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A guide for coping with girls who are mean to other girls, using the words of teenagers to explore how the meanness can get started, forms it may take, and what can be done to stop it.
What Makes a Girl a Snob?
You see her cruising with her gal pals in her brand new convertible, shopping at the most expensive stores, and getting away with murder at school. The slightest glace toward her in the halls can either make your day or ruin it, depending on her mood. Her hair is always perfect, her clothes just right. She dates the cutest guys and has all of the teachers wrapped around her finger. She has the best parties and the coolest friends. You've just encountered…The Snob. Dear Dr. Erika:
There's this girl in my class who thinks whenever she opens her big mouth everybody better shut up and listen. And at lunch she sits at the best table in the cafeteria, and woe! if you park there. She pitches a fit. She actually gets her way in everything. Even the teachers are scared of her and treat her different from the rest of us. Reina, 14
Dear Dr. Erika:
I dread my second period class. There's this girl who like brags about everything. When she makes a good grade, she acts like she's the smartest. When she has a birthday party, she goes like, There's never been another party like mine. When she blabs about her family, they're like sooo rich! And she cuts people and makes me feel like I'm dirt. Erica, 15
Sounds as if both Reina and Erica are dealing with a snob, sometimes called a spoiled brat, other times called a brag, or name-dropper.
A close cousin to The Snob is The Name Dropper. She's a girl who might not have been showered with gifts and doo-dads and tons of toys, but her family brought in famous folks or maybe she used to go to kindergarten with a President Kennedy relative or the child of a former neighbor of President Bush. So instead of getting the roots of her self-esteem from stuff, which Snob, Brat, and Brag did, the Name Dropper got hers from association with famous names.
So, instead of focusing on things they can do to better themselves, the Snob and her cousins focus on what they have-the latest Gucci bags, Dior dresses, or Manolo Blahnik boots, and measure what others have (or don't have) against their own possessions.
Don't be fooled by her exterior-it's very possible that stripped of her fancy clothes or her friends, The Snob has the same insecurities as everyone else. Even though she's sporting the latest Kate Spade bag or the hottest new haircut as she prances down the halls with her entourage, maybe she's worried about the fight she overheard her parents having the night before, or the history quiz third period.
If you go around judging other girls as beneath you all the time, you can't concentrate on what's most important--getting to be your personal best. Chaka, 15
If you're making yourself feel better by ignoring other girls on purpose, you obviously have not been feeling great. Annyce, 17
How true. The snob and her close cousins never seem to feel that great. Why else do they act the way they do?
Isn't it a shame that some girls feel so low they have to raise themselves up by making other girls feel low? Tierra, 18
Fact is, that no girl ever truly feels good inside when she's putting other girls down. Sure, she may get a rush of "superiority" but it's only temporary.
What you have got to do is look at yourself first and see what's wrong with you before you criticize other girls and look down on them. Flora, 15
Having trouble believing that The Snob could ever have problems? Let's take another look at Tierney.
Classes are over for the day. There's cheerleading practice and Tierney and her friends report to the gym, but in no hurry.
She's on the squad; most of her many friends are not, but Tierney knows that practice won't start until she shows up. That's just the way it has always been.
Afterward practice, the girls all pile into her beemer and grab a latte with skim milk at the Dairy Bar. Tierney drops her friends off one by one and heads home. As he pulls into her driveway, she can tell that no one's home by the absence of cars. Wow, for once she's all alone. Her girl buds will come over later, naturally, like they do every day. But for the moment the house is empty which is a weird feeling. She almost hates to go inside, but she does.
Tierney kicks the front door shut, drops her books on a table, hurries upstairs. She flops onto her bed for a moment, thinking about her day. What to do now? She strides into her walk-in closet that's crammed with the hottest clothes. Most everything has been worn only once. In one corner sits a pile of shopping bags from brand-name stores that she hasn't unpacked yet. Great: something to do.
As she hangs up the new jeans and sweaters, she runs her hand over them, hoping to feel better. For a moment she remembers how life used to be before her parents got divorced. They had time for her then. Mom wasn't gone all the time; Dad used to call her "his girl" and they would do stuff together. Now she sees him like twice a month. But hey, he just gave her another credit card, with no limit--
Tierney stops unpacking stuff and calls her best friends. "Before pizza here, why don't we all meet at the Nordstrom make-up counter?"
Tomorrow Tierney will come to school in yet another great outfit, her fiends surrounding her as they talk about what happened after they ate the pizza, giving other girls a "you don't count" stare.
Isn't the point of being popular to have friends? So why would you want to make enemies by acting like you're too good for other girls? It's senseless. Marie, 15
I felt I was not good enough for any of them. That's the way the other girls were treating me. Mandee, 15
While it's so common for girls to feel this way, try not to be fooled. The firefly is just an insect. Just know that the problem belongs to The Snob, not to you. Condemn her behavior. Not her.
Underneath, she not be so different from you-she may be a real nice girl just trying to emergeYet meanwhile you still have to suffer her actions. Or do you?
PART I: RANDOM ACTS OF UNKINDNESS
Chapter 1: The Snob
Chapter 2: The Gossip
Chapter 3: The Teaser
Chapter 4: The Bully
Chapter 5: The Snitch
Chapter 6: The Traitor
PART II: THE "IN" CROWD Chapter 7: The Dish on Peer Pressure
Chapter 8: Just One of the Girls
Chapter 9: The Clique Chick
PART III: EMPOWERMENT STRATEGIES
Chapter 10: The Power of One
Chapter 11 The Power of Several
Afterword: Girl Found
Conclusion: Power Up Your Power
Posted February 10, 2004
I am a teenager who has been reading this book and think it's perfect for girls who are going through all the drama and social problems with friends who just never seem to agree -- or act jealous, angry, and mean. This book was the best gift my parents could have given me this year. I am learning all kinds of tips from it about how to deal and act with kids when they act out and are cruel or moody. I also agree with the author on what she says about so many things and am learning about myself more. I wish every kid could read this book and that they would also teach us some of these things in school to help us get through very hard times just coping socially and knowing how we can make our friendships work out. I feel better reading this book and like I know I have many choices to be a leader and to choose good friends to be around.
7 out of 7 people found this review helpful.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted December 23, 2012
Posted December 18, 2012
Posted November 23, 2012
I like a boy in my class his name is vinny or vincenzo i think he likes me but not really sure plus he would never ask me out because our class is 2 imatuer about dating and this girl named lauren keeps spreeding rumors about relationships that dont exist so im afraid if me and vinny become a thing that everyone will make fun of us im in 6 th grade and everyone thinks girls have cooties ur something but it seems hes the only one who talks or feels diffrent about it vinny is the only mature boy in my class what should i do cause this book did not help with any thing WHAT SHOULD I DO????? :P
2 out of 3 people found this review helpful.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted June 23, 2013
Posted January 31, 2013
You are in one predicament! Not sure I know how to answer you on that, but I will do my best. This guy you like migjt b cheating on you. It is best for you to check it out, maybe do some re-search from other classmates in his class and yours. I think that would be best. If not sorry.... -pussycat
1 out of 2 people found this review helpful.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted October 4, 2014
I am in the 6th grade but when i was in third grade three girls bullied me and they spreded rummors about me and said bad things behind my back and they bullied me all year i wanted to commit suicide, Now in 6th grade this girl that bullied me in third grade she likes the same boy i like but she is being a b**** and she said if it bugs me she will break up with him and i said it bugs me she started ignoring me and i sked her why is she ignoring me and she said she is mad at me because i said it bugs me and she said that she does not want to break up with him and she is cheating on him because she is the oldest and does not get attention and she takes my bus were the boys touch u everywhere and she lets the boys touch her everywhere and she lied to him and said she was in 8th grade so not only is she a slut but a fakeWas this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted May 29, 2014
I need advice to be friendss with the popular girls so pleasr reply back to me. I will also be sending you a request so that i i rexomend u a book i will actually be able to talk to you!talk to u later!# lizzie gWas this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted February 13, 2014
Posted December 29, 2013
Posted August 15, 2013
Posted March 23, 2013
I want to talk to u alice but first whats your email adress and how old are you anyways im 11 and i have a heart that my ex that i dumped but never stopped having feelings tore and took a half when he moved across town and my new crush Osciel robbed the other half of my heart .they replaced it with a confused ,undecided, and impossible good for nothing heart. My mind and heart cant seem to agree on anything and its driving me crazy!!!!! Alice i am hoping and praying you see this and i will check this everyday to see if you replied bye -Chelsea ruizWas this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted February 12, 2013
Posted February 6, 2013
If you need Advice then just email me. Put Dear Alice at the top and leave your email. If you need advice then i will help you. For girls fourteen and below. Those are the hard years so just ask.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted January 20, 2013
Well, in order to help you, I need details. Email me at jaymiemorgan0215 @ gmail .com without the spaces sorry it won't let me post it without the spaces. Anyone else that needs advice feel free to email me to. Love y'all. Stay sweet.
0 out of 2 people found this review helpful.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted January 11, 2013
Posted January 8, 2013
Posted March 21, 2013
I have a crush on a guy who is shorter than me. Is that strange? Like a head or more shorter...im not exactly sure. He is shoort. Im not tall. Im about five foot three. He is also year younger. Im eighth grade his seventh. But he is very nice and i think he like me. Help! -MaddyWas this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted December 31, 2012
Posted February 9, 2013
1) Dont say anything about it to your parents. Make sure you just happen to mention that your parents wont let you have a dog in every conversation you have with other people. Those people will most likely bug your parents about it and they might give in.
2) pick the most discusting animal and ask your parents for it. When they say no keep asking for gross animals and then ask for the dog. They might give in but its not likely.
3) ask your parents for stuff you want. If they say no then say, "If i am not allowed to have a dog then why cant i have this?" They will feel guilty and get you whatever you want and maybe a dog.
4) work around the house and offer to help pay for it.
5) create a powerpoint and state every way it is good to have a pet.
Whatever you do dont stop asking, good luck and write back if any options worked and which ones.
0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.