Mark O'Connell has 25 years of experience working in intensive psychotherapies with men, women, couples, and teenagers. He teaches at Harvard Medical School and Cambridge Hospital. He is the author of The Good Father and appears regularly on the Fox New England network. He has also appeared on NPR and other radio programs
The Marriage Benefit: The Surprising Rewards of Staying Togetherby Mark O'Connell
THE MARRIAGE BENEFIT is less a book about how to make our relationships better than it is about how our relationships can make us better if we just work on our
Baby boomers' expectations for their marriages are often unrealistic. When their relationship comes up short on romance and sex, but seems long on disagreements and strife, many boomers choose to leave.
THE MARRIAGE BENEFIT is less a book about how to make our relationships better than it is about how our relationships can make us better if we just work on our expectations and improve communications. Harvard Medical School clinical instructor and psychotherapist O'Connell offers a peek behind the door of a marriage therapist, where readers can see that their problems are not unique.
Through wonderfully revealing anecdotes of couples with problems many of us face: long-held bitterness, diminished sexuality, the scars of infidelity, and the search for authentic meaning, O'Connell shows how by respecting each other's individuality, looking for "real" sex, and learning how to play with each other again, we can reap the benefits of the long-term emotional investment we've made.
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This is a fabulous book. It tells stirring stories of real people who, in their 40s, 50s, 60s, have found creative ways to go beyond the pain of infidelity, the threat of illness, the weight of habit, and the bitterness of old misunderstandings. O'Connell says 'celebrate your differences'---develop your own selfhood by coming up against another person's perspective. He says 'have real sex'--messy, funny, human sex that's part of a private conversation, in contrast to the kind of ritualized performance and sexual athleticism the outside culture promotes. He shows how adventure, play, discovery, and a deeper intimacy are the ultimate benefits of a long-term marriage. This book is a must-read for anyone working on the most important relationship they will ever have.