Mending a Shattered Heart: A Guide for Partners of Sex Addicts

Overview

The media goes wild when politicians and celebrities being caught “cheating” on their spouses are exposed in public. Most of these types of stories focus on the person doing the “cheating”, not the partner who is left behind. After the media spotlight cools down, what happens to these partners? How do they make the decision to stay or go? Is there really any hope for the future of the relationship? How do they survive the shame and move forward? Mending A Shattered Heart provides real hope, promise and ...

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Overview

The media goes wild when politicians and celebrities being caught “cheating” on their spouses are exposed in public. Most of these types of stories focus on the person doing the “cheating”, not the partner who is left behind. After the media spotlight cools down, what happens to these partners? How do they make the decision to stay or go? Is there really any hope for the future of the relationship? How do they survive the shame and move forward? Mending A Shattered Heart provides real hope, promise and inspiration to readers who are struggling.

Anyone who has discovered their loved one, the one person that they are supposed to trust completely, has been cheating on them will want to read this book. Readers have an opportunity to explore whether the person they are in a relationship with is simply behaving badly or truly suffers from a disease called sex addiction. Knowing the difference and knowing what to do about it can be transformational.

Author and editor, Stefanie Carnes brings together several leading experts in the field of sex addiction and family therapy to guide the reader through an assortment of difficult questions, including, Should I stay or should I go?, How Do I Set Boundaries and Keep Myself Safe?, What Does It Mean if My Partner Has Shown an Interest in Minors? and "What should I tell the kids?" Each of these topics are tackled in individual chapters producing a comprehensive guide that offers readers expertise on how to begin the painful road of mending a shattered heart.

What is unique about Mending A Shattered Heart is that it offers such inspiration and promise for the partner of a sex addict. It shows the seriousness of sex addiction and offers hope by showing that treatment can be successful, but hard work needs to be done—by both the partner and the addict. Without partners really examining their relationship with the sex addict, they can find themselves in a spiral of devastating relationships, essentially leaving the relationship and then falling in love with the same type of person over and over again with the same disastrous results. Mending A Shattered Heart shows the reader that they do have options. Even if the partner makes the decision to leave the relationship, there are things they can do to help them in their own recovery and make sure this never happens again. If they choose to stay in the relationship, they can work toward repairing the damaged relationship along with their own recovery.

All the material in Mending A Shattered Heart is provided in a question and answer format that delves into essential information including therapeutic and practical information that the partner can use right away. This second edition of the book includes a new focus on the impact of the trauma when a partner discovers his or her partner is cheating and what to do about it.

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Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly
In his book, businessman and recovery community leader Gagliano presents a method of stopping the negative thoughts and self-destructive behaviors that might appeal to sufferers of substance abuse and poor impulse control. Gagliano, who is not a licensed therapist, uses insights (quotations rather than dialogue) from Twerski to gain a professional opinion of the methods he presents. Gagliano calls his negative voice "the warden" and shares how it impacted his adult life. He presents the idea, backed by a quote from Twerski, that these voices stem from negative messages received during childhood. Twerski's quotes are not always a perfect fit with Gagliano's own content. He illustrates his theories with traumatic childhood anecdotes, some from people identified as his clients. In addition, Gagliano repeats ideas or issues commands, such as in "Chapter Eight: ACTION!" where he assets that "people with very destructive behaviors have a more compelling need to rely on the power of the group." However, the section on how to conduct a written inventory gives readers a tangible tool to move toward recovery. The book provides a hopeful message on how parents can help their children avoid these pitfalls and how readers can include forgiveness and a spiritual power in their lives.
(c) Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved.
From the Publisher

"I'll never forget my friend's words when she uncovered her husband's sex addiction: "I felt like I was going through a shredder...backwards." Providing much-needed clarity and direction, Mending A Shattered Heart courageously meets and helps heal this addiction at the deep level it hits and hurts. Thank you Stefanie for removing the shame and giving the gift of grounded hope."
—Melody Beattie, Author of Codependent No More

"A vitally important book written by highly experienced professionals! Mending A Shattered Heart will lessen the shame, provide clarity and direction and offer hope to the partners of sex addicts."
—Claudia Black, PhD, Author of It Will Never Happen to Me

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780982650592
  • Publisher: Gentle Path Press
  • Publication date: 10/4/2011
  • Edition description: Second Edition
  • Pages: 220
  • Sales rank: 84,151
  • Product dimensions: 6.04 (w) x 8.98 (h) x 0.68 (d)

Meet the Author

Stefanie Carnes: Stefani Carnes, Ph.D., has led numerous research projects on addiction and authored many publications including her nationally renowned book, Mending a Shattered Heart: A Guide for Partners of Sex Addicts.

Dr. Carnes is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, an AAMFT clinical member and approved supervisor. She is also certified through IITAP (International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals) as a sex addiction therapist and supervisor.

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Table of Contents

Introduction By Stefanie Carnes, Ph.D., Part One: For All Partners of Sex Addicts, Chapter 1 What is Co-Sex Addiction? By Stefanie Carnes, Ph.D., Chapter 2 How Do I Handle Discovery or Disclosure of Sexual Indiscretions? By Dr. Jennifer Schneider, M.D., Chapter 3 Is This Going To Get Better? By Stefanie Carnes, Ph.D., and Cara Tripodi, M.S., Chapter 4 Should I Stay or Should I Go? By Dr. Patrick J. Carnes, Chapter 5 How Do I Set Boundaries and Keep Myself Safe? By Cara Tripodi, LCSW, CSAT, Chapter 6 What Does My Sexuality Have to Do with This? By Dr. Omar Minwalla, Chapter 7 What Can the 12 Steps Do For Me? By Mavis Humes, BFA, CSAT, Chapter 8 What Are the Best Ways to Take Care of Myself? By Sonja Rudie, M.A., LMHC, C-EMDR, C-EAGALA I, CSAT, Part Two: For Special Populations, Chapter 9 What Should I Tell the Kids? By Stefanie Carnes, Ph.D., Chapter 10 Is My Partner a Pedophile? By Dr. Barbara Levinson, Chapter 11 Sexual Addiction and Spousal Betrayal in Gay Men By Robert Weiss, LCSW, Chapter 12, Straight Guise: Is My Husband Gay? By Joe Kort, MA, MSW, Chapter 13 A Couple Talks about Long-Term Recovery By Virginia Hartman, MA, LPC, CSAT and Paul Hartman, MS, LMFT, CSAT, 12 Steps of Sex Addicts Anonymous, Resource Guide, Recommended Reading, About the Authors, Notes
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Sort by: Showing 1 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted June 25, 2008

    Fantastic Book for Partners of Sex Addicts

    This book is so needed! I just found out that my husband is a sex addict ... what a shock! Our therapist suggested I read this book. It was wonderful. I feel like I'm not alone in this and don't have to feel ashamed. Very good book if you're dealing with this issue.

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