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Bookstore shelves are full of parenting resources for moms who are newly divorced or widowed. But where do moms turn if they feel like a single parent—but they’re not? Whether he is away on business, deployed in the military, or obsessing over a computer game, dad may not be available for a variety of reasons. Moms who parent in this situation still need help and don’t necessarily relate to the advice given in divorce recovery or single parenting resources. Married Mom, Solo Parent is a common-sense, down-to-earth look at the struggles wives and mothers face when their husband is not actively involved in family life.
What in the world am I doing reviewing a book for women, for moms, for "solo parents"?
Well, here's what went through my head when Kregel first contacted me about reviewing this book: We have "solo moms" at Cornerstone, some of whom are the primary spiritual influencers in their children's lives, so-o-o, I figured this book would give me a leg up on understanding them and helping other women to help them.
Well, I was partly right, partly wrong.
This is a very helpful book. I'll say that right up front. The experience of the author alone would be worth it. Add to that the testimonies of many others in similar circumstances and any woman who finds herself in this same position (and there are many) will immediately find those with whom her heart rings.
These married moms, solo parents find themselves married to:
• a man in the military
• a long-distance truck driver
• a busy doctor or lawyer
• an executive, traveling businessman, or workaholic
• an alcoholic
There are hard questions that these women face every day:
• How do I find time to spend with God?
• How can I honor my husband and teach my children to honor him when there are times I wish he'd never come home?
• How can I raise my kids with consistency when my husband comes home and changes the rules?
• What do I do when my kids are suffering in some way because of my husband's absence or lack of involvement?
The final chapter is actually written by the author's husband, Trent. This fascinated me, simply because he's the one who, in part, caused this book to be written. And he admits this, even confesses, if you will. This added an extra note of encouragement. He writes his final words to these suffering women. Yet I think his words would be equally valuable for those men in their lives.
This would be an excellent resource for a women's ministry in the church or for the mom's in your church who find themselves in Carla Anne's shoes.
Momspiration
Posted November 30, 2011
I read the book, trying to imagine what it would be like to be a solo parent; Carla made it easy. Her heart-breaking stories of neglect by the local church made me want to send copies of the book to every pastor and leader in church ministry, and to every regular church-goer, for that matter. I only hope that I will be more sensitive to and understanding of the needs of my married friends who are going it alone.
The book¿s subtitle is Finding Strength to Face the Challenge. I have to admit, I initially found myself wanting to re-subtitle it, "Finding Strength to Immerse His iPad in the Dog Water." Carla offers no "fix-it" solutions for the uninvolved husband, which, at first glance, may seem hopeless.
But that's because I'm not a married-single parent.
This book is for those who have tried everything short of divorce, because they happen to believe that God offers something higher than escape from such a marriage. With tenderness and grace, Carla puts that ¿something¿ well within reach, in a refreshing and surprising way. Adhering fiercely to Biblical standards for marriage, Carla gives readers permission¿not to settle for an apathetic coexistence¿but to unapologetically honor the husbands God gave them, and to expect to thrive in the process. And she shows them how.
Carla also offers practical advice in areas such as discipline, chores, intimacy, community, and mealtimes, making this a must-have reference for married-single moms.
(I received a free copy of this book from Kregel Publications for my honest review.)
sunflower_faith
Posted October 25, 2011
By the time I was finished with,"Married Mom, Solo Parent", it was dog earred, highlighted, and post-it noted, everywhere; This is a book that I would recommend for moms who find themselves in that awkward category of, not single, but feeling not married as their spouses are away due to military, maybe their husband's jobs requires him to be on the road for days, weeks, or even months at the time, or they are in situations where a spouse has illnesses that has made it difficult to be an active partner in the marriage, struggling with addiction, or just any situation, that has left the married mom, on her own and yet married.
This is not a book that trashes the husband, but instead, as the author, Carla Anne Coroy, loving shares in the preface, "A solo parent is someone who is raising children and running a home and family alone" (pg.11), and geared toward married women whose husbands jobs require them to be away from home majority of the time.
Addressing topical issues such as discipline, chore divisions, life in the community and more, "Married Mom, Solo Parent", doesn't demonizes husbands whose keep depends on them, often working away from the home, bringing to mind, women whose husbands are in the military or are workaholics and even if they aren't workaholics, just required to travel as part of their job requirement, Carla Anne Coroy uses both grace, humor, honesty and Scripture to help encourage married women on how to balance: life, raising children and being a wife and woman.
I like how on page 45, Carla Anne Coroy shared honestly, the double jeopardy that a married woman, whose solo parenting feels when she (Carla Anne Coroy) shares the following observation:
"Many solo parents are afraid of being honest, at least out loud, about the situation they are in. After years of hearing that we need to respect, honor and support our husbands, we find it difficult to speak truth when it does not make shine. We're afraid of being the woman who trashes her husband with her words or ruins his reputation in his absence. So we carry the shame: shame of being the unsatisfied wife, of spinning a yarn of excuses, of what our situation may symbolize or predict."
She presents hope though when she later says,"It took me many years to respectfully tell the truth regarding Trent's choices. We have to remember that God calls us to be imitators of Christ. Jesus often offended others. As a matter of fact, he was called the Rock of Offense (Rom 9:33 NASB,KJV). Naturally, we need to be careful. The truth we speek needs to be covered in love".
With a chapter, written by her husband, sharing a husband's viewpoint and offering from a male perspective, what husbands usually see and/or don't often say about a "Married Mom, Solo Parent", this is a book that needs to be read by those who are going through the,"Married Mom, Solo Parent" stages in their life and also should and need to be read not only by those who may know of women in those situations, to help gain a better insight of what life is really like for the, "Married Mom, Solo Parent", but even by those who are involved in the church in whatever capacity, for a better understanding of how the body of Christ can reach out to those moms who are not single, but not fully married either.
"Married Mom, Solo Parent" is an excellent book and a humbling read.
JamieLittle
Posted October 14, 2011
While many women in this situation have deep roots of bitterness, Carla Anne comes across in a manner that encourages other women and stresses the importance of honoring and supporting your husband. This book is chock-full of helpful information for any mom, not just those who have an absent husband; I was highly impressed with the suggestions provided. One of the most interesting parts of this book was near the end, when Carla Anne spoke about how to handle the situation when your husband decides or has the opportunity to reintegrate himself into your normal family life again. This book was very well written and I was super impressed with the way Carla Anne encouraged her readers to really support their husbands and not create negative energy in the house.
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Overview
Bookstore shelves are full of parenting resources for moms who are newly divorced or widowed. But where do moms turn if they feel like a single parent—but they’re not? Whether he is away on business, deployed in the military, or obsessing over a computer game, dad may not be available for a variety of reasons. Moms who parent in this situation still need help and don’t necessarily relate to the advice given in divorce recovery or single parenting resources. Married Mom, Solo Parent is a common-sense, ...