My Enemy, My Love: Women, Men, and the Dilemmas of Gender

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Women want change: egalitarian sexual relationships, families, and workplaces. But women, like men, also fear change—to achieve it, both men and women will sacrifice what are now thought of as prerogatives. In intimate interviews with eighty women, Los Angeles Times Book Prize winner Judith Levine grapples with the negative stereotypes of men that, in "naming the enemy"—Mama's Boy, Bumbler, Betrayer, Seducer, Brute, Prick, Killer, and others—both militate for change and self-protectively maintain the status quo. ...

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Overview

Women want change: egalitarian sexual relationships, families, and workplaces. But women, like men, also fear change—to achieve it, both men and women will sacrifice what are now thought of as prerogatives. In intimate interviews with eighty women, Los Angeles Times Book Prize winner Judith Levine grapples with the negative stereotypes of men that, in "naming the enemy"—Mama's Boy, Bumbler, Betrayer, Seducer, Brute, Prick, Killer, and others—both militate for change and self-protectively maintain the status quo. My Enemy, My Love makes clear that gender roles, the social definitions of masculinity and femininity, the culture's assignment of certain exclusive traits to each biological sex, have imprisoned us on either side of a divide. She writes: "Gender allows a person citizenship in only one country." This timely investigation of man-hating, misogyny, ambivalence, and accommodation ends with the hope that "When better-than and worse-than give way to different-from, and different-from ceases to be a signal for enmity, categorical hatreds will lose their utility, and we will be disarmed."

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781560255680
  • Publisher: Da Capo Press
  • Publication date: 12/10/2003
  • Pages: 464
  • Product dimensions: 5.36 (w) x 8.20 (h) x 1.18 (d)

Table of Contents

Prologue: Man-hating 1
Pt. I Images of the Enemy 23
Naming the Enemy 25
1 The Infant 31
2 The Betrayer 77
3 The Beast 137
Pt. II Private Love, Public Hatred 185
4 Daughters and Fathers 187
5 Sisterhood and the Patriarch 217
Pt. III Living with Ambivalence 249
6 Battle 261
7 Attrition 275
8 Capitulation 289
9 Separate Peace 299
10 Withdrawal 317
11 Infiltration 335
12 Declaration of Independence 351
13 Truce 363
14 Negotiation 377
Epilogue 393
The Powers of Gender: Some Afterthoughts 399
Notes 411
An Abbreviated Bibliography 426
Index 431
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