Love Unlimited: The Joys and Challenges of Open Relationships [NOOK Book]

Overview


Based on the case studies of 12 actual couples and individuals who are grappling with the complexities and challenges of “responsible nonmonogamy,” this helpful resource delves into various types of open relationships. The stories included have a varied cast of characters—monogamous, heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, and polyamorous—but they all share a desire to find practical and realistic solutions to their life situations. Each chapter concludes with tools and tips that provide valuable assistance for ...
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Love Unlimited: The Joys and Challenges of Open Relationships

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Overview


Based on the case studies of 12 actual couples and individuals who are grappling with the complexities and challenges of “responsible nonmonogamy,” this helpful resource delves into various types of open relationships. The stories included have a varied cast of characters—monogamous, heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, and polyamorous—but they all share a desire to find practical and realistic solutions to their life situations. Each chapter concludes with tools and tips that provide valuable assistance for grasping the subject covered. Accompanied by short texts that give fascinating insights into how other cultures and traditions, from the Taoist to the Celtic and beyond, have accommodated nonmonogamous relationships, this remarkable exploration offers a down-to-earth approach to a growing population.
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Editorial Reviews

Polyamory in the News blog

Highly recommended for anyone who wants to understand real-world polyamory or simply to learn relationship skills for a happier marriage . . . this book needs to be in the hands of therapists.

From the Publisher

"What's not to like? An excellent 'Taoist Sex 101' for wary beginners; recommended for all public libraries."  —Library Journal

"A beautiful example of how to personalize the information and methods carried forward from past Taoist teachings with meaningful clarification from today’s knowledge."  —Mantak Chia, Taoist master, author, The Multi-Orgasmic Couple

"Friendly in outlook, charming in tone, illustrated appropriately, and works very gently and patiently with areas that are often fraught with tension and 'dirtiness' in our culture."  —Livia Kohn, professor, Boston University

"Highly recommended for anyone who wants to understand real-world polyamory or simply to learn relationship skills for a happier marriage this book needs to be in the hands of therapists."  —Polyamory in the News blog

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781844093717
  • Publisher: Findhorn Press
  • Publication date: 8/1/2010
  • Sold by: Barnes & Noble
  • Format: eBook
  • Pages: 192
  • Sales rank: 420,570
  • File size: 3 MB

Meet the Author


Leonie Linsen is a polyamorous and bisexual coach and counselor. Stephan Wik is a Taoist practitioner and the codirector of the Wuji Centre in Belgium. He is the author of Beyond Tantra.
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Table of Contents

Leonie's Introduction 11

Stephan's Introduction 15

1 Multiple Loves Evelyn 19

Commitment phobia 21

Interpersonal connections 23

Intimacy and commitment phobia 26

Polyamory and Friends With Benefits 27

Questions you might ask yourself 29

Tips for managing multiple relationships 29

2 An Impossible Love Christine 31

Falling in love with someone else 33

Understanding feelings of guilt and shame 34

Acceptance 35

Self-compassion 36

Exploring being in love 37

Taking personal responsibility 38

Making choices 39

Freeing up energy to make choices happen 39

Questions you can ask yourself if you fall in love with someone else 41

Tips for being in love with someone other than your partner 42

3 I Couldn't Help It: Recovering From An Affair John Maria 43

The consequences of cheating 45

Dealing with the aftermath - not all advice is useful 47

Take time 47

Getting clear about relationship objectives 48

The wonder question 49

Effective communication 50

Active listening 50

Acknowledging your partner 51

Speaking honestly 51

Sexual relationships and the passing of time 53

When sexual desire is mismatched 54

Sex and love 56

Questions you might ask yourself 58

Tips for life after cheating 58

4 A Secret Relationship Ellie Mary 59

Falling in love and New Relationship Energy (NRE) 62

Dealing with NRE 63

Five tools to help resist falling in love 63

Broken trust 64

Forgiveness 65

Forgiveness tips 65

The"See It Through My Eyes" exercise 66

Acknowledgement and compassion 67

Revenge and getting even 68

Codependent relationships 70

The law of elasticity 70

Finding our own ways 72

Questions you can ask yourself from time to time 74

Tips for developing autonomy 74

5 Love in the Workplace Monica 75

When relationships change 78

Power and dependency 79

Boundaries and equality 83

Freedom and equality 83

Negative feelings as messengers from our needs 84

Questions you can ask yourself 86

Tips for setting boundaries 87

6 A Bisexual Solution Bridget Arthur Rose 89

Agreements and expectations 92

Bisexual myths 94

Bisexual identity 95

Positive attention 97

Bisexual desires and experiences 99

Making clear agreements 100

The transition from one partner to another 101

Questions to ask yourself 103

Tips for opening your relationship when bisexuality is present 104

7 Opening Up Esther Peter 105

A firm foundation 106

Opening up a relationship 107

Successful strategies for sustainable relationships 108

Habits and taking each other for granted 110

Invest in your relationship 111

The communication surveys 112

Improving communication 113

Dealing with jealousy 115

Questions you can ask yourself 121

Tips for expanding the limits of your relationship 121

8 Swinging: Stretching Sexual Boundaries Karen George 123

Unexpected results 124

Swinging: it's still a taboo 125

How to enjoy sex in a swingers club 127

Releasing expectations 129

Finding out where boundaries are by crossing them 130

Questions you can ask yourself and each other 134

Tips if you are considering a swinger's lifestyle 134

9 Loving Release: When Paths Diverge Marilyn William 135

Coming out as polyamorous 137

The mono-poly relationship 140

Looking into the mirror 142

Escape strategies 142

Acknowledging reality 144

The seven years writing exercise 146

Acknowledging that we are different from each other 147

Parting ways 148

Taking farewell consciously 148

Parting rituals 149

Questions you can ask yourself 152

Tips for releasing lovingly 152

10 The End Of Sex, Or Maybe Nor? David Sue 153

The absence of a sexual relationship 155

The side-effect of unfulfilled needs 157

The path to the desired solution 159

Discovering through experience 161

Dating and meeting online 161

Privacy 163

What do yon tell the children? 164

Questions you can ask yourself 166

Tips for a complementary sexual relationship 167

11 When Worlds Collide: Open vs. Secret Relationships Henry 169

Secrets and open relationships 170

The influence of our values and beliefs 171

Discovering our own values and beliefs 173

'The balance of life wheel 174

Questions you can ask yourself 175

Tips for complementary relationships 175

12 The Triad Mark Yvonne Lisa 177

Some like love, some like sex 179

Relationship agreements 179

Living our authenticity 181

The joys and challenges of a triad 184

The different relationships in a triad 186

Relationship patterns and interactions in a triad 191

Questions you can ask yourself 195

Tips for triads 195

Afterword - Living from Love 197

Acknowledgements Stephan 199

Acknowledgements Leonie 201

Sources of Inspiration and Further Resources 205

Love Unlimited web site 205

Author's web sites 205

Useful web sites 205

Polyamory forums 206

Coaching games 206

Books 206

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