Make Love the Bruce Campbell Way

( 22 )

Overview

"This approach generates some of the most witty showbiz lunacy since This Is Spinal Tap."

—-Sacramento News & Review

What you're reading right now is known as the "flap copy." This is where the 72,444 words of my latest book are cooked down to fit this space. But how does one do that? Do you reveal pivotal plot points like the one at the end of the book where the little girl on crutches points an accusing ...

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Make Love the Bruce Campbell Way

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Overview

"This approach generates some of the most witty showbiz lunacy since This Is Spinal Tap."

—-Sacramento News & Review

What you're reading right now is known as the "flap copy." This is where the 72,444 words of my latest book are cooked down to fit this space. But how does one do that? Do you reveal pivotal plot points like the one at the end of the book where the little girl on crutches points an accusing finger and shouts, "The killer is Mr. Potter"?

I have too much respect for you as an attention-deficient consumer to attempt such an obvious ruse. But let's not play games here. You picked up the book already, so you either:

A. Know who I am

B. Liked the cool smoking jacket I'm wearing on the cover

C. Have just discovered that the bookstore restroom is out of toilet paper

Is it a sequel to my autobiography If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a B Movie Actor? Sadly, no, which made it much harder to write. According to my publisher, I haven't "done" enough since 2001 to warrant another memoir.

Is it an "autobiographical novel"? Yes. I'm the lead character in the story, and I'm a real person, and everything in the book actually happened, except for the stuff that didn't.

The action revolves around my preparations for a pivotal role in the A-list relationship film Let's Make Love! But my Homeric attempt to break through the glass ceiling of B-grade genre fare is hampered by a vengeful studio executive and a production that becomes infected by something called the "B movie virus," symptoms of which include excessive use of cheesy special effects, slapstick, and projectile vomiting.

From a violent fistfight with a Buddhist to a life-altering stint in federal prison, this novel has it all. And if the 72,444 words are too time-consuming, there are lots and lots of cool graphics.

Regards,

Bruce "Don't Call Me Ash" Campbell

Praise for Make Love the Bruce Campbell Way

"It's a great, goofy what-if."

—-Entertainment Weekly

"Ultimately, Make Love is a Bruce Campbell novel, starring Bruce Campbell, written for Bruce Campbell fans for whom Bruce Campbell can do no wrong. They'll no doubt find Campbell's latest endeavor nothing short of—-to quote one of his most famous characters—-groovy."

—-The Onion

"One of the most delightfully deranged experiences you'll have reading this year. Hail to the king, baby."

—-Rue Morgue

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Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly
Satire and sharp one-liners are the engines powering low-budget movie hero Campbell's (If Chins Could Kill) first autobiographical novel, a funny, breezy, high-camp affair. After dispensing B-movie witticisms on romance and navigating love scenes, Sci-Fi channel schlock film actor "Bruce Campbell" is unexpectedly offered the A-list role of a "wise-cracking doorman" and "emotional lynchpin" in the new Mike Nichols romantic comedy Let's Make Love, starring Richard Gere and Renee Zellweger. After getting fully immersed in calamitous role research at the Waldorf-Astoria, Campbell postures (and annoys) his way through the first read-through with indifferent cast members, runs lines with a timid Gere, crassly advises Zellweger on how to accentuate her bust line, dishes ex-husbands with Liz Taylor and berates the film's director of photography, Oscar-winning Vilmos Zsigmond (whose name Campbell spells Sigmund). After a Secret Service ambush and more movie set mayhem, Campbell's A-List luck finally runs out. But not even a bumbling S.W.A.T. team can stop this determined day player from getting his due. Campbell knows of what he writes, and this endless barrage of extreme silliness obviously spoofs (and quite possibly mirrors) a frenzied acting career made up of equal parts exasperation and hilarity. Agent, Jodi Reamer at Writers House. (June 13) Copyright 2005 Reed Business Information.
Kirkus Reviews
A rollicking spoof by B-list actor Campbell, hero of the Evil Dead series, who attempts to rise above his station and wreaks havoc in the bargain. There is a B-list, and there is the A-list, and never the twain shall meet, especially for the fellow who, like the author, just happens to be named Bruce Campbell, a man who ostensibly romances leading women but really "hoards Victoria's Secret catalogs" and is otherwise a bit of a nebbish. Bizarrely, as if in an alternate-universe setup from one of the myriad Sci-Fi channel shows on which Campbell can be seen, Mike Nichols requests him to play the role of a wisecracking doorman in his next film, a hip update of Let's Make Love, with Renee Zellweger and Richard Gere in the place of Marilyn Monroe and Yves Montand. Campbell dutifully appears on location, layers his lines with a hammy backstory of his own concoction and amazes his fellow actors by his very presence. Things get better, and soon Campbell, secret agent of schlock, is running his lines with Richard Gere, coaching Renee's costume designer and the star herself in B-tricks for accentuating breasts and bottom, and even outing the great cinematographer Vilmos Zsigmond (not Sigmund, as Campbell has it) as the filmic force behind long-forgotten embarrassments such as Psycho a Go-Go and Wild and Willing. Enter, as the story unfolds, the likes of Robert Evans and Jack Nicholson (who's contemplating capping off Chinatown, about water, and The Two Jakes, about oil, with a film about vinegar), and the A-world begins to take on deeper shades of B. The story takes silly twists-well, sillier than what's come before-as Campbell eludes SWAT team shooters and feds before winding up in the slam,where, "with a little ingenuity and two cartons of Kool Extras, I worked my way up to cleaning executive offices." Scratch the willing suspension of disbelief. But never mind: this is good fun, and lots of it. And besides, anyone who allows that Carrot Top's agent is Satan is all right.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780312312619
  • Publisher: St. Martin's Press
  • Publication date: 8/22/2006
  • Edition description: First Edition
  • Pages: 368
  • Sales rank: 640,282
  • Product dimensions: 6.00 (w) x 9.00 (h) x 0.82 (d)

Meet the Author

Bruce Campbell's first book, If Chins Could Kill, was a major sleeper hit and became a New York Times and national bestseller. He is the ultimate B actor. In addition to starring in the huge cult hit the Evil Dead series and a series of independent genre films, he has had featured roles in the recent Spider-Man movies as well as the award-winning independent crime drama Running Time. He lives in Oregon.

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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4
( 22 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star

(12)

4 Star

(2)

3 Star

(7)

2 Star

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1 Star

(1)

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See All Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 22 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted August 30, 2009

    Fun and Witty

    I did not read Bruce's first book, so I can not compare. What I can say is that I laughed throughout the whole story. Bruce Campbell has proven with this book that he is more than the guy in the Evil Dead movies but a talented writer with a flare for anecdotes.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted February 7, 2009

    more from this reviewer

    I Also Recommend:

    A voice from the outside looking in!

    when you think of bruce campbell , you think of either 2 things, " is it that guy from that movie called " evil dead and the other sequals!" or " was he in that tv show burn notice" well if you say those thing then you shoould probley read this book !<BR/><BR/>It litteraly a part fiction , part real! which makes it a lot funny . Hearing an acter who is known in the " B-rated" as a super star, trying to make his way to stardom...in the A-list.<BR/>but theres a bunch of crazey antics along the way that makes it even more addictiv then is first book " if chins could kill" this is one of the funnest book that ash...um i mean bruce have ever made

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 1, 2007

    A reviewer

    Well the book was actually pretty bad but I can't give anything less that 5 stars to Bruce Campbell.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 24, 2006

    Loved It!

    I have not purchased the actual 'book'. What I DO have is the 6-CD audio-book presented in radio theater style dramatization. It's Bruce Campbell reading his parts with a cast of various others being the voices of the other characters. I did make the mistake of listening to this in my car, and the constant fits of laughter made it difficult to drive safely, I can tell you. Although I wonder if all the accounts in this book are actually TRUE, it was definitely a humorous and enjoyable way to spend six hours. I loved it.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted March 26, 2012

    To leafdapple

    According to the clans, ur a med cat. Im wondering why ur here WITH A MATE? YOUR CLAN IS LOOKING FOR YOU!

    0 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 6, 2007

    Bruce Campbell....

    well I'd have to say I didn't like as much as If Chins Could Kill. It was funny and all but I felt that it was dragging on a little too long. But still is a great book, so I recommend it.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted June 24, 2005

    dont listen to the other guy

    This book is hilarious, mainly a collection of little stories all rolled up into one. I read the thing in the bookstore, just laughed the whole time through.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted June 15, 2005

    Amusing

    Big Bruce Campbell fan, and was waiting for this one to come out. But while this book was amusing, it really lacked the wit and humor of 'If Chins Could Kill'. The story really wasn't that deep nor clever. The little pictures on each turn of the page provided the most laughs. Bruce really is a funny guy, it just doesn't come across in this book.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
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    Posted October 25, 2008

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