Moose: A Memoir of Fat Camp

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first Good [ No Hassle 30 Day Returns ] [ Water Damage: SLIGHT, doesn't affect use ] Publisher: William Morrow Pub Date: 5/1/2008 Binding: Hardcover Pages: 320.

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Overview

With her signature acerbic wit and captivating insight, the author of the wildly popular Straight Up and Dirty offers a powerful and beautifully stark portrait of adolescence

While she is pregnant with twins, one sentence uttered by her doctor sends Stephanie Klein reeling: "You need to gain fifty pounds." Instantly, an adolescence filled with insecurity and embarrassment comes flooding back. Though she is determined to gain the weight for the health of her babies—even if it means she'll "weigh more than a Honda"—she can only express her deep fear by telling her doctor simply, "I used to be fat."

Klein was an eighth ...

See more details below

Overview

With her signature acerbic wit and captivating insight, the author of the wildly popular Straight Up and Dirty offers a powerful and beautifully stark portrait of adolescence

While she is pregnant with twins, one sentence uttered by her doctor sends Stephanie Klein reeling: "You need to gain fifty pounds." Instantly, an adolescence filled with insecurity and embarrassment comes flooding back. Though she is determined to gain the weight for the health of her babies—even if it means she'll "weigh more than a Honda"—she can only express her deep fear by telling her doctor simply, "I used to be fat."

Klein was an eighth grader with a weight problem. It was a problem at school, where the boys called her "Moose," and it was a problem at home, where her father reminded her, "No one likes fat girls." After many frustrating sessions with a nutritionist known as the fat doctor of Roslyn Heights, Long Island, Klein's parents enrolled her for a summer at fat camp. Determined to return to school thin and popular, without her "lard arms" and "puckered ham," Stephanie embarked on a memorable journey that would shape more than just her body. It would shape her life.

In the ever-shifting terrain between fat and thin, adulthood and childhood, cellulite and starvation, Klein shares the cutting details of what it truly feels like to be an overweight child, from the stinging taunts of classmates, to the off-color remarks of her own father, to her thin mother's compulsive dissatisfaction with her own body. Calling upon her childhood diary entries, Klein reveals her deepest thoughts and feelings from that turbulent, hopefultime, baring her soul and making her heartache palpable.

Whether Klein is describing her life as a chubby adolescent camper—getting weighed on a meat scale, petting past curfew, and "chunky dunking" in the lake—or what it's like now as a fit mother, having one-sided conversations with her newborn twins about the therapy they'll one day need, this hilarious yet grippingly vulnerable book will remind you what it was like to feel like an outsider, to desperately seek the right outfit, the right slang, the best comeback, or whatever that unattainable something was that would finally make you fit in.

  • Stephanie Klein
    Stephanie Klein

Editorial Reviews

From Barnes & Noble
You'd never know it from her recent pictures, but sexy serial blogger Stephanie Klein was once an inmate of fat camp. The woman whose nine-year stint as a vegetarian ended when she spied some orphan chicken nuggets apparently transcended the chubby club experience, transforming it into a memorable sequel to her humorously candid Straight Up and Dirty. Klein, who confesses to a penchant for white pizza and grilled cheese sandwiches, reveals what really happens behind the gates of summer tubby town.
hungry-girl.com
“A candid, touching memoir . . . It’ll make you laugh—and cry.”
From The Critics
“The memoir, which mixes painful revelations with amusing anecdotes, teems with details, like the sixth-grade Spanish class in which the teacher told students to identify themselves as fat or thin.”

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780060843298
  • Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
  • Publication date: 5/27/2008
  • Pages: 320
  • Product dimensions: 6.10 (w) x 9.10 (h) x 1.10 (d)

Meet the Author

Blogger and author Stephanie Klein was born and raised in New York. She now lives in Austin, Texas, with her husband and children.

Read an Excerpt

Moose
A Memoir of Fat Camp

Chapter One

Baby fat

"you need to gain fifty pounds," Mimi said as she plotted my weight on her medical chart. Certainly, I'd heard the words "need" and "gain" cobbled together in a sentence about my weight before. Though they were usually words in my own head and were always assembled a bit differently: "You gain any more weight and you'll need to hire someone to help you find your vagina." Mimi's new arrangement of the verbs was far more distressing.

I was standing on a scale in the medical offices of the Texas Perinatal Group. It was one of many appointments with Mimi, my preventa­tive preterm labor specialist. My obstetrician had mandated these weekly visits upon learning I was pregnant with twins. Multiples tend to be in a hurry, he'd said as he scrawled Mimi's contact information on his prescription pad.

If I gained fifty pounds I'd weigh more than a Honda. And certainly more than my husband, which was worse.

"You're just not gaining enough," Mimi continued as she leafed through papers on her clipboard.

"Yeah, but I've got time," I said, shooing away her concern with my hand. "And I hear it all comes on in the last month anyway."

"Stephanie," she whispered, in an alarmingly real way that made my name sound like an object, "you're nearly six months pregnant. With twins. And you've only gained thirteen pounds."

I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to hurt my sweet babies, but I was frightened of getting any fatter. As it was, prepregnancy, I'd been twenty pounds heavier than my "happy weight"—that brilliant place where clothes shopping wasenjoyable, reunion events were eagerly anticipated, and thin white pants seemed to be my most flattering choice. Medically speaking, before there were two pink lines, I'd been just seven pounds shy of being classified as overweight. And now I was being asked to play patty-cake with the idea of smearing on some excess plump.

Please. I might have been bordering overweight, but my dimpled ass was far from dumb. Pregnancy-brain hadn't rendered me completely useless. I'd done my research, relying on my proficient medical expert (ahem, Google), so I knew if a woman began her pregnancy overweight, as I nearly had, she should restrict her calories and gain little to no weight during pregnancy.

Despite this, I was being urged to pack on the pounds, and I was downright leery.

"Oh, yeah, sure. Eat all you want," Mimi would say now, and once I was accustomed to eating donut pudding for breakfast, I was sure she'd say, "Mmm, yeah, about that. You didn't think I was serious?"

"I'm trying," I said, stepping from the scale and returning to the chair where I'd set my clothes. With her back still turned, Mimi slid open the white drawers beside the chrome sink, peeking through each one. I faced a wall of baby announcements and hiked up my shorts. Ordinarily she left the room while I changed, but I wanted to save time and get the hell out.

When I turned around, she was still foraging. I yanked a thin shred of skin from my lip and felt calmer now that I tasted blood.

"Here it is," she said of a pamphlet outlining dietary guidelines for women carrying multiples.

"You gave it to me last week," I said, taking it anyway. "And I really am trying." Mimi glared at me as if to say the thirteen pounds I'd gained wasn't all placenta, amniotic fluid, and baby weight; it was thirteen pounds of bullshit.

"Is that what you think skim milk is? That's not trying. You need the extra calories from higher-fat dairy."

I hoped to be one of those chic pregnant women who could pull off cap sleeves and pencil skirts, ruched camisoles, or a tube dress. But my arms looked like tubers, and everything I wore made me look like a Mallomar. I figured the babies would take what they needed from my body, so the only one who'd suffer would be me. And I didn't care if my health was compromised if it meant my lard arms might make it out leaner. I refused to fall into that I can gorge now mind-set just because I was pregnant. "You're eating for three now" was a myth I wasn't about to choke down with my DHA and prenatal vitamins.

"It's not like I'm starving myself. I'm full all the time." I never skipped breakfast, drank far too many protein shakes, and layered my salads with white meat, low-fat pasteurized cheeses, and chopped egg whites. I ate healthier than I ever had on any diet.

"You have to force yourself to eat more."

"But I'm not hungry," I said, stretching open the nutritional accordion she'd handed me.

"It doesn't matter if you're hungry or not." I couldn't believe someone in the medical community was instructing me to ignore my body's signals and force myself to eat, even if I was full. "Are you exercising?" she asked as she watched me scoot into my sneakers.

"No, you'll be happy to know that I'm still a lazy piece of shit."

"Well, good. That's what I want to hear. The more rest the better."

I'd read articles warning women against gaining too much during pregnancy, how overindulging would make it harder to shed the excess weight after birth. Overweight mothers were at an increased risk for developing gestational diabetes and high blood pressure. Articles with titles like "Preparing for the Marathon of Labor" emphasized the importance of keeping fit. And here was Mimi emphasizing rest. Actual lying down, feet-elevated rest, not just taking it easy.

"Mimi, you have no idea how hard this is for me." I'm fat as it is, I was about to say aloud, but I knew she'd start in about my distorted body image. She couldn't understand. Instead, almost apologetically, I lamented, "I used to be fat."

"Well, to look at you no one would ever know it."

No, I thought, I will never forget it.

Moose
A Memoir of Fat Camp
. Copyright © by Stephanie Klein. Reprinted by permission of HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved. Available now wherever books are sold.

Table of Contents


Author's Note     ix
Part 1     1
Baby Fat     3
Part 2     7
Weigh of Life     9
Sabotaje     23
Sloppy Seconds     32
Bay of Pigs     53
Your Worth in Weight     67
Blame It on the Rain     87
Shrink-wrapped     107
Mamma Mia     125
When Even "Misfit" Misfits     146
American Pie     161
Hurts So Good     177
Are You There, God? It's Me, Pound Cake     188
Caught     206
Inside Out     219
Tall Tales and Heroes     235
Part 3     255
Moose     257
To Fat and Back     271
The Hate Diet     278
Father Figurative     288
The Mother Load     295
Acknowledgments     309
Customer Reviews
Average Rating 3.5
( 19 )

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  • Anonymous

    Posted September 17, 2009

    Another "poor me story"

    Really disappointed in this book. Rather than being the inspirational story it could be, Klein's telling of her life as an overweight adolescent left me thinking "yeah, so what, we've all lived through tough times". Kids are kids, mean kids are mean kids. We all learn to deal with it in our own way. I got really irritated with Klein as she continually threw her parents under the bus on several occasions, placing blame on them for her own poor choices. Even near the end, when telling the story from an adult viewpoint, she doesn't take responsibility. Her rants left me wondering if any of her family members are even still speaking to her. My advice -- skip this one.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 17, 2008

    Not for preteens

    I have to admitt, I'm only half way through this book... I agree that it is exceptionally well written and poignant but this book is definitely written for adults. Let no parent be confused that this is a book to give to a preteen in hopes that she'll identify or learn something from the story. In my opinion it has way too many sexual references that are irrelevant to the story and amounts to soft porn for preteens. I'm hoping the last half of the book will give the adult retrospective look at her abnornal sexual feelings as a preteen. If it doesn't I'll be bitterly disappointed. And, no, I'm not a prudish octegenarian... I'm a young mother of 2 daughters and I would be horrified if my daughters read this book.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 4, 2008

    Disgusting

    I saw this book reviewed in People and thought it would be a great read. I was sorely disappointed. I didn't even get to half of it before being disgusted. I felt this book was really about the author masturbating, talking about sex, and the occasion eating session. This book is not about being an overweight child, it is about sexual thoughts along with being overweight. I would not finish reading, nor would I touch it again. I would not advise anyone to read it - especially anyone under the age of 18. Disgusting. I only gave it one star because I had to - it doesn't even deserve a star!

    1 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 25, 2008

    It's ok - not for teens though

    I have finished this book, and while I thought it was a good read, I think it's going to be re-sold to a used book seller. The book was humanizing, and put a human face to a teenage girl that had weight problems and was called names. I went through that myself as a kid, and while I wasn't called Moose, I was called other horrible names which I do not wish to bring up. However, there was an awful lot of x-rated material mentioned in this book. I dont think it was realy necessary, but hey - that stuff sells right?

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted October 26, 2010

    Weight-y Read

    Being an adolescent girl is hard, being a fat adolescent girl is even harder. There are few things in life as embarassing as being the fat kid. Everyone sees the class pictures, the lonely lunches and the sweat stained t-shirts in gym class. However, though as zoftig as she may be at home, she's one of the hot girls at fat camp, dozens of pounds lighter than most of the other campers.
    But all is not well at fat camp. There are social and sexual fumblings, as well as firsthand, backstabbing and breakups, as well as a triumphant weight loss and rumor-laden return home. Fat camp and Klein's 'big' childhood are put into perspective as Klein, a now pregnant-with-twins-woman, is told by her doctor that she has to gain weight.
    Klein takes readers into the trenches of the weight battle with Moose: A Memoir of Fat Camp. Readers that have sometimes been fat and those who are always fat will find a champion in Klein, or at least those who want to get thinner.

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  • Posted January 5, 2010

    more from this reviewer

    I Also Recommend:

    Great, Easy Read!

    Great book! Of course, it helps if you are able to relate to the struggles of being overweight. I found this book very light and easy to read. I enjoyed the author's style of writing and overall just really enjoyed reading it. If you grew up overweight, most likely you will identify with the same struggles as the author.

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  • Posted October 20, 2009

    Great

    I thoroughly enjoyed this book. Stephanie Klein fills her text with the understanding of how teens and kids can really be. I related to every word written and her clever and classic humor really does add a little extra to her view and outspoken opinions. Klein's witty, yet still intelligent metaphors make you sure of her fun, horrible, painful, and even heartbreaking experiences. Her personality shows through the text and it makes you feel like you're having a conversation with a real person, as if her talent in writing comes totally natural.

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  • Posted September 9, 2009

    A Great READ

    I thoroughly enjoyed this book! Highly recommend!

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  • Posted August 26, 2009

    more from this reviewer

    That's my name, too!

    That is my immediate reaction to the title of this book. I can identify with the picture on the cover! I wanted to find out what this girl thought and did and felt. Her experience in life, with a mother who thought she had a weight problem and insisted she do something about it, and her summer sojourns at fat camp are certainly not mine, but what an interesting story she has to tell. Camp is camp, Kids are kids, and weight issues are weight issues. So the book is a slice of life in those settings, but with a slant. Enjoyable, but not something I would give to an adolescent or a prepubescent girl. Funny in parts, touching in parts but a bitingly fresh look at fat girls, fat camps and that age that we never want to go back to.

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  • Posted August 16, 2009

    Excellent.

    One of the best books I've read in a long time.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 1, 2009

    Some body issues never leave.

    The book was touching sensitive issues of growing up (and out). Some how body awareness becomes more mental than physical.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 22, 2008

    Humanizing

    I related to so much of the humiliation that Stephanie describes - being teased, getting back-stabbed (or black-mailed) by who you thought were your friends and the shock and confusion that goes along with it. If only everyone was so real in their writing (or in life) we'd all feel less alone. I also related to the time-line based on the music and trends that she writes about. I LOVED THAT! It made me think of things that I hadn't thought about in forever. I think it is brave how openly she writes about her relationship with her parents. Not to mention many other things. It's a must read.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 28, 2008

    Move over, here comes Moooose!

    a funny, painful yet compusively readable book about the author's summer spent at fat camp. i could very much identify with stephanie's portrayal of a teen dealing with weight issues, and thought she did a great job at conveying the pathos of her situation with humor and honesty. i could feel her embarrassment and shame and confusion and finally, her joy when she finally lost her 'rolls.' i also appreciated her confusion about her parents, and how they treated her b/c of her obesity, part. as it related to her mom's self image and her father's love (or feeling a lack thereof). and i thought it was very true to life that her struggles didn't end when she lost the weight. it was as if that was just the first step in a long line of struggles to find herself.

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    Posted November 1, 2008

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    Posted February 7, 2011

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    Posted December 3, 2009

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    Posted January 27, 2010

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    Posted December 17, 2010

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    Posted April 1, 2011

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    Posted January 9, 2012

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