My Boyfriend Wrote a Book About Me: And Other Stories I Shouldn't Share with Acquaintances, Coworkers, Taxi drivers, Assistants, Job Interviewers, Bikini Waxers, and Ex/Current/Future Boyfriends but Have

My Boyfriend Wrote a Book About Me: And Other Stories I Shouldn't Share with Acquaintances, Coworkers, Taxi drivers, Assistants, Job Interviewers, Bikini Waxers, and Ex/Current/Future Boyfriends but Have

by Hilary Winston
My Boyfriend Wrote a Book About Me: And Other Stories I Shouldn't Share with Acquaintances, Coworkers, Taxi drivers, Assistants, Job Interviewers, Bikini Waxers, and Ex/Current/Future Boyfriends but Have

My Boyfriend Wrote a Book About Me: And Other Stories I Shouldn't Share with Acquaintances, Coworkers, Taxi drivers, Assistants, Job Interviewers, Bikini Waxers, and Ex/Current/Future Boyfriends but Have

by Hilary Winston

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Overview

TV writer Hilary Winston offers up a witty collection of autobiographical tales about her misadventures in dating.
Just when Hilary feels like her life is finally in order, she gets a sucker-punch to the gut: Her ex has written a novel based on their relationship in which he refers to her throughout as the “fat-assed girlfriend.” Her response to this affront is just one of the many hilarious stories in My Boyfriend Wrote a Book About Me--a laugh-out-loud, tell-all in which Hilary sets the record straight on all her exes. Hilary Winston was writer and producer of the critically acclaimed comedy Community and was one of the writers for the Emmy®-award-winning show My Name Is Earl. She  is the creator of a new comedy that will air on CBS in early 2014, Bad Teacher.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781402788826
Publisher: Sterling
Publication date: 05/03/2011
Sold by: Barnes & Noble
Format: eBook
Pages: 240
File size: 654 KB

About the Author

Hilary Winston is currently working as a writer and producer of the critically acclaimed comedy Community and was one of the writers for the Emmy®-award-winning show My Name is Earl. She began her writing career by getting people coffee at various places like National Public Radio and Hollywood Squares. She can now proudly say someone else gets her coffee. Unfortunately, she doesn’t like coffee. Winston lives in Los Angeles.

Table of Contents

Preface xi

Part 1 My Boyfriend Wrote a Book About Me

I Am the Fat-assed Girlfriend 3

Part 2 The Foundation Is Cracked

It All Started With a Garbage Pail Kid 19

Truly Tasteless Jokes, or How I Learned about Sex 23

I Know You're in There, Whore! 29

Hey, Baby, Let Me See Your Tattoo! 37

The Case of the Really Tight H.J. 41

He Didn't Even Look at Me Twice 45

Austin Powers, Jr. 47

My Gay Ex-boyfriends 51

Shy Pooper 61

Part 3 Bathing in Tandem AKA My First Adult Relationship

My First Adult Relationship 69

The Coital Laugh 73

Have You Been Fighting in Front of the Cat? 79

A Questionable Poo: The End of Romance 83

Witches Boarding School: My Sexual Fantasy 87

The Saddest Bath 91

My Landing Strip Is Stuck to You 97

Part 4 No More Baths (Well, Maybe a Few More)

This section will tell the stories from my acting out phase.

A Real, Genuine, 100-percent Bona Fide Christmas Miracle 107

Delta Employee Versus A Heartbroken Emotional Eater 111

Coworker Phone Sex 115

What Do You Think of My Boobies? 119

The Pre-famous Dude 125

Lolly's Acne 129

The Accidental Hand Job 131

How a Lean Cuisine Spa Meal Ruined the Perfect Hook-up 137

The "I-Can't-Believe-I-Live-on-the-Beach" Guy 141

The Texas Titty Twister 145

Whore Bath 147

Birthday Bath With a Stranger 151

What's Up With All the Baths? 153

Part 5 Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Things, and One Crazy-ass Mailman

Mom's Cancer, My Dying Cat, and Other Good First Date Topics 157

Gary, My Crazy-ass Horny Mailman 169

You Don't Believe in Love 173

Single People Are Not Welcome at Build-A-Bear 177

Past Life Regression Therapy 179

eRejection: My Foray into Online Dating 191

Part 6 Where Do Broken Vaginas Go? Do They Find Their Way Home?

My Broken Vagina 201

An Un-spiritual Awakening on Parking Level 4 207

The Last Supper, Olive Garden Style 211

Epilogue 219

Acknowledgments 224

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