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If real life were like the movies, Prince Charming would be waiting for you with a kiss and a ring at the end of an hour and forty minutes. As it is, the Prince seems to be otherwise detained and you're home stranded, wondering why only Mr. Good Enough seems interested. The truth of the matter, of course, is that Prince Charmings are so exceedingly rare that even film goddesses are often left wondering what went wrong. In 2008, Lori Gottlieb punctured our film fantasies by arguing in an Atlantic article that waiting for the perfect mate is not worth it. Her Marry Him states not only the rationale of her case, but also explains why a healthy marriage is based on much more than a must-have list. Now in paperback and NOOKbook.
Prologue: The Husband Store 1
Pt. 1 How Did We Get Here?
The Dating Trenches 15
The Romantic Comedy That Predicted My Future 33
How Feminism Fucked Up My Love Life 43
Speed Dating Disaster 61
Pt. 2 From Fantasy To Reality
Older, and Wanting to Be Wiser 73
$3,500 for Love 86
The What Versus the Why 107
Mondays with Evan - Session One: The Percentages 119
It's Not Him, It's You 128
Pt. 3 Making Smarter Choices
Don't Be Picky, Be Happy 145
Mondays with Evan - Session Two: The Wrong Assumptions 157
The Men Who Got Away 167
Pulling Another Sheldon 178
Mondays with Evan - Session Three: The Lowdown on Alpha Males 184
What First Dates Really Tell Us 191
Are Women Pickier Than Men? 203
Pt. 4 What Really Matters
Mondays with Evan - Session Four: Wants Versus Needs 215
The Business of Love 226
Love at Twenty-seventh Sight 244
Mondays with Evan - Session Five: The Chemistry-to-Compatibility Ratio 252
Dump the List, Not the Guy 263
Pt. 5 Putting It All Together
The Good Enough Marriage 273
A Visit with the Rabbi 282
Claire's Story - Getting Over Myself 291
Alexandra's Story - Mr. Right in Front of Me 297
Hilary's Story - Finding What I Needed 302
My Story - A Dating Public Service Announcement 308
Epilogue: Where They Are Now 316
Acknowledgments 319
Anonymous
Posted February 10, 2010
Not a new one, but the concept is good that women should be more reasonable and less critical in looking for a mate. With that said, if you already know this, there is a better way to spend money than buying this book.
The entire book is basically a compilation of various researches followed by the author's rambling about herself. Sharing one's experience is one thing, going on and on about "me, me, me" is another. The book reads like a bad attempt to stretch what can be sufficiently and more efficiently said in a paragraph into 300-something pages. Despite most earnest effort, I ended up skipping several chapters as the author continued to repeat the same content over and over, simply in different sentences.
For what matters, spelling and grammar errors are spotted frequently; section titles and subtitles rarely reflect the content.
If you must read this book, I suggest going to the book store and flipping through it before spending money on it. But I do understand everyone responds differently to one book, so if you happen to really like it, please don't let my criticism affect your decision to purchase one. :)
2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.Akil
Posted March 20, 2010
First of all, I am a man. I am 27 years old, and I saw this book reviewed in a magazine. I was initially interested in it because I once dated someone, and I think she passed over me the way the author passed over many of the good prospects she had in her younger days.
All in all, I enjoyed the book. But, I realize the me reading it isn't going to help the situation. Women need to read it, and realize that they need to be more open about who they date and who they dismiss and their reasons for the dismissal. (sorry for the run-on sentence) I am looking at the so-called "independent single ladies." You can have a man, a good man, just don't expect him to be the president or a CEO. He can be a regular guy who is loving, caring and kind, and will be a good husband to you and a good father to your children (if you want them, of course.)
I just hope some women are able to reevaluate their preferences and opt for someone good enough and happiness, instead of waiting in the wings for perfection, and running the risk of ending up 40 and alone.
Think about it.
1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.Anonymous
Posted March 13, 2010
I think the title is misleading, this book isn't about settling for someone who wont make you happy it's about self-awareness, determining what actions and thoughts have prevented you from finding the partner/relationship you want in your life. This book is aimed at women in their mid to late 30s and the book is filled with stories from women and men in that age group both single and married. The author (single mother in her early 40s) uses herself as a guinea pig and enlists the help of matchmakers, dating gurus, a rabbi and researchers to explain why its so much harder to find someone as you get older. There is so much information presented in this book from experts, the author and the people interviewed that I think it would be impossible for someone to not find a story/theory they can relate to their situation. This is the best $15 I've ever spent. The best thing about this book is that it's not an advice book, no silly ideas like- dressing sexy and going to a sports bar, just a mirror to help you see where you are going wrong.
1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.Anonymous
Posted January 15, 2012
I have been needing this reality check and this book probably just saved me from a lifetime of loneliness. If you are sick of advice from friends that lead you to be more alone- take this book to heart. I know today that i am going to marry the man of my reality!
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.Anonymous
Posted November 5, 2011
Author gives detailed information and real life experiences. Will definetely give you a sense of urgency to get paired up as soon as possible. Message here is if you wait too long you are going to get the guys no one wants. Basically crumbs someone else didn' t pick or leftovers.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.TampaGirl
Posted October 24, 2010
I'm 30+ and still single. This book made me realize how picky I've been throughout the years. It made me accept that the prince charming that I've been dreaming about since a little girl is just a fantasy and that I needed to have more realistic expectations. This new way of thinking is only fair because I am not a princess myself. Also, this book gave the word "settling" a new definition in my life. It doesn't mean that I should compromise and marry any loser. Just that I should be more open minded.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.Kerrianne
Posted May 11, 2010
Wow, I did not realize how hard it is for women to find someone decent after 35. I am only 24 but I am changing my ways now before it is too late for me. Luckily I am in a loving relationship that I have not messed up yet but this book will make me cautious before breaking up with someone perfectly good ever again
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.Tricia101
Posted April 21, 2010
I was very impressed with Lori's writing skills. She has a way of captivating you and keeping your attention. I didn't want to put the book down. I'm not sure it applied to my life, but it did make sense. I was a little offended at first; however, by the end of the book, I was definitely understanding her thoughts. I would have named it differently, I think the name might turn some people off before they even get a chance to read it. I would take the word "Settling" out of the title. I would recommend it to anyone single.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.Anonymous
Posted March 27, 2010
This book was inspiring, uplifting and hilarious all at the same time. I am sharing it with all of my friends regardless if they are married, single or dating.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.The perfect slap in the face for all of us perpetually single girls. It's not about settling for Mr. Joe Schmoe, it's about letting go of all your preconceived notions of what a happy marriage should be so you can find that Mr. Right. We follow along in Gottlieb's quest to open herself up to it all, from her reluctance to change her way of thinking to her eventual transformation and acceptance. The book to share with all your female friends.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.BookLoverNV
Posted February 12, 2010
I really liked this book. Very informative and truthful. I am in my 30's, single and enjoying it. But now I want to start dating before I hit the dreaded 40! I didn't know dating would be so difficult. I'm very glad I read it. I realized I'm one of the girls who have unrealistic expectations and write guys off for no good reason.
I liked her story and did not find it self absorbed. She is trying to make changes in her dating habits and gives you the benefit of the information she has come across.
Anonymous
Posted February 4, 2010
Single girls, you must read this book!
0 out of 2 people found this review helpful.
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Overview
The controversial national bestseller!Nearly forty and single, Lori Gottlieb faced the unthinkable: she'd wasted her best years chasing an elusive Prince Charming who might not even exist. Meanwhile, her friends who'd "settled" for Mr. Good Enough ended up married to excellent husbands and fathers.
This is an eye-opening, funny, painful, and always truthful in-depth examination of modern relationships and a wake-up call about getting real about Mr. Right.