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Mourning Losses

Mourning Losses

5.0 1
by Rhonda Findling
It's 1975 and Sharon, a na�ve 26 years old woman from the Midwest comes to New York to study art and repair her shattered relationship with her father. She meets David Kaplan, a rakishly handsome, savvy, seductive New York corporate lawyer. Their passionate love affair results in Sharon's sexual and emotional awakening. David gets arrested for inside trading


It's 1975 and Sharon, a na�ve 26 years old woman from the Midwest comes to New York to study art and repair her shattered relationship with her father. She meets David Kaplan, a rakishly handsome, savvy, seductive New York corporate lawyer. Their passionate love affair results in Sharon's sexual and emotional awakening. David gets arrested for inside trading information. Humiliated about going to prison he disappears from Sharon's life. Crushed by David's rejection, Sharon loses herself to dancing, drugs, and sexual experimentation in New York City's 1970's disco scene. It's with her psychotherapist that she is able to connect her father's abandoning her when she was 13, to her overwhelming grief for David and downward spiral into drugs and sexual acting out. It's David's eventual return that tests Sharon's new found strength and emotional growth.

Product Details

Xlibris Corporation
Publication date:
Balcony Series
Product dimensions:
5.50(w) x 8.64(h) x 0.51(d)

Read an Excerpt

There was a large crowd of people standing in front of the nightclub when they arrived. A doorman was standing at the front entrance deciding whom he would let into the club. David took Sharon's hand and led her through the crowd. When the doorman recognized David, he waved his hand for them to go in.

David helped Sharon take off her coat then checked it in at the coatroom. He led her though the lobby doors to a huge multilevel dance floor. Sharon got goose bumps at the sight of hundreds of colorful, glamorous looking people dancing under flashing multi colored strobe lights in a haze of cloudy smoke to Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes singing "The Love I Lost".

"So what do you think?" David asked.

"It's fantastic. I've never seen a place like this before."

"There's no other nightclub like Studio 54 in the whole world. Look there's Cher," he said pointing her out on the dance floor.

"Oh my God. Cher! I can't believe it. Wait till I tell Nina!"

"Celebrities come here all the time. Would you like a drink?"


"I'll be right back."

While David was at the bar Sharon continued to watch the crowded dance floor enraptured, as the beat of the soulful disco music pulsated through her. She watched Cher dance and looked for other stars. Everything here was magical, as if she were in another world. It was all so different from her life she left behind only two months ago.

David handed her an icy glass. "I got you a white wine spritzer. I remembered you were drinking that last night."

"Thanks," Sharon said, taking a large sip. She hoped the wine would help her relax. "Do you come here a lot?"

"Once in a while. How was class tonight?" he asked, lighting a cigarette.

"Okay." Sharon decided to quickly change the subject. She didn't want David to know she could barely concentrate in class because she was obsessing about their date tonight. "How was work today?"

"Actually it was pretty awful. One of the corporations we're representing is a takeover target. We've been meeting with the Board of Directors nonstop for the past two days. A few of us may have to fly out to LA to meet with the takeover company's in-house attorneys." David flicked the ashes from his cigarette into a glass ashtray. "Enough about me. When did you decide to become an artist?"

"I've been drawing and painting ever since I was a kid. When did you decide to become a lawyer?"

"In college. I wanted to be a professional and make a lot of money. My parents wanted me to be a doctor or lawyer, and cutting up cadavers didn't seem like an option for me. Law seemed to be more up my alley. I regret that I don't have a creative outlet though. I admire that about you. After I make enough money, I'm going to retire and write that novel I told you about."

"Hey Kaplan," a wiry looking, short man, with intense brown eyes, came over and shook David's hand. "Long time no see."

"Hi Steve. I want you to meet Sharon. Sharon this is Steve Rubell. He's one of the club owners."

"Hi Sharon," Steve said, shaking her hand. "Nice meeting you."

"Hi," she responded.

"I've got some people I've got to talk to now, but let's get together soon. I wanted to run something by you. A legal problem."

"Give me a buzz at the office tomorrow."

"You got it." Steve responded, then walked off disappearing into the crowd.

"Want to dance?" David asked.


Exhilarated, Sharon felt herself melt into the music as she spun round and round dancing free style. David was making a decent attempt at keeping up with her. "Lady Marmelade" came on and everyone started shouting out the words to the song. Sharon could feel herself losing herself to the music and the whole party atmosphere. After the end of "Knock On Wood", David led Sharon back to the bar and ordered more drinks.

"You're a great dancer," he said, handing Sharon another white wine spritzer. "Thanks," she responded, taking a large sip. "So what law school did you go to?"


"I heard law school is very hard. My brother in law Ned told my sister that he almost flunked out the first year."

David laughed, "I came pretty close to that myself." He told her about one of his professors who was particularly hard on the students in his tort class. "So what made you decide to move to New York?"

Because David was a good listener, and she had a buzz from drinking on an empty stomach, she poured out the entire story about her mother's hiding her father's birthday cards.

"You'll find him Sharon," David reassured her. Just then, the music got much louder making it almost impossible to hear him.

"Would you like to go back to my place? Its quiet there and we can talk?" he asked, his voice raised. "I'll open a bottle of champagne."

Sharon froze. She had never been alone in a man's apartment before. David wasn't just any man though. He was her dream man. She couldn't afford to mess things up again. She needed to be strong and let go of her past, once and for all.

They walked to David's car parked three blocks away. Within a few minutes, they pulled into a garage in a high-rise building. They took an elevator to the 28th floor. David opened the door to his apartment and turned on the lights.

Sharon was instantly impressed with the suave looking apartment. The living room was furnished with a large, slick, dark, leather looking couch, several matching plush chairs, and a glass coffee table. An entire wall was covered with shelves filled with books. The other wall was taken up with an elaborate looking stereo system, and the largest TV screen she had ever seen. There was a large, black lacquered bar on the other side of the room that stood in front of a spiral staircase. The room was lit by track lighting in the ceilings. She could see sliding glass doors leading to a terrace.

"Make yourself comfortable." David said, taking Sharon's coat. "Would you like some champagne?" he asked


David came back with a bottle of champagne and two thin, crystal glasses. Sitting down next to her on the couch, he poured the drinks. "La Chaim," he said raising his glass to Sharon's.

"What does La Chaim mean?"

"To life. You're such a shiksa," he smiled as if amused.

"What's a shiksa?"

"A girl who isn't Jewish."

"Oh. Is that bad?"

"Well, my parents wouldn't be too happy if I married a shiksa," he answered teasingly.

Sharon wondered if that meant that there was no chance of his getting involved with her because she was a shiksa? "Are you religious?"

"Well, I went to a Yeshiva when I was a kid."

"What's a Yeshiva?"

"A religious school for Jewish children. Sounds like you don't have a lot of experience with Jewish men," David smiled, then finished his glass of champagne.

"Not really," Sharon smiled back demurely.

"What religion are you?"

"Protestant. But I haven't been to church in years. This is such a beautiful apartment," she said, looking around the room. "It looks like its right out of decorating magazine."

"Thanks. What's your place like?"

"Not as elegant," she giggled. "Much more simple. I think I'm getting a little tipsy from the champagne. I usually don't drink so much."

The phone let out a shrill ring.

Ignoring the phone David took a little vial filled with white powder from his jacket. "Try some of this." He poured the white powder on the glass coffee table. "It'll help you relax."

"Is that coke?" Sharon asked.

"Yes," he answered, making thin white lines with the razor.

"I've never seen coke before. I mean in real life. I've seen it in the movies."

"Well this is the real thing."

The ringing started again.

"Someone's trying to get me on the phone. It may be important. Excuse me for a minute."

David went into another room leaving the coke on the glass table. Sharon heard him talking, but couldn't make out what he was saying. Looking around the apartment she could see the skyline through the sliding glass door. Sliding open the door, she walked out onto the terrace.

The view of all the illuminated buildings, blazing like jewels across the pitch black sky was spectacular. Looking down over the railing Sharon studied the tiny specks of people. Closing her eyes she listened to the sounds of the city and thought about how thrilling it was to be in New York City on this beautiful night with this magnificent man. The amazing nightclub with so many glamorous people. She never dreamt she could ever be so happy. She was so glad now that she had the strength to finally leave home.

A breeze, probably the kind from being so high up near the sky, ran across her body and underneath her dress, causing her to shiver.

"Trying to run away?" David asked, startling Sharon.

"I just wanted to see the view."

"Beautiful isn't it?"

"It's breathtaking."

"Sorry about the phone call."

Sharon continued to examine the skyline. "Have you lived here long?"

"A few years."

"You must love it up here."

"It's a great place, but it gets lonely sometimes."

Sharon turned around and looked at him, trying to imagine him ever feeling lonely.

"You're very beautiful Sharon," David said, gazing deeply into her eyes. "And very sweet." He ran his fingers through her hair. "You're warm and sensitive. I like that in a woman. It's very feminine."

Sharon couldn't believe he was saying these things to her.

"Look, there's a falling star," he said, looking up.

Sharon saw a light flash across the starlit sky.

"Are you going to make a wish?" he asked.

"Yes." She closed her eyes and wished that David would fall in love with her, and they would be together forever. All of a sudden, Sharon felt David standing behind her, kissing the nape of her neck. She felt faint, as if she barely able to stand up. He spun her around and kissed her. She kissed him back with a hunger, knowing for the first time how to kiss deeply. He scooped her up and carried her up the spiral stairway to his bedroom, just like in the movies.

It was completely dark, except for an entire wall of windows where the city lights were streaming in. He placed her on the bed and lay down next to her. Kissing her again, he gently caressed her neck, stomach, then her breasts. She felt a yearning between her legs, something she'd never felt before. The sensation froze her in alarm. Her body stiffened.

"David there's something I have to tell you."

"What is it?" he asked, his voice husky and distracted.

"It's hard for me to talk about it."

"Then don't."

"I've never made love before."

"Sure you haven't," he smiled as he pulled her on top of him.

He kissed her again. His tongue explored her mouth, erupting a hidden passion in her yearning for release. She felt so wonderful lying on top of him. Her hips moving in a rhythm of their own that she didn't understand. Looking at her with a vulnerable expression he removed her dress.

"David . . ."

"Relax baby."


"What's the matter?"

"I just can't."

"Why not?"

"I wasn't kidding, I've never been with a man before."

"You're really serious?"

"Yes," she said, squirming away from him.

He was silent for a moment then spoke. "Look, it's okay. This is really special for me. I'll be the very first man who ever made love to you."

"But I'm not experienced like other women you've been with."

"Don't compare yourself to other women. I'm here with you because I want to be."

Too humiliated to even look at David, she buried her head in a pillow.

"I think you're very sexy. I see a great deal of passion in you. I want to bring that passion out."

He said she was sexy! He was so glamorous, and he knew all those beautiful women, and he said she was sexy!

"Did you ever have a boyfriend?"

"No, not really."

"You're pretty and talented, how come?"

"I don't know, Men always make me so nervous, and something once happened to me."

"Tell me."

Sharon told him about what happened with Jerry when she was fifteen.

"That's horrible. Men can be such jerks, especially when they're teenagers. How do you feel with me?"

"Happy. I don't want to run away like I did the other night."

"I'm glad because I don't want you to run away either."

"You make me feel so special."

"You are special."

"You see what I mean?" Sharon smiled, knowing now that she loved him.

"At least I got you to smile."

"You're so handsome David. I saw the way those women at the party looked at you. Why do you want to be with me?" she blurted out, feeling too vulnerable to hold anything back now.

"You're more real than any of them. I told you. You're sensitive and sweet."

Unable to bear the intimacy of his intense eye contact she looked away.

"And you don't have enough confidence in yourself. We're going to work on that." He got up and started to walk out of the bedroom.

"Where are you going?" Sharon asked.

"To get some more champagne. I think we should just talk tonight."

"But I don't want to just talk. I liked what we were doing."

"I think we should wait."

"I feel different now that we've talked about everything," Sharon said, getting up and walking over to David. "I'm not scared anymore."

He pushed her hair back and gazed into her eyes.

Sharon felt hypnotized when he stared at her like that. Smiling mischievously, she put her arms around his neck, moving her body against his, instinctively knowing how to arouse him. Some new part of her was awakening. "I want you to make love to me David."

"You're my little seductress aren't you, baby?" he said gruffly, then led her back to his bed. He kissed her deeply then placed her on his side.

Sharon passively let David slip her dress off. Then her bra and panties.

His eyes roamed over her body. "You're so beautiful."

Thrilled by David's admiration, she luxuriously stretched out her naked body in the moonlight beaming through the window.

He took off his tie, then unbuttoned his shirt.

Sharon watched intently as David undressed. His body was as handsome as his face. Muscular, not an ounce of extra flesh. He had black hair on his chest and stomach, She watched as he took off his pants, his penis exposed and erect. He lay down next to her. Curiously she touched his chest. She was surprised that he felt so silky, always imagining men's skin to be rough.

David took her in his arms, massaging her back as he held her. He kissed her neck, her breast, her stomach. His hand was between her legs now. Sharon gasped at his touch, opening her up for the first time. His mouth traveled languorously across her body, exploring every crevice. Sharon could barely breathe, lost in another world. All she could feel was the reaction of her body to David's hand and mouth.

She opened her eyes and saw him staring down at her. Tense, vulnerable. He didn't say anything. She watched as his eyes consumed the sight of her.

She couldn't believe her body could make him look at her like that. He gazed deeply into her eyes, smiling mischievously as if he'd discovered something wonderful and marvelous. She ran her fingers through his perfectly styled hair, loving it's silkiness. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him down as she kissed him. He parted her legs with his body then slowly entered her. Although it felt painful and strange, she enjoyed feeling the closeness and connection with him.

He began to move faster and deeper inside of her. Just when it was starting to hurt again David groaned and slowly stopped moving. He looked at her. "How did it feel?"


"It'll get better. You'll see," he said, massaging her back while she lie on top of him.

While her head rested on his chest, an unfamiliar sense of contentment came over Sharon. As if all the events of her life took place so that this wondrous night would come to pass.

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Mourning Losses 5 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 1 reviews.
Guest More than 1 year ago
This was a fast and furious read! I loved it and couldn't put it down. Ms. Findling's descriptions are completely compelling and pull you into the world of her characters. The characters' motivations feel incredibly real. This book really spoke to me, and I can't imagine a woman out there who won't relate to the tale of first love, an ambivalent man, a strong woman who in trying to control her relationship (or rather, get control over her relationship) becomes weaker, and that woman's ultimate triumph over her own demons....Enjoy!