Mrs. Yonkers Is Bonkers! (My Weird School Series #18) [NOOK Book]

Overview

Something weird is going on!

Mrs. Yonkers, the computer teacher, is the nerdiest teacher in the history of the world. She can type with her feet! She buys foam cheeseheads off eBay! She even puts a Webcam on a turtle! Is she trying to take over the planet?

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Mrs. Yonkers Is Bonkers! (My Weird School Series #18)

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Overview

Something weird is going on!

Mrs. Yonkers, the computer teacher, is the nerdiest teacher in the history of the world. She can type with her feet! She buys foam cheeseheads off eBay! She even puts a Webcam on a turtle! Is she trying to take over the planet?

Read More Show Less

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780061973383
  • Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
  • Publication date: 10/6/2009
  • Series: My Weird School Series , #18
  • Sold by: HARPERCOLLINS
  • Format: eBook
  • Pages: 112
  • Sales rank: 101,174
  • Age range: 7 - 10 Years
  • File size: 2 MB

Read an Excerpt

My Weird School #18: Mrs. Yonkers Is Bonkers!

Chapter One

A Computer in My Head

My name is A.J. and I hate school.

Do you know what would be cool? Instead of learning stuff in school, we should have computers built into our heads. There could be software for math, social studies, reading, and all that other stuff teachers say we need to know. You could just plug whatever software you need right into your head. Then we wouldn't have to go to school anymore!*

Think about it. If we had computers in our heads, we could spend more time doing stuff we want to do, like playing sports and video games and going to the movies and eating junk food. That would be cool. I would buy one of those computers in a minute. But I guess until somebody invents a computer you plug into your head, we'll just have to keep going to school. Bummer in the summer!

We had just finished circle time in Miss Daisy's class when Mr. Klutz came into the room. He's the principal of Ella Mentry School, and he has no hair at all. I mean none. Hats must slide off his head because there's nothing to hold them on.

"To what do we owe the pleasure of your visit, Mr. Klutz?" asked Miss Daisy. (That's grown-up talk for "What are you doing here?")

"I wanted to try out a new joke," Mr. Klutz said.

Oh no! Mr. Klutz tells the worst jokes in the history of the world.**

"Where's the best place to keep a remote control?" he asked.

"Where?" we all shouted.

"In a remote location!" he said. "Get it? Remote? Location?"

Mr. Klutz bent over laughing and slapped his knee eventhough his joke was totally lame. We all laughed anyway. You should always laugh at the principal's jokes, no matter how lame they are. That's the first rule of being a kid.

"But seriously," Mr. Klutz said, putting on his serious face so we knew it was time to get serious, "I need to talk to you about something. Dr. Carbles, the president of the Board of Education, wants us to bring Ella Mentry School into the 21st century."

"Cool!" I shouted. "We're gonna travel through time!"***

"This is the 21st century, Arlo," said Andrea Young, this annoying girl with curly brown hair. She calls me by my real name because she knows I hate it.

"I knew that," I said, even though I really didn't. Only a smarty-pants-know-it-all like Andrea would know what number century it is. What is her problem? Who counts centuries?

"How are we going to bring our school into the 21st century, Mr. Klutz?" asked Andrea's crybaby friend Emily, who is allergic to ferrets.

"We're going to spiff up the place," he replied. "We're getting some new equipment, a security guard, a computer lab, and a computer teacher, too. In fact, she's right outside. Would you like to meet Mrs. Yonkers?"

"Yeah!" said all the girls.

"No!" said all the boys.

Mr. Klutz went into the hallway and came back with some lady. You'll never believe in a million hundred years what she had on her head.

I'm not gonna tell you.

Okay, okay, I'll tell you. But you have to read the next chapter. So nah-nah-nah boo-boo on you.

My Weird School #18: Mrs. Yonkers Is Bonkers!. Copyright © by Dan Gutman. Reprinted by permission of HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved. Available now wherever books are sold.
Read More Show Less

First Chapter

My Weird School #18: Mrs. Yonkers Is Bonkers!

Chapter One

A Computer in My Head

My name is A.J. and I hate school.

Do you know what would be cool? Instead of learning stuff in school, we should have computers built into our heads. There could be software for math, social studies, reading, and all that other stuff teachers say we need to know. You could just plug whatever software you need right into your head. Then we wouldn't have to go to school anymore!*

Think about it. If we had computers in our heads, we could spend more time doing stuff we want to do, like playing sports and video games and going to the movies and eating junk food. That would be cool. I would buy one of those computers in a minute. But I guess until somebody invents a computer you plug into your head, we'll just have to keep going to school. Bummer in the summer!

We had just finished circle time in Miss Daisy's class when Mr. Klutz came into the room. He's the principal of Ella Mentry School, and he has no hair at all. I mean none. Hats must slide off his head because there's nothing to hold them on.

"To what do we owe the pleasure of your visit, Mr. Klutz?" asked Miss Daisy. (That's grown-up talk for "What are you doing here?")

"I wanted to try out a new joke," Mr. Klutz said.

Oh no! Mr. Klutz tells the worst jokes in the history of the world.**

"Where's the best place to keep a remote control?" he asked.

"Where?" we all shouted.

"In a remote location!" he said. "Get it? Remote? Location?"

Mr. Klutz bent over laughing and slapped his kneeeven though his joke was totally lame. We all laughed anyway. You should always laugh at the principal's jokes, no matter how lame they are. That's the first rule of being a kid.

"But seriously," Mr. Klutz said, putting on his serious face so we knew it was time to get serious, "I need to talk to you about something. Dr. Carbles, the president of the Board of Education, wants us to bring Ella Mentry School into the 21st century."

"Cool!" I shouted. "We're gonna travel through time!"***

"This is the 21st century, Arlo," said Andrea Young, this annoying girl with curly brown hair. She calls me by my real name because she knows I hate it.

"I knew that," I said, even though I really didn't. Only a smarty-pants-know-it-all like Andrea would know what number century it is. What is her problem? Who counts centuries?

"How are we going to bring our school into the 21st century, Mr. Klutz?" asked Andrea's crybaby friend Emily, who is allergic to ferrets.

"We're going to spiff up the place," he replied. "We're getting some new equipment, a security guard, a computer lab, and a computer teacher, too. In fact, she's right outside. Would you like to meet Mrs. Yonkers?"

"Yeah!" said all the girls.

"No!" said all the boys.

Mr. Klutz went into the hallway and came back with some lady. You'll never believe in a million hundred years what she had on her head.

I'm not gonna tell you.

Okay, okay, I'll tell you. But you have to read the next chapter. So nah-nah-nah boo-boo on you.

My Weird School #18: Mrs. Yonkers Is Bonkers!. Copyright © by Dan Gutman. Reprinted by permission of HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved. Available now wherever books are sold.
Read More Show Less

Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4.5
( 32 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star

(20)

4 Star

(6)

3 Star

(3)

2 Star

(2)

1 Star

(1)

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See All Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 32 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted April 27, 2012

    Anonumius

    This is the funniest most amazing book in the whole intire world

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted February 5, 2014

    O

    This book is mean to some people such as smart people because a.j is always mean to a girl named Andrea just because she is smart. And its acting like girls are stupid. They are not. (I'm a boy) and they are always think that anything that doesn't include shooting is boring.

    1 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted January 16, 2014

    Best

    Best book ever

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted March 15, 2012

    Lov it

    This book is the bomb i tell you!!!!!!!!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted March 5, 2012

    My wierd schii My wierd school

    I love it

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted February 6, 2012

    OMG!!!!

    OMG I CAN'T BELIVE I AM STILL READING THISVBOOK AND I AM 18 YEARS OLD AND THIS BOOK IS ONLY FOR 18& OLDER!!!!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted May 20, 2011

    O

    Boring

    1 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted May 13, 2014

    Hungery boy

    The cheese heads make me hungery,like REALLY make me hungery!

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted February 20, 2014

    Get going on reading

    This book is funny but A,J is always saying that girls are weird ,but they are not ,Girls aren't suppost to act like they are in a books,so they don't trust me i'm a girl

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted August 4, 2013

    Cool inventions

    I wish i could make a website that made awsome jokes

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted July 12, 2013

    Amazing!

    I love all the books in this series! Defenitly check them out!

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted September 26, 2012

    Remote remote!

    Great book for kids well written

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted March 5, 2012

    Hi

    Hi

    0 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted February 7, 2012

    Junk food rules !!!!!! junk food rules

    Could you imagine a world without junk food.

    0 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted January 23, 2012

    Well...........

    Welll i have a pet turtle

    0 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted June 23, 2011

    Izzy

    Its werid she has a pet turtle

    0 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted July 15, 2011

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted February 16, 2011

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted May 18, 2011

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted January 1, 2010

    No text was provided for this review.

See All Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 32 Customer Reviews

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