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Posted August 17, 2012
I thought it was great. The apprentice ceramony seemed really rushed. Make it longer. I love the detail. Still cats dont know what suummer is or angels. Unless you mean the angel fish. Then thats okay. But summer is greenleaf to them. Well, you did a great job. Please continue!Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted August 16, 2012
Angelkit was so excited. Today is her apprentice ceremony! They were finally out of the nursery. Nightfeather's kits had already become apprentices and Goldenpearl had given birth to Tulipkit and Fishkit. "All cats old enough to catch their own prey gather beneath Talltree for a clan meeting!" Once all the cats had gathered, Splashstar called Angelkit and Windykit forward. "Angelkit and Windykit, do you promise to work hard and follow the warrior code?" "I do." Both kits replied. "Angelkit, you are now Angelpaw, and your mentor is Silverwind. Windykit, you are now Windypaw and your mentor is Kestrelfeather." Both apprentices and mentors touched noses. The clan meeting was over. "When can we start training?" Angelpaw asked eagerly. Silverwind smiled. "Now if you want to." "Great! I wanna learn fighting and hunting, and everything!" "Of course, but first we must tour the territory." Angelpaw nodded. For the second time that day, she felt extremely excited. It was her first time out of camp! As she stepped out from camp with her mentor, her silver eyes widened with amazement. "Whoa," Angelpaw gasped. Huge trees. The sound of prey in the bushes. All the new scents. Angelpaw felt like squealing like a kit. "Amazing, isn't it," Silverwind murmured. "I had the same reaction you did my first time in the forest. But that isn't all of SummerClan's territory. Let's go to the borders. Be careful not to step over them, or PythonClan* might claw your ears off."~ ~ End of Part One** ~ ~ *sorry to any clan called PythonClan ** I'm running out of time right now so Part Two of Chapter Two will be made later.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.