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My Weird School #12: Ms. Todd Is Odd!
By Dan Gutman
HarperCollins Publishers, Inc.Copyright © 2006 Dan Gutman
All right reserved.
The Free Stuff Room
My name is A.J. and I hate school.
There's only one room in Ella Mentry School that I really like. It's the lost and found room!
The lost and found room is right near the office. It is the coolest room in the history of the world because there is lots of free stuff in there. Me and my friends Michael and Ryan call it "the free stuff room." You can get just about anything you want, and you don't even have to pay for it. So if I feel like getting a new baseball cap or a pair of sunglasses, I don't have to go to a store. I just go to the free stuff room at school. It's awesome!
So this one morning the bus got to school a little early, and I went to kill some time in the free stuff room. I saw a really cool black T-shirt with a lightning bolt across the back. It was way cooler than the shirt I was wearing, so I took my shirt off and put the cool one on. It fit perfectly. I stuffed my old, boring shirt in my backpack.
It was almost time to pledge the allegiance, so I went to class. The kids were putting their backpacks and lunch boxes in their cubbies. Our teacher, Miss Daisy, wasn't there yet. That was weird. She usually gets to school before any of us.
"Where's Miss Daisy?" asked Neil, who everybody calls"the nude kid." He actually wears clothes, but we call him "the nude kid" anyway. It's a long story.
"Maybe she got lost," Michael said.
Suddenly the door opened. We all looked up. But it wasn't Miss Daisy.
It was Andrea Young, this really annoying little Miss Perfect girl with curly brown hair who I hate. She's such a nerd. She even keeps a dictionary on her desk in case she ever has to look up a word.
"Where were you, Andrea?" asked her equally annoying crybaby friend, Emily. "I was worried that you were sick. There's something going around, you know."
"I wasn't sick," Andrea said. "I had to go to Mr. Klutz's office."
"Oooooh!" we all went.
Mr. Klutz is the principal of the school. He also has no hair. Kids get sent to his office when they do something bad.
"Did you do something bad?" asked Emily, all concerned.
"Of course not!" Andrea said. "Mr. Klutz called me in to say I'm going to be in the gifted and talented program!"
Oh man! That figured. The gifted and talented program is for dorks, dweebs, nerds, and know-it-alls like Andrea who are perfect in every way. We all took some dumb test a few weeks ago, and Andrea probably got the best score in the whole school.
"Isn't that fabulous?" Andrea said. "I'm gifted and talented!"
"What's your talent?" I asked her. "Being annoying?"
Some of the kids laughed. Andrea gave me one of her mean looks.
"I like your shirt, Arlo," she said. "Where did you get it?"
"None of your beeswax," I told her. I hate when Andrea calls me by my real name.
"Oh yeah?" she said. "Well, I think it is my beeswax, because that's my shirt!"
"That shirt fell out of my backpack last week," Andrea said. "I was wondering where it was."
Everybody started giggling. I thought I was gonna die. I was wearing a girl's shirt! Not only was I wearing a girl's shirt, but it was Andrea's shirt! Her girl cooties were crawling all over me! It was disgusting. I thought I was gonna throw up.
"Oooooh!" Ryan said. "A.J. is wearing Andrea's shirt. They must be in love!"
"When are you gonna get married?" asked Michael.
If those guys weren't my best friends, I would hate them.
Excerpted from My Weird School #12: Ms. Todd Is Odd! by Dan Gutman Copyright © 2006 by Dan Gutman. Excerpted by permission.
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