Mrs. Yonkers Is Bonkers! (My Weird School Series #18)

Mrs. Yonkers Is Bonkers! (My Weird School Series #18)

4.3 38
by Dan Gutman, Jim Paillot
     
 

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Something weird is going on!

Mrs. Yonkers, the computer teacher, is the nerdiest teacher in the history of the world. She can type with her feet! She buys foam cheeseheads off eBay! She even puts a Webcam on a turtle! Is she trying to take over the planet?

Overview

Something weird is going on!

Mrs. Yonkers, the computer teacher, is the nerdiest teacher in the history of the world. She can type with her feet! She buys foam cheeseheads off eBay! She even puts a Webcam on a turtle! Is she trying to take over the planet?

Product Details

ISBN-13:
9780061234767
Publisher:
HarperCollins Publishers
Publication date:
06/26/2007
Series:
My Weird School Series , #18
Edition description:
Library Bound Edition
Pages:
112
Product dimensions:
5.50(w) x 8.25(h) x 0.56(d)
Age Range:
6 - 10 Years

Read an Excerpt

My Weird School #18: Mrs. Yonkers Is Bonkers!

Chapter One

A Computer in My Head

My name is A.J. and I hate school.

Do you know what would be cool? Instead of learning stuff in school, we should have computers built into our heads. There could be software for math, social studies, reading, and all that other stuff teachers say we need to know. You could just plug whatever software you need right into your head. Then we wouldn't have to go to school anymore!*

Think about it. If we had computers in our heads, we could spend more time doing stuff we want to do, like playing sports and video games and going to the movies and eating junk food. That would be cool. I would buy one of those computers in a minute. But I guess until somebody invents a computer you plug into your head, we'll just have to keep going to school. Bummer in the summer!

We had just finished circle time in Miss Daisy's class when Mr. Klutz came into the room. He's the principal of Ella Mentry School, and he has no hair at all. I mean none. Hats must slide off his head because there's nothing to hold them on.

"To what do we owe the pleasure of your visit, Mr. Klutz?" asked Miss Daisy. (That's grown-up talk for "What are you doing here?")

"I wanted to try out a new joke," Mr. Klutz said.

Oh no! Mr. Klutz tells the worst jokes in the history of the world.**

"Where's the best place to keep a remote control?" he asked.

"Where?" we all shouted.

"In a remote location!" he said. "Get it? Remote? Location?"

Mr. Klutz bent over laughing and slapped his knee eventhough his joke was totally lame. We all laughed anyway. You should always laugh at the principal's jokes, no matter how lame they are. That's the first rule of being a kid.

"But seriously," Mr. Klutz said, putting on his serious face so we knew it was time to get serious, "I need to talk to you about something. Dr. Carbles, the president of the Board of Education, wants us to bring Ella Mentry School into the 21st century."

"Cool!" I shouted. "We're gonna travel through time!"***

"This is the 21st century, Arlo," said Andrea Young, this annoying girl with curly brown hair. She calls me by my real name because she knows I hate it.

"I knew that," I said, even though I really didn't. Only a smarty-pants-know-it-all like Andrea would know what number century it is. What is her problem? Who counts centuries?

"How are we going to bring our school into the 21st century, Mr. Klutz?" asked Andrea's crybaby friend Emily, who is allergic to ferrets.

"We're going to spiff up the place," he replied. "We're getting some new equipment, a security guard, a computer lab, and a computer teacher, too. In fact, she's right outside. Would you like to meet Mrs. Yonkers?"

"Yeah!" said all the girls.

"No!" said all the boys.

Mr. Klutz went into the hallway and came back with some lady. You'll never believe in a million hundred years what she had on her head.

I'm not gonna tell you.

Okay, okay, I'll tell you. But you have to read the next chapter. So nah-nah-nah boo-boo on you.

My Weird School #18: Mrs. Yonkers Is Bonkers!. Copyright © by Dan Gutman. Reprinted by permission of HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved. Available now wherever books are sold.

Meet the Author

Dan Gutman is the author of many books for children, including the My Weird School series, the Flashback Four series, and the  New York Times bestselling Genius Files series. Dan has received nineteen state book awards and ninety-two nominations. Dan lives in New York with his wife, Nina. You can visit him online at  www.dangutman.com.

Jim Paillot lives in Arizona (another weird place) with his weird wife and two weird children. Isn't that weird?

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Mrs. Yonkers Is Bonkers! (My Weird School Series #18) 4.3 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 38 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This is the funniest most amazing book in the whole intire world
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Best book ever
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This book is the bomb i tell you!!!!!!!!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I love it
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
OMG I CAN'T BELIVE I AM STILL READING THISVBOOK AND I AM 18 YEARS OLD AND THIS BOOK IS ONLY FOR 18& OLDER!!!!
Anonymous 11 months ago
I think instead of inventing a new websit you should build an online school that teaches about video games. I mean come on you hate school, and Andrea also love video games. So A.j how do you like the deal?
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I can't belevie AJ thinks that creating his own website, creating computer art and music ( OK, that one is a little boring.) And playing virtal reality games is boring!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Cooand awesome book read this book otherwise something bad will happen to you ha ha.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I agree with the post that he says girls are wierd, because I am a girl. Funny book, the whole family enjoys it!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
The cheese heads make me hungery,like REALLY make me hungery!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This book is funny but A,J is always saying that girls are weird ,but they are not ,Girls aren't suppost to act like they are in a books,so they don't trust me i'm a girl
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This book is mean to some people such as smart people because a.j is always mean to a girl named Andrea just because she is smart. And its acting like girls are stupid. They are not. (I'm a boy) and they are always think that anything that doesn't include shooting is boring.
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Great book for kids well written
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