Men Bleed Too: A Compelling Story About One Mans Struggle to Help His Wife Fight Breast Cancerby Thomas Brown
Ever since I first found out that Barbara had breast cancer the thought of her dying plagued me almost daily. I never told her how I felt about this because I tried to be her coach and source of strength. There were many nights especially when she was in the hospital with the infections that I cried myself to sleep. I just kept thinking that it was so unfair for her to have cancer and suffer all that humiliation and sickness that came with the chemotherapy treatments. I never really got over the fear of losing her. I was so afraid of what would happen to me. How could I ever go on with my life without her? How would I cope with the thought of never seeing her or talking with her again?
I thought a lot about death during this period. I firmly believed in the afterlife and eternal salvation. I knew that Barbara was a good Christian and that her place in heaven would be a certainty. But I wanted her here on earth with me for the rest of my life. I wanted to see her grow old and comfort me. I couldn't stand the thought of her dying before me.
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Having lost my first wife to cancer, I would highly recommend this book for anyone finding themselves a caretaker for their wife with cancer. It is not only a good primer guiding one through the morass of our health care system, it is an enlightening map as to the expectations of such a journey. It humanizes health care professionals and encourages us to not only question medical opinion but to gain ownership in the process to ensure positive medical care for your loved one. Tom's experience liberates men caretakers from thinking that their's is a unique experience, for it is shared by countless others, who prior to this book, remained silent. It also allows men to know that it's okay to make their needs known to both their family and spouse, so that such needs, rather than be surpressed, be shared and openly dealt with to ease the pain of being a caretaker. Tom Brown guides us through his heart of darkness journey and emotional roller coaster ride with his day to day thoughts, prayers, emotions, and courage in an effort to find something good in each day during his family's worst crises. It is here that the reader finds solid inspiration that allows any caretaker to move forward and make the best out of an otherwise, horrible situation. The book demonstrates how a commitment to one another, the value of a good marriage, communicating on a daily basis one's own needs, and praying can overcome any difficulty in life. Tom Brown's book elevates, 'her problem,' to 'our problem,' and focuses the power of togetherness to overcome the tragedy that cancer brings to any fmaily. It is a powerful answer to the quesion when cancer hits someone we love of, ' why me,' to the answering of that same question of, ' why not me ?' It demonstates the true power of love and selfless dedication towards someone other than one's self and gives advice at how to arrive at such courage. I would highly recommend this book to anyone who is, or who has ever been a caretaker for a wife diagonsed with cancer or, to someone you know suffering similar circumstances. In any event, it is a powerful and compelling read and a great addition to anyone's library. The book's content and message will be remembered long after the price of the book is forgotten...it is one of life's best lessons and can give us the strength to carry us through many of life's adversities.