Mom over Miami

( 2 )

Overview

What does it say about me that the thing that has finally made me "cool" among my foster son's pals is my ability to portion corn chips out of a warehouse-club monster bag, then drown said corn chips in pasteurized melted cheese product? I'll tell you what it says. It says welcome to Nacho Mama's House . . .

Soccer mom, budding journalist, dutiful doctor's wife and mother of two ? Hannah Bartlett feels she's suddenly been handed a full plate from the buffet of life. A new baby ...

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Mom over Miami

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Overview

What does it say about me that the thing that has finally made me "cool" among my foster son's pals is my ability to portion corn chips out of a warehouse-club monster bag, then drown said corn chips in pasteurized melted cheese product? I'll tell you what it says. It says welcome to Nacho Mama's House . . .

Soccer mom, budding journalist, dutiful doctor's wife and mother of two — Hannah Bartlett feels she's suddenly been handed a full plate from the buffet of life. A new baby alone could overwhelm, but add a nine-year-old foster son, meddling neighbors and Hannah's nagging self-doubt, and you've got a recipe for disaster. What else can a mom do . . . but go AWOL?

Multi-award winning author Annie Jones lives in Kentucky with her husband, two children, two dogs and way too many characters inside her head waiting for her to tell their story.

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780373785414
  • Publisher: Steeple Hill Books
  • Publication date: 7/1/2005
  • Series: Steeple Hill Series
  • Pages: 304
  • Product dimensions: 5.22 (w) x 7.98 (h) x 0.83 (d)

Read an Excerpt

Mom Over Miami


By Annie Jones

Steeple Hill

Copyright © 2005 Annie Jones
All right reserved.

ISBN: 0373785410

Subject: Hannah's online at last!

To: ItsmeSadie, WeednReap

CC: SShelnutt, Phizziedigs

Hey, sisters (and Dad and Aunt Phiz) — I finally got my computer up and running at the new house and couldn't wait to share some news and musings.

Musings first. Remember how, starting back when I was five or six, every time Aunt Phiz got ready to leave after one of her visits I used to ask her to "pack me up and fly me away"? Well, I'm way too big to fit into any suitcase now, but I have to confess, y'all, some days around here, I sure do feel that powerful pull to just up and fly away!

I won't, of course. Not diligent, dependable old Hannah.

Not the woman who spent six years at various and sundry jobs to be the sole financial support of the Make Payton Bartlett a Pediatrician Fund.

Or the girl who invested three years of her life in college, majoring in journalism when clearly she never had it in her to realize that ambition.

Not me, who has given my all to countless well-intentioned, if hardly fruitful, home-extension classes in small-town haute cuisine, low-carb cookery and cake decorating for fun and profit. The last of which left me broken and blue — literally blue — from an ill-advised attempt to do an undersea landscape in frosting and food coloring.

I'm not going anywhere.

But tell me, after all that, what does it say about me that the thing that has finally made me "cool" among my foster son's pals is my ability to portion corn chips out of a warehouse-club monster bag, then drown said chips in pasteurized melted cheese product?

I'll tell you what it says. It says welcome to Nacho Mama's house.

Should have seen it coming when I got nominated as Snack Mom for Sam's soccer team. Moral: If a woman — wearing jewelry and cologne in the middle of the day, too-cute-to-walk-the-dog-in shoes, with a hairstyle that takes more than thirty-five seconds to maintain — offers you a large glass of iced tea at a team organizational meeting…run away. It's a trap.

Snack Mom.

It had all sounded so harmless at that first team meeting when Hannah had returned to the applause of the other moms who had managed to nominate, second, vote for and unanimously elect her while she had made a mad, iced-tea-induced dash to the ladies' room. All she'd have to do was buy in bulk and show up, right?

Ah. How young and foolish she'd been three weeks ago. That was before she'd learned that in the cutthroat arena of middle-class American child rearing, not all the competition remained on the soccer field.

School. Car pools. Extracurricular activities. Even church. All were littered with potential land mines of mommy-one-upmanship. And Hannah had stepped — no, been thrown, really — into the very center of it all.

Hannah Bartlett believed that Loveland, Ohio, was the friendliest town on the face of the earth. And living there was going to be the death of her.

Okay, death might be a bit strong.

But as she stood in the barely broken-in kitchen of her darling new house on this dank late-July afternoon, while a dozen eight-year-old boys who'd been rained out of soccer practice — again — played "quietly" in her unfurnished living room, the term "suffocating" did keep popping into her mind.

She would probably survive the experience of living in the upscale-ish subdivision of this charming, convivial, quaint Ohio town. Perhaps she'd even grow stronger because of it. If she wasn't killed with kindness first.

Or smothered under the weight of her own powerlessness to tell nice people no.

Or stifled by her need to please and show everyone —
i.e., her husband, and cutie pie extraordinaire, Dr. Payton Bartlett, M.D.; her older sisters, who still treated her like an inept, gullible child; and her much-adored daddy — that she could handle anything life threw at her.

Yes, anything. Even volunteering at her small —"small on the attendance rolls, large in the eyes of the Lord," as her new minister liked to admonish — church. And even learning the ropes of foster parenting Payt's eight-year-old distant cousin while mastering first-time motherhood at the age of thirty-six. Luckily, at six months, her daughter, Tessa, impressed easily. A game of peekaboo and a lullaby and the girl was eating out of Hannah's hand…well, or thereabouts.

And Sam, Hannah's foster son…

"You don't know anything." Sam bumped shoulders with the kid sitting next to him.

"Do so." The boy leapt up to tower over Sam.

Hannah held her breath.

"Nuh-uh," Sam shot back, his expression the sole province of prepubescent boys — something between a teen-ager's I-know-everything sneer and a kindergartner's you-are-a-big-dummy-head-and-I-don't-have-to-listen-toyou face.

Sam's combatant hunched his slender shoulders, obviously working up to a scathing, witty comeback. "Uhhuh," he said.

Hannah rolled her eyes and tried not to laugh.

Sam wrinkled his nose. His lips twitched.

"Hey, uh…" Hannah hated to single Sam out by only calling for him to knock it off without at least saying something to the other boy. Kyle, Hannah thought the kid's name was…or Cody. Colby? She glanced down at the enormous can of "American cheese food product" in her hands and a faint light flickered in the very back shelf of her memory. Cheddar? Gorgonzola?



Continues...

Excerpted from Mom Over Miami by Annie Jones Copyright © 2005 by Annie Jones. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4.5
( 2 )
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Sort by: Showing all of 2 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted January 2, 2013

    SURF SHOP

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted January 29, 2009

    more from this reviewer

    Nacho Mama's House

    Hannah is doing her best to be the woman, wife and mother she was meant to be. This means taking care of the kids, being the typical soccer mom, having the team over for nachos, ordering new furniture, etc. Basically she is putting everyone ahead of her and still thinks it's not enough. She tells her adventures in emails to her sisters which end up being published as a popular newspaper column. So this means people read about Hannah's mistakes and going through life unexpectedly while she tries to make it seem like a breeze to her. But when her husband cancels out on a long planned trip on her, Hannah decides she can't take it anymore and takes the trip to Miami on her own, leaving everything behind. This is a book that soccer moms will relate to when there are times that you just want to get away from it all. Hannah is the type of person that wants to please everyone but instead finds she can't do it all. I was glad when she finally made that revelation. I enjoyed her interactions with the soccer team, she sounds like she could be a real fun mom to be around with. I was really glad that Hannah 'ran away' and took a vacation for herself. I would have too in her situation. Her husband was taking her for granted, especially with the cleaning up the office for free deal. That is not something a wife should have to do especially if she has to take care of their own household duties. So I was happy that she took the time to enjoy herself, and even though she felt guilty at first, she really deserved the alone time. While it was frustrating at first to keep seeing Hannah having to suffer while the other moms got off scot-free, it was nice to finally see a so called perfect mom reveal her secrets and not judge Hannah for not being like her. On the other hand I did not like the neighbor that prejudged Hannah and felt sorry that she had to put up with that. I also did not really like the bit about the interior decorator sisters from the church. They seemed a bit annoying. Other than that I enjoyed this book a lot, more fun than Sadie in waiting. It's a great mom lit book to read when you just want to escape your own family life.

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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