Menopause Sucks: What to Do When Hot Flashes and Hormones Make You and Everyone Else Miserable

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Overview

Do they call menopause "the change" because...

  • You have to change shirts three times a day-after you've sweat through them?
  • You have to change addresses, just to avoid all that mail from the AARP?
  • You have to change your diet to nothing but milk and broccoli—just to get your RDA of calcium?
With hot flashes, mood swings, and night sweats (oh, my!), menopause might not be your favorite phase of life. However,...
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Menopause Sucks: What to Do When Hot Flashes and Hormones Make You and Everyone Else Miserable

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Overview

Do they call menopause "the change" because...

  • You have to change shirts three times a day-after you've sweat through them?
  • You have to change addresses, just to avoid all that mail from the AARP?
  • You have to change your diet to nothing but milk and broccoli—just to get your RDA of calcium?
With hot flashes, mood swings, and night sweats (oh, my!), menopause might not be your favorite phase of life. However, bestselling author Joanne Kimes is here to provide relief as welcome as hand-held fans and sweat-free sheets. In her signature, no-holds-barred style, Kimes dishes on:
  • Dealing with a rollercoaster of emotions
  • Anecdotes, remedies, and gentle tips to help you cope with all the physical changes you're facing
  • How to enjoy menopausal sex
Menopause brings about a whirlwind of emotional and physical transformations. Menopause Sucks gives you all the info—and belly laughs—you need to cool down during this hot change of life.
Read More Show Less

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781598695427
  • Publisher: Adams Media Corporation
  • Publication date: 7/1/2008
  • Pages: 272
  • Product dimensions: 5.40 (w) x 8.40 (h) x 1.00 (d)

Table of Contents


Introduction     xi
Welcome to Menopause!     1
Three Times the Charm     2
Hormones Are Horrific     4
No Pain, No Perimenopause     9
Not Tonight, Dear, I Really Do Have a Headache     10
Tender, Traveling Titties     13
Oh, My Achin' Stomach     14
Vexing Vaginal Dryness     17
Cramp Your Style     19
My Achy-Breaky Heart     22
Coping with Constipation     24
The Only Thing Constant Is "The Change"     29
Periods and Questions     30
A Sex Drive that's Locked in Neutral     32
Home Sweat Home     34
Sleepless in the Saddle     37
Mood Swings     40
Memory Malfunctions     42
Incredible Incontinence     44
Over 40 and Looking Fabulous!     47
A Weighty Issue     48
If Beauty Is Only Skin Deep, I'm in Deep Doo-Doo     51
I Can't See Clearly Now     56
The Triple Threat of Perimenopause     60
Why Hair There?     62
Early Menopause     65
For the Lucky Few that Walk Among Us     69
From G-String to "Gee I Wish YouWould Go Away"     71
Midlife Mamas     73
What to Do When Your Libido Goes Limp     75
Talking Sex and Talking Dirty     80
You Ain't Nothin' But a Horn Dog!     83
Toys, Tapes, and Other Temptations     85
Sex and the Single Woman     88
The Sex-Factor     90
Continuing Sex Education     93
Emotional Volleyball     95
Mood Swings Through the Ages     96
Serotonin and a Smile     99
Picking Your NOs     102
Jumping Off Your Mood Swing     104
How to Stop Your Emotions from Running Wild     109
A Write Way to Feel Better     109
Rescuing Relationships     113
How to Keep Children and Friends from Running Far, Far Away     115
How to Channel Wild Energy into Positive Results     117
How to Milk Your Emotions to Get What You Want     121
Mental Issues Are Important-If You Can Remember Them     123
A Fantastic Voyage     125
Why Your Brain Is Out to Lunch     128
Boot Camp for Your Brain     132
Boost Your Brain     137
How to Find Your Mind and Make it Work Again     137
Imaginations and Hallucinations     141
How New Shoes Can Prevent Brain Atrophy     142
Your Brain on Toxins     145
Stupid Questions that Hurt Your Brain     147
How to Tell if You're Forgetful or Headed for the Looney Bin     149
Serious Mental Issues Are No Laughing Matter     151
Healthy Living for Baby Boomer Bodies     155
Hormone Replacement Therapy: Facts and Fiction     156
Herbs and Other Natural Stuff     164
Viable Vitamins     167
Physically Fit over Forty     171
Mammograms and Other Necessary Tortures     172
A Healthy Weight Is Good for Your Body     174
Strengthen Your Bones     179
Have a Healthy Heart     182
Notes on Nutrition     184
Menopause Is Not a Disease     187
From Puberty to Powerful     189
Personal Reflections: Assess and Appreciate     191
How to Enjoy Your Transition to Peace and Wisdom     193
Accept the Fabulous Woman that You Are     195
Balancing Adult Children and Aging Parents     199
Let "The Change" Change your Life for the Better     203
How to Set Future Goals     203
Make the Second Half More User-Friendly     208
From Empty Nest to a Nest Egg     213
Dress for Your Age     218
Next Stop, Post-Menopause!     221
Burn the Birth Control Pills and Toss the Tampons     223
A Burning Yearn to Learn     225
Volunteer and Save the World     227
Love is Still Lovely in the Afternoon of Life     230
Traveling the Road Alone     234
Your Emergency Survival Bag     236
Conclusion: Celebrate the New You!     239
Resources     243
Index     253
About the Author     258
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Customer Reviews

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  • Anonymous

    Posted September 25, 2012

    A valuable resource, especially for single menopausal women!!!

    I'm 46, perimenopaual, & part of the 34% of women our age who are single not by choice, but because my ex, and most older men in general, are insensative about menopause. The most frustrating aspect of other books I've read is that, they almost always address readers as if they are already married or in LTRs. This book not only aknowledges us, but it gives us hope that although the playing field is grossly unfair now (Men have more options medically & due to their faulty biology they trample over mature women to date 20 year year olds!), things can and often do get better post-menopause, especially when it comes to sex, dating, & relationship prospects. Other books of this sort either ignore this issue or tell us to resign ourseves to the idea of being sexless and single for the rest of our lives. The advice provided here, especially regarding midlife sexuality applies both to those already in relationships & those who are in what I refer to as the "Perimenopausal Relationshnip Drought." True fact ladies: The BRAIN is the biggest sex organ we have!!! It's vitally important for single women to use this time to explore every aspect of their sexuality (Even if it is a solo endeavor!) and to figure out what is satisfying and not satisfying to us. The results may be unsatisfying in the short term, but the way I look at it, it prepares us so that once we do hit post menopause, we'll be ready, if god willing , opprotunity knocks!!!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted October 2, 2009

    easy, entertaining read

    the introduction sold me on the book.....a fantastically funny description of the first hot flash.
    book is easy to read, entertaining and also has valid information about the symptoms of menopause. i recommend it for laughs and for information.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted August 17, 2008

    A Terrific Mix of Humor & Practical Knowledge

    This is a perfect book for the woman who wants a little practical advice on menopause as well some of the more comedic side effects. Having read Elaine Ambrose's 'The Red Tease', it's not surprising that 'Menopause Sucks' can bring you to tears and laughter!

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted September 11, 2010

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted May 29, 2012

    No text was provided for this review.

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