Loving Midlife Marriage: A Guide to Keeping Romance Alive from the Empty Nest through Retirement

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"A much—needed and excellent work. Dr. Polston has opened a whole new field of study with this tremendous research on family health and happiness. Living better longer is a great goal, and what you will discover here may well add a new dimension to your life. I enjoyed Loving Midlife Marriage immensely." –Art Linkletter, Emmy— and Grammy—Award—winning TV personality and, President of the UCLA Center on Aging Board of Trustees

"Pioneering and unique . . . looks at the empty nest and retirement marriage square in the face and gives wives and

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Overview

"A much—needed and excellent work. Dr. Polston has opened a whole new field of study with this tremendous research on family health and happiness. Living better longer is a great goal, and what you will discover here may well add a new dimension to your life. I enjoyed Loving Midlife Marriage immensely." –Art Linkletter, Emmy— and Grammy—Award—winning TV personality and, President of the UCLA Center on Aging Board of Trustees

"Pioneering and unique . . . looks at the empty nest and retirement marriage square in the face and gives wives and husbands the tools to live happily ever after. When the last child leaves and you’re wondering ‘Who is this person I’m married to?’, read it."–Betty Booker, "Prime Living," Richmond Times—Dispatch

"This book pulls the tape off the hidden spots and instructs the reader how to maintain a good marriage and repair a weakening one. Loving Midlife Marriage is a must read for anyone entering into or struggling with the midlife or retirement years."–Sylvia Weishaus, Ph.D., cofounder of the Making Marriage Work program

"Loving Midlife Marriage opens up a lot of critical issues for discussion between husband and wife."–Jeanne Segal, Ph.D., author of Raising Your Emotional Intelligence: A Practical Guide

Here is an inspiring, practical guide to getting the most out of your midlife marriage. Most marriages face challenges during midlife. This is often caused by two factors: the empty nest and retirement. With the empty nest, you endure the loss of your role as active mother or father; with retirement, you suffer the loss of a role your job gave you for most of your life. Issues in your marriage that seemed to have been settled years ago are up for discussion once again. Loving Midlife Marriage shows you how to deal with:

  • Increased time together and changes in personal space
  • Joint and separate activities
  • Sex and romance issues
  • Your adult children

With good communication tools, compassion, and humor, Dr. Betty Polston shows how you can use the extraordinary opportunities midlife offers to gain new perspectives on your marriage. Based on the author’s years of research, filled with questionnaires, advice, and personal anecdotes, Loving Midlife Marriage can help you learn how to grow your marriage to fit your needs. In fact, your midlife marriage may just be the start of a whole new you!

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Editorial Reviews

Library Journal
Polston, a California psychotherapist, has been studying and counseling midlife couples for over 25 years. Based on both her own experience and her interviews with 100 empty-nesters and recent retirees, this book considers change within a happy marriage, the effect of midlife crises, letting go of your adult children and enhancing your empty-nest marriage, retirement, and nourishing a retirement marriage. She clearly discusses issues such as the loss of important roles, the retooling of your identities, increased conflicts, and creating midlife rituals. She relates the problems that she and her husband faced, first when he retired and then seven years later when they became empty nesters. Each chapter contains exercises, comments by patients, and serious, reflective "questions for growth," which can open up discussion between spouses. Because the book moves methodically along, with few chatty feel-good stories, the lay reader may at first find it slow-going. The reader is expected to work, participate, and discuss--not just sit back and be entertained. Still, this will likely be popular in public libraries.--Susan E. Burdick, Lower Merion Sch. Dist., Ardmore, PA Copyright 1999 Cahners Business Information.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780471314530
  • Publisher: Wiley, John & Sons, Incorporated
  • Publication date: 1/28/1999
  • Edition number: 1
  • Pages: 272
  • Product dimensions: 6.04 (w) x 8.98 (h) x 0.78 (d)

Meet the Author

Betty L. Polston, Ph.D., is a psychotherapist, researcher, and career counselor who has been studying and counseling aging couples for 25 years. She has given numerous lectures, seminars, and workshops about relationship issues among over?40 couples. Dr. Polston has appeared on CBS This Morning and other television and radio programs.
Susan K. Golant, M.A., is a successful writer who has coauthored numerous books, including the prizewinning book Helping Someone with Mental Illness, with former First Lady Rosalynn Carter.
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Table of Contents

SUDDENLY THE ALGEBRA SHIFTS.

Scenes from a Midlife Marriage.

Some Things Change; Others Never Will.

The Growth Circle.

THE EMPTY NEST AND YOUR MIDLIFE YEARS.

Empty-Nest Mothers and Midlife Concerns.

Empty-Nest Fathers and Midlife Concerns.

Letting Go and Finding Your PPQ.

ENJOYING YOUR MIDLIFE MARRIAGE.

Replenishing Your "I" Account.

Your "You" Account: Taking Care of Each Other.

The Seven Marital Themes and the Empty-Nest Marriage: Tending to the "Us."

Use Relationship Reviews to Enhance Communication.

Sex and the Midlife Couple.

THE RETIREMENT YEARS.

Retirement: For Better or Worse...But Not for Lunch.

What Work and Retirement Mean to Men.

What Work and Retirement Mean to Women.

MANAGING SHIFTING NEEDS IN YOUR RETIREMENT MARRIAGE.

Turf Tiffs, Time Zones, and Chore Wars.

Meaningful Activities.

The Importance of Family and Friends during Retirement.

Sex and the Retirement Couple.

The Seven Marital Themes and the Retirement Marriage.

Epilogue: Bring on Tomorrow—We're Ready!

Notes.

References.

Index.

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