Mr Darcy's Guide to Courtship: The Secrets of Seduction from Jane Austen's Most Eligible Bachelor

Mr Darcy's Guide to Courtship: The Secrets of Seduction from Jane Austen's Most Eligible Bachelor

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by Emily Brand
     
 

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'Mr Darcy's Guide to Courtship' is no ordinary Regency courtship manual, composed as it is by a Fitzwilliam Darcy as yet unmellowed by contact with Elizabeth Bennet. Full of entirely justified pride and meticulously cultivated prejudice, Jane Austen's most famous (and most fancied) hero here reveals the secrets of his success with the opposite sex, offering hints to

Overview

'Mr Darcy's Guide to Courtship' is no ordinary Regency courtship manual, composed as it is by a Fitzwilliam Darcy as yet unmellowed by contact with Elizabeth Bennet. Full of entirely justified pride and meticulously cultivated prejudice, Jane Austen's most famous (and most fancied) hero here reveals the secrets of his success with the opposite sex, offering hints to both ladies and gentlemen on the rules of courtship, including making oneself agreeable, identifying an appropriate partner and how to escape the unwanted attentions of rogues and fortune-hunters. *Also includes: beauty tips from Caroline Bingley, thoughts on the improper courtship techniques of Messrs Wickham and Mr Collins, reflections on spinsterhood by Miss Emma Woodhouse, and Darcy's advice to his many illustrious correspondents including Lord Byron, the Duke of Wellington and Mr Willoughby of Combe Magna.*

Product Details

ISBN-13:
9781908402837
Publisher:
Bloomsbury USA
Publication date:
07/10/2013
Sold by:
Barnes & Noble
Format:
NOOK Book
Pages:
224
Sales rank:
904,068
File size:
6 MB

Read an Excerpt

Some believe that where the yearnings of the heart are concerned, we all have a better guide in ourselves, if we would attend to it, than any other person can be. This is utter nonsense. In truth, you can have no better guide than this book, and I congratulate you for advancing your cause so unreservedly by your purchase of it.
 
Couples unable to boast any portion of sense between them are permitted to increase their felicity through marriage, but it is in the national interest that they refrain from breeding.
 
 
At every public appearance, all aspects of your person – your posture, the stateliness of your brow and the sweetness of your odour – will be laid under scrutiny. On occasion, one may even be subjected to positively lurid examinations of the cut of one’s breeches, and the shapeliness of one’s calves.
 
Whatever your rank or sex, I implore you to study this book well before disgusting any noble personage with the dubious pleasure of your acquaintance.
 
Immoderate laughter, wild gesticulation or running about the place is exceedingly unbecoming in a female and may be taken as a token of a disturbed mind.
 
It is a peculiarity of the sex that most females expect – with no small degree of solemnity, I assure you – that we should be able to read their minds.
 
While it is usually a promising sign if passing ladies routinely fall into swoons, it is advisable to verify that they do so because their senses have been overwhelmed by your remarkable allure, and not the potency of your body odour.

On falling in love with an inferior female –
Console yourself with the knowledge that the average life expectancy of peasant girls is little above five and twenty, and therefore your torment will not last long.

On rejection –
It is not good form to languish around in such violent paroxysms of self-pity that you live only to be an instrument of annoyance to the rest of the world. 
 
On engagement –
Once you are engaged, a lady’s thoughts will be occupied wholly with the nuptials, of parties at which you may broadcast your attachment, and methods by which she may vex other females with her own success.

Meet the Author

Mr Fitzwilliam Darcy

Emily Brand

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Mr Darcy's Guide to Courtship: The Secrets of Seduction from Jane Austen's Most Eligible Bachelor 4 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 2 reviews.
Paperback_Wonderland More than 1 year ago
Scandalous! And extremely amusing. It almost makes me wish Austen had delved more into Darcy's personality and that he'd been more like this. Make no mistake, he's an appalling individual, as Caroline Bingley would have said, "Sir, you are shocking!" And indeed, Mr Darcy makes no effort to hide his disdain for his inferiors (basically everyone who is not is sister), and all his ideas as to how to deal with the fairer sex (and his opinions on the fairer sex) are as deplorable as they are funny. Not to say that some of the advice isn't sound... "As the early season of courtship is crucial in determining the potential success of a match, time should not be wasted in sighing, fainting away, refusing food or breaking into song." "Though [love] manifests itself in heavy sighs and the composition of nauseating poetry rather than putrid boils and sweating fevers, I daresay the effect is no less offensive for observers." Mr Darcy's opinions on the female gender even arouse the anger of one Miss Emma Woodhouse, who writes to him (and whose letter is included). And one can see how is earlier courtship of Elizabeth was doomed to fail: "While giving gifts ensures success with a particular type of female – just as a dog will favour any man who gives it treats (...) Entirely Appropriate Presents: · Hints towards improving herself · Time in your presence" On the whole it was incredibly entertaining - and historically accurate, apart from some of Mr Darcy's more scandalous subjects (obviously inappropriate for fine society). And in the vast universe of Austen tie-ins and published fanfiction this was a decidedly excellent addition.
arbjamesAJ More than 1 year ago
Obviously written from the perspective of a pre-Elizabeth Bennett Mr. Darcy, this volume instructs gentlemen, and, to a lesser extent, ladies on appropriate courtship behavior.  It was absolutely brilliant and hilarious from start to finish!  It was completely in keeping with Mr. Darcy's character.  I would love to see a sequel written from Mr. Darcy's perspective after having achieved his own matrimony.  The sections containing "contributions" from other Austen characters, as well as the "Ask Darcy" section at the end were very clever and amusing.  All in all, this was an amusing, short read for any Austen or Regency fan.