Men Who Can't Love: How to Recognize a Commitmentphobic Man Before He Breaks Your Heart

Men Who Can't Love: How to Recognize a Commitmentphobic Man Before He Breaks Your Heart

4.6 17
by Steven Carter, Julia Sokol
     
 
The million-copy New York Times bestseller.

The classic relationship book--now in trade paperback for the first time.

Featured on Oprah and Sally Jesse Raphael, this definitive look at the dynamics of male-female communication gets to the heart of the all-too-common phenomenon: women who are ready and willing to commit, and men who

Overview

The million-copy New York Times bestseller.

The classic relationship book--now in trade paperback for the first time.

Featured on Oprah and Sally Jesse Raphael, this definitive look at the dynamics of male-female communication gets to the heart of the all-too-common phenomenon: women who are ready and willing to commit, and men who back off just as the relationship moves toward the next level. This book can help you:

Recognize early warning signs of the commitmentphobic man
Determine the extent of his fears--and his willingness to change
Analyze your own role in the situation
Avoid unnecessary stress and heartache

"The first book of its type to address the problems of courtship in today's very complex world." --West Coast Review of Books

"Helpful...well-done." --Houston Chronicle

Steven Carter and Julia Sokol are considered to be the leading authorities on the topic of commitment fear. They appear regularly on national talk shows such as Oprah and Sally Jesse Raphael. They have also appeared on The Today Show, Good Morning America, CBS This Morning, CNN, CNBC, and MSNBC. Carter and Sokol's work is featured in such magazines as Cosmopolitan, Glamour, New Woman, and Mademoiselle, and they periodically lecture and run workshops throughout the country.

Product Details

ISBN-13:
9780425174456
Publisher:
Penguin Publishing Group
Publication date:
07/01/2000
Edition description:
REISSUE
Pages:
336
Product dimensions:
5.42(w) x 8.00(h) x 0.86(d)

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Men Who Can't Love: How to Recognize a Commitmentphobic Man Before He Breaks Your Heart 4.6 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 17 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Guest More than 1 year ago
This book was wrote as if somebody was telling a story about the last 2 years of my life with a commitmentphobic man. It opened my eyes and gave me the will to walk away - forever. For 2 years I went back and forth about every 2 weeks..Literally HUNDREDS (yes, hundreds - I kept count) of breakups, promises he'd change, lost friendships, lost respect, and lost self esteem. I highly recomend this book. Thanks to the author for saving me more heartache.
Guest More than 1 year ago
This book helped me to end a totally dead end relationship with a person who exhibited all the classic commitmentphobic patterns. It was not my 'fault' and I consider picking up this book and reading it the best thing I did in the two years I was involved with this man. Get a new lease on life and go out and find somebody else-these people just waste your time. And YOU can't change them! I KNOW your life will be better after you get clear on this pattern, through understanding you will achieve great progress. You are great-you are just with the wrong person!
Guest More than 1 year ago
After reading this book, I came to the realization that my feelings of confusion were valid, in regards to a new relationship I was in. Since it was a new relationship (2 months), I was spared the emotional pain I certainly would have endured if it had continued. So, rather than 'wait it out' and 'hope for the best', I walked away, with my ego in tact. It was an insightful book, that I bought and read at exactly the right time. Thank you!
Guest More than 1 year ago
OK, I do not think this book is about blaming men or saying that all men are bad. But this book helped me. I was married for 20 years to a basically good man. Since our divorce I have dated a few guys. A friend gave me this book after I broke it off with a guy that I was nuts about, but doing exactly what is described here. He is not a bad person. But what he does to women is extremely hurtful. He led me to believe he wanted a commited relationship, pursed me with such intensity and literally, the SECOND, I gave in he started changing. I was aware of this, and hurt by it and I broke it off because I thought it was unhealthy. What confused me was that he kept coming back and I relented because I thought the 'real' man was the one in 'the beginning'. This book probably saved a year I would have wasted still hoping we could work it out, because I know he loves me. Thanks to the book, I know that love will only make this worse. It gave me awareness and allowed me to move on.
Guest More than 1 year ago
I think any book you read is at the end of the day someones opinion. In my experiance there are a lot of diffrent factors as to why relationships dont work out. what we like to forget is the part we ourself played in the actual relationship. We focus on the other person, forgetting we were in there to. Every one has choices,we just seem to forget we have them.How you grow up is your role model. Sadly some people have had better lives than others.Learn to love yourself, live comfortably in your own skin, learning that you alone determine whether you will be happy or not.If everyone looked to themselves and how they can change for the better, a honest moral inventory,there would be no room for blame.
Guest More than 1 year ago
I just wish that I had read this book before my heart was broken. A really true account of what warning signs to watch out for. This book gave me the strength to walk away from a commitment phobic man. I still refer to it occasionally when needed. A must have for ALL young women!
Guest More than 1 year ago
Notice that all the rave reviews come from women. They are all convinced that the vagaries of love, and the differences between men and women can be classified as some type of quasi mental illness ("committmentphobia") Everyone is so miserable in their relationships that there just has to be some rational explanation, and as it turns out, the explanation is MEN AREN'T WOMEN! Well, I'm glad we got that out of the way. I wonder what other brilliant psychological breakthroughs are on the way. This book provides a convenient way to project the blame for problems onto men. Politically correct maybe, but not particularly balanced or honest.
Guest More than 1 year ago
This book was given to me after my boyfriend of 4 years abruptly ended our relationship just as we were beginning to discuss marriage. I recommend this book to anyone who has been involved with this type of man. Reading this book was almost scary because it was all about my life. It truly helped me understand why we broke up and why I had to move on. This book was my perfect co-pilot because when I reached the end, I realized that not only was this man all wrong for me, he was actually doing me a favor by leaving. You will be unable to put this book down and when you reach the end, you will feel revived as if you have been on a vacation.
Guest More than 1 year ago
I wish someone had given me this book years ago!!! What a wake-up call. I was living with my boyfriend, at his invitation, and after 18 months together, he came home one day and broke things off. I was devastated. I thought this was going to be the man I was going to spend the rest of my life with. After reading this book, I realize I ignored a lot of red flags, and I spent too much time trying to make him happy, instead of working at my own happiness. I also realized that HE is the one with a problem, not me, and that I didn't do anything wrong. I had no idea that this was an epidemic among men, and thanks to this book, I will never put up with this again. My heart goes out to the women who have suffered through these guys. Be strong and don't settle for anything less than what you want and deserve in a relationship!!!
Guest More than 1 year ago
I actually found this book at a yard sale and was totally shocked to find every man I ever dated (including the one I married), in this book! I read the entire book in one night and really loved it. The book has great guidlines to follow.
Guest More than 1 year ago
A well written, true to the heart book. Reading this book helped me to realize that the same pattern was occuring over and over in my own life - from first dates that never led to second, to the married man who wouldn't leave his wife, to 2 year live in relationships that ended abruptly...I have experienced every facet of the commitment phobic male and just didn't know it. This book addresses EVERY situation and relationship level. READ IT. I did and was able to break the pattern. Now I am happily engaged and planning a wedding this year. IT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE.
Guest More than 1 year ago
This book was so incredible. It was like the authors knew my personal situation. I used to feel stupid all the time, wondering why things were not working out. Now I know not to blame myself -- and that is the most valuable information of all. I read this book in one sitting. I simply could not put it down! Now I'm learning to change the only behavior I can -- my own!
Guest More than 1 year ago
This book will help everyone. It helped me get through a very tough breakup of a very trying relastionship. I have shared my copy with several friends. Each of them thanked me profusely, and purchased copies of their own. Recently, one of the women I let borrow my book, purchased 2 copies: one for herself, the other she gave to her X. He read it, and is now in couseling. It is so well written, and it's true; you will find your life right there on the pages within. You will most likely read the whole book in one day!!! It is so informative! Knowledge is power!! Make sure you have a highlighter handy!! TRUST ME..this will be the most important book you will ever read!!!
Guest More than 1 year ago
I was unable to put the book down. It is full of valuable information. My life with my husband is very painful most of the time and now after all these years I have discovered his problem.......
Guest More than 1 year ago
After reading this book, I finally understand why a man who is given all your love will still run away. I understand that a relationship does not have to be painful and that a man afraid of commitment can not be persuaded to change. I think any woman in this situation will get the help she needs in this book, and it should be read by every woman.
Guest More than 1 year ago
If you are in a yo-yo relationship and just can't figure things out, this book will help you more than you'll ever know. Your boyfriend will jump out from these pages (his behavior and what to expect next). I highly recommend the book. Don't be the victim of another curtain call. Stay strong and know that love should not hurt. Pick up this book today!