discovery in communication for transforming love relationships

Over and over couples consistently name 'improved communication' as the greatest need in their relationships. Love Talk---by acclaimed relationship experts Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott---is a deep yet simple plan full of new insights that will revolutionize communication in love relationships.

The first steps to improving this single most important factor in any ...

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Overview

A breakthrough discovery in communication for transforming love relationships

Over and over couples consistently name 'improved communication' as the greatest need in their relationships. Love Talk---by acclaimed relationship experts Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott---is a deep yet simple plan full of new insights that will revolutionize communication in love relationships.

The first steps to improving this single most important factor in any marriage or love relationship are to identify your fear factors and determine your personal communication styles, and then learn how the two of you can best interact. In this no-nonsense book, 'psychobabble' is translated into easy-to-understand language that clearly teaches you what you need to do---and not do---for speaking each other's language like you never have before.

* The Secret to Emotional Connection
* Charts and sample conversations
* The most important conversation you'll ever have
* A short course on Communication 101
* Appendix on Practical Help for the 'Silent Partner'

Two softcover 'his and hers' workbooks are full of lively exercises and enlightening self-tests that help couples apply what they are learning about communication directly to their relationships.

Love Talk is also available as an abridged Audio Pages CD.

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Editorial Reviews

Christian Retailing
'Couples will learn to communicate in a deep yet simple plan full of new insights that will revolutionize their relationships.' -- Christian Retailing
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780310262121
  • Publisher: Zondervan
  • Publication date: 10/1/2004
  • Pages: 80
  • Sales rank: 675,428
  • Product dimensions: 5.88 (w) x 9.00 (h) x 0.25 (d)

Meet the Author

Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott are founders of RealRelationships.com and the Center for Relationship Development at Seattle Pacific University. Their bestselling books include Love Talk, Crazy Good Sex, and the award-winning Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts. Their work has been featured in the New York Times and USA Today, and they have appeared on CNN, Good Morning America, and Oprah. They live with their two young sons in Seattle. SPANISH BIO: Les y Leslie forman un equipo como marido y mujer, y son expertos avanzados en los asuntos concernientes a las relaciones personales. Muestran sus experiencias como padres con el objetivo de ayudarte a cumplir la vocacion mas grande de u vida.
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Table of Contents

A Letter to Our Readers 5
1 Getting Where You Want to Go 7
2 Assessing Your Communication IQ 11
3 Your Current Couple-Communication Strengths 13
4 Let's Get Real 17
5 Finding the Time to Talk 21
6 Your Three Levels of Communication 23
7 Avoiding Unwanted Advice 25
8 Identifying Your Personal Fear Factor 27
9 Identifying Your Talk Style 29
10 The Head/Heart Self-Test 31
11 The Empathy Exercise 37
12 Speaking Her Language 39
13 Do You Hear What She Hears? 43
14 Reading Your Partner's Body Language 45
15 I Want to Read Your Mind 49
16 Is It Time to Clam Up? 51
17 Enough Advice Already! 53
18 Tuning In to Your Self-Talk 55
19 Testing Your Respect Levels 61
20 Talking from Your Strengths 65
Small Group Discussion Guide 67
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First Chapter

Love Talk Workbook for Men
EXERCISE 1
GETTING WHERE YOU WANT TO GO
Someone once said that the achievement of your goal is assured the moment you commit yourself to it. We certainly agree with that. But long before a commitment to a goal is made, one must thoroughly understand his goal. So in this first exercise we challenge you to drill down deep on this thought. We want you to give serious consideration to where you would like to be as a result of completing Love Talk.We have a few ways, right off the top, to help you do just that.
Begin by perusing the following list of potential goals as they relate to communication. Circle any and all that pertain to you. Of course, jot down the goal you may have that is not in this list.
* Be a better listener.
* Stay on point.
* Don't finish my partner's sentences.
* Curb my emotions when talking.
* Be more sensitive to my partner's feelings.
* Think clearly before speaking.
* Avoid jumping to conclusions.
* Tune in to and discern my partner's emotions.
* Maintain eye contact while talking.
* Be more vulnerable.
* Be more comfortable with conflict.
* Speak with more clarity.
* Invite and receive feedback.
* Use more humor.
* Come across personally warmer.
* Express more genuine interest.
* Be more assertive with my needs.
* Better assess when to talk.
* Don't jump to conclusions.
Once you have circled the ones that pertain to you, note a specific time and place where you'd like to see that improvement. For example, if you circled 'Be a better listener,' you may write next to it that you'd like to do that when your partner is talking about her day at work or maybe when she is talking about her mother. The point is to be specific so you can actually recognize and measure your improvement on this goal. So go back to this list now and write something beside the items you circled to make them more specific.
Next, consider the following five realms of communication and indicate on each of the scales where you see yourself on it. Be thoughtful and honest as you answer.
Information Sharing: Stating your thoughts and feelings with accuracy and clarity without getting sidetracked or embroiled in emotion.
Weak Strong 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Listening: Paying respectful attention to the content and feelings of another in a way that they know they have been accurately understood.
Weak Strong 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Conflict management: Being aware of conflict and employing methods to diffuse it and move beyond it.
Weak Strong 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Problem solving: Working out effective steps with one another to effectively and efficiently reach a desired state.
Weak Strong 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Skill selection: Determining which communication skills are most useful at specific times.
Weak Strong 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Once you have rated yourself on each of these five scales, you may want to have your partner rate you on these same items. This can heighten your self-awareness as you begin to articulate your communication goals.
Finally, in this exercise, write down two or three specific goals. Consider what you have done in the above exercise. Be specific. The more specific the better.
Goal 1: __________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________
Goal 2: __________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________
Goal 3: __________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________
Exercise 1: Getting Where You Want to Go K 9
Now that you have put your specific goals in writing, be aware of the huge step you have just taken. Only a very small percentage of people put their goals in writing---but those who do are more than twice as likely to reach them as those who just talk about them. And what's more, those who review their goals from time to time are ten times more likely to achieve them. So throughout Love Talk, we recommend that you revisit the goals to see how what you have just learned is bringing you closer to them.
Congratulations! You are off to a great start.
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