Marriage Shock: The Transformation of Women into Wives [NOOK Book]

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Overview

Relationship expert Dalma Heyn asks not what is good for marriage but what is good for women in marriage—a question, she finds, that promises a much different answer and more fulfilling lives
Marriage, as we are told, makes a woman complete, more womanly. Why, then, do so many brides discover that the fun-loving, passionate single gal they used to be has been transformed into a woman recognizable only as a wife—a woman who unconsciously represses her own needs, wants, and vitality “for the sake of the marriage”? Attacking the pervasive cultural myths that ask a wife to choose between her marriage and her own growth and self-expansion, Marriage Shock...

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More About This Book

Overview

Relationship expert Dalma Heyn asks not what is good for marriage but what is good for women in marriage—a question, she finds, that promises a much different answer and more fulfilling lives
Marriage, as we are told, makes a woman complete, more womanly. Why, then, do so many brides discover that the fun-loving, passionate single gal they used to be has been transformed into a woman recognizable only as a wife—a woman who unconsciously represses her own needs, wants, and vitality “for the sake of the marriage”? Attacking the pervasive cultural myths that ask a wife to choose between her marriage and her own growth and self-expansion, Marriage Shock explores the ways in which wives can overcome deeply ingrained social and personal expectations and flourish both as wives and as individuals. This ebook features a new introduction by Dalma Heyn and an illustrated biography including rare photos from the author’s personal collection.

With American women initiating two thirds of all divorces, the controversial, bestselling author of The Erotic Silence of the American Wife explores why the institution of marriage is failing them and what can be done. Marriage Shock will promote a vigorous debate over how husbands and wives can reinvent our most rigid institution so that both spouses will have marriages in which they can thrive. 224 pp. National ads. Author tour. 50,000 print.

Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly
Editor and writer Heyn (The Erotic Silence of the American Wife) advocates here a radical transformation of marriage to save the institution. She presents convincing anecdotal evidence, based on interviews with young wives, that modern women are still victimized by the 17th-century ideal of a "good wife," who not only is responsible for the success of the marital union but also must give up her own ideas, pleasures and pastimes to achieve harmony with her husband. The author presents an interesting historical overview of the good wife, who, according to Heyn, was exemplified in 17th- and 18th-century books of conduct for wives, some of which she quotes from. Heyn advises women to support one another and to maintain their own identities after marrying, rather than compromising themselves within marriage as a way of avoiding divorce. Readers should note that Heyn's advice is directed only to middle-class women-the group on which her study is based. Advertising; author tour. (Apr.)
Library Journal
The divorce rate is so high, Heyn contends, because newly married women are gripped by the vision of the self-sacrificing Victorian "angel of the house," suppressing their true personalities and needs not at the instigation of their husbands but in homage to this outmoded ideal. Aside from the fact that nothing but anecdotal evidence is offered to support this contention, the book's problem is that this is basically all it says; thus, it seems tedious though it is short. Many feminist authors, from Virginia Woolf to Carol Gilligan, have discussed the same issue in a broader context. Since the author's previous book (The Erotic Silence of the American Wife, LJ 6/15/92) was successful, public libraries may need to purchase for demand; otherwise, this title can be skipped. [Previewed in Prepub Alert, LJ 12/96.]-Mary Ann Hughes, Neill P.L., Pullman, Wash.

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781453211533
  • Publisher: Open Road Publishing
  • Publication date: 2/8/2011
  • Sold by: Barnes & Noble
  • Format: eBook
  • Pages: 206
  • Sales rank: 737,447
  • File size: 1 MB
  • Items ship to U.S, APO/FPO and U.S. Protectorate addresses.

Meet the Author

Dalma Heyn, who earned her master’s degree in social work at New York University, has been writing about love, marriage and relationships for twenty-five years. She is the bestselling author of The Erotic Silence of the American Wife, Marriage Shock, and Drama Kings, as well as the host of the regionally broadcast television program The Love Goddess Show. She is the former editor in chief of Health magazine, executive editor of McCall’s, and columnist for Mademoiselle and New Woman. She has appeared as a social commentator and guest author on Oprah, Good Morning America, Today, and The View, among others.

Table of Contents

Introduction
1 Matrimorphosis: Women into Wives 3
2 The Witness 28
3 The Wife 46
4 The Ghost of Marriage Past 74
5 Marriage Shock 88
6 Reverberations 105
7 Of Two Minds 124
8 The Protection Racket 141
9 The Single Standard 163
10 How to Murder a Wife 176
Acknowledgments 199
Selected Bibliography 201
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